The FINAL Zelda Timeline

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The FINAL Zelda Timeline
You can't hide the truth forever. I've done extensive research on the Zelda series, and what follows is my opinion on the order of the Zelda games and the events that lie in between. However, once typed out and posted, my opinion immediately becomes factual, making this yet another factual Zelda timeline, indisputable and iron-clad. Spoilers? Indeed.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA
Where it all began. The world was in peril from the dark prince Ganon, who had also kidnapped Princess Zelda. In order to combat this, in a dark cave on a desolate beach, Link is spliced together from the genes of the Old Man, a Moblin, Triple H, a chicken, a waffle (Belgian of course), and Jenova... and is therefore born as the most ultimate hero that was EVER created -- The Hero of Time. The Old Man gives Link a stick he calls a sword and tells Link to go and kill Ganon without any further instruction. Link feels the call to arms and leaves immediately, but gets the crap get kicked out of him for quite a while until he finally ditches the stick for a better upgrade, one made of actual metal. When he tries to make the Old Man pay for giving him a ****ing stick to save the world with, Link gets fireballed to hell while the Old Man simply tells him to stop being such a pansy and to just "Save the God Damn World!" While this verbal abuse hurts Link emotionally on the inside (not even mentioning the physical abuse from the fireballs), he sucks up his pride and goes off to save the world for the greater good. 8 Dungeons later, Link is able to get the Triforce pieces, and face off with Ganon. Link goes into badass mode, whipping out a silver arrow and destroying Ganon, who he burns into a pile of ashes. He assembles two Triforces, saves the princess, and the world all in one fantastic motion. Yay! Link is instantly catapulted into worldwide fame and fortune, with almost everyone in the world knowing his name and face. Link was by all accounts, the very definition of the word "hero." All was well, so this is the end, right? Not so simply.

SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE
After saving the world, all Link wanted to do was go on vacation, but apparently there had been a 'No Vacation' clause hidden in his heroic contract by The Old Man, making Link a very sad panda. All work and no play would certainly make Link a dull boy. While talking to Mario about this travesty one day over tea, Link learned that Mario was about to take a very expensive tour of the exotic Delfino Island. So Link did what any desperate vacation starved hero would do... He knocked Mario out with the hilt of his sword, duct taped him to a chair, and stole his clothes. After raping Mario of his pride, Link donned Mario's signature red suit and a fake mustache and pretended to be Mario. He flew in a very spiffy jet (giving Peach a permanent membership to the 'Mile High Club' along the way), to his dream vacation spot on a very tropical island. No Vacation clause my ass. However, upon landing, Link gets thrown in jail for crimes that Mario... er, HE... did not commit. Link swears to himself that he will not allow Mario's good name to get dragged through the mud, so he goes on a crusade of Holy Water Vengeance. After extensive work to clear Mario's name, Link defeats Bowser and Bowser Jr., and thereby clears Mario of any wrongdoing. In the final battle though, the glue on Link's mustache wore off, revealing his true self. After finding out that Mario was actually Link, Princess Peach is more then just a little angry (doubly so because of the whole Mile High Club thing). She and Toad angrily forced Link off of Delfino Island in a very unstable boat in questionable weather which led to...

LINK'S AWAKENING
Link's boat getting smashed in a very violent storm. After drifting for a while, he ended up on Koholint Island with a very demented Wind Fish. Apparently Koholint Island was a party island [No Vacation Clause my ass], but Link just didn't feel comfortable around the Wind Fish for some reason... He gave him a bad vibe... However a few drinks and a couple of instruments later, Link found out that the Wind Fish wasn't really such a bad guy... even though he wanted both of them to 'wake up at the same time'... Whatever that meant... So, after three raves and a kegger, Link falls asleep [Read: Passes Out] on the beach, and into the mischievous fins of the Wind Fish. When Link wakes up, the island is gone, he has a killer hangover, and he is floating on a smashed piece of his boat feeling used... VERY used...

SUPER SMASH BROS
In an attempt to regain his manhood after been violated by the Wind Fish, Link entered a tournament of Nintendo's finest. Just his luck though, his bracket included Luigi. Being the brother of Mario, Luigi held just a big of a grudge against Link as Mario did. It was a grueling match, but Link was able to persevere with a well placed sword shot to the gut. Sadly, he was eliminated in the Finals by Mario, who was still real upset about the whole "duct taping him to a chair, stealing his clothes, taking advantage of his woman, and riding his plane to Delfino" thing. Link was just unable to catch any breaks since saving the world, and had become emotionally shattered because of it. It looked as if he would never reclaim the glory he once held... Ashamed at the extensive beatings he had been constantly taking, and at the way people looked down on him, Link decided to go into a voluntary exile from his once faithful homeland...

RESIDENT EVIL 0
Link decided to forget about Hyrule and all of his problems, ditch his name... and move to the U.S. where he joined the Navy under the name of Billy Coen... Plus he got a nifty Tattoo, to give him more of a 'badass' look. However, a mission of his went terribly wrong and several members of his unit were killed. He was wrongly charged with murder, but was found guilty anyway and sentenced to death. This was the second time Link had gotten nailed for crimes he hadn't committed. On his way to execution though, his MP transport was attacked by some undead creatures and his captors were killed. He escaped to a train, where he met up with STARS member Rebecca Chambers. After uncovering an Umbrella plot, and destroying the reincarnation of James Marcus, Rebecca left Link to go meet her team at the Spencer Mansion. Escaping death yet again, Link was beginning to wonder if he served a greater purpose in life... He pondered many questions that day, but came to no clear answers. However, he did figure that it would be best to get out of the U.S., so Link returned to Hyrule (where extradition laws didn't apply), and got that damned tattoo removed. However, he still had no driving purpose for his life and was still looked upon as a fallen hero. Because of all this he quickly fell into drugs to get him through the days...

