Red13n ranks ALL 493 Pokemon - The Top 10

The continuation of red13n's Pokemon List.

Rank 10: Eevee
Yeah, red did it. Seriously, did you expect me not to? If there is one personal trait that I cannot get rid of, that probably defines me more than any other, it is the fact that I am an obsessive bastard. So to those of you that know me a bit, you shouldnt exactly be surprised that the top 10 contains Eevee and all of its evolutions. Some might consider me a tad insane, some of you are angry and consider the list a total failure, but this is my list and I'm allowed to do whatever the hell I want with it. And damn it, if I see an Eevee, or its evolution, you can be damned sure I consider it to be more important, more likeable, more TOU-violatingable and just sickeningly more awesome than any Pokemon listed from 11-493. Now, I'm obsessed with Pokemon in general, I love everything about it, the premise behind it, the games, the anime, competitively play and even various spinoff games, but I have not quite obsessed about them as much as I have the Eevees. I do have a distinct love for Red/Blue/Yellow that I'll never lose, that probably comes close, but the Eevees are the only things that will last no matter how many generations go by, the Eevees will still be awesome. But really, its red, its eevees, they fit together so perfectly. Hell, if you mention one of them, anywhere, about anything, you'll probably get red interested in whatever it is that you are talking about, just for the mention. I'm an obsessive bastard, I'm aware of it, and it just doesnt bother me. I love everything about the set of Pokemon, dislike very little, and the whole set is by far deserving of going at the top of my list.

Now, Eevee is an interesting Pokemon, probably didnt quite top my list til after RBY had been out for a good while, and maybe a bit after I'd been playing the game competitively. I always thought it was awesome, I liked all of its evolutions, some more than others, but the fact that it had 3, this ended up being more of a problem at the time than something good. I mean, it was a nice gimmick that you'd already had to do once in the game, but you werent forced to choose here. You started the game, in order to continue, you had to pick from 3 awesome Pokemon. You liked them all, but you HAD to choose one, if you didnt like your choice you regretted it later and moved on because you were forced to in order to continue the game. With Eevee, you picked it up in Celadon city, it was there for you to evolve at any point to any of the 3 evolutions of your choosing. The problem, all 3 were awesome, and all 3 fit a different role in your team, and you only got 1. You could agonize over this choice, choose something, evolve it, but you had tons of time to regret it. Didnt like it? Too bad, there was no getting your Eevee. Its pretty much identical to the "Master Ball" problem, I mean, you could throw your master ball, but who knows if theres a Mew out there that requires it, you cant waste it, you've only got one. So what happens? You dont evolve Eevee and it sits in your Box being awesome forever. I had this problem, my Eevee remained an Eevee for an entire generation.

Some years after RBY, the internet finally became a bit more accessible, and the Eevee dilemma was about to be solved with GSC. And of course, soon enough we knew there were new eevee's coming. They looked like a day/night combo, so the obvious choice here was a Sun/Moon stone thing, but we were totally wrong and it was actually a die night thing. Oh well, at this point, we also knew something more: We got to turn our Pokemon into sex slaves and have them make more Pokemon for us all. So, the Eevee dilemma was finally solved, we got to breed our Eevee and get new ones, finally letting us have all of our choices. Now Eevee not only had awesome evolutions, it had 2 more awesome evolutions and we could get them all. Also all of Eevee's evolutions, minus one, actually had a use in competitive play. It was a good time to be a fan of Eevee, to say the least. Choice eliminated, usefulness increased, awesome look sustained, red approved.

Obviously, after GSC was released, I finally got to use a few of Eevee's evolutions in-game and in competitive play. I always thought they looked awesome, and like everyone, I thought Eevee's tri-evolution gimmick was really cool back in RBY, even if the idea of making a choice was just a bit too much for me. Now I'd gotten to see the Eevee's in action, gotten to level a few Eevee, evolved quite a few, and enjoyed some rather intense GSC battles with them. It was here that the line really became an established favorite to me. I mean, in RBY, they were already some of the more iconic Pokemon to me, but maybe not quite my favorites just to lack of use. I hadnt really had a chance to build much of an attachment to them, pretty much being left to an "ohhh cool Pokemon" thought. Now it was "cool pokemon" and "Awesome battles with cool Pokemon". And of course, Eevee had more evolutions, and they were both as cool as the first set, and just as memorable. By the time GSC was over, they were by far my favorite Pokemon, and I liked them even in ways people probably want to kill me for.

Of course, RSE would come, we'd get no new Eevees, red would complain, and then we'd all forget about the generation because the quality of Pokemon was pretty low compared to the last generations. But it was ok because we got DP, and with it we got 2 more Eevees, both of some very cool and very necessary types. Eevee's established coolness was made even better, the two Pokemon shared the same typical look of an Eeveelution, and they just fit in so well with the rest. Red approved, long before the game was out anywhere. An already epic Pokemon in Eevee made even better.

Now, if theres a bit of something I could say here, and you've heard it before, but, theres more reasons for Eevee to be up this high. To start out with the obvious, Eevee is a bit of a fox, in a literal sense. I dont think I need to delve into this anymore, but red thinks foxes are awesome, and Eevee is clearly mostly-fox. Not only is Eevee a fox, but it evolves into more fox-like Pokemon, all of which are extremely cool. They all have similar looks, all based off of Eevee's original form. It always creates a cool look, all for a different type, and every time its very fitting. Eevee had awesome ears, a very appealing fur coloring, and of course an appropriately awesome tail and ears. Its evolutions, they get all of this and make it even more awesmome in their own ways. Eevee is a perfect pre-evo, a cute little thing that evolves into something bigger and more important looking, except it evolves into 7 of them. All of them improved, all of them awesome, most of them at the very least usable to at least toy around with in-game. Of course, I like Eevee a lot, but it also evolves into 7 Pokemon that I like more than Eevee, that makes Eevee sickeningly important.

