Shad, KBM, and War play through the entire Fire Emblem Series

In early 2014, Shad created a topic saying he would play through every Fire Emblem game in existence. It was soon hijacked by KBM and War, who quickly overtook him in progress. The first topic purged with all three of them midway through the game. In response, KBM (who documents all of his write-ups for some reason, even though nobody else does) made this page. He was planning on making this page when the first topic reached 500 and copy-pasting everybody's write-ups onto it for posterity, but alas. 'Twas not to be.

KBM's Writeups
 FIRE EMBLEM: DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT

Because that's what my translation has decided to call it. Although it's also calling cavaliers "social knights," so I don't know how reliable this actuallyis. It does seem to be the only complete translation out there, so I suppose you take what you can get. Everything else seems pretty legit.

And mark me surprised that the classic Fire Emblem theme was present from the very beginning. Hitting a home run to write such a strong theme for an entire series the first time up. And honestly, speaking of the game's age, these graphics really aren't that bad for 1990. The same general feel of the GBA games is definitely there. But this is speaking as someone who grew up playing games (including old turn-based RPGs) on his dad's Atari 800, so I'll always be more forgiving on old game graphics and mechanics.

Anyway, enough rambling about all that. The game's starting.

CHAPTER ONE: MARTH'S QUEST

Some dude wearing crazy pink X-Men armor tells Prince Marth that Princess Sheeda has arrived from Talis Castle. The pirates of Garda suddenly attacked her group and took over the fortress, but it's okay because even though her father has been captured, Aritia's most courageous knights are inside the fortress. Which begs the question of what they were doing WHILE it was being captured, but maybe they're just leaving out critical information. This paragraph mostly exists to keep the critical information at my own eye level, so I remember the plot, such as it is.

Taking a look at my opening units, we've got Marth, a Lord; Jeigan, a Paladin; Kain and Abel (lololol), "Social Knights"; Doga, an Armor Knight; Gordon, an Archer; and Sheeda, a Pegasus Knight. Of note: Kain would appear to be more powerful but worse at everything else than Abel. Don't know anything about any of the other characters' stats because I have nothing to compare them to, but from my knowledge of Fire Emblem they all look like fairly standard units. I'm sure I will participate most adequately in my own time-honored tradition of selecting all the wrong units because they seemed better at the time.

Now to some actual gameplay, which I'm sure will be RIVETING to read. Kain and Abel go down and kill a thief (with Kain delivering the finishing blow and gaining 40 XP). No idea what that guy was doing just hanging around an unidentifiable blob of terrain. I will assume he was a moron and that nobody will lament his death. I then try and have my Paladin try to visit a village, because I never use the pre-promoted units in Fire Emblem, but it would appear only a Lord can actually do that in this game. How irritating. But at least I got 10,000G! I also learn from a house on the north coast that a guy named Riff lives to the west. I wonder who my first recruitable character is going to be.

Moving west, I find myself thanking every deity man has invented that these soldiers are only good for one HP of damage each when I attack, because I am A) worthless at remembering the simple rock-paper-scissors of the weapon triangle unless I think really hard, and B) not moving my troops with anything resembling strategy. I also ASSUME Gordon's steel bow is better than the "bowgun," but I have no idea how to check, so I'm just defaulting to the bowgun until further notice.

And then people start taking significantly more than one HP of damage. Specifically Sheeda and Marth. This is gonna be some fun times.





 Yaaaay eating my words because I've already had to use my Paladin to bail people out (namely Sheeda... I hate keeping Pegasus Knights alive). This is one of those old games where the learning curve = "none." In fact, I'm not even sure if promotions work the same way in this game as I would assume they do; I am flying blind here. But I am experiencing a bit of luck all the same, because as two pirates flank my army (read: Marth) from the sea to the north, he crits the first one (who takes him down to 3 HP) and dodges the second one's attack on a pretty low dodge chance if I'm reading the charts correctly. Huzzah for almost losing the main character murdered by random pirates on the first go-around!

Ah! Music change! I like actually this ("you only have the boss and his minions left to fight") music much better. Never mind that I'm absolutely terrified of what the boss, Gazack the Pirate, can do to my army if I attack him with the wrong guy, since I can't foretell what kind of damage he's going to do like in other games.

BUT SHEEDA'S DAD CAN WAIT BECAUSE WE GOTTA VISIT ALL THE VILLAGES

Plus, I have my first set of level-ups to attend to!

Actually that was a place-holder sentence. Nobody leveled up. And it's just Gazack the Pirate sitting up there waiting for me. Waiting for a bunch of Level 1 noobs whose faces he can murder indiscriminately.

PLUS SIDE: I manage to heal Marth up at a fort, and I have recruited a Cleric who can take care of future healing duties. His name is Riff. I am excited that Riff exists. I like Clerics. I LOVE that I have a Cleric in the first chapter. His name is Riff.

But color me absolutely dismayed, nay, devastated that healing others doesn't level this motherf***er up.

It is at this point that I decide to experiment with the "Save" option I noticed in the battle menu. Then some crazy-looking pink chick tells me to hold the reset button before turning the power off. Goddamnit, Fire Emblem, I thought for once MAYBE you would have a savescumming function.

So after searching for five minutes for a reset button, I relaunch the game and quick load. So we're gonna be doing this the hard way.

Or perhaps not so hard! Doga gets in two hits and evades Gazack the Pirate's hit, which leaves me free to bring in Abel to throw/lob two javelins (in hilarious NES-era fashion, I might add) at Gazack's face, kill him, and receive a vulnerary for his efforts. The embarrassing part is that nobody leveled up throughout this whole chapter. Most of them got damn close, though! I would say that Doga and Abel only need to TRY to hit something once and they'll get to Level 2. In any case, huzzah for a relatively painless opening chapter without any deaths, even though Marth came perilously damn close. And without even REALLY knowing what I was doing! :D

In total it took me eight turns to seize the castle, where the completely insane looking King sends me to Orleans with Oguma. He also tells me I will incounter people who are bitter to Durhua, who I should search for to fight along side with me. I would not choose to trust this King, who seriously looks like he's smoked way too much crack in his day, but the game is forcing me to, so I guess I'll find out what in the hell the story of this game is... NEXT TIME, in Chapter Two of FIRE EMBLEM: DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT.



 CHAPTER TWO: GARDA PIRATES

At first I thought "2 Garda Pirates" were talking to me, both introducing themselves as "mercenary Oguma." Then I started looking for the chapter title. Fair enough, even though I still have no idea what the plot is or what we're trying to accomplish here. Are we trying to take over Durhua? Is this a FFIV situation where we're going to massacre a bunch of cities full of innocent people and then rebel when we realize the King is completely nuts? Eh, I assume we'll eventually stumble across the plot, if only by accident.

In any case, now I have four new units! Oguma and his posse consist of, well, Oguma, a Level 2 Mercenary; Saji and Maji, Level 3 Fighters (Saji being a much better fighter but Maji being much faster, in typical Fire Emblem unit-introduction fashion); and Barts, a Level  5  Fighter. Oh, and apparently a pirate named Daros wants to meet Marth and join him. Nifty.

He is not, however, one of the giant mass of pirates directly to the north, all of whom are conveniently named Garda. In murdering these lovely folks (completely unprovoked, I might add, and just taking a complete stranger's word for it that they want to kill us...), I receive a wall of level ups for my efforts! Abel reaches Level 2 and gains 1 skill, weapon level, speed, and HP. Gordon levels up and gains 1 weapon level and 1 speed. Sheeda: 1 skill 1 wpn 1 speed. Doga: 1 skill 1 wpn 1 HP.