MAJORA'S MASK
On a very serious acid trip, Link SERIOUSLY thought that Hyrule has turned into some place named Termina, and that the moon was going fall out of the sky and destroy the planet. Link THOUGHT he was saving the world again and would therefore reclaim some of the former glory he had once had a stranglehold on. But instead he just ended up destroying Skull Kid's Halloween Costume, as well as leveling several government buildings... Poor Skull kid... Poor Hyrule... Link was finally arrested by the combined force of seventeen Hyrulian Guards, who found it near impossible to restrain the hopped-up Link. He was put to trial the next day, and was found guilty on all accounts. His sentence for malicious destruction of property and extreme drug use was to spend one year in exile from Hyrule, where he would hopefully be able to turn his life around...

SOUL CALIBUR II
With nothing to do for year, Link decided to search out a rumor that he had overheard in the marketplace one day, for the legendary Hero's Blade... The Soul Edge. He figured that if he was ever going to become a hero again and straighten out his life, he was going to have to wield this sword. Link dedicated his entire self worth to finding this blade, going through countless opponents along the way. He faced off against a rather unruly Englishman by the name of Raphael in a destined battle over the sword, and almost lost his life in the process. However, with Link's superior training, he defeated the fool... And came face to face with Inferno... This monstrosity was tough, so tough in fact that Link again came within an inch of his. But in the end, Link called forth all of his untapped heroic power, and vanquished the beast in a rage of glory. After doing so, the Legendary Soul Edge finally lay at his feet. Link happily took the sword, but was quickly disgusted with what he discovered. In reality the Soul Edge was not the sword of heroes that he had heard of, but instead it was evil to the core, and needed to be destroyed in order to purge the world of its hellish power... Though the sword seemed to fight his will momentarily, Link tossed the demon sword into a bottomless pit, effectively saving the world once again... Though no one was around to see his deed, Link felt at ease again, felt vindicated for his "Majora's Mask" incident. Little did he know, but the power of the Soul Edge had infested his body in those final seconds before being destroyed, and was already beginning to course through his veins... Unaware of his curse, Link trained hard for the rest of his year in exile, got off of drugs, and then returned to his beautiful land of Hyrule...

GAMEFAQS SC2K2
Hearing about a tournament of 64 of the world's most revered legends, Link was surprised that his name was even on the ballot after having been out of the world spotlight for a year. He didn't think that he would be remembered for his great deeds of the past, but was eager to reestablish himself nonetheless. A new man, Link took up the offer to compete in the tournament, hoping for the best. In the Semi-Finals, Link faced off against a man named Sephiroth... He had never met him before, but he felt almost as if he knew him already... As Link plunged his sword into the back of Sephiroth, Link was shocked to see Sephiroth smile... He told Link to meet him at the 'Reunion.' WTF?! More than a little shaken by this, Link didn't even realize that he would be squaring off against his old rival, Mario in the finals. In the epic battle, Link destroyed his old friend turned nemesis, and finally vindicated his loss from the SSB tournament. Mario left the contest disgusted at his loss, and vowing vengeance on another day, but Link was too absorbed in his victory to even notice, or even care. Upon winning the tournament, Link was catapulted back into the spotlight, and to new heights of popularity and fame as the Champion of Champions. He had finally reclaimed all that he had lost.

OCARINA OF TIME
After the initial wave of popularity came down again, Link decided to head home for a while to kick back for a while. Upon his return to Kokiri Forest however, the Great Deku Tree tells Link that his time had come, and that he had to step up to his destiny and become a hero again... All Link could think of was, "What I haven't done enough already?" Riding the high of his tournament win though, Link smugly took on the challenge, especially after learning that Ganon was back for another round. Through his arrogance and ineptitude about the whole situation, Link accidentally gets the Deku Tree killed and enables his old nemesis Ganondorf to get his hands on the Triforce, all while managing to get frozen in time when he picks up the Master Sword from its resting place. Upon finally waking up, Link is seven years older and mighty pissed. Needless to say, everyone still wanted him to save the world, especially since the whole world went to complete hell in his absence. Link was beginning to think that this whole hero thing was all too much for him. But right when he was about to give it all up, Link received a vision from the Old Man, who told him to keep going and to "Just suck it up and save the world again!" For some reason Link couldn't quite put his finger on, something inside of him just didn't want to let the Old Man down, so he fought on harder than ever before. With the help of some sages, and future Zelda, Link is successful in ridding the land of Hyrule from Ganon once more. They managed to seal him away nice and tight in the Sacred Dimension, bringing the world back to a very peaceful state. Future Zelda says thanks for Link's help but adds that he didn't belong in that time, so she gives Link a swift kick in the rear, sending him back to his own time without so much as a second glance... Landing back in his younger body, Link was kind of ticked off that he didn't get to spend some more time in the future, but quickly shrugged it off. After such a world saving event that topped even his original efforts, Link was riding higher than ever before and was finally living the heroic life he had been striving to reclaim.