Also it has to be noted, but Gary had an Eevee. It wasnt actually his starter in the anime like it was in Pokemon yellow, and I note that I was extremely jealous of the rival in Yellow, but it was still cool. Its well-established that Gary was simply cooler than Ash. Ash may be our suicidal hero who has been with us from the beginning, but Gary has always been cooler. Hes not a jerk like Paul, and he always carried awesome Pokemon. When he pulled out an Eevee, it was awesome, it makes Eevee more awesome. Of course, Eevee is such an important Pokemon that Gary's Eevee wouldnt be the last we'd see on a main character team. Although, lets also note that the original Eevee anime episode quite possibly is the worst episode of Pokemon ever. That cant be left out, unfortunately. Theres been 2 other Eevee filler episodes that made up for this, they were filler, but they werent horribly unwatchable filler. That out of the way, surprisingly, even with no new Eevee in RSE, an Eevee snuck onto May's team. Red, well obsessed with Eevee at the time, greatly approved. And yeah, we get to see this "Eevee" again soon, which red also greatly approves of.

Now, I really like most Pokemon, a lot, but Eevee evolves into Pokemon I can obsess of like no other. They are cool, have plenty of sex appeal, and are established awesome. There is no way in hell I could justify putting Eevee anywhere lower on this list. It evolves into my favorites, its one of my favorites itself, and one of the most memorable Pokemon period. Eevee has had tons of awesome appearances, and is one of those Pokemon that had practically legendary status without being a legendary, purely due to obtainability. This status is a bit lower these days, but its evolutions are so improved that it more than makes up for this. My favorites, for sure. Part of the sexiest set of Pokemon without a doubt. Eevee is simply awesome, I love everything about it, and it is definitely the Pokemon I want at number 10 of this list. Massive red approval here.

Rank 9: Flareon
Now, I have to admit to you, this was a last minute switch. I had Flareon at 8 for the longest time, but I've been thinking, and while Flareon is an eon, it is my least favorite eon. Now dont get me wrong, I love Flareon, its an awesome Pokemon, but the poor thing is just the least likeable of the pack. Flareon is the most eevee-like of the eons, it pretty much has fur in all the same places, its just a big bigger. Its of course a fiery red color and capable of setting things on fire and being very hot, but that probably goes without saying just by looking at the name. Not that being Eevee-like is bad of course, considering I like Eevee alot, its just that one of Flareon's defining featurs is that fact that is basically an Eevee on fire. Its a cool look, still awesome ears, awesome tail, and awesome shape, so I still very much approve, but its without a doubt the least unique of the eons.

Flareon was a fire type, and like many fire types in RBY, it followed the pattern of being really cool, but totally unusable in serious play. Oddly enough, Flareon, this red fire breathing Eevee, didnt even have its best role as a fire breathing Eevee. Back in RBY, if you wanted to use Flareon in any form of play, and mind you that you were limited to Stadium-mode only, you had to load up Focus energy and fish out the Hyper Beams. Yeah, Flareon wasnt even a good special attacker, it was a physical attacker. It got Focus Energy, then 2 normal physical moves, and then flamethrower/fire blast, and it dished out the crits. Unfortunately, Fire was a terrible type so this was only practical in the least serious of underused play, but it was fun to do. I pulled a Flareon a few times for fun, it was, well, fun. Flareon looks awesome, and winning with awesome Pokemon is always cool. However, never did I have the guts to pull it in a serious non-underused match. It just didnt work, not to mention most of the time we played using things with an old focus energy, which made focus energy actually lower your crit rate rather than the fixed Stadium method of making you crit every time. Still, for a fire type, using fire was often not your best option. Not that a Flareon using hyper beam isnt cool, but I'd imagine a fire type breathing fire probably looks the best.

So we go to GSC and RSE, and unfortunately Flareon is a slow fire type. Ground and water are everywhere, Flareon is a slow physical attacker, thats not good. Flareon was bad, very bad. Poor thing, I honestly feel extremely bad for it all the time. So we get to DP, we know theres new Eevee's coming, we know special and physical attacks are being resplit. This has got to be perfect for Flareon, finally going to be able to be this awesome physical fire type. Eon's are no slouch's stat-wise, so Flareon might just be halfway decent. Unfortunately, this would go to further my opinion that Flareon is the forgotten eon. Not only did Flareon not get much help this generation, but with the physical split, they didnt even bother to give the poor thing a physical fire move worth half a damn. They just totally skipped over Flareon, it was downright mean. Its as bad as Pinsir never having Megahorn, its one of those things in Pokemon that just doesnt make sense. Flareon got totally neglected, totally forgotten about. Flareon could have had an opportunity to shine, maybe not be the greatest Pokemon out there, maybe not even particularly useful, but they didnt even get Flareon out of the "utterly useless" pile of Pokemon. It was extremely disappointing.

Poor Flareon, I cant write about it without bringing up the fact that its the most forgotten Eon ever. In the anime, its gotten the least amount of appearances of any Eon except one of the new DP Pokemon. But DP has a long ways to go, so I've got my hopes up for that one. Umbreon and Espeon have both had tons of appearances, and I do believe Jolteon and Vaporeon have had a tad more cameos than Flareon too. Flareon just never gets featured anywhere. As mentioned, competitively you'll never see one, in any generation. Anywhere you see eons, its just not there. I mean, its still an eon, if theres a group of eons together, theres going to be a Flareon, its just that if any eon gets shafted on screentime, its going to be the Flareon. It is by far the least loved of the eons, which is odd considering people really like fire types. Again, I feel really bad for Flareon, they are the forgotten eon, and never get much attention. I still think they are insanely awesome though, its just a sad fact that follows them everywhere.

Now, I've said it a couple of times, but while Flareon is my list favorite eon, for good reason, it is still an eon. This automatically makes Flareon sexy. Its a big fluffy fiery foxish Pokemon, so theres nothing for me not to like. I of course dont like it quite as much as the others, but its still way way up there. Unfortunately for Flareon, even in pr0n, its the forgotten eon. There isnt much of Flareon out there, and even when there is, Flareon in typical fashion isnt the most featured Pokemon. I have seen quite a few pictures with a group of all the eons, and poor Flareon is never ever the featured Pokemon, as usual. Flareon is usually stuffed away in the back somewhere, going totally unnoticed aside from the novelty of being another eon. Hell, and I checked to verify this, whenever a Flareon is up in the front of a group of eons, its body is half-cut off in the image. Again, poor Flareon, totally forgotten in every possible way. Flareon's only real purpose here is to make other eons better, which it does quite well, mind you. I will note a Flareon/Vappy pairing is extremely nice.