Then I accidentally attack Daros because he either appeared out of absolutely nowhere or I misread his name as Garda. "Oops." FORTUNATELY, instead of attacking me back and forcing me to kill him, he runs up to Marth and recruits himself, which make my job ten times easier. Sure, I hurt him pretty bad, but Marth was right next to Riff, so I can heal him. Oh, and apparently the only way to level up Clerics is to allow them to get hit. Goddamnit, Fire Emblem 1. When everybody was talking about the leveling systems in FF2, nobody was saying they were a GOOD idea. At least you have that kickass recruitment theme going for you already. I also now already have as many axe users as I will ever need.

Oddly enough, in the second wave, all the horses are named Grunia for some reason. I NEED EXPLANATIONS. Managing to gain a level on the second wave are Marth, who gains 1 power, speed, luck, and HP, and Jeigan, who gains absolutely nothing. This would seem to confirm my belief that all prepromoted units are garbage. I will not be making this mistake again.



 Ah! But then I get a patented Fire Emblem Hint(TM)! A hunter named Kashim asks the princess to forgive her because she really needs the money, before turning Daros into a less-cliche "full-of-holes" metaphor than swiss cheese. (Fortunately she missed on one of her shots, so the good pirate's still living... he's just existing in a state of constant mortal peril these days.) Sheeda's in easy flying range, so I swoop over and recruit her too. Question: is Hunter the prepromoted Archer (i.e. Sniper in later games), or is it actually a different character type?

Now I got a sidequest from a town! Which is good because I don't even really know what my main quest is, so at least this gives me something to shoot for! A girl named Rena (who, from dialogue, I believe to be a healer of some sort - maybe the type on a horse) ignored a man with a green mustache's warnings and went to the Devil's Mountain. She hasn't returned. He pays me 5,000G to go get her.

And then I get to the castle, where a man with a hand axe named Gomes is waiting for me. Fortunately, Gomes, like most CPU hand axe users, is almost completely ineffectual due to low accuracy, and very little trouble to dispatch. The killing blow comes courtesy of mah homeboy Daros, who advances to Level 4, gains 1 luck and 1 HP, and receives a steel blade in recompense for not questioning the murder of a man who has done absolutely nothing to us. Nine turns after beginning, Marth seizes the throne and the man with the green mustache returns to congratulate us for our success.

Oh, and to get to Orleans, we need to cross Devil Mountain, so it looks like we won't even need a Gaiden chapter to activate that particular sidequest. He tells us to look out for a skilled man named Navarre. Next time, in Chapter Three of FIRE EMBLEM DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT, Devil Mountain will be taken on. So far, so good - lots of level-ups and no deaths, thanks to a couple of lucky close calls. I am sure, knowing Fire Emblem, my luck won't last.





 CHAPTER THREE: DEVIL MOUNTAIN

"Miss Rena! We must escape faster or we'll be in trouble. I heard Aritian men are here. That's our chance!" "I'm sorry... but I left my  ***Relieve   behind. I need to get it back... Forget about me and save yourself."

...Wait, is this, like, some God-staff that is totally worth suiciding over? Because I have the perfect unit to suicide that hella ISN'T a healer if we're going that route. *calls Jeigan over just to be safe*

"I can warp you to a different location!"

Ope. Nope. Wait. Completely useless staff. Unless you're suddenly switching to talking about another staff with absolutely no context or preamble. That would be fine too.

"No way! If you do that I won't know why I betrayed them... I will get the staff later. Just focus on running away. Let's go!"

Okay, that whole aside was confusing as hell. But I've got a thief now! His name is Julian, he's Level 3, and he's right next to a ton of enemies. I've also got Cleric Rena automatically, which is nice (she's also Level 3).

And the first thing I'm noticing: this map is HUGE. This one might take awhile. A man in a house very kindly informs Sheeda that mercenaries can be "very skilled" (thanks), and I have a couple units escort Marth as I bring him around the southern edge of the map so he can visit the town there. Where he is given axe (not AN axe, just axe) that will suck his blood and eat his flesh. Terrific.

Most of my units, however, I bring around to the north to save Julian and Rena from instadeath, as they start this level immediately flanked by half of the enemy units on the map. Plus, you can get to the castle from either direction, so soon THEY will be flanked by my armies. I am a master genius planner.

...It was a little bit better of a plan, that is, until most of the units to the west started moving around to the south. Ah, well, it's still a good plan. Also, the CPU is really all-over-the-place as far as what unit it decides to move next. It would be a lot quicker if it just decided to move all of the units in generally the same place at the same time.

"It's a pity, but I must kill you." --Navarre, 2014

I DON'T THINK SO MISTER--hey, wait, Sheeda can talk to this guy. I suppose I have this topic to thank for being able to recruit my second mercenary, because without the piece of information that Sheeda recruits five characters in this game, I would've never thought to try with anybody but Marth, who is currently on the other end of the map. So I successfully recruit the jackass that tried (and almost succeeded) to murder Abel, because Navarre's chauvinistic sword "won't harm a woman." Neat. This basically just ends up making the whole northern section a lot easier to take out.akwla (<- this is me trying to move my cursor while Notepad is still selected. Just thought I'd leave that in there for your amusement. It happens a lot more often than I let on.)

After a whole lot of fighting (most of which involves me wishing I'd sent one of my archers up north, considering how tight a space it is), I manage to make it through both waves of enemies, fairly uneventfully, and without casualties. This is mostly because the idiot CPU archer who's left alive north decides to attack my full-health thief instead of Sheeda, who I stupidly flew over to try and kill it, failing miserably because she, being your typical Pegasus Knight, can't do any damage. I am getting some serious luck in this playthrough, you know?

 So, after a couple of level-ups that aren't worth mentioning, all of Marth's unexplained enemies in this section are dead. That is, except for the boss. His name is Hyman.

...

*snicker*

Daros then promptly dies to Hyman.

Well f***. That's what I get for snickering.

Then Marth gets critted by Hyman. Which results in his death. Suppose the game probably won't let me justify that one. Well, this game just got challenging.

I have been broken by Hyman.





 '''CHAPTER THREE: DEVIL MOUNTAIN TAKE TWO'''

Oguma reached level 3! gained 1 power! gained 1 skill! Kain reached level 2! gained 1 skill! gained 1 wpnlvl! gained 1 speed! gained 1 HP! Doga reached level 3! gained 1 speed! gained 1 luck!

Some different level-ups than last time, and a couple people missed out on the action entirely just because of the way the map is shaped (Saji and Maji didn't even get to attempt a hit on an enemy, of the people that I would be willing to level). Fortunately for everyone, even though Sheeda got nearly destroyed by an archer when she recruited Navarre, we make it through to the end of the map with no casualties this time. Particularly not Marth. Still gonna have to kill Hyman, though, which is a daunting task.

Navarre reached level 4! gained 1 power! gained 1 skill! gained 1 wpnlvl! gained 1 HP!

Well, hey, that works. After getting chipped down by Navarre and a few other not-too-squishy units, Doga delivers the finishing blow, along with gaining 41 XP for our efforts. Nobody dies, which is awesome, and ah, I see Hyman has Rena's  ***Relieve. That could be handy. I'm glad Marth's group and this cleric were able to find common cause in breaking through Hyman's gates in order to  ***Relieve   ourselves.

And now a completely random old man has shown up to tell me the bandits left 15,000G in the castle, and also tells me to get a good night's rest before we go to Orleans. I still don't understand what the plot is. Perhaps that comes... NEXT TIME, in Chapter Four of FIRE EMBLEM: DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT.