SUPER SMASH BROTHERS MELEE
In the short timeframe after OoT, Link somehow managed to harness the power of bringing things from the future to the past, in his belt [Read: Yes, his Belt], and entered the second Super Smash tournament... Twice- Once as Young Link and once as Adult Link. It was a clever idea to double-up on his popularity and have two chances to upend Mario and give his former friend turned nemesis an early exit. In a fast paced match, Adult Link defeated Mario in the semi-finals, reclaiming some of his shame and avenging his loss from the first tournament. On the other side of the bracket, Young Link defeated Pichu in his semi-final match (wow, what an accomplishment) to the shock of no one. In the finals, Young and Adult Link battled it out in a grueling 1 1/2 hour match, finally ending with Young Link coming out on top from a final blade drive to the skull of Adult Link. Adult Link perished from the blow, and the resulting rift through time effectively nulled Young Link's ability to use his Belt of Time any longer (which was hugely disappointing to Link, who had been planning on starting up a lucrative business of selling DVDs of movies before they could ever be produced). All of the fighting was for nothing however, as a review from the SSB judges ruled that the Link vs. Link final was both unfair and unprofessional under Article 17, subsection D of the Super Smash bylaws which reads: "No Cheating, no clones, no loopholes, Final Destination." Therefore the one surviving Link was stripped of his title and disqualified from the tournament. The two semi-finalists battled for the crown, with Mario coming out on top yet again as the two-time SSB World Champion... and he rubbed it Link's face almost immediately... Link, ashamed again with his heroic image tainted by cheating, left Hyrule once more, which was quickly becoming the only thing he could do on a consistent basis...

ANIMAL CROSSING
In an attempt to just get away from things, Link took with him only his favorite sword and headed out to buy a house in peaceful and quaint land... however he didn't have nearly enough money to pay it off. He is able to get a house, but at a steep price as he is forced to do hard labor in a convenience store by a sly Raccoon, and isn't allowed to leave the area until he paid off his loan... He spent the next four months locked into servitude, his rage festering inside of him the entire time, until finally he had enough cash to pay off the loan to his furry loanshark. As soon as he finishes his loan though, the pent up rage reacts with the dormant power of the Soul Edge and Link simply snaps. Link clenches his sword (now a phantom version of the Soul Edge), and proceeds to slaughter the entire town, finally taking a perverse pleasure in beheading Tom Nook, his former captor. After the midnight genocide, the Soul Edge becomes dormant again, and Link wakes up covered in blood, not exactly sure of what he had done, but aware enough to know that something had gone horribly wrong. He also noticed that his Ocarina of Time, his failsafe incase anything ever went catastrophic, lie broken on ground. There was no going back to fix this mistake now... In an attempt to dodge taking responsibility for his actions, Link quickly gathered up his belongings and left his freshly paid off house in order to return to Hyrule where he knew he belonged...

A LINK TO THE PAST
As Link already figured out, every time he stayed in Hyrule for too long, he was forced to save the world... This time was no exception, but he didn't want to anymore... The hazard pay wasn't good enough, that damned 'No Vacation' clause still pissed him off to this day, and he was being haunted by visions manifested by the Soul Edge fragment inside of him. Couple that with the fact that things always managed to go wrong in the end, and Link simply flat out refused to do it. Just as Link had resolved himself to giving up everything heroic and living a life of solitude, there was a knock at the door. Standing in front of him for the first time in a long time was the man who started it all- The Old Man himself. Speechless at the sight, Link doesn't even argue when the Old man whips him like a Back Alley Dominatrix, and tells him once more to just suck it up and save the God Damn world! (See a reoccurring theme here? Good.) Despite wanting to give it all up, Link couldn't say no to the Old Man, so he yet again saves Zelda, travels between some realms, meets up with some sages, backhands Agahnim for thinking he was a beautiful and unique snowflake, and puts Ganon in his place again, ruining his plans for world domination and effectively saving the world. But after everything was said and done, Link still felt incomplete and mentally anguished, vowing to never, ever do that again... The Old Man, not wanting to make matters any worse at the moment, let Link go and revel in his victory for the time being...

ZELDA II (w/ WAND OF GAMELON, LINK: THE FACES OF EVIL, and ZELDA'S ADVENTURE)
Link, still riding the fame of his adventures in LttP, hid his depression and got back into the party scene. Drugs and alcohol coursed through his veins nearly twenty-four hours a day in order to "numb the pain" as he liked to say. One day though, Link dropped too may tabs of LSD and went on one hell of an acid trip where up was down and nothing was right... The events of this game are just a result of that aforementioned acid trip mixed in with the cocaine and weed that was already in his system... Anything that happened in this game is clearly false, and should just be forgotten. You should probably throw in Wand of Gamelon, Link: The Faces of Evil, and Zelda's Adventure here as well, as they happened intermittently throughout this trip as well ("MAH BOY!" still haunts Link to this day in flashbacks). In the end, Link was found curled up in a ball licking an alley cat and mumbling about how he was "so hungry he could eat and octorok" so he was arrested for excessive drug use and forced by the King of Hyrule into rehab...