Seriously, I feel extremely bad for Flareon. Its a perfectly fine Eevee, but its just rarely ever remembered. Even the people making the game dont remember Flareon, its extremely sad. It may be my least favorite of the eons, but that doesnt make me not absolutely love Flareon. Its enough to put a couple non-eons over it, but still, Flareon is awesome. Unfortunately, awesome is good, but Flareon just doesnt have enough moments to put it up higher on the list. I mean, its an eevee, that makes it awesome, cool, sexy, and just about anything that I'd want from a Pokemon, it just doesnt quite hold the memories of the other 6. Flareon is pretty much forever destined to be the forgotten Eevee, and I'll feel bad forever. Flareon is one of the best eons at making other eons look better, but other than that, not much use for poor Flareon. Its an eon though, and I'm obsessed with them, that pretty much sums it up.

Rank 8: Lapras
Now, if you havent figured it out by now, I typically like Ice and Water types(And Ice and Water in general as far as video games are concerned), a lot. I've also mentioned that theres a lot of really terrible water types, and well, a lot of water types in general, but they more than made up for the overuse by giving us a few gems in the bunch. Of course, not only is Lapras a water type, but its an Ice type too. Thats like, instant-win. Well, not necessarily instant win, theres a couple others that share the type, but its awesome, particularly on Lapras. One of two non-Eeveons in the top 10, and for very, very good reasons.

I believed I mentioned earlier about how everyone likes Articuno quite a bit, more than any other Pokemon, well, Lapras comes very close to Articuno on the likeability scale. Maybe not quite as popular, namely due to not being a legendary, but I am very surprised if I ever come upon someone who doesnt like Lapras. Pretty much everyone likes Lapras, everyone who knows pokemon knows Lapras, and if you've ever played Pokemon at all you've seen a Lapras. Articuno may come in first in a lot of random pickup contests out there, but Lapras is always hanging in there as well, maybe taking Articuno's place at times. Simply an extremely loved Pokemon that is impossible to hate. And of course, its one of my favorites too, so people are totally justified in liking Lapras.

One of things about Lapras, probably why people remember it so much, but just about everybody rides Lapras. Seriously, you want to surf on your Squirtle? Sure, it will let you use surf, but what do you do in some versions? You pop out and ride on a Lapras. I have always in my head justified this by saying that you send your water type or random surfer or rhydon down into the ocean, they go and find a Lapras for you, and the Lapras is nice enough to let you ride on its back for a bit. This makes no sense in random little lakes, but lets ignore that. Either way, no matter what Pokemon you surf on, you are shown riding on a Lapras, doesnt always makes sense, but who cares. Wouldnt you rather be surfing on a Lapras than trying to hang onto a Piplup? Yeah, typically we surf on random shadow-water, which makes no sense, and I'm sure everyone would rather be on a lapras. Hell, in the anime, Lapras has been ridden on all the time, its what it does. Actually, it must suck to be a lapras, taking things on your back all the time, people should be grateful for them, really grateful.

Now, all of these things, sure, Lapras is awesome. But honestly, I bet no one saw Lapras coming this high on this list. Unless you've known me extremely well for over 8 years(No one here does), you wouldnt know the history behind me and Lapras. As far as I know, none of you were around when RBY was still popular. And Lapras, if you havent played my RBY team(Most of you havent), has forever been the staple Pokemon of my RBY team. Now, it still is, but not as much as it used to be? Why? Because back when RBY was first popular, we played with double team, minimize, all that fun stuff. We didnt complain, it was a game mechanic, we used it, we had fun, everybody had it so it was an even playing fdield, and we were all happy. Lapras my original double teamer, with ice beam/thunder bolt/DT/Rest, setup properly, Lapras was a monster. Nothing could kill it, it could take the rare thunderbolt that would come across, and it could do battle with the best of PP wasters. Now, back then, sweeping meant either paralyzing the whole team and setting up a big physical sweeper, or sticking your opponent in a bad spot with some good prediction skills, and setting up your double teamer. I could read people like books, and I set up my Lapras like crazy. completely destroying entire teams. Seriously, for a time in RBY, people were like "oh **** red's Lapras". It was pretty damn legendary at the time. Had like a 14-0 Record in the Monkey League(One of our big little leagues that got off the ground) for a time, that was cool. And yeah, seriously, people said "red's Lapras" more times than I can remember, awesome memories.

Of course DT didnt remain unbanned once GS was nearing, but that wasnt going to put a full stop Lapras. May not have been the big team sweeper it was, but it was still more than suitable for being on my team. Lapras sat in a nice spot as my "Chansey killer", it could take anything Chansey threw at it, Paralyze it with a Body Slam, confuses it with a Confuse Ray, and then stomp Chansey down with some more Body Slams. And anything that kills Chansey, especially when an awesome water type, is considered extremely awesome to red. Chansey may not quite be as irritating as Blissey, but I still took great pleasure everytime I knocked one down. Aside from that Lapras was a very versatile water type, could just take hits like nobodies business, and steal knock other things down. No full on sweeps most of the time, but still quite the formidable Pokemon. RBY just wouldnt be the same to me without my Lapras. My favorite Pokemon of my RBY team, and considering I've played far more RBY than anything, that certainly says a lot.

So yeah, as mentioned before, I played a crapload of RBY, arguably more than any game ever, and I've played MMORPG's. The thing is, I used to play RBY while playing MMORPG's, so the time put into RBY adds up quite a bit. Now, for whatever reason, not a lot of people used Lapras in competitive play. I really dont understand this. Lapras destroyed things, he forced so many Pokemon to switch out, giving you a free body slam, a free 33% chance of paralyzing something, and then he could still Ice Beam and Thunderbolt, the universal RPG combo of no-resist. It was awesome. Totally overlooked Pokemon, but awesome regardless. Lapras was far and away my favorite on my RBY team, wouldnt take him over any of the other 5, not a chance. And with the amount of time I put into RBY, that earns Lapras tons and tons of spots on this list. Enough to jump over at least 1 eon, though I'm sure if you ask me a year from now that number may be 2. For now just 1, but Lapras has always been one of my favorites, and we've been through way more battles together than any of my other Pokemon.

Awesome looking Pokemon, water and ice type, one of my favorites from RBY, and simply one of the best Pokemon ever created. No way to keep Lapras out of the top 10, not a chance. Undeniably one of the most-well rounded Pokemon ever. Totally universally liked, for perfectly good reasons.

And just an FYI, Lapras could easily switch spots with #7, I couldnt decide. Its very much an essential tie, but I had to break it somehow so I decided to go with an eon by default(Actually I had to convince myself somehow, you can take that statement as you will).