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<p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%"> CHAPTER FOUR: PRAIRIE BATTLE

Oh man. The first chapter where I have to choose my units. This is where I get to royally (no pun intended, War) screw up the game and you all get to shout at me for my poor choices! Unfortunately, after quite a bit of searching, I can't figure out a way to transfer people's items from the menu. And Jeigan has good equipment (including a nice silver lance I want to give to Sheeda). Ah, well. Maybe there is a way to transfer equipment - let me know if there is, because for now I'm just bringing along the people I want.

So for now, sitting out are Jeigan (bad), Riff (Level 1 as opposed to Rena's Level 3), and Maji (never been overly fond of axemen in Fire Emblem, so I randomly chose one of Saji and Maji to omit).

Now, to address the title, this doesn't sound like NEARLY as ominous of a situation as "Devil Mountain." Sounds like a nice, quiet little battle we're going to have on this here prairie. Which, as luck would have it, happens to be in Orleans, where I think the plot has been hiding! The opening text doesn't really give me much to go on, though... just that I can hear distant horses. Makes sense, since there are a s***-ton of social knights right by the castle. This should be fun.

Barts gains a level on literally the first enemy (a thief), whom only he and Sheeda could actually reach, so my star Fighter is now Level 6 and has gained 1 power! 1 skill! 1 luck! 1 defense!

Anyway, my strategy is essentially to do exactly what I did last time, which is to send half of my army, starring Marth, around to the west of the map, because that's where all the villages are. The rest I send north. The difference being that of the ones I sent north, only Daros will be able to get to the final portion of the map all that easily because it's covered in water and he can create land on the water. Fun times.

Sadly, I get way overambitious with this ability, and Daros is almost immediately killed. We're talking on the third turn. Really too bad, because his stats were looking pretty good to me... then again, what do I know? He kind of played like Dart does, where his stats look really good but he can't hit anything for s***. I'm going to assume that's what was going to happen and just reconcile myself with this loss. I promise to be more careful, guys. srsly I never said I was good at these games.

"General Benson owns a Knight Killer. Social Knights better don't get near him." That is nearly poetic.

"Use keys for doors and bridges and then you can pass." Wait, I need a key to pass bridges? That makes no sense. But there are a couple bridges on this map (including one blocking an arena...YEAH LIKE I'M GOING TO USE AN ARENA no I'm not going to use an arena in this game). So I suppose I'll find out.

So on my next turn, Marth and Julian both crit the s*** out of some opponents and almost gain levels. Navarre also crits the s*** out of some poor dude. And everybody I sent to the north has ALMOST gained a level and then runs out of units to kill. Goddammit. Abel actually does gain another level, though, along with 1 wpnlvl, 1 speed, and 1 HP. I am honestly growing to quite like several of my units. This is a mostly unrelated comment, considering Abel does little to no damage on any of his hits.

Let me take a minute to just chat about how overpowered Marth is. He got a level, okay, and gained power, skill, luck, and defense along with it. That's great. He's doing about 15 damage a hit. That's even f***ing better. Here's where the trouble is, though. There's a unit named Machis that comes up to him, and shouts "I WISH I COULD SEE RENA BEFORE I DIE" and then Marth pounds him with a 45-point critical.

THIS IS NOT OKAY.

On the plus side, looks like Daros ain't dead after all.

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<p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%"> '''CHAPTER FOUR: PRAIRIE BATTLE

Take Two'''

One small amendment to my previous strategy: this time I bring Jeigan along instead of Saji OR Maji. This way I can get the equipment out of his hands and into the hands of someone that can use it. As, for example, I would love for Sheeda to have a silver lance. I also use him throughout the mission to buy entry-level equipment for Navarre and Marth, so they have something other than Killing Edge and rapier to use.

I'll probably settle on one of Saji or Maji to use later, but as I've said, I'm not an axe fan in FE, and it makes that feeling even stronger when there's not actually a weapon triangle. (That said, I'm definitely fond of having one or two axe-wielders around, but I've already grown to quite like Barts, whose level up to 6 at the very beginning gets him skill, wpnlvl, luck, defense, HP, AND power this time around.)

There is something to be said for halfway intelligent, cautious unit advancement, and this time I make out well up north, because I'm not overly worshipful of Daros' ability to walk on water. He, with the help of Navarre, Oguma, Julian, and Kashim (+power/skill/defense), make pretty quick work of the units up north. Cautious unit advancement is something I often don't have the patience for, but it definitely pays off in both areas, because hiding Marth in back of my troops means I can actually use Rena to recruit this new social knight Machis. Not that I'm really planning on using him, because Kain and Abel are doing great (and by the way, all level ups mentioned in the previous write-up happen here with actually slightly better growths!), but one “limitation” I'm putting on myself is that I have to recruit all the units I'm capable of doing without looking things up, and this guy made it easy for me to see what I was supposed to do.

This time Machis chooses to attack RENA on his first turn near my army... and he still says “I WISH I COULD SEE RENA AGAIN BEFORE I DIE” when he attempts to kill her. I'm not even sure I want this guy. Clearly he's either blind or an idiot. I appreciate the free XP on my cleric, though. He did miss. Maybe that's what he was going for. Y'know, because he loves her so much. As a sister, apparently. Also, I love his complete non-sequitur of “By the way, have you found a man you love?”  right  after they're talking about the state of things in Macedonia and joining the Aritian army.

Yeeeeeah this guy's numbers look like crap. Why the hell is his skill 2? And it's not like his other stats are all that much better from Kain or Abel's on any front, who are Level 2 and 3 respectively.

In any case, I finally get Marth to the first city, where yet another green-mustached man who addresses him as “Aritian man” gives us 5,000G without any prompting. I do like how much love the townsfolk pour on us with absolutely no explanation. An armor knight attacks, and Kain gains power, speed, luck, defense, and HP on literally 2 XP, leading me to realize I should probably have equipped him with that armorslayer he just got. Not too much harm done, though, and we dispose of the armor knight and his posse with little trouble. Marth also levels up, gaining skill, wpnlvl, luck and HP; so does Gordon, gaining wpnlvl and HP. Doing alright.

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<p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%"> And then! Marth meets a dude he knows named Marich in the northern town and recruits him immediately! A guy who studied magic in Khadein! Yes! We have a magic user! My favorite type of unit or character in almost any game. He has Excalibur and Freeze, which I can't wait to try out.

So basically everything goes off without a hitch, and all we've got left is the boss, Benson (a L5 social knight with a knightslayer), and his personal b****, a cleric. Doga, Marich, Gordon, and Oguma advance on the enemy position, give Benson a good walloping, and he really has no chance. No chance at all. Why throooooooow your lives away? We even end up killing the cleric before Marth seizes the castle, who spent the entire battle running around at random intervals not helping his boss in the slightest. Good on you, Mr. Cleric.

The mission ends, and the SAME GREEN-MUSTACHED MAN thanks us for liberating the southern castle from the Macedonian forces. The King and Nina (who?) are protected by Hardin (who?) in the northern castle (where?), and we are to give Hardin “this sword.” (what?)

Welp, no time for explanations, apparently. But we'll try to find this Hardin and give him the sword... NEXT TIME, in Chapter 5 of FIRE EMBLEM: DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT.

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<p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%"> *note: this write-up is compiled from two separate playthroughs to maintain both accuracy and first impressions*

CHAPTER 5: ORLEANS SOLDIERS

Oh, f***, what do you mean I can only select 9 additional units? That is  hardly  fair, with the amount of units this game has tossed in my face thus far. I guess I'm going to have to decide on my core group of guys earlier than I thought.