ORACLE OF AGES/SEASONS
While in rehab, the group of doctors assigned to Link's case delved into Link's past in an attempt to cure him and restore him back to his former heroic self. The biggest progression was helping Link finally come to the realization that he was a test-tube baby (See Zelda I). From that moment forward, Link strove to clean up his act and was released from rehab just two weeks later. Of course, he instantly took sword in hand and sought out the Old Man for final confirmation on what he had told. When he confronted the Old Man with this news, the Old Man simply laughed and told him everything. "The world desperately needed a hero, and I was too old to do it myself or I would have, trust me." The Old Man grinned, "You did a pretty damn good job (of course you did, I made you...), but damn I didn't expect you to come out so ****ed up in the head. Eh. Win some, lose some. As long as I'm around to give you a boot in the ass every so often, the world will be fine. I mean, you wouldn't want to let your dear ol' dad down, now would you?" Everything finally clicked on why Link could never seem to disobey the Old Man, and why he subconsciously wanted nothing more to impress him, and never to disappoint him. Link didn't take too kindly to all of these revelations, and the festering Soul Edge once again took this opportunity to latch onto Link's raging emotions. This time however Link embraced the evil, and took great pleasure in slaughtering the Old Man for his arrogance with his own two hands... Link finally calmed down and regained his composure, now unsure if he had made the right decision, but feeling sickeningly satisfied nonetheless. If nothing else, the killing of his father brought him to the realization of one thing- that he too wanted children. So (in complete disregard to his own test tube creation, mind you) Link took a few science courses and after a few months, his plans came into reality. He successfully managed to clone himself twice over, and now instead of having to save the world himself, he sent his two "kids" to do both jobs at once. Ha! Brilliant! Quite unexpectedly, they both did a fantastic job, taking out Veran, Onox, Twinrova, even (a heavily gimped) Ganon and manage to save the world without any help from Daddy whatsoever. Their job completed, they went home to Hyrule where they were met with great praise... Except now Link felt utterly useless, and viciously jealous of his sons... So he did the only logical thing... Luring them in with a false sense of security, Link shot Link 2 with a flame arrow through the throat, and stuffed a bomb in Link 3's tunic before he even knew what hit him. So, we once again came back down to our original (albeit heavily disturbed) Link... It was here, through the actions of his "sons," that Link realized that he actually loved saving the world and the attention it brought, vacation or no vacation. And he loved it even more without being goaded on by the Old Man. He finally felt free of his shackles. With a silver tongue, he managed to convince Hyrule that it was he alone who had defeated Ganon (despite there clearly being two Links in the parade), and that he would soon be their faithful protector once more, stealing away all of the glory. But before he could continue on, there was still one grudge from his past that he needed to settle...

LUIGI'S MANSION
In order to lay low from his recent string of murders, and with his new found skills in science, Link fled Hyrule for a while and donned an old man disguise and took the name of E. Gadd, creating a shadow corporation in the process. Link and King Boo made a shaky alliance, and together they manage to kidnap their combined foe of Mario. Before they could continue on though, Luigi showed up to the mansion in search of his brother. In order to keep up his cover, Link gave Luigi a few gadgets that would help him fight off the ghosts [Read: A ****ing Vacuum Cleaner] and shoved him into the mansion to his sure death. To everyone's awe, Luigi actually managed to rescue Mario [Read: With a ****ing Vacuum Cleaner], and Link's ultimate plan was ruined. Deciding to drop the revenge for the time being, Link returned once again to Hyrule, but remained CEO of the E. Gadd company, making quite a lot of money off the upstart corporation in the end...

GAMEFAQS SC2K3
Link was finally showing himself in public again, the public controversy around him dwindling while the private struggles only continued to grow. He was back to defend his title as GameFAQs champion, and no one was going to stop him. In the Semifinals though, Link went face to face with a man by the name of Cloud Strife. He had been in the tournament last year, but had been knocked out by Mario in the semis. Going up against Cloud, Link felt the same mysterious familiarity that he had sensed when he fought Sephiroth the year prior. Images repeatedly flashed through Link's head: A burning Village, a city on plates, walking through a crater, a One Winged Angel, the Lifestream, REUNION, J-Jenova... What was this? This surely wasn't his memories... Overwhelmed by the flashes before his eyes, Link fell to one knee in the midst of battle, and was virtually overcome by the flood of unknown visions and unwelcome whispers inside his head... Cloud took the situation and used it to his advantage, striking Link down with a comedically oversized sword, and eliminating Link from the tournament... Cloud would then go on to become the 2003 Champion... Link was distraught by his loss... Why had he seen those things? Whose memories were those? How did he lose? In somewhat of a daze and unable to answer his own questions, Link again wandered out of Hyrule, trying to find any answers he could... Unbeknownst to Link, but in his weakened state the power of the Soul Edge had just about consumed the entirety of his mind...

FINAL FANTASY TACTICS
While wandering around somewhere outside Hyrule, Link's mind went blank as the Soul Edge took full control. Soon, his body began to mutate and transform under the corrupt power of the demon sword... In a matter of a few days, Link had become the antithesis of everything he was built to become... He became Altima, the Bloody Angel, leader of the Lucavi. And to top it all off, he tried to do the one thing that he had always vowed never to do... Take over the World. Link was helpless as the Soul Edge's power rocked his body, and used his body as a marionette, forcing him to do things that he never imagined he could. I mean, Link had done a few murders here and there, no biggie, but destroying the world?! That was on an entirely new level. Luckily, Soul Edge Link was stopped by a lad in buttpants named Ramza and his band of faithful companions. His body finally returned to normal, and the power that Soul Edge had over him was purged from his body once and for all. With this purge, Link finally felt guilty for all of the murders in his past. Feeling truly sorry for his actions, Link vowed to redeem himself and after wandering for a couple weeks to clear his head, he somehow ended up back in Hyrule.

