Stupid Whiner Topic Seconds Game

A persistent fad started by BlackMageJawa during SC2K5. Based on the Moderator's seconds game from April Fools Day 2005, the idea was that whenever a newb (ie- anyone who doesn't visit Board8 during the offseason) made one of those horrible common and annoying "Why is ______ losing, he/she/it is much better than _____" topics, we would look at the seconds of their post time, and post the appopriate response. All of the responses were submitted by Board8 users prior to the start of the contest.

The game was very succesful, and will hopefully return for future contests.

The SC2K5 Response List
00: Cry me a river, *****.

01: Your character lacks the reproductive organs of his/her gender.

02: You're (not) winnar!

03: CRAWLING IN MY SKIN

04: You don't win the internets.

05: YOUR WHINING IS STUPID AND YOU MUST NOW TALK ABOUT TRAINS!

06: Hey, come back when you stop failing at life, kthxbai.

07: I've seen mold that's less moldy than you are stupid.

08: And we would care because...?

09: *Explodes*

10: Only chubwarts like (your character). And people made entirely out of sausage, which aren't really people at all, when you think about it.

11: Your topic just gave baby jesus an abortion.

12: Nobody cares.

13: I don't know what you talkin about, sucka. You just a crazy foo seeing things that ain't thar.

14: It's all a part of the plan.

15: Now it's time fo' the Super Bowl Shuffle! 

16: He/She has more votes

17: GFNW

18: MASS CARRIERS = INSTANT WIN

19: http://pleasestopasking.ytmnd.com

20: Oh no, your character is winning, this is like golf and he/she is (way) under par.

21: FAILED TO OPEN CARE.EXE

22: In the words of Darth Vader, NOOOOOOOO!

23: Oh please,  would lose to CATS.

24: Why don't you make an "ATTN: Ultimaterializer" topic, he knows?

25: You flat out suck.

26: THIS TOPIC SUCKS AND IS NOW ABOUT TRAINS

27: Because you touch yourself at night.

28: EARTH! (note: I am not trying to summon Captain Planet)

29: FIRE (Note: I am not trying to summon Captain Planet)

30: WIND! (Note: I am trying to summon Captain Planet)

31: Isn't it obvious? *Winner* is actually, you guessed it, Frank Stallone.

32: I AM NOT ENTERTAINED BY THIS TOPIC! *Throws sword at crowd*

33: You bought an N-Gage, didn't you?

34: Nope sorry, you don't win ****

35: YOUR MOM!!!!!!!

36: You voted for (character)? That's one less bracket to worry about!

37: Your FACE lost!

38: img247.imageshack.us/img247/2046/11087651398853cu5hr.gif

39: V_V

40: Potato chips are delicious.

41: Because (the character) got less votes.

42: In Soviet Russia, (losing character) would be winning!

43: The Jerk Store called, they're running out of you!

44: This contest has lost all credibility

45: Shut up and sit in the corner

46: *RKOs you*

47: In the words of the SSBM announcer: FAILURE.

48: You're sleeping. This is all a bad dream.

49: I love Steinershocker

50: XD

51: http://www.freewebs.com/slowflake/cunningplan.jpg

52: How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

53: Topics with both Seinfeld and Monkey Island quotes are awesome. Topics complaining about characters losing are not.

54: Every time you whine i kill another baby seal/kitten/etc mulit seconds filler or for a single the seal clubbing

55: NO-ONE EXPECTS A FEW BLANK LINES FOLLOWED BY MY SIG! 

56. We held a meeting and decided to mess up your bracket.

57. You forgot to give your daily sacrifice

58. It's all your fault.

59. We rigged the polls