Well, I like diversity, so we're going to spread out the unit types we bring. After much deliberation, I decide, in addition to Marth (Level 3), I will be bringing Marich (1), Julian (3), Kashim (4), Kain and Abel (both 3), Barts (6), Sheeda (2), Doga (3), and Oguma (3), the last of whom was randomized between Oguma, Daros, and Navarre. Oguma did get the finishing blow on the last boss, so it does seem only fair that he ended up being the winner, but hopefully I'll be able to bring a few more people along in some future missions.

But suddenly, at the beginning of the mission, it makes a hell of a lot more sense that more of my units were unable to come, because we start with five free ones. Three social knights, named Biraku (1), Roshe (3), and Hardin (6...hey, that's the guy we're supposed to be looking for!), and two horsemen named Wolf (3) and Zagaro (1). I can certainly use at least one of the latter two, and even though I'm not 100% in the market for any more social knights, I could be persuaded.

As you probably already guessed before you reached this point in the write-up, I instantly regret not bringing a cleric with such a relatively squishy team, but we'll try to make do. The first notable thing to happen is a Sheeda level up, complete with power, wpnlvl, speed, luck, and defense. The rumors would appear to be true about her legendary stat growths. I knew there was a reason I was keeping the Pegasus around. Julian follows that up with a level of his own, gaining speed, luck, and HP. And we get an Oguma level-up, although he only brings in wpnlvl and HP. Definitely not as good as this set of level-ups was in my first try, candidly, but not all that bad. Thus, our main contingent defeats the first group of enemies on the map with very little trouble.

That is, except for a priest named Wendel who's standing around. First impulse: I've got this magician named Marich who I literally just recruited. I'm willing to bet this new magical enemy type who's named can probably be recruited by him. Although, before I even get the chance, he runs up to Marth and recruits himself for me, so that's fine too. I bet I COULD have recruited him with Marich, though. After all, he does introduce himself as being from Khadein (which has apparently been taken over by a dude named Garnef from Durhua, who's conscripting all the mages. I'm starting to see the conflict in this story).

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<p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%"> Paragraph o' Incompetence Alert!!! Meanwhile in the west, Biraku gets  almost  destroyed by enemy units, but that's fine. He retreats. Then one of the units follows at the same speed and actually does kill him. I'm willing to accept this, I hadn't grown attached to him and since he comes with five other horse-riding units, I kind of assume he's not going to be responsible for recruiting any units in the future. I actually kind of like it in Fire Emblem games when characters die “organically,” at least every so often, because it lends a sense of dark realism to the proceedings. Plus, everybody else seems to be doing just fine at this point – in fact, a couple of these units are doing pretty damn well. Particularly Wolf, actually. Who then also dies. I really am not very good at this, but to be fair, these units started in a chokepoint that was really quite difficult to get out of. I still feel like I'm doing better than Shad. I have Sheeda, after all.

And now, I'm going to level with you guys real quick: all I had to change here from my first attempt to my second is the names of the unfortunates who perished. First time it was Zagaro and Roshe. Frankly, my theory is that, with the exception of Hardin, these units just kind of suck, and it's no great loss. Add that on to the fact that they start out with a ridiculous choke point and it kind of just seals the deal: the only really viable strategy here is probably to just force the enemy themselves through the chokepoint and let the new group just sit there and deal with them. If I were smarter about these kind of strategy game situations, I probably would have realized that that was the proper course of action right off, but as it stands, I'm still comfortable losing a couple of horse units I'm never going to use again.

Anyway, Marth gets a Fire something-or-other (emblem?!) that I have to send to storage... I'm assuming this is either for Marich or Wendel. More on that later, I suppose. We also get some unsettling news about people who can turn into dragons in Peraty (Mamkutes, they're called), but hopefully we won't have to be facing one of those for awhile yet. And I'm getting constant warnings about things I'll find inside the fortress, which I assume is the next chapter once I conquer that two-square castle-looking thing over there.

Abel reaches Level 4 and gains skill, wpnlvl, and HP. Barts reaches Level 7(!!) and gains skill, wpnlvl, defense, and HP. Continuing to get some pretty good level-ups; I've really only had a couple of duds stat growth-wise, which is nice. And in the end, we make it to the fortress I've been hearing so much about, which is guarded by two armor knights: a normal one and a boss named Merak. They get their asses handed to them by my two magic-users, who are showing remarkable utility so far, and both advance to Level 2. Marich gets a door key, and also wpnlvl, luck, and defense; Wendel gets a silver lance, and wpnlvl, speed and HP.

And all enemies are disposed of, so, overall, not a bad day. I'll learn from the whole chokepoint scenario, Biraku and Wolf's friends will mourn them in their own way, and Marth will STORM THE KEEP. There, he is welcomed by the King, who declares that Princess Nina will arrive (from where?) shortly, but would I please defeat the enemies inside. Surprisingly calm, really, for a guy who's apparently living in a fortress that's been taken over by people who want to kill him.

I see on the next map there are tons of chests, so Julian will get plenty of things to do...NEXT TIME, in Chapter 6 of FIRE EMBLEM: DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT.

P.S.: I did give Hardin the sword.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%"> CHAPTER 6: FIRE EMBLEM

All right. Since the title of the series is the chapter title, this seems like as good a time as any to say this: for a game that came out in 1990, and was sort of a pioneer of the whole Tactical RPG genre... this is damn engaging. Surprisingly so, in fact. It's a straight-up engaging game. Sure, it's dated by today's standards, particularly in the way it chooses to tell its story and the lack of any real character development (even for the leads), but it's still got that special something that makes you understand why this series really caught on, even if it was only in Japan for the first six installments. It's just fun.

Now, I did grow up playing games from the '80s (including RPGs) on my dad's old Atari 800, so I'm bred to be accustomed to a certain amount of old-school-ness. But it's not like I can pick up just any old game. It's a stark contrast to another favorite “pioneer” series of mine from the same time period, Might and Magic (not Heroes), which paved the way for all computer WRPGs to come. The first three are unplayable today. I'm dead serious, they are so dated in every possible way that for a modern gamer, M&M1-3 are almost impossible to figure out. I've tried. In fact, it's not really until Might and Magic VI: Mandate of Heaven that they really got the formula down, even though it's the much-forgotten series that paved the way for later classic series like The Elder Scrolls and Fallout.

Enough about video game history, though. In getting 13 additional units to choose from, I'm able to solidify what I feel pretty comfortable calling my main team of heroes for the moment: Marth, Kain and Abel, Doga, Sheeda, Barts, Oguma, Kashim, Julian, Marich, Hardin, Wendel, Rena, and Navarre. All are Level 3 or 4 with the exceptions of the magic-users, who are both Level 2 (for now); Hardin, who's a 6; and Barts, who's a whopping Level 7. (Like, literally. Those seven levels are whopping. They WHOP. Loudly.)

Anyway, our big enemy here is a general named Mariones, who introduces us in his opening monologue to his group of armor knights, archers, magicians and thieves. Unfortunately for him and his troops, I am also possessed of all of the above, and for my first trick, I send Julian to retrieve 10,000 gold from the nearest chest. Briefly cursing the game for putting  Doga  in the back of my formation, of all people, I advance to meet the enemy head-on. Honestly, after the chokepoint debacle of the previous mission, this map doesn't look all too difficult. Famous last words, I'm sure.