GAMEFAQS SC2K4
Link desperately wanted to avenge his 2K3 loss, and to start making amends for the tiny little fact that he had tried to destroy the world just a few months ago. Luckily he found that his name was still on the 2004 ballot, even after all of his faults over the past year. It was here in this very tournament where things had finally unraveled, so Link figured this would be the best place to start. He diligently fought his way back to the finals, where he came face to face with the man that had stripped him of his title a year before... Cloud Strife. The Champion-vs-Champion battle was intense, and Link almost gave way to the unrelenting visions that once again flooded his head. With a new sense of determination however, Link pushed through the pain and slashed away at Cloud with his own signature maneuver, Omnislash, to be crowned the first ever Two Time GFaqs Champion. It was the start of a new beginning for Link, one where he would let nothing go wrong ever again.

WIND WAKER
Link was at the top of the mountain. The people loved him, he loved himself, and he had overcome nearly all obstacles in his path... He was the Hero of Time that parents told their children about in bedtime stories. Things were perfect. Of course, nothing good lasts forever, and that one fateful day came where everything changed... The heavens tore open and began to rain down on Hyrule for 40 Days and 40 Nights. It was truly a flood to purge the world of its wickedness. Apparently the gods didn't think Link had done a good enough job at suppressing the evils of the world, so they were going to take matters into their own hands. A descendant of Noah had built an ark for just this occasion, but in Link's refusal to go down so easily to the god's whim, he killed Noah LXXVIII and stole the ark away for himself. Finding it a little too drab and unwieldy for his tastes, Link stripped it of any practical cargo usage and turned it into a sleek and nifty sail boat with a Lion's Head on the front. While floating around in the ocean during the rains, feeling forsaken by the gods he had protected in the past, Link reverted back to old habits in a moment of weakness and took some acid he had been carrying around for some time. Pretty soon afterwards, Link was talking to his boat and was ten kinds of messed up. After the rains finally ended, Link stepped off onto an island still rather messed up, slipping on the edge of his boat and knocking himself unconscious. He is taken in by an old woman and her granddaughter [Read: Zelda], and when Link wakes up... he has amnesia. He doesn't remember anything of his former life, and in order not to make things worse, the old woman simply told Link that he is her grandson... But since Ganon just wouldn't stay dead, Link was forced to unknowingly bring out the skills in his genes (namely the waffle and the Old Man) to save the world yet again. Relearning his heroic skills, Link cuts through the opposition like butter on his quest, where he even travels back to his old Hyrule! (Not that he knew it was his old Hyrule or anything.) In the end, Link and Zelda manage to defeat Ganon one more time, and the world was finally at peace. Relieved of all the indiscretions of his past, and finally a pure hero, Link sets off in his boat again with the pirates that he met up with to finally live a life of peace and plundering... And that my friends is how the story ends...

PHANTOM HOURGLASS
...for a while at least. While on the high seas, Link couldn't help but question his unknown past. When he and Zelda (Tetra) had fought Ganon, it was almost as if he had already known him. Of course, Zelda was staying tight-lipped on the entire situation, not wanting to reveal the truth to Link herself. Things got even more complicated though when Link and crew discover a ghost ship in their journey. Zelda goes aboard to check things out, but disappears and when Link tries to follow her he just ends up adrift in the ocean. When he wakes up, he meets up with a Ciela (a fairy) and Oshus (an old man) who decide to help Link out. He also meets up with Captain Linebeck, who really doesn't want to help, but does anyway. Link ends up finding the Ghost Ship and saves Zelda, but "whoops" she's a statue. It is now that Oshus reveals that he is the Ocean King, and that to save Zelda Link would have to defeat life-eating monster Bellum, who is also the cause of the Ghost Ship. Perturbed, Link does what he does best, scouring the world to find the items necessary to bring down the baddies. He forgers the Phantom Sword from some rare metals, and then takes the fight to Bellum. Link takes him down rather quickly, and Zelda is freed. But things never go that easily, and both Link and Zelda are captured. With some final help from Linebeck, Link and Zelda take down Bellum once and for all, ridding the world of the Ghost Ship. Link releases the sands of the phantom hourglass into the sea, and Oshus transforms into his true form, a huge white whale [Read: The Wind Fish in disguise]. For some reason, Link's mind flashes, but he can't decipher what it was trying to tell him. Oshus (taking note that Link seemed to have forgotten about their last encounter) offers that before Link and Zelda depart, that they all have one final extravaganza together. Seeing no reason why not, Link and Zelda party it up, only to find that after drinking some of the punch they find themselves becoming abnormally sleepy... The next thing they both remember is waking up on the deck of their ship, with Osh-- The Wind Fish nowhere in sight. And they feel used... VERY used... And to top it all off, the "party with a giant whale, black out, and wake up feeling violated while being told it was all a dream" thing is an all too familiar one for Link... The crew of their ship insists that Link and Zelda must have been dreaming, and that only ten minutes have passed... Finding the empty hourglass in his pocket though, Link knows the truth. Feeling violated, Link and Zelda exchange a glance that says that they would never speak of this incident again, for fear of embarrassment on both ends. Leaving the whole thing behind them, Link and Zelda attempt to continue their peaceful life of pirating on the Great Sea...