Rank 7: Glaceon
Now, I must admit, I was practically drooling when I saw the new DP Pokemon. We were getting Eevee's, red was happy. Really, really, really happy. Not only did we get new Eevee's, but they were awesome types. Seriously, I had given up on them, figured a generation with no new eons, we couldnt possibly be getting more. Our possibilities of Vineon and Blizzeon or whatever else was out there seemed like just random thoughts that'd never happen. I was surprised, but extremely pleased. RSE without a doubt had the weakest selection of Pokemon, and no Eevee's pretty much shows exactly why. But we got DP, and very early on we saw, new Eevee's. People were happy, red was really happy, all things approved. Everyone likes Ice types, and grass types are pretty universally respected(Keeping in mind people think very highly Turtwig for whatever reason). Nothing not to like. Also, I have to note, with types no longer being special/physical, we now have new openings for potential eons, so I'm hoping for more in generation 5.

Now, for whatever reason, and I know the reasons, people thought I actually didnt like Glaceon. Well, they thought that for an Eon I didnt like Glaceon. I think everyone I knew well thought I'd have it high, but either at the very bottom or seperated from the the rest of the eons(People that knew me knew I'd have the eons at the top). This simply isnt the case, Glaceon doesnt suffer from the small problems that drag Flareon down to the bottom of the list. Glaceon, while still towards the bottom of my eon list, is still a Pokemon I can find myself uhhh, obsessing over on a consistent basis. Leave that at that, for now. People totally misunderstood my thoughts on Glaceon, I mean, it never has been my favorite eon, nor anywhere near the top, but its still an eon. An ice type eon at that, definitely a plus in the type department.

Now, these thoughts about my opinion of Glaceon weren't particularly unfounded. I talked about Glaceon a lot, and very rarely did I ever mention anything positive. Honestly, you dont want to hear me talking positive about the eons on a spur of the moment basis. Those thoughts are probably best left in my head, for obvious reasons. Now, normally, I consider eons getting a lot of attention to be a good thing, but at a point, even red can see it as a bit over the top. Mainly, if you didnt realize by now, I -really- got attached to Leafeon when DP came out. I'll leave that for a later writeup, but lets just say I liked it more than Glaceon. That said, Glaceon was everywhere. It was an ice type, so people as usual got a bit more attached to it. I didnt quite get it. It wasnt deserving of 90% of the DP eon attention. But everywhere you went, Glaceon Glaceon Glaceon. You couldnt avoid it. Wanted to see another particular eon? Too bad, you got Glaceon. I was just really, really attached to Leafeon, and then Glaceon was everywhere. I vented my frustration quite a bit. I mean, I appreciated the eon attention, just wished it was spread out a bit more evenly. I understood an ice type being a tad more popular than a grass type, it just was a tad overboard.

Now, lets take a look at what Glaceon is. First of all, its very clearly a fox. Its also an ice type. Glaceon is also various shades of blue, and did I mention, its an eon? Seriously, all of those are like instant win in reds book. Actually, not a huge fan of the icycle hair things in front of a Glaceon's face, they seem rather inconvenient and odd, but they dont look terrible. Everything about Glaceon other than that I am in total approval of. Aside from the mental note of the random pokedex comments that a Glaceons fur can be frozen into unnoticeable spiky ice, which sounds extremely painful. Now, it may be quite the attention whore, but its still an ice type, and eon, and a fox, and blue, and thats whats important here, right?

You know, the more I think of it, Glaceon kind of reminds me of a Flareon, though its loved quite a bit more. Why? Because Glaceon is a slow pokemon with a rather useless type(Ice alone without water isnt much on defense), it cant take hits, and its movepool isnt great. Not quite as bad as Flareon as far as movepool is concerned, but its still not particularly great. Its definitely the useless of the two DP eons, no way does Glaceon ever see a remotely competitive match. Just doesnt have the proper build for it, though with how Glaceon is typically portrayed, the fact that its not much of a battler is no surprise. The anime has pretty much cemented this, with a Glaceon, red approved, making an appearance recently. Yeah, they brought back May's Eevee, awesome Pokemon btw, as a Glaceon. A contest Pokemon, obviously. Unfortunately I think the anime is setting this up for something that shouldnt in any way happen with the way the characters have been portrayed, but nothing is going to stop that. I'm content with just the Glaceon appearance. Poor Glaceon just isnt much a battler, though I dont feel bad for it on the level of Flareon.

I suppose I have to mention the fact that I see Glaceon as the attention whore Pokemon. In umm, every possible way, to put it lightly for now. As mentioned, with DP, they are the eon thats gotten the most attention. And this attention extended well, everywhere, from the clean to the well, pr0ny. Not only do people whore over Glaceon, but Glaceon is well, quite the slutty Eon. I do believed I complained more than anything about Glaceon having about 90% vs Leafeons like 10% in terms of the pr0n pie. They were just, well everywhere. Now, I understand there being a lot of pr0n of Glaceon, its sleek, portrayed as more of a non-combat Pokemon, ice type, etc. Its kind of the attached personality people put on glaceon, I get it. Now I admit for a time I got just plain sick of Glaceon, I'd seen enough, but I kind of got over that when everyone calmed down and balanced out the eon ratio a bit. Now I approve much more, though I do wish it would tone down a bit more, its not at the point that I'd complain about it. The internet has led my mind to think of Glaceon as a bit of a snobby stuck-up eon, but I still find them quite sexy. Its a good look, thats for sure, even if I do prefer quite a few eons above them.

So yeah, ask me in a year if I like Lapras or Glaceon better, I bet Lapras jumps a spot, purely on overall value. Glaceon, while an awesome and extremely sleek looking eon, doesnt have a lot to carry it far. But for now, I'm still not quite over the "omg new eevee" factor, and I've gotten out of the "damn it another glaceon" stage, so Glaceon probably jumped a spot higher for the moment. For now, I like Glaceon more than I have at any time before. I still find it to be the more whorish and snobby eon, but thats ok. One of them has to fit the personality, right? But I like the look, awesome type, awesome coloring with diamond patterns all around, which make for some really cool ears btw, and of course a blue color. And as you probably realize, Pokemon being blue is a massive plus. Second least favorite eon, but still an eon, and thats all thats important here. Red approved.