I'm just thinking that it's about time there's a map with nobody on it I need to recruit, but then I notice a thief named Ricardo just sort of hangin' out behind that locked door I didn't bother to open because there was an enemy thief behind it and I assumed he would open it himself. He does not. And all the other enemy thieves advance towards chests so they can steal my goods from me. On a long shot, I decide to open the door with a door key and try to recruit him with Marth, so Julian can go ahead and get things from chests. Enemy thieves still manage the chests furthest to the southwest and northeast, and sadly, the game does not tell me what was in said chests. I assume you have to use Warp shenanigans in order to get whatever's in those. Whatevs. I can deal.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%"> Lo, behold, etc., recruiting Ricardo with Marth does NOT work, so I'm going to have to send Julian back once he's done treasure hunting. I suppose that's no big deal, since there are a lot of armor knights around anyway and Julian's going to be completely pointless as a military unit against anything with any modicum of defense. Unlike Kain with his armorslayer, who is wrecking the enemy's s***. And levels up to 4, gaining power, speed, luck, and defense. And it's a good day for social knights, because Hardin also levels up, gaining wpnlvl, speed, and HP. And in the next chest over, there's a... “Reblow”... staff...? Whaaaaat the heeeeell is that

I then lose out on two more chests. Seriously, I must have to do crazy things with both thieves at once and that warp staff in order to even have a chance, because I'm not exactly moving defensively here, and Julian has already taken his fair share of damage from a pissed-off armor knight. This map being chock full of those guys, and me only having a couple of people who can truly take care of them, it's definitely enough to keep Rena busy, but I do manage to avoid any deaths, at least on the first (and largest by far) wave of combatants. In fact, there are frankly a f***-ton of Macedonian units in this fortress, that I kind of had to deal with all at once. Let's just say I'm getting a lot better at this. Lots of good experience to be had. On which note, Marth reaches Level 4 and gains speed, luck, and HP. Sheeda also reaches Level 4, gaining power, wpnlvl, speed, luck, and defense (I repeat, legendary stat growths on this one. She's a keeper).

After we're pretty much done taking out all but the boss and his surrounding minions, I finally get Julian back to a place where he can talk to Ricardo, whom he of course knows. They argue for a bit about whether thievery is noble and whether Julian is really fighting for justice, blah blah blah blah blah. The point is, Ricardo is Level 1 with terrible statistics, and Julian is Level 4 with decent ones, so guess who I'm sticking with.

Moving forward to the boss area, my favorite swordsman Oguma levels up to 5, gaining power, skill, luck, and defense. I'm moving forward most aggressively with my magic-users, Kain, and Barts, because I know they can take out that general together, and also Marth, Abel, and Doga, to help mop up the rest of his team in there, keeping the rest of my army back a bit for the end of the battle, so I don't overcrowd the room and accidentally sacrifice an important unit. I feel I might be overusing Barts just a tad, as he grows to Level 8, but then he rewards me with a Levelle Moste Greate, gaining power, skill, luck, defense, and HP. Slow-ass Doga also finally catches up to a single enemy and crawls to Level 4, gaining skill, wpnlvl, and HP in the process. This has always been my biggest trouble with armor units in these games: they are so goddamn slow that it's a huge chore to get them to fight properly with the rest of your army.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%"> Aaaaand nothing really spectacular happens in the boss room, we just sort of launch right in and... win. Kain gains another level, along with skill, wpnlvl, and HP. Wendel reaches Level 3 and gains the same. And Marich crits the boss for 21 damage, also reaches Level 3, and gains wpnlvl, speed, and HP, along with a new set of lockpicks for Julian (because he DEFINITELY wore out his old set on this map... *rolls eyes*). Marth seizes the throne, and gets congratulated by Princess Nina from Akaneia, which is apparently a kingdom that “protects the world” but has been usurped by Durhua, from whom we must liberate the world. She gives Marth the  Fire Emblem, the symbol of a champion that's given to who will save the world (their grammar, not mine), and apparently gives him the ability to open treasures. Rendering Julian less useful. Oh well.

NEXT TIME, in Chapter 7 of FIRE EMBLEM: DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT... we take on a very narrow north-south map with Dragon Knights...ooooooOOOOOoooooohhhh....

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%">CHAPTER 7: LEFCANDY TRAP

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">I am not going to let the fact that nobody's interested in my write-ups stop me! I'm having fun with this game, dammit, so I'm going to f***ing update.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Ah! We're introduced to another princess! Good for War, another character he'll actually be able to use. Because she doesn't agree with the eeeeevil general's plan, so logically we have to be able to recruit her. She's being bribed with her sister's safety...hmmm, I wonder who in my party could be sister to a princess. Well, according to the house I visit, not Sheeda, because Minerva and her sister are Princesses of Macedonia, not, uh, whatever Sheeda is princess of. *scrolls up to the write-up for Chapter One* Talis. That's right.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">All right, so what we've got here is a very long, narrow north-south map with a village right next to us behind a locked gate, and lots of Pegasi, armor knights, and a couple of dragons at the very southern end where the castle is. I've brought exactly the same group as last mission, all of whom are now Level 3-plus, so I'm definitely starting to figure out who my core group of guys is. Hopefully the ones I've ended up with so far are halfway decent, and I'm not missing out on, like, the best growths in the game by not using, say, Gordon, Daros, Saji or Maji. That would be the group from which I would add units if it were an option.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Anyway, despite my rather disadvantageous starting location, I dispatch the group behind the locked door with little hassle, getting Kashim a level-up to 5 in the process (skill, wpnlvl, and HP). And within a short amount of time, Minerva gets fed up and leads three of the Pegasus Knights – Paola, Est, and Katua – off the map entirely. Hopefully I didn't somehow ruin my chance at hiring them on, but I don't see a way that I could have (once again, without using Warp, I suppose, which I'm not quite ready to use just yet).

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">And then the remaining dragon knight murders Marth. I had no inkling that a dragon knight could do 10 damage in a single hit after taking zero damage. Jesus Christ.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">'''CHAPTER 7: LEFCANDY TRAP Take, Uh, Four'''

All right. You can't blame that first take on me sucking. Dragon knights are not supposed to be promoted units that do massive damage. I played FE7. Dragon knights are supposed to completely suck UNTIL they promote to Wyvern Lords. You can't blame that one on me. I'm apparently just going to have to develop a different strategy for dealing with them. Like maybe blasting it with magic. Yeah, that would probably work. Or, considering they're upgraded Pegasus Knights, Kashim could probably destroy them too. I'll keep my options open.

The undocumented second and third takes, however, you CAN blame on me being bad. Mostly because I'm terrible at moving Marich to where he can actually hit things one turn and not get completely destroyed on the next turn. It doesn't help that, considering most of the enemy is flying in this first portion of the map, dealing with another chokepoint is a real b****. And I'm entirely unwilling to lose Marich at this point. I've been over how much I love magic-users.

This time around, though, I develop the strategy of “not having Julian open the locked door on the first turn when nobody except Marich can reach the other side.” Not having developed this strategy beforehand is probably what caused him to die twice. See, I'm all right with strategy, but I have to think about it first, whereas when I'm playing video games, the things I do aren't so much premeditated as they are “developing strategy through trial and error.” This is why I was never good at StarCraft.

Abel levels up to 5 on one of the archers, getting himself additional power, wpnlvl, speed, luck, and defense (damn, Abel), and Kashim repeats his (or hers? I honestly think Kashim looks like a dude, but I have him/her as a female when s/he joined, so forgive me) and merely gains speed and HP. And as most of my troops crowd around the village, bracing for impact with Pegasus Knights and that goddamned dragon, Doga slowly trundles around the side so that he can actually do his job for once and be far enough forward to tank. I have to thank the developers profusely that Minerva, Paola, Est, and Katua all desert, or this part would be impossible instead of merely irritating.