GAMEFAQS SC2K5
Link spent the next few months sailing with his crew, trying to figure out why Ganon and Oshus (Read: Still the dastardly Wind Fish) seemed so familiar to him. Zelda had become more distant from him, and the overall morale of the crew was dropping fast. For the first time in a long while, the entire ship agreed to make port in the next town. While docked in the port town, Link received an invitation to compete in a tournament of champions for the 2005 GameFAQs invitational. This confused Link, but he was certain that he would be able to find some answers about his past in the middle of those battles. Gathering up his belongings, he eagerly accepts the invitation, leaving Zelda and his life of pirating without so much as a second thought or final goodbye. When he arrives, his mind jumps from face to face, everything in a haze, the answers so close but still so far. The main tournament had just finished, and Link's match was up next against a man named Cloud. Stepping into the arena, Cloud looks over at Link and vows to avenge his loss from last year. Link squints at the man's face, trying to figure out why he knows him, when the flood overwhelms him like so many times in the past. Only this time, it isn't only the shared memories of Jenova, but the entirety of his previous life as well. So many memories come back at once that it is impossible to parse them all at once. The battle begins and Link just tries to keep from passing out. Link sees a flash of the Old Man, the Wind Fish, his first meeting with Ganon, his struggles with the Soul Edge, his slaughter of the Animal Crossing village-- Cloud tries to take advantage of Link's apparent breakdown, but with all of the bad memories also comes the unlocking off all of his lost Hero of Time abilities, which in the end become vital for taking down Cloud yet again. Link drops to both knees as the rest of his memories wash over him, and nothing is a mystery any longer. He even finally comes to the realization that Tetra had been Zelda all along... Before he can begin to come to terms with anything, the final match is upon him and Sephiroth enters the arena. He tells Link that he is a mere puppet, that nothing he's done in his life has been of his own free will, and that he was going to enjoy seeing him at the Reunion. Link, having heard this before, and with a newfound sense of determination brings everything he has to Sephiroth and the two go at it for over two hours... before Sephiroth finally makes a critical mistake that allows Link to take advantage and come away as the Champion of Champions. Link doesn't stick around to revel in the glory however, as he had become disgusted with himself via his newly reclaimed memories. He figured that if he was truly going to become a virtuous hero again, he was going to have to make amends for all his past indiscretions. Leaving right after the awards ceremony, Link began a quest to make things right with the first person he ever betrayed...

SUPER MARIO RPG: LEGEND OF THE SEVEN STARS
It had been right after Link saved the world for the first time that he had betrayed Mario and broken his "no vacation" clause, and Link was determined to find Mario and apologize at any cost. Mario had been at the tournament as well, but left early when he found out Peach had been kidnapped and Bowser was a prime suspect. Link spent several weeks just a few steps behind Mario, and eventually just became too exhausted to continue. Link used the last of his money to stay in an Inn, and passed out cold for over twelve hours. In a bit of cruel irony, Mario too stayed in the same Inn that night, getting there after Link and leaving before he woke up. Mario noticed Link there, and thought about confronting him, but ultimately decided that rescuing Peach was a higher priority than settling an old grudge that could wait for another day. When he finally wakes up, Link is devastated to learn that he just missed Mario. Disheartened, Link knew that trying to track Mario alone was going to be a fruitless effort, so he began to come up with some alternate ideas to aid his search...

YU-GI-OH! DUEL MONSTERS 8
Figuring things could go quicker if there was more than one of him (but not wanting to dabble in the cloning arts again), Link began to search out ways to make his life even the littlest bit easier. After hearing a few rumors, he began to seek out the famous game creator Maximillion J. Pegasus. After being granted an audience with Pegasus, "Linky-boy" explain his situation in great detail and asks if the there was anything Pegasus could give him to make things easier. Using his Millennium Eye, Pegasus reads deeper into the whole ordeal, and having a faint idea of how things would play out, agrees to help Link-- on one condition: That Pegasus gets full creative control on Link's second body. Link warily agrees, not liking the ever growing smirk on Pegasus' face and somewhat aware of the game creator's shady past. Pegasus quickly goes to work and creates a Duel Monsters card based on Link by hand, and the resemblance is remarkable. In addition, he also creates a self-contained and self-operated duel disk system which would create a tangible existence for whichever cards were played. In effect, there would be two separate Links now, with the original being able to either let the other exist on its own or remotely controlling it in case of emergency. However, Pegasus adds his own little twist to things, playing the magic card "Toon World" before playing Link's card, creating a caricature of Link as the clone. Despite the childish nature of it, Link was actually relieved to know that it wasn't a complete clone of him in all respects. His work complete, Pegasus hands the controls over to "Linky-boy" and wishes him luck. Link thanks Pegasus and readies himself again to return to his journey with Toon Link by his side, though the final smirk given to him by Pegasus does nothing to settle his nerves...