Rank 6: Jolteon
Oddly enough I was totally unaware of the fact that I grouped the 2 eons with potentially sharp and spiky fur together. But yeah, Jolteon is the other one, with staticy yellow fur or really spiky white fur, either way I'd imagine its potentially quite painful. Potentially stabby death aside, which I wouldnt have mentioned much if not for those last set of posts, Jolteon is an extremely cool eon. The yellow spiky look is quite practical for an electric type, and it looks very cool on an eon. Maybe a bit lower on the list than it would be if it didnt get overshadowed by my favorite of the original 3 eons, but still a very cool and respectable eon.

Actually, I think one of the things I do not like about Jolteon, keeping in mind I consider Jolteon to be extremely awesome, but the typical Eeveon tail has been totally mutilated. Really, Jolteon doesnt have much of a tail. The standard eon tail, which is usually pretty large, has been scrunched up into bits of longer spikier sections of fur. It sitll looks cool, and its still technically a tail, but its just kind of a downer. I like the cool tails on the rest of the eons, and Jolteon just kind of disappoints there. Still, cool ears, cool body, cool spiky white area of fur, and a look I greatly approve of. Still very much fox-based as well, always a huge plus.

Actually, in one of the early Pokemon Battle Sims we used to use for RBY, Jolteon was fairly popular. This was mainly due to, well, Jolteon being broken. Literal broken. You see, Jolteon got this little move called Pin Missile, and the person who programmed the sim, screwed up royally with pin missile. Jolteon, being an electric type, naturally has pretty high speed, which in RBY, gave Jolteon a reasonably high critical hit rate. Pin Missile, of course, has one chance to crit, and then it doubles the damage on everything. Well, Pin Missile was screwy, on the particular sim, it had a chance to crit with every missle. Not only that, but if it crit, it made the single hit multiply 3-5 times normally, and then crit, and then continue on with the other hits. Or something along those lines. Either way, it would one-hit KO a Golem. Now, I approve of eons killing things, but that just wasnt cool. People used to use Jolteon to cheat, they knew Pin Missle was bugged, and then they used it anyways. For whatever reason, this was perfectly acceptable and Pin Missile was never properly banned on the sim. It kind of skews my memories of Jolteon a bit, I mean, I love the Pokemon, but it did some really crappy things to me.

Jolteon also happens to be one of the bigger victims of Focus Energy being broken in RBY. If a team didnt have a ground type, and Focus Energy worked, Jolteon could absolutely destroy things. Unfortunately, someone was dumb and broke it, so Jolteon was just your average electric type in RBY. Moreso, it was basically a slower electrode that couldnt explode, but it looked cooler while not exploding so it was ok. Was perfectly reasonable to throw Jolteon for a sure-fire T-wave to paralyze, but the poor thing just couldnt dish out much damage without the help of focus energy. Thunderbolt was pretty much its only means of offensive, without the ability to crit that every time, it wasnt too hard for anyone to find a Pokemon to eat a t-bolt or two. Playing RBY a lot, probably came across quite a few Jolteon, its still a very legitimate Pokemon in the metagame, but its definitely got some downside to it. Never did use one myself in RBY either.

Now, I've kind of been down on Jolteon a bit too much here, particularly as far as competitive play is concerned. But you know what, that RBY thing, as far as I'm concerned with Jolteon, it doesnt mean a whole lot. Why? Because Jolteon snuck its way onto my second GSC team. Not only that, but it had an epic, epic save in a match that I will never forget. It was Sneak 3, a big tournament, you probably havent heard about, but it was big. It was important. I was doing good, I wanted to go further. Unfortunately, I was backed against the wall in GSC. My team was going down, I hadnt had luck go my way, I maybe made a bad move or two along the way, and things werent looking good. I was down to my Jolteon, and my opponent(IMAP for those curious) still had 5 of his Pokemon. The first up, was an Exeggutor. It was at 90% health or so. All signs pointed to screwed. My Jolteon had a single attack, thunderbolt. The Exeggutor had more than enough health to take several thunderbolts, and after that, I had 4 Pokemon left to go. I was done. Everyone thought I was done. I'd said gg, I was just going through the motions. My Jolteon did have a little something up her sleeve, and that something happened to be attract. The Exeggutor didnt get off its first attack. So I survive a little longer. Then it happens, thunderbolt, critical hit, Exeggutor is Paralyzed, Exeggutor is fully paralyzed. But its still an exeggutor, its still got some health. I'm still down 5-1. Then my Jolteon first off another bolt, critical hit, again, now we're in business, but things still looking bleak. But now, I wanted that eggy down. I'd had a grudge against the thing since RBY, and my Jolteon didnt want to drop this match just yet. A few more thunderbolts, the eggy failing to attack me, and I was now down 4-1. Luckily, Jolteon was totally capable of beating 3 of those in a single hit, or two, without taking. we'd overcome impossible odds, it was 4-1, but now I had hax. The next Pokemon, I cant get it to attract, and I'd have needed 3 bolts to down it. I dont remember the exact Pokemon, but my Jolteon opened up with another critical thunderbolt, with a bonus paralyze, and an even more bonus FP. The luckhax had begun. My Jolteon had saved my ass. My Jolteon proceeded to roll over the rest of the team. I won the match, and my tourney life moved on. I cant tell you how ecstatic I was over that match. It was an epic win. Its also one of the reasons GSC cemented the eons as my favorite Pokemon in every possible area.

Now, from a totally non-game related standpoint, I tend to see Jolteon as the eon you least want to **** with, and an eon that tends to be in charge based on natural ability alone. Why? Because Jolteon are typically always paralyzing things, I mean, its an electric type thing, its what they do. Something wants to try beating up on a Jolteon? Not a good idea, you got the aforementioned staticy and spiky fur to deal with. Its just well, a bit impractical to piss off a Jolteon. Anger a Jolteon and, well, you could just find yourself unable to move for a time. Thats a pretty overpowered ability, but its what electric types do. I imagine fur with electricity running through it could be potentially painful as well, not something you want to screw with. That said, due to the previously mentioned abilities, combined with Jolteons usual tough-looking appearance, its usually seen as an eon in charge of various situations. Yeah, this can usually extend over to the pr0n too, but I'll totally leave that out of this for now. You guys can use your imaginations to figure out how that pans out.