The rather surprising news this time is that the dragon knight peels off to the west and attacks Doga, instead of going for one of my social knights, who are acting as a wall to protect Marth from danger. The unfortunate part about this is that even Doga's armor isn't enough to ward off six damage a hit... the much more fortunate part is that I brought Wendel and Rena with Doga just in case something like this happened, and the dragon knight gets blasted a good bit and Doga is cured of all ailments. And even Doga is faster than the dragon knight, getting two hits...which doesn't matter, because he doesn't do any damage. I need better equipment on that man.

In the village that caused me so much trouble to get to, a creepy old hooded man asks me if I've seen a girl named Chiki, the “solo” survivor of the Narga family. Apparently she's capable of defeating the Mamkutes, which, judging from information from a couple of chapters ago, would be a very useful thing. And...he joins our party. HE'S A MAMKUTE, OMG. His name is Banutu, but he lost his fire stone, so he can't fight. I find myself suddenly remembering a stone-like thing called “Fire” I got two chapters ago that I assumed was a spell for Marich, left in storage, and forgot about. Julian retrieves said stone posthaste. Consider me very excited to try it out.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Then the wounded dragon knight retreats. Dammit. No giant experience bump for me. If only I'd sent Kashim to escort Doga instead. But at least it would seem like the most difficult part of the map is done. It's times like this that I wish you could escort other units in this game (either that or I wish I could just have Bellsprout use Cut), because it does take me several turns, as it stands, to get my army into a decent location to advance, but I do eventually manage.

Ah, look. There's a Grunia thief sitting there not doing anything. Let's try out our new Mamkute.

…


 * turns into giant dragon creature*
 * crits for 42 damage*

…

Banutu is my new hero. And his weapon doesn't even look like it breaks, ever. I sincerely hope he gets halfway decent growths because that was an awesome first use of this guy.

And the armor knights down south guarding the boss really aren't a problem either. With my magic-users and Kain with his armorslayer leading the charge, we take their s*** down with no problems. I am going to need to be able to buy some new spellbooks soon, though, because Wendel's running out of Thunder and I don't want to use too much of Marich's Excalibur because it seems like a special weapon, considering how powerful it is and the context under which it is introduced.

Fun fact: every single second attack Wendel has attempted on this map has been dodged. We're talking, like, four or five times in a row. It's very strange. Doesn't matter all that much because General Hermine gets taken out in record time by Marich, who crits him for 21 damage on his second hit, and gains 62 XP, Level 4, a silver sword ('sup, Marth), and +wpnlvl and HP. Marth seizes the castle (flipping finally), and an old man tells us   The Tale of the Mamkute Tribe.

The Tale of the Mamkute Tribe Transcribed mostly for the benefit of my own limited capacity for memory.

''A long time ago, the Mamkutes lived in Durhua in three groups: the Divine Dragon Tribe Narga, the Demon Dragon tribe Bajilisk and the Fire Dragon tribe Salamander. The Narga tribe was the strongest and defended humanity when the others attacked it. Mamkutes are able to seal their dragon forms inside Dragon Stones and appear human.

There was an age of peace, then the Earth Dragon Mediuth appeared. He used his tremendous power to defeat the Narga tribe and established Durhua. He invaded the lands owned by humans and took over the world. Suddenly a youth named Anri set out to defeat Mediuth, wielding a shining blade named Falchion. Eventually, Mediuth was defeated by Anri. Then Anri established Aritia. 100 years later, Mediuth revived.

Sire! You're the chosen one, direct descent of Anri. You must defeat Mediuth!''

Sounds like a plan, and we've got ourselves a plot! Finally! Marth and company will now set out to pursue the eeeeeevil Earth Dragon Mediuth and obtain the legendary Falchion... NEXT TIME, in Chapter 8 of FIRE EMBLEM: DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">CHAPTER EIGHT: PORT WARREN

NOTE: There were so many damn level-ups in this write-up that I just removed them in favor of just listing the at the end so the write-up would flow a little better.

I'm allowed one fewer party member this time, so I definitely don't have room to take Banutu (thanks for the warnings about him; I actually would have used him, at least for a bit). I also end up dropping Navarre from the party after about a millisecond of consideration. Everybody else has just been too specifically valuable. I do notice that I'm extremely sword-user heavy, though, and vow to get some more lances to pass around to my social knights.

But why, pray tell, are we allowed fewer units? Why is this? (Was Herod unimpressed?) Well, turns out we start the mission with a couple of new mercenaries to take Navarre's place, who are sitting by a giant glob of shops. They're there to protect Warren (ostensibly where we currently are), but they're surrounded by the Grunian army. Their names: Caesar (Level 3) and Raddy (Level 1). I'm willing to entertain the notion that one of them could be more valuable to me in the future than Navarre.

Now, here's where it gets really tricky. My first strategy was to make some necessary purchases in the giant mass of shops with Raddy, Caesar, and Hardin, who start more near them, and then to proceed cautiously-yet-aggressively. That didn't really work, so after a couple tries of that, I then tried just huddling in a defensive position right where everybody starts out. That worked better, but still not as well as I would have liked. So at this point, my strategy is to send everybody in a giant formation down into that area with the shops, putting all of my best defensive units in front (with Doga at the entrance) and my strong ranged units in back.

Incidentally, through all of this, I'm quite glad Roger is recruitable by Sheeda, because no matter how everything ends up he's really only readily recruitable by air, this map becomes such a mess of units. We've got social knights, armor knights, archers, and horsemen all charging very aggressively at us no matter what I do, without a care for damage to their own units, which is why my strategy has gotten progressively so defense-oriented. (Coming from a Seahawks fan, I suppose I'm biased towards defense anyway...sorry, I'm watching the victory parade on TV and I'm a little preoccupied, had to get a reference to the home team in somehow).

Anyway, Sheeda introduces herself to Roger and asks out of nowhere if he believes in love (reminds me of that scene in The Room... you know which one), makes some weird non-sequitur comments about how women and children cry, and Roger is convinced to betray Grunia because there “are no girls like her” there. It's all a very strange conversation, but hey, we get a new armor knight out of it! And he's Level 5, with generally better stats than Doga! Other than his pitiful skill ranking, that is. Still might use him.

In any case, from the new super-defensive position, everything goes according to plan (for once). Overall, compared to previous strategies, even though the level-ups aren't QUITE as good as they have been at times, things have gone quite well.

Remaining in the north side of the map, we've got four social knights and a horseman, which shouldn't be much of a problem, and a L10 boss armor knight named Canaris wielding a silver lance. However, as my troops start moving forward, that's when the reinforcements start spontaneously SWARMING out of those fortresses, which I didn't know they could do. Two armor knights a turn from the middle, and then horsemen and social knights start appearing in the northwest.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">This is all extremely nerve-racking in context, as the reinforcements keep pouring out and I don't know how long I have to be able to last. I can't even imagine how War's going to deal with this chapter. The big “break” is that the horsemen suck and can only do 2 or 3 damage apiece to even the squishiest of units (although Sheeda can't really do anything as long as they're around), but between them, the social knights, and the armor knights, they really can wear you down pretty quickly, even if they are all low-level units. Part of what makes Fire Emblem games so simultaneously fun and infuriating, I suppose.

Fortunately, by moving slowly forward and walling in any units that happen to be hurt with defensive units that aren't hurt at the moment, Rena is able to keep our army alive and intact (and I very much wish I'd ever thought to bring that other extra cleric... either that, or it would be nice for Rena to gain some f***ing experience from healing people). And at this point, it's looking like we've dealt with enough guys that we can just sit around here and heal for a bit, as the reinforcements have slowed (since we've dealt with the first few waves faster than they spawned).

