(7)Tidus vs (10)Donkey Kong 2018

Ulti's Analysis
Last match I talked about how the board gets some matches where they get to laugh at casuals, but these contests are such that the casuals often get to give it right back. On the literal same exact day where we picked Aya to beat Victor Sullivan, the casuals destroyed us in hilarious fashion. This was a hotly debated match pre contest for all kinds of reasons, but the main one is both characters have a contest history of being epic choke artists. And if they aren't choking, they're having these insanely close matches for no reason.

Donkey Kong:

-Goes 50-50 with Aya Brea for over half the match in 2002 before winning with the day vote. -Goes 50-50 with Tommy Vercetti of all people in 2003 before losing. -His game came dangerously close to blowing a 3000+ vote lead to Duck Hunt, and only won because Duck Hunt ran out of time. DK showed ZERO resistance whatsoever and would have lost had Duck Hunt started rallying one hour sooner. -Lost to Vivi in 2004 as a pretty decent favorite. -Choked away a 2000+ vote lead against Master Chief in 2005. -Almost lost to Marth in 2007 before becoming L-Block's second victim in 2007. -2008 speaks for itself, and it's the main reason Tidus was the board favorite in this match: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/poll/3260-division-5-round-1-donkey-tails-tidus-cube -In 2009 games, Donkey Kong got a DISTANT second place before getting stomped in round 2. Donkey Kong Country pretty much had the exact same story. Barely got through round 1, stomped in round 2. -In 2013, he barely beat Lightning, which is another reason Tidus was favored. Surely, Tidus had to be stronger than Lightning enough to be able to beat DK. -In 2015, DKC2 went 50-50 with Xenoblade and Fire Emblem Awakening before getting rolled by Symphony of the Night.

Tidus:

-Goes 50-50 with Ganondorf in 2003 and loses. -Goes 50-50 with Shadow the Hedgehog in 2004 and wins. -In 2005 there was a debate between Tidus and Kirby. Tidus lost. -In 2006 there was a debate between Tidus and Squall. Tidus scored 28%. That is not a typo. -In 2007 he finished a close second to Pikachu and then basically went even with Pikachu and Vivi. -In 2008 he lost to a nonsentient hexahedron. Twice. We already covered him rolling DK that year. -In 2010 there was a debate between Tidus and Sub-Zero. Tidus lost. -In 2011 there was a debate between Tidus and Metal Gear Solid. You get the idea. -In 2013 there was a debate between Tidus and Missingno. Tidus decided to cheat that year and he got caught, because Jecht Shots don't work on land.

So as you can see, we had two atrocious resumes going at it, but Tidus had good reason to be the favorite here. He had already beaten Donkey Kong badly once, and his stat value was consistently ahead of DK. I'm all for LOL x stats, but when you're stronger every year you're stronger every year.

"Whoops."

We forgot two very important things. One, Tidus has won one debated match in 16 years. One. He beat Shadow the Hedgehog. "Congrats." And two, we had zero idea the degree Smash Brothers Ultimate hype was going to completely dominate this contest. This match was our first real example, but it was going to get very ugly for a lot of characters very quickly -- even in wins! Tidus was just the first casualty.

Without Smash Bros, the Switch being a godsend, and his own contest history being worse than the Minnesota Vikings in the playoffs, Tidus might have had a chance. With all of that, no way. Ask any tortured fanbase. The second anything goes wrong, their team feels it and collapses. There's a very real "oh no" energy to the pre-2004 Red Sox, the Vikings, Cleveland pre-2016, the Cubs pre-2016, and so forth. When this poll started and Tidus only held it together for a grand total of two minutes, his fans all knew. Even the cheaters from the Missingno match. They all knew. Tidus was toast.

This match was 50-50 at the jump. By the freeze it was 54-46 and by the end of an hour it was completely over. For how debated this match was, Tidus got completely destroyed. What was especially hilarious is everyone thought this match was a debate in good fun, because this was only supposed to be a one point match.

Yeah. About that.

Also, Square is just completely done. They can win matches here and there, but their chances of ever winning a contest against given the Switch and Smash Bros are just gone. Nothing they do can compare to the amount of hype Nintendo is able to generate. By all means tell me the last time Square got a reaction like this over a game reveal:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPHQlTGDR8Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q05VKcXoT6A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2NSSJpqCZY

I'm happy for my wife's sake I avoided all those hype vids. She would have had to dealt with me openly weeping tears of joy like everyone in those videos did. Sorry not sorry, Square cannot compete with that anymore.