Jolteon is an interesting little Pokemon. I mean, sometimes I consider it to be one of my top 5 Pokemon, but other times I look down on my memories, and think "damn you Jolteon". I mean, its an eon, thats the big important thing, its still fox based, it looks cool. Got some flaws, some bad memories, but its got tons of good sitting in my head to bring it way back up again. Sometimes really high up, I considered moving Jolteon up to #5, and I assure you the gap from 6 to 5 is smaller than the gap from 5 to 4 on this list, but I thought about it some more and I was totally happy putting Jolteon 6th. Being an eon I obviously find Jolteon extremely sexy, I still like 5 Pokemon more than Jolteon, 4 of them other eons of course, but Jolteon still is really awesome. Tons of good memories, some epic memories, it was on one of my GSC teams(This counts for a lot, mind you), I just cant stress enough that its a really awesome Pokemon. Maybe I went a tad negative with a bit of this writeup, so I'm trying to make up for it with needless praise. I was somewhat mentally trying to justify the 6 and 5 thing, as I was really considering switching them up before posting this, but after running my thought process around a few times, I'm very happy with Jolteon at 6.

Rank 5: Espeon
Now, Jolteon and Glaceon stab you with spiky fur, Flareon sets you on fire, but Espeon, Espeon destroys your mind. Dont *** with it. Seriously. Your mind is a terrible thing to have destroyed. A psychic type and an eevee, not something you want to mess with. Of course, I'm just kidding, and theres no way in hell an Espeon would ever do something like that. They are just too, well, naturally nice. Some eons you mess with and they can do horrible horrible things to you. Espeon, they just dont do those things. They are the day-based happiness evolution, counterpart to a dark type, the poor things just dont have it in them. Espeon are the nice eon everybody likes and they are pretty much extremely loyal and attaching. You just cant look at an Espeon and not like it, very high on the likeability scale.

I mentioned it a few times, but Psychic types have a fairly common trait of a random jewel thingy on their forehead. Its just like, a psychic thing. I guess a glowing head thingy is a sign of a brain doing crazy things, it makes sense, its a good gimmick, and it looks good on Espeon. Its a fair psychic gimmick, but the thing about thats surprising, it glows with the sun. Yeah, the sun, and what did we get, yeah, a Sun Stone. Eevee's evolve with stones, we've got a sun stone, we've got a sun Eon, but does it evolve with a stone? Nope, happiness. Now, happiness is totally fitting for an Espeon, its a Pokemon that only wishes for your happiness, but still a stone would have been more fitting.

Now, I know its definitely not a plus, but it has to be noted, for whatever reason, Espeon is not a fox. Now, its clearly part fox, seeing as it comes from Eevee, maintains the general eon look, and all that good stuff. But Espeon is very clearly part cat. Maybe I'm in a tad bit of denial calling it part cat, but really, its not a huge problem. When you look at an Espeon, you see an eon. You dont see a cat. You look at Persian, thats a cat, you look at Espeon, and you see an eon. Not that being mostly cat is a bad thing, but it is a bit of a downgrade from a Pokemon that is clearly fox. Not bad though, and I love Espeon's look. Awesome ears, awesome little split tail, cool looking psychic eyes that glow somewhat. Looks totally fitting for a psychic type eon, even if it isnt entirely fox.

Obviously, I like the GSC eons, a lot. They are up high, above 2 RBY eons. One of the reasons, really, is that I have absolutely no bad memories of either of them. The RBY eons, for instance, not sure if I mentioned this before, had an anime episode in like the first season. It was bad. It had unlikeable characters, the Pokemon had no personality, and the whole episode just had a bad premise. It made you want to stab your eyes out and click the X...errr, turn off the TV, yeah. It was bad, it was quite possibly the worst Pokemon episode ever. And it had eons, and red is obsessed with eons, so that is really saying to how terribly bad the episode was. There was just no way to not like it, and the ending premise of "Keep your Eevee an Eevee" just didnt make sense. Now, I like Eevee's, but the goal of Eevee's should be a difficult choice, but a choice, of which eon to evolve into. Obviously, the whole thing was bad, so GSC got its own episode. And in that episode, we had a bunch of girls owning Eons. They conveniently were missing an Espeon, all dressed the color of their eons, and we had a pinkish/purple girl with an Eevee. Obviously, we were getting an Espeon, and they delivered. Now, it was still a filler ep, so quality wasnt exactly high, but it was miles above the last Eon episode. Not to mention, the eons had a tad more character. A more fitting eon filler, without a doubt.

Now, not only was the anime portion better with GSC, but the GSC eons were not slouches in the games, and didnt have the same glitchy annoyances. Espeon was workable, not the most powerful Pokemon out there, Psychic was no longer the strongest type like in RBY, but Espeon had a pretty decent movepool, decent stats, and was totally workable into the metagame. Probably not your best choice, but it was more than an option. And hey, lets face it, the eons just plain old look cool when you bust them out in-game. GSC of course fixed all the eons except poor Flareon, but the new ones, they didnt suffer from some bad memories I'd developed back in RBY. They were fresh, new, balanced, and had some interesting moves they brought along. None really fit on any of my teams, but I loved seeing people throw them out into battle.

Now, I've mentioned them before a few times in this writeup, but Espeon has some pretty unique and cool looking features. First of all, Espeon has long and awesome looking ears. They just look big, and cool, and appropriate. They has have a slightly darker shade of purple on their eyes, and they kind of give off a shiny reflective look. Being a psychic type, I think its supposed to be kind of like they arent eyes and Espeon is moreso seeing the world with its mind. Now, while it is a psychic type, I'm pretty sure its eyes are actually eyes. Now, while the eyes are kind of like jewelish things psychic types have, the jewel on its forehead actually is. And when an Espeon's staring at something, thats what you see. It looks cool. And lastly, the rather unique and cat-like thing, Espeon has a thin, long, and forked tail. Its weird for an eon, most have big wide tails, but Espeon is thin up to the ends. Its apparently meant to point out psychic things, but really it just looks cool, imo. An Espeon knows things in its mind, it doesnt need its tail pointing them out. Still, awesome looking eon, I shouldnt make small complaints.