FINALLY, at some point, the social knights and horsemen at least stop coming and a group of them just sort of camps their own spawn point. We still have legions of armor knights to take care of, but I'm able to keep them pretty well at bay with my stronger units. Particularly Barts, who is really just turning into the hero of this game. That's all there is to it. He's reminding me of Hector. That's how much he's kicking ass. Although I'm probably going to regret how many charges of some pretty good weapons I used in this mission down the line (and I'm not just talking about Barts' steel axe), right now, it's worth it.

As Barts single-handedly holds the enemy armor knights at bay (more on that later), I do manage to sneak a small force consisting of Kain, Hardin, Marich, Wendel, Raddy (don't ask me why, I didn't use him at all), and, of course, Marth and Sheeda, over to where the boss is sitting. Being who they are, they completely flatten him. In fact, I should clarify. Hardin flattens him. He attacks first and gets a critical hit, and nobody else even gets the opportunity to attack Canaris. He just dies and Hardin gets all the experience, and his silver lance. Marth seizes the castle, and this absolute nightmare of a chapter is over once and for all.

Green Man (http://www.blogcdn.com/www.aoltv.com/media/2009/10/sunnycostume200-100209.jpg) then pops up, and tells us it's “dangerous to continue this way” (no f***ing s***). Apparently (I'm using that word a lot in the exposition sections of the game...) we have to escape to Peraty, but the King, Manuu, might be a Mamkute. No word yet on whether this is good or bad news – but even if it's good news apparently he's just going to sit around, tank hits, and never get any better at anything he does. Thanks, Banutu.


 * saves*
 * breathes HUGE sigh of relief*

The next chapter can't POSSIBLY be this bad, can it?

Stats Gained Ordered from least improved to most improved

Wendel: +1 Level, +skill, +HP Oguma: +1 Level, +wpnlvl, +HP Doga: +1 Level, +skill, +wpnlvl, +HP Sheeda: +1 Level, +power, +speed, +luck, +wpnlvl Hardin: +2 Level, +2 skill, +wpnlvl, +HP, +power Marich: +2 Level, +2 speed, +2 wpnlvl, +luck, +HP, +defense Marth: +2 Level, +2 luck, +2 HP, +power, +skill, +speed, +HP Kain: +3 Level, +3 skill, +3 HP, +2 wpnlvl, +2 speed Barts: +4 Level(!!!), +3 HP, +2 power, +2 speed, +2 luck, +2 skill, +defense, +wpnlvl

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%">CHAPTER NINE: PERATY DRAGON

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">No sooner do we set foot on Peraty than we are told to burn and become sacrifices to the Salamander Tribe. Well, this is off to a good start.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">The Peraty map is a rather large archipelago with several locked doors and chests, on which Julian will be most useful. The main enemy types seem to be pirates, but there ARE a handful of thieves which will probably make getting some of the loot a race against the clock again. Goody.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">One of the pirates, though, is heading straight for the village way in the northeast corner, and he's far closer to it than Marth is, so on a whim (seeing as they can yield very good loot) I decide to make use of Rena's Warp staff for the first time and get him there first. This action yields the party George: Sniper of Akaneia, recent escapee of Durhua. And I gotta say: snipers look way cool on the battlefield. Seeing as Gordon didn't really stick in the party for whatever reason, I could see myself using George as a second bow-wielder – once again, though, this is partially dependent on growths.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Fighting, fighting, fighting HOLY **** THAT PIRATE JUST DID 20 DAMAGE TO MARTH. WHY THE **** IS THAT POSSIBLE.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">...*ahem*

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">So that didn't happen. Like, that's just silly. I thought the Devil axe was supposed to take away some of the user's health, not do 20 HP of damage at absolutely no cost. That's completely stupid. I mean, I guess that's probably part of why they're giving you a free sniper with a silver bow so soon and so close to where this guy is, but come on. Don't just lie to me about what an item does. That's not difficulty, that's just dishonesty.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Anyway, the good news on this map is that a...lady? man? is this where we use the term genderqueer? ….Whatever, a person in a house on the northern tip of the peninsula helpfully lets us know that the chest in the... castle? that's what you're calling it? to the east contains a dragonslayer, which will be very helpful in disposing of Manuu, the rumored Mamkute from last chapter who serves as this chapter's boss.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">The brunt of our forces makes their way to the northern “castle,” which contains 15,000G and a Goddess Icon (!!!) in two chests. As has become kind of a pattern (it happened in the last chapter, too, I just eliminated it from the write-up), Oguma is the first to level up (to 7), gaining wpnlvl and HP. Honestly, his growths aren't all that good, but he's been such an all-around solid fighter anyway that I feel the need to keep him around. I'm certainly still very grateful he was RNG-ed into my party a few chapters back. And on the eastern side of the map, by progressing just warily enough, Wendel and George are able to take out the Devil axeman with no trouble.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Navarre reaches Level 5, gains only speed and HP, and convinces me that I probably should ditch him for Caesar or something. I didn't take Caesar along this time, electing to add Roger to my party instead, but suffice to say that on the next mission I'll have myself a couple of different options regarding party composition and characters I'm willing to use. In the meantime, I fly Sheeda over to the eastern “castle” with a door key, so I can camp the chest that contains the dragonslayer until Julian's free to make his way over there (maybe I should have brought that other thief Ricardo along instead of Doga). It's going to take him awhile, so hopefully there aren't any reinforcements on this map...

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">The not-bad parts about this are that the thieves on the map aren't moving anyway, for whatever reason, so I'm easily able to secure that castle and block them from stealing anything if they ever do decide to move. And Marth's far from where he needs to be to seize the castle from the Mamkute anyway. On the other side of the map, Kashim takes out the pirate guarding Manuu and gets to Level 7, gaining power and defense (some really s***ty level-ups this time around...). Roger also participates, reaching Level 6 and getting our first halfway decent level-up: power, wpnlvl, luck, and HP! Huzzah for Roger!, he's a keeper. Then Kain reaches Level 9, with skill, wpnlvl, and HP. Poor Abel. Hasn't gained a level in chapters, and it's not like he's not around. Although then he finally does reach Level 7, gaining exactly the same things as Kain did. Bros till the end. To round it all out, power, skill, luck, and defense go to Marth, also hitting Level 7.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">And then we have many, many turns of Julian running around the map trying to get to the treasure chest. When he finally does, I have Kain pick up the sword and ferry it over. (I sincerely hope this game doesn't judge you on the amount of turns you take in the overall game, because these last two chapters would absolutely murder my score.) Pirates start spawning like crazy for awhile, while this happens, but my units are good enough that we're able to murder them all and leech some pretty crazy experience off of them. Eventually they do manage to subside.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">In this time Kain reaches Level 11 (2 wpnlvl, skill, speed, 2 HP), Rena reaches Level 4 (wpnlvl), Wendel reaches Level 5 (wpnlvl, luck), Marich reaches Level 7 (skill, wpnlvl, HP), Marth reaches Level 8 (power, skill, wpnlvl, luck, HP), Abel reaches Level 8 (power, luck, defense), Sheeda reaches Level 6 (skill, wpnlvl, speed, HP), Barts reaches Level 13 (power, luck, defense), and George (despite some... issues with aim) reaches Level 2 (skill...it may only be one thing but at least it's the thing he so desperately needs).

