Shadow Wyvern’s Top Ten Birds

These are Shadow Wyvern's Top Ten Birds ranked for Ed Bellis's What Would You Do.

Top 10 Birds
I’ll admit to being an avian fanatic. Over the past few years, I’ve discovered a kindling attachment to these masters of the sky, and an appreciation for their unique intellect. Bird-watching has become a distinct hobby of mine, and I now make it a point to identify It’s possible that my interest could blossom into a career, but I’m still holding to other paths for the present.

10. Chicken

For a more facetious beginning to this list, I figured that I would choose the most delicious of our avian friends. Having gone through a domestication process over hundreds of years, chickens are a dietary commodity, being an incredibly healthy source of protein when compared to the red meat sources like cattle. I'm sure most people have had the delightful experience of eating the flesh of this bird in one form or another, be it in a processed patty, nugget form, or fried and breaded in a bucket from KFC. It is my opinion that the value of this bird as food greatly overwhelms its diminutive traits. (Its lack of intelligence being the most glaring example of a diminutive trait) A glance at a chicken generally evokes a considerable amount of pity for an animal which is descended from an ancestor with… far more physical and mental prowess (albeit, that does not say much), but it was necessary for the progression of stabilized civilization.

9. Ostrich

Being the largest, heaviest, and fastest (on land) of all birds, the ostrich is a truly impressive creature. The largest of all subspecies can attain weights as great as 330 pounds, and heights as great as 9 feet. As the most powerful feathered creature around, they simply could not be excluded from a top ten list. Their feathers are particularly airy, allowing for ample insulation from the heat in sub-Saharan Africa.

All of these traits, however, pale in comparison to the final one: Ostrich steaks are quite possibly the most scrumptious thing I have ever eaten. Although the source is a bird, the steaks have the appearance of regular steaks from cattle, and even have a taste similar to that of beef. The biggest difference is that ostrich steaks are far healthier than cattle steaks.

8. Emperor Penguin (and others like the Rockhopper and Adelie)

The emperor penguin, and other penguins, have been markedly influential in recent years: The popular nature documentary March of the Penguins, and movies like Happy Feet and Surf’s Up have essentially made these birds iconic. They are basically the avian equivalent to seals. (Could you imagine an avian walrus? That would be pretty badass.) They’re protected by a specialized layer of feathers, and have a layer of insulating blubber. The layer of fat also helps to streamline their body. They can obtain immense speeds in the water to catch various fish, and they have drastically different breeding habits from most birds.

I’m certain most of you already know about those, so I’ll move on.

7. Mimids (Mockingbirds, or their close relatives like thrushes)

My first experience with mockingbirds was when I was laying down outside near a telephone pole many years back. I heard the distinct cacophony of a mockingbird above: It gave a call of a cardinal, followed by that of a blue jay. It then began spewing forth the most hideous sound I have ever heard emitted by a bird, and from what I can guess, it was attempting to mimic a red-tailed hawk. It was amusing watching him repeatedly flying only a foot away from his roosting spot on the top of the telephone pole, and back again attempting to gain the attention of passing females. Each female would stop on the nearby power lines, but would eventually lose interest and fly away. I have to admit that I felt sorry for him. Mockingbirds are also by no means timid birds. In fact, they will often fly away from their nest and assail grackles, crows, or even kestrels if they approach their nests.

Anyway, the important aspects of the mockingbirds is that they really do mimic the calls of other birds, but rarely anything more than regular calls, and they will not actually mimic human voices. They still retain their regular mating calls. You also frequently hear mockingbirds calling arbitrary notes into the darkness at night. Besides owls, nightjars, and poor-wills, you do not often hear any other birds at those times.

6. White Pelicans

Admittedly, the only pelican I have any experience with is the American white pelican, but regardless, they are still marvelous to behold in flight. Growing to lengths of 55-70”, they are often quite sizable to humans. They are, of course, known for their distinctive pouched beak with which they scoop up gallons of water in the hopes of snaring a fish. They then contract the pouch, squeezing the water out of the edges of their bill and swallowing the fish whole.

5. Bald Eagle

Yep, it was inevitable that this raptor would appear on the list. This bird’s continued survival was in jeopardy only a few decades ago, but it has since rebounded to being relatively safe in recent years. They are the national bird of the United States for its characteristic appearance and behavior which, according many people, has embodied wisdom, bravery, and perseverance.

4. American Kestrel

The American kestrel is an extremely small falcon, often measuring shorter than a foot long. I often see these guys perched atop fence posts and telephone poles watching over farmland for small prey like voles. They are the most common of all the falcons where I live, from what I have seen. The males have a vivid blue, brown, and white coloration with black barring which cannot be easily mistaken for another bird.

3. Eurasian Eagle Owl

This is actually a bird on my list that I have never witnessed, but makes it on my list nonetheless. It’s the largest of all owls, and is actually about the size of a golden eagle. (An interesting note is that, with most raptorial birds, the Eurasian eagle owl included, females are larger than males) It’s difficult to confuse eagle owls with any other species because of their distinctive calls, each being tangibly unique to each owl.

2. African Grey Parrot

These guys should be fairly familiar for most of you. They’re reputed as having the greatest capacity for learning human vocalizations. Their ability to perform human vocalizations has earned them a label as one of the most intelligent bird species in the world. This, however, is not simply because they reciprocate the words as a kind of game, but it has been noted to near conclusiveness that they are capable of communicating at a very minimal level with humans.

1. Crow (all species)

I absolutely love the crow. There really isn’t any doubt in my mind that crows are the most intelligent birds around, and that it is a shame they have always received such terrible public reception in the past. They have adapted marvelously to humanity’s development, namely their capitalization on dead animals struck by vehicles, and their habit of often raiding human waste receptacles for scraps of food. They are viable to consume almost anything a human is normally capable of eating.

Along with this show of adaptability, crows have personalities that I have often perceived as uncannily human-like, especially with their sociability. I might even venture as far as to say that I have a friendship building with a particular trio of crows who would often drop by while I waited for the bus to come around during my junior and senior years of high school. (I opted to not deal with driving myself) They would always perch atop a nearby dead tree, and would have what I usually considered casual conversation amongst them. They would often take interest in my presence, and fly to the ground about fifteen feet from me, and do their characteristic waddling gait, picking at little bits of food, but always maintained a curious eye on me. I then decided one time to take a bag of unsalted nuts with me to the stop, and scattered them on the ground. This allowed for an enhanced familiarity with me. Finally, with gloves and padding on my arms, I decided to try to get them to feed from my hands with success.

It was after this that they really flattered me: They ascertained where I lived, and now inhabit a group of dead trees on my parents’ property. They actually go as far as to greet me in the mornings when I come outside and they’re around. They often mildly complain when I don’t bring them any treats, but they still remain in the vicinity when I’m without treats. It’s going to be sad when I have to depart, and leave them behind.