Espeon of course, is one of 2 Pokemon in the top 5 that as far as I know, no one hates. Not going to say which the second one is(Should be obvious), but really, they are well-liked Pokemon. Espeon is a rather original, happy looking eon, as mentioned, this simply causes people to like it. It just looks so innocent and happy when you see it, you just cant help but like it. It probably helps that Espeon is the loyal and protective eon, it wants you to be happy. I always though of Espeon, a psychic type, as kind of an emotion feeder. Seeing as it can probably read your mind, I imagine them being a tad happier when others are happier, which is why the damn things are so nice. Seriously, Espeon is supposed to be opposite a dark type, its the happy "Everything is good" eon. Its just not capable of bad things. They just are very likeable, you see an espeon, you approve. Its how it goes. Everyone likes Espeon, maybe not one of their favorites, definitely one of mine, but I'm sure its a Pokemon people really think highly of.

A few more notes of Espeon to go, just because I like it that damn much. Obviously, Espeon is an eon, looks like an eon, and as such, has lots of sex appeal. Being so nice and happy looking, it carries over there too, its a trait they tend to not drop ever. Also, and you totally had to see this coming. I have never seen an Espeon's tail used for any practical matter, unless it was pr0n related. Seriously. Its just how it goes. Could be totally useful for various things, but no, never seen it outside of that. Espeon are definitely higher up on the sexy scale than the above eons, of course, though its typically used to fit a different role. Still, I approve of them used in such a fashion.

A few more notes of Espeon to go, just because I like it that damn much. Obviously, Espeon is an eon, looks like an eon, and as such, has lots of sex appeal. Being so nice and happy looking, it carries over there too, its a trait they tend to not drop ever. Also, and you totally had to see this coming. I have never seen an Espeon's tail used for any practical matter, unless it was pr0n related. Seriously. Its just how it goes. Could be totally useful for various things, but no, never seen it outside of that. Espeon are definitely higher up on the sexy scale than the above eons, of course, though its typically used to fit a different role. Still, I approve of them used in such a fashion.

Seriously though, its a psychic eon, day type, well-liked. No way in hell could I list Espeon outside of the top 5. Its an eon, and a very likeable eon. I see an espeon, I think "Really want". Its a very good Pokemon, very interesting type, very cool look. Being a psychic type, its also very much able to be used in an in-game playthrough to turn it into easy mode. Mentioned it a few times in this list, but psychics eat the games. Its what they do best, even if they are typically reasonable in competitive play. Espeon is one of the more well-rounded eons, fits very well in any situation. Awesome eon, good Pokemon, exactly how I want to start out the top 5.

Rank 4: Umbreon
Couldnt possibly keep Espeon and Umbreon apart could I? They go together, quite well, I might add, but thats besides the point. Them being next to each other on the list is purely coincidence, and probably a product of me really coming around to loving the eons around GSC. Actually, its not as true as it sounds. Of course, you probably realized this, but had DP not been released, Umbreon would have been up to 2 on the list. Thats quite a feat. And, despite being 5 and 4 on the list, and the fact that I absolutely love all the eons, the gap between #4 and #5 is quite high. Probably the biggest gap remaining on the list. I like Umbreon, a lot. Same with the Pokemon above Umbreon, of course, but they get that same huge gap from 5 to their number. Seriously, I mentioned a few big games earlier, but this one is where it goes from "holy **** awesome" to some indescribable line of favoritism. Needless to say, I like Umbreon, a lot.

As mentioned with Espeon, and you probably put it together with Umbreon, they were setup for the sun and moon stones. Seriously now, Umbreon's most defining feature is its glowing yellow rings. Now, Espeon's little jewel glows with sunlight, Umbreon, its rings glow with moonlight. The whole day/night thing, that had to have been a last minute "Hey lets abuse a cool feature" thing, because they are eons, and they fit perfectly with 2 stones. Very hard to justify the happiness thing, thats for sure. I mean, Umbreon is black, a dark type, I totally understand that, but still, the damn thing has a huge moon-related gimmick. It just didnt make any sense to not get an Umbreon with a moon stone. Now, this doesnt make Umbreon any less cool, its just one of those interesting facts that makes you go "wtf" when you look back at them. The pair was pretty clearly intended to evolve with stones, but oh well. Umbreon is still cool.

Now, if I know peoples opinions on Eevees, and I do. Umbreon is probably the eon that tops peoples lists the most. Its a cool sleek looking dark type, people will like it. Now, I mentioned it earlier, there 2 eons no one hates, Umbreon is not one of them. A lot of people think its a really cool Pokemon, and it tops peoples eon lists more often than not, but for whatever reason its not quite as well-liked by everyone. Some people just dont like it, I think its a dark type thing. People like nice and happy looking Pokemon, or big giant dragony things like Charizard, but none of the eons are big giant dragony things, so lets ignore that for now. But Umbreon is a dark type, it looks, well, like a dark. Its not a "Make everyone happy" Espeon, its well, the opposite. Its just not nearly as likeable, even if its a bit sleeker and more badass looking, it can manage to find its name on the low end of an eon list. Its a sad fact sometimes, but its understandable.

I kind of mentioned it already, but Umbreon is meant to be the "badass" eon, or at the very least, it kind of shares that with a Jolteon. Its a bit sleeker and not remotely spiky looking, I mean, it doesnt look all that dangerous, but it does look like a Pokemon thats not going to take your crap. Umbreon can look pretty damn mean, for one thing, the awesome looking red eyes certainly help along with that. The sleeky black look, with the rings, it just looks pretty awesome. For a dark type, its extremely fitting, I think the yellow rings on an Umbreon's ears/tail/legs all look extremely cool too, and of course, their all glowy when Umbreons are doing something important. Its a very cool look all around. One interesting note, often when Umbreon has an appearance in-game or elsewhere, its tail is often looks exactly like one of its ears. Same basic shape actually, though its tail is actually about double the size of one of its ears. I'd imagine a bit more mobile, as well.

You know, one of the things that oddly enough sticks out to me when I think of Umbreon, is that people tend to abbreviate the eon names. Espeon will be referred to as Espy, Vaporeon as Vappy, Flareon will get cut down to Flare on a rare occurence, Jolty goes to Jolty. But Umbreon, no one says "Umbry" or anything similar. With Umbreon, they tend to cut off the first part entirely. People, myself in my head included though I dont find myself using it often, actually refer to them as "Bres". Yeah, the whole first part gets cut off. Its fitting, it sounds good, but their the only eon to have the first part of their name chopped of. Bre's has a nice ring to it though, thats for sure. Also the two new eons dont actually get shorted very much due to having already short and quick names, so they are a bit of an oddball, but Umbreon gets the distinction of being chopped down to one of the cooler sounding shorthand names. Seriously, if you havent, just think about referring to them as "Bres" it rolls off the tongue really nicely, its fast, and it sounds cool.