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">FINALLY (this sword better have been worth it... even though I can't be too mad because of, again, the crazy amount of XP I was able to get off those pirates), Kain makes it to Manuu with dragonslayer in hand. One hit is worth 11 damage, but he missed the second time and got hit with 9 HP of damage from the Mamkute. Honestly, I'm scared to even TRY to attack Manuu with anybody else, so I just hit “end turn” and let Kain tank another hit from Manuu before taking him out. Kain gets 54 XP, yet another level, and a door key for his efforts, and with Level 12 he receives power, skill, luck, and defense. Marth seizes yet another castle, and there we have it, indeed a much easier – though no less painstakingly long – chapter than the one before it.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Story time! Macedonian White Knight Katua (hey... I recognize that name...) asks us for our help. Princess Minerva's regiment (HEY I RECOGNIZE THAT NAME TOO) plans to rebel against Durhua, but Minerva's little sister Maria has been captured (AND I REMEMBER THEM TALKING ABOUT THAT). Looks like I'm getting a ton of Pegasus Knights!... NEXT TIME, in Chapter 10 of FIRE EMBLEM: DARK DRAGON AND THE SWORD OF LIGHT.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Yay, we've finally broken double-digits!

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%">CHAPTER TEN: SIRE MINERVA

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">I think this game has gotten a little confused about its genders.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Anyway, now we're at Deal Prison to rescue Maria. Apparently we DON'T have Katua with us just yet, because we have to fulfill her wish to free Maria first. Sad, considering how good Pegasus Knights seem to be in this game, but fair enough. Honestly, looking at this map, it doesn't look like it's going to be too difficult – there certainly aren't that many enemies on it right now, even though there are a number of promoted units that could be a bother when we get to them.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">I do have to sprint forward as quickly as possible with my horses and Sheeda in order to stop a level 7 thief from stealing all of my goodies inside the prison, but I do manage to stop him, netting Sheeda level 7, skill, wpnlvl, and HP. Hardin follows up shortly with Level 10, wpnlvl, speed, and luck. Some Dragon Knights and Pegasi try and flank my starting position, but considering I left all of my ranged units back to deal with them and Roger to tank some of the damage, it makes little matter, and we get lots of experience. George even reaches level 3, gaining luck, and Kashim level 8, gaining power, skill, and HP.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Then I have a “duhhhh” moment when I realize the Dragon Knight sitting around NOT attacking anybody is Minerva. First I try recruiting her with Sheeda – which doesn't work. More on that front later, I guess, because Marth will take a couple turns to get around to where she decided to camp. Meanwhile, after a bit, Julian gets in to the chests we saved from the enemy, obtaining us a Reblow staff (still have no idea what that does... *looks it up*... oh, it's Physic! Cool), along with a, erm, “Thunder Sword.” Neat.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Then the Sniper, whom I have so carefully, painstakingly lured out of his corner, because he's been so goddamn difficult to take care of in anything resembling a decent fashion, considering he's blocked off by two archers...yeah, the Sniper crits Abel for 24 damage and Abel dies. F*** it. I'm living with it. This guy has been such a pain in the ass in this chapter, I did everything right, and he still gets a crit. He wasn't doing all that much recently anyway and all of Kain's stats have grown better – I guess Hardin just counts as his permanent replacement.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Nope. Even though Minerva flies over and lands directly next to Marth, the next turn, I am unable to talk to her with him. I'm kind of out of ideas...doesn't it seem like those two would be the ones who would be able to recruit her?

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Barts is doing some serious damage with his new Hammer, for what it's worth. He's got 30 HP and he's doing 28 damage per turn against most enemies. I just felt he deserved his own paragraph. I love Barts. Barts is my favorite.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">And it's so weeeeeeiiiiird Minerva keeps setting down right next to Marth. I don't know. Maybe that's just to keep her around until Maria can recruit her or something. That's my official guess. She is right over there. All I need is a door key. And probably Marth. F***, Marth is outside the jail because he's been trying to recruit f***ing Minerva. Things fall apart. The center does not hold. A man named YEETS said that.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">One thing I've neglected to mention is that I've been moving my units this whole game as if there are supports. I'm almost positive there are no supports (I mean, it's an NES game; I'm shocked there's saving at all in the conventional sense of the word), but I figure that if I get into the habit now, whenever the hell they do show up I'll be ready to make all the logical supports happen, with how well I've been faux-doing at it in this game. The first time I played Fire Emblem I had no idea supports even exist because with all its tutorials it doesn't mention it fracking once. Asshats.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Also these pillars in the jail take forever to get past. So many turns wasted getting my army back together again. Roger is left behind in the dust. But I finally manage to get Marth talking to Maria, and we recruit her, anyway. In fact, she even tells us that NOW we can talk to Minerva and tell her her sister's safe. Heeeeeeading back.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">The Hero lying in wait is nowhere near as nasty as the Sniper was, and I take him out with no trouble (since I'm not leading with Roger, and he's wielding an armorslayer, he's doing s*** for damage). Wendel reaches level 6 on the kill, gaining wpnlvl, speed, and HP, and an item called “Hero” that I THINK will promote a Mercenary into a Hero past Level 10 (normally, I am well aware, advised for Level 20 usage). Sadly the only one I'm using is nowhere near there, but we can put it in storage until we need it.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">NOPE. CAN'T RECRUIT MINERVA. WTF. NOT EVEN WITH MARIA. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Oh. Tons of reinforcements that will never get to me because they start literally where I did. Hi.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Kain reaches Level 13, gaining wpnlvl, speed, luck, and HP. For you, buddy Abel. I murdered their only doctor for you.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">I think we entered the Stream of Consciousness Zone somewhere back there.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Oh. Minerva's will only join up if she can recruit herself. Must be a Democrat.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Quest time! Minerva wants to kill her brother Mischeil, who joined up with Durhua. I'm willing to help make that happen. I'm psyched to have a Dragon Knight.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">The Thunder Blade can pierce heavy armors!

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Archbishop Miroa, Darkness King Garnef and legendary Archsage Gato are important somehow! (Even though the Archbishop is dead. Apparently Miroa died after battling Garnef.)

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">ZHUKOV is an awesome name for an evil General.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">How sad for him that Barts is literally capable of doing 36 damage to him in one turn. Seriously, I f***ing LOVE Barts. He has stolen my heart. Along with a Speed booster. And level 14. With which he gains power, skill, wpnlvl, luck, defense, AND HP. Holy-hot-god-damn.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%">PREVIOUSLY ON KBM'S ADVENTURES IN FIRE EMBLEM:

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 * <p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Barts does 36 damage to boss Generals and generally carries the party wherever he goes.
 * <p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Biraku, Wolf, and Abel have sacrified their lives for the cause.
 * <p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">I do not remember exactly what is going on in the plot.
 * <p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Here is the party:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;"> <p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Marth, a Level 8 Lord

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Kain, a Level 13 Social Knight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Hardin, a Level 10 Social Knight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Sheeda, a Level 7 Pegasus Knight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Barts, a Level 14 Fighter

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Oguma, a Level 7 Mercenary

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Kashim, a Level 8 Hunter

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Julian, a Level 4 Thief

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Marich, a Level 7 Magician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Wendel, a Level 6 Priest

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Rena, a Level 4 Cleric

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Roger, a Level 6 Armor Knight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">George, a Level 3 Sniper

<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Minerva, a Level 1 Dragon Knight

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">With the death of Abel, I have decided to immediately include Minerva in our endeavors, instead of attempting to train up someone we previously used like Gordon or Daros, or (more often) Doga or Navarre. The latter two have been outlasted in their usefulness by Roger and Oguma respectively, and the former two I always kind of wanted to use, but a combination of not having enough room and Oguma winning the RNG battle made that not happen.

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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;line-height:100%;">Now that I have all that in order, time to actually start Chapter 11.

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The Others' Write-Ups
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