SUPER SMASH BROS BRAWL
Link and Toon Link initially travel together (two heads are better than one, right?), covering quite a bit of land, but after two weeks Link decides that splitting up would be the most efficient method. Trusting Pegasus' creation, Link sends Toon Link off on his own in one direction while continuing his journey. After three days though, Link loses signal on Toon Link, effectively losing all contact and control he had had. Toon Link had gone rogue. Cursing himself for trusting Pegasus, Link's life now became two times as worse: Now he had to find Mario, AND find Toon Link before he could get into too much trouble. As Link passed through a nearby town though he finally caught a break. Apparently the third Smash Bros tournament was being held not so far from there... Mario was certain to be there. Taking off in a sprint, Link was able to reach the site of the SSB tournament by midday. Nearly out of breath, Link went to registration and attempted to enter the tournament, only to be denied. The judge quickly reminded him of Article 17, subsection D of the Super Smash bylaws (See SSBM) and it was then that everything clicked... Toon Link had already entered himself into the tournament. Despite his attempts to explain everything to the judges, they didn't want anything to do with Link after the SSBM fiasco (and especially after it looked like he was trying to do the same thing again) so they barred him from even entering the coliseum until the tournament was over. Not one to be put off by that, Link used his hookshot to climb his way to the top of the giant open air structure, where he watched the battles from afar. Toon Link was maliciously ruthless on his side of the bracket, cutting down opponent after opponent on his way to the semi-finals where he met up with Fox McCloud. Link was impressed that even after Fox climbed into a Landmaster tank, Toon Link was able to persevere and make his way into the finals. On the other side of the bracket, Peach had made a Cinderella run of things, defeating Mario in her semi-final match. The finals were exceptionally brutal, with Toon Link pulling no punches with Peach. In the end, Toon Link defeated Peach with a Hurricane Spin, and as she laid on the ground and the match had been called, Toon Link stood over her prepared to drive his blade right into her skull. Out from the stands came Mario, Luigi AND Bowser, who tackled all tackled Toon Link and turned things into a full on Brawl. A swipe from Bowser unearthed Toon Link's internal circuitry and a final combined attack from the four of them managed to disable and destroy the rogue clone before it could do anymore damage.

Coming down off the top of the coliseum, Link ran down the stairs to finally confront Mario and explain to him everything that had happened. Luigi was the first to notice Link as he hopped the wall, and quickly pointed him out to Mario. Thinking Link had been behind the attempt on Peach's life the whole time, and now thinking that Link had been tracking him in order to assassinate him (See Super Mario RPG) after catching word that Link had slaughtered an entire village (See Animal Crossing) Mario passed out two left over Smash Balls from the tournament to himself and Peach. Their eyes began to burn a fiery red as Link covered the final few feet between them. Before Link could even get out a word otherwise, Peach let out a Peach Blossom that instantly put him to sleep, despite his best efforts to fight it. Mario reveled in this moment, ending the bitter rivalry by unleashing his fury in the form of a Mario Finale. The searing fireball tore through Link's body, and as Link fell backwards from the blast, he accidentally impaled himself on his Master Sword. Beaten and bloody, Link began to feel cold as his life began to slip away from him. Staring up at the sky as things began to get fuzzy, Link saw the outline of Mario standing over him. Seconds before everything faded to black, Link managed to stretch his hand out to Mario and utter the words, "I'm sorry..."

And just like that, The Hero of Time was dead.

FINAL FANTASY: DAWN OF SOULS
After his death, the truth about Link's intentions slowly came to surface, about how after the SC2k5 battle Link had attempted to make amends and turn his life around and how he had been betrayed by Pegasus in his attempt to do so. Mario felt bad about how things had ended between them in the end, so he made sure that Link got a full hero's funeral and respects. In Elftown there was a grave marked "Here Lies Link" where the Hero of Time was laid to rest, and where many traveling heroes would stop to pay their respects. In death Link had become more respected and acknowledged than he had ever been in life, and people were quick to forget about the missteps he had had earlier in his life. Link's grave became an inspirational beacon for others to keep going in the face of adversity, especially for a group of traveling heroes known only as the "Warriors of Light" who would go on to save the world in Link's absence. The world was peaceful once again, but underneath the surface things were only beginning. The image of peace was actually only a facade... In the dead of night, the golden image of Link's grave was ruined as the Hero of Time's body was dug up and his body was exhumed. It was quickly shipped to the United States on an express charter in order to be used as the base in a scientific experiment...

RESIDENT EVIL 3: NEMESIS
I know what you're thinking, "But FFD, you said Link was in RE0 and that's only three months from RE3, and yet years have passed in this timeline. How can this be?!" Simple. You don't think you can travel between worlds, seasons, even time itself without any sort of repercussions, do you? Exactly. Because of all those adventures of his where Link manipulated the space-time continuum, plus the whole "Belt of Time" incident (See SSBM) with two Links in one era, Link inadvertently ruptured how time flowed in Hyrule and the outlying areas around it. Quite simply, as a side effect of all those fancy time traveling gizmos, time flows much more slowly in Hyrule than anywhere else in the world now. Got it? Good.