Now, if theres one thing that helps a Pokemon, its getting on a main characters team in the anime. Gives them a bunch of moments to shine and build memories and all that fun stuff. However, getting on a team is one thing, getting on Gary's team is an entirely different story. Gary has always been, well, cooler than Ash. Its just how things go, Ash is the main character who makes epic screwups but somehow goes along and wins in the end. Gary, while not the big champion winner guy, is the character meant to be cool, meant to look awesome, and meant to show off awesome Pokemon. We got to see Gary pull out an Eevee, it was cool, we were happy, Eevee was an established cool Pokemon. Then we got to GSC, we got our Gary appearance, and we got our Umbreon. Umbreon looked cool, did cool things, and was awesome. Umbreon's badassery was further established, it kicked ass, it looked cool, and it was one of Gary's Pokemon. A nice little fit there, and a perfect place to plug in an awesome new eon.

Another thing I kind of touched on earlier, but with GSC, we finally got to pull out most of our eons in battle. Umbreon, a new eon, was pretty much a perfect fit for the traditional GSC metagame. Didnt get a spot on my awesome teams, but it was a cool Pokemon to see people pull out and kill things with. Actually, they didnt so much kill things with their Bres but moreso stalled them out into submission. Umbreon, a GSC Pokemon to the end, was a big dark type tank. Not actually big mind you, but Bres are pretty damn bulky as far as stats are concerned. Reasonable HP and very nice numbers on both defense stats, as well as a type that just isnt dominated very often, they could take some hits. Couldnt actually deal direct damage, but you'd ofen see people finding some cool uses for their Umbreons. Not the best Pokemon out there, but I think its established that playing Pokemon, particularly competitively, is more fun when you are using Pokemon that are awesome. Umbreon are awesome, of course, so when you get to toss one out in battle I'd say its quite satisfying.

Its kind of obvious, so I'm surprised I didnt mention it directly, Umbreon is meant to be the total opposite of Espeon. It was a success, pretty much, well beyond the obvious day/night thing. Espeon was the "make everyone happy no matter what" eon, Umbreon is, well, not. Umbreon is more of the "Make Umbreon happy" eon. Seriously, they are the dark type of the eons, they are, well, a tad dark. Not necessarily mean and angry, but seriously, Umbreon are out for Umbreon. Espeon are kind of unconditionally nice, start messing with an Umbreon, and you get poisonous sweat. Seriously, poisonous sweat. Thats got to be a pretty damn mean defense mechanism. I mean, you see a Jolteon, you know its probably potentially a lot of yellowy spikes, but poisonous sweat? I dont think your going to see that coming. I suppose its why I often associate Umbreon with the move "Toxic", aside from the obvious fact that its a staller. Even if it is technically a TM move, I'll often kind of associate it with Umbreon. Poisonous sweat has got to count for something. Umbreon are generally portrayed as the more devious of the eons. Not mean or anything, as mentioned, but if an Umbreon really wants something, the Umbreon tends to find a way to get it. They kind of pair up with Jolteon in an "in-charge" eon sort of way, its just their motives tend to not be as nice. They are awesome and badass though, so this fits them, no complaints from me.

Unlike its counterpart, Umbreon is totally back to the fox look. More eevee-like, bigger tail, awesome ears, totally not a cat. Its an wesome look, I approve. It obviously puts them a bit higher on the sexyness scale, thats for sure. Although the black sleek look with awesome rings, ears, and tail certainly helps quite a bit too. Speaking of which, Umbreon are, well a dark type. As such, they get in on more pr0n. Its, well, a dark type thing I suppose. Its simply a fact that Umbreon are the eon with the most, well, pr0n. Well, a lot of its is an Espeon and an Umbreon together, but they are kind of a generation package deal, so they are always together regardless of the umm, circumstances, I suppose. It actually fits both of their typical personalities when you think about it, though I'm sure I'm one of the few people that would actually think about this. Not always with an Espeon, mind you, probably the majority not, but there are a lot of Bre's in pr0n. People like their eons, and Umbreon just kind of fit the role in peoples heads nicely I suppose. They tend to kind of fill this role in the same way as Jolteon, though again, its generally more apparent that its for themselves than anything else. I'd tend to agree, obviously, it fits their nature. The fact that they tend to look very nice in the role probably helps too.

Umbreon are kind universally cool, so if you havent IM'd me on AIM before, I kind of use an Umbreon as my buddy icon. I mean, I could use my #1 or #2 Pokemon, but they dont always look as cool to someone else. Umbreon just tends to look a bit more badass, so I think its a bit more eye-pleasing to someone IM'ing me or something. I also tend to use an Umbreon for profile pictures for things like Poker or other random profile things(Stickam, off the top of my head). People see it and it just kind of looks cool and badass to them. So, its a very nice Pokemon to kind of parade around as awesome. I mean, I like Pokemon, and obviously I like eons very much, so when I get an opportunity to stick one somewhere where it will look cool, I'll take it. Umbreon is perfectly fitting for it, and I definitely approve of seeing an Umbreon on my screen when sending someone random IM's or kicking ass at Poker. They just never fail to look cool.

So as mentioned, if you couldnt tell by the sheer length of the writeup so far, I like Umbreon, a lot. Not quite as much as the Pokemon ahead of it, but the gap isnt too large, I assure you. Its an awesome and fitting eon, badass and cool in everything it does. Umbreon have tons of awesome and cool appearances, lots of sex appeal, and are just the badasses of the eons. And yeah, I know some people like them a ton, I do too, just not quite enough to put Umbreon at the very top of my list. But hey, if your complaining about a Pokemon getting up to #4, I have no idea how you sleep at night. Seriously, this is really high up, and I really, really like Umbreon a lot. Umbreon fill the dark-type eon role perfectly, just the perfectly look and style to them. And well, if you screw with them, they have poisonous sweat of death. So you dont mess with them, unless you are a Zangoose as the internet has pointed out in interesting ways a few times. Anyways, Umbreon are the 3rd highest eon on the list, thats, quite high, #4 total, they are just sickeningly awesome. I think I've raved on about them long enough, but Umbreon are just plain cool in everything they do. And FYI, highest GSC Pokemon on the list.