Church of MakeYourChance

The following is an excerpt from the Founding of the Church of MakeYourChance and is written by MakeYourChance himself.

The Church of MakeYourChance: Part 1

My children, welcome to the beginning. The beginning of The Church of MakeYourChance. I already have gathered a sizable amount of members from the nooks and alleyways of Board 8, and now I have it set in my heart to expand my reach across the vast outstretches of the world. I do not ask that you believe in me; rather, I ask that you believe in the idea of me. I am, of course, flawed as the rest of you are, but I have seen the light, and it has whispered sweet nothings into my ear. I know the pains of man; I know the suffering and the torture and the binding nothingness that stretches through the hearts of all mortals. Sometimes it feels as if we cannot break free from this curse, but we can, and we must. We shall bring ourselves to the forefront and look into the sky and say, "God! You shall be proud of me. I shall do your work, and I shall do it with all neccessity!"

What follows is the first of many commandments and parables that I shall relay to you from God. I do not know where this is heading, myself, as I am just a messenger. Be assured, however, that I bring you these words in good faith.

The First Four Commandments of The Church of MakeYourChance:

Commandment 1: Thou Shalt Not Make Lists

Unless you happen to be a sizably intelligent person that people care about (AKA: ...Umm...), the formulation of a list shall lead to grave punishment. Seriously. Nobody cares. Lists are a boring, mundane way to feed the source of all evil; the ego. When writeups are included, it makes the list all the more unbearable, as it gains a life of it's own. Lists are, on the whole, evil, and the vast majority are to be banned from existing within the holy sphere of The Church of MakeYourChance. The punishment for making a list that nobody cares about is to off yourself.

Commandment 2: Thou Shalt Not Be A Sissy

He who marks others for trolling shall be hunted and staked to the ground. There is no tolerance for sucking up within the holy sphere of The Church of MakeYourChance. Those who choose to mark things just for the sake of marking things shall be cursed forever more to wander the vast plains without any idea as to who they are. Then they must off themselves.

On a side note, we do not allow people to be too sensitive to the words of others. There are times when anger is appropriate; however, several words that are intended to be nothing but good fun should never be taken as an evil act. Those who take words too seriously must off themselves.

Commandment 3: Thou Shalt Not Steal MakeYourChance's Phrases

Without proper approval and permission granted unto the user, one is banned from stealing from the vast pool of awesome rhetoric that MakeYourChance commands. Those caught using the words "off yourself" without having first been accepted into the church will be forced to off themselves.

However, the spread of the words of THE SHADOW is encouraged. Feel free to use them in any situation you deem neccessary.

Commandment 4: Thou Shalt Not Drive Durangos

If you do not oblige by this most holy of commandments, you must wander the world without brains until the day that you off yourself.

I shall continue after I have rested from my arduous journey up the Lord's path. Live in good faith, my brothers, and remember who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.