Now, because of all of the heroic juices flowing through Link's body, as well as all of the other cocktail genes used to make him (Jenova/Triple H/chicken/etc) Umbrella knew that he would be the perfect base for their new Bio Organic Weapon. Plus, it hadn't taken them long to figure out that it was Link who had been masquerading as Billy Coen on that fateful July night. Umbrella had been keeping an eye on him ever since, waiting for an opportunity just like this one. A touch or irony to every situation. The hero who had initially helped put a stop to Umbrella and saved the young STARS medic was soon going to become their newest killing machine. With a mix of the T-Virus fusing with his cells, and the freshly acquired Nemesis Parasite from Umbrella France, Link soon became the ultimate in bio weaponry: Nemesis. And like the good puppet he had become, he was dropped off in Raccoon City to follow his one goal: Eliminate STARS.

Link left the STARS Alpha Team Pilot Brad Vickers (along with countless other survivors/UBCS soldiers) dead in his wake, but Jill Valentine proved to be a trickier subject to take down. Following her all over Raccoon City, using everything from his now gargantuan fists to rocket launchers and tentacles, Link was just unable to take her out. All the while his last flicker of humanity tried repel the virus coursing through his veins. Ah... but he was finally successful in infecting Jill Valentine after destroying her helicopter out of there, but he was again repelled back by her cohort Carlos so he was unable to finish the job. Jill eventually recovered for a final showdown in the Dead Factory, where his body twisted and mutated into an amorphous blob, and Jill Valentine finally got the best of him and left him incapacitated, escaping the city by helicopter. Unbeknownst to her, she actually freed Link from the torturous mutations of Umbrella, his body shrinking down to how it had been right at his moment of death (think Steve from Code Veronica). The fog of his mind finally lifting, the parasite now dead inside him thanks to Jill, Link realized he didn't have much time left. His body stiff from the rigorous of death, he noticed that he had Umbrella replicas of most of his old equipment. They must have intended to outfit Link Nemesis with weaponry he had been used to before ultimately deciding on rocket launchers. Luckily this panned out, as Link found the Ocarina of Time on his person, apparently found and repaired by Umbrella at some point after Animal Crossing.

The ringing alarm blocked Link's memory, and he couldn't remember the few notes he needed. He heard the squeal of a missile overhead, and put his lips to the Ocarina, playing off of nothing more than instinct. The Song of Time rang out clear over all else, and Link flashed out of Raccoon City mere instants before it was turned to dust by a tactical strike by the US military.

And just like that, The Hero of Time was alive once more.

LINK'S CROSSBOW TRAINING
Link came out of the time warp at the top of the SSBB Coliseum, just in time to see himself get killed by Mario and the gang. After seeing it was this view, it looked a lot more painful than Link remembered it. The most surprising part though was after the fact, Mario seemed upset with himself. Grinning, Link left the arena without a word. He was still in no position to defend himself if things came to that again. Also of note, Umbrella hadn't anticipated on the Ocarina ever being used to that magnitude again, so it was no more than dust in Link's hands by the time he stepped out of the time warp.

Being freshly woken from the dead, Link's motor skills weren't exactly what they used to be, so he needed some refresher training to get him back to a workable level. When the Nemesis Parasite had been controlling things, he had been fine. However, with just the remnants of the T-Virus keeping his limbs in motion, things were a little more than stiff. It was shocking enough that he wasn't a zombie to begin with. So Link trained, and he trained hard in the shadows of Hyrule, getting himself back into peak physical condition. In the end, he was more proficient with a bow than he had ever been in his previous life. Same goes with the sword to boot... And he never got tired, never got wounded... The T-Virus had turned an already great hero into an unstoppable force unlike any the world had seen before it. Link returned to Hyrule proper and by himself known to the King incase anything were to go wrong, though he requested a bit more time to get reacclimated.

THE MINISH CAP
Slowly making his way back into society, Link was at Hyrule's yearly fair to celebrate the coming of the Picori, when a swordsman and sorcerer named Vaati shatters the Picori Blade and turns Zelda into a statue again (See Phantom Hourglass). Not needing any further excuse to test out his new Umbrella Corporation imbued powers, Link set off to whip Vaati's ass with the help of a talking hat like thing named Ezlo. Ezlo and Vaati had apparently been friends until Vaati went emo and turned his master into a hat, and stole another hat that grants wishes. So he wished to be a badass sorcerer. Link finds this out and is angry that someone was trying to be more badass than him, so now he was doubly pissed off at Vaati. Link restores the power of the Picori Blade and turns it into the Four Sword to get his pre-requisite "Need this to kill the boss" item and proceeds to go through Dark Hyrule Castle, which had been cursed by Vaati, and proceeds to pretty much whup his ass in several different forms, to the point where it was just laughable. Link stops Vaati from draining Zelda's Light force, Ezlo gets the wised hat off of Vaati and gives to Zelda, she wishes for the curse to be broken and BAM Vaati gets owned all over. Of course this super wish ends up breaking the hat, but whatever. Ezlo gives Link a banging new hat that assures that he'll stay badass for a long while, and Link proceeds to lock up Vaati in the Four Sword. A new pimp hat, the loving thanks of his woman, and he got to knock someone around testing out his new powers. Life was good.

FOUR SWORDS
Link and Zelda had been keeping a good look out on the Four Sword for the few months after that, making sure Vaati didn't try anything stupid, but apparently Vaati had gotten tired of crawling in his skin and launched a surprise attack, busting out when the seal weakened. He caught Link off guard and pretty much made him his *****, and kidnapped Zelda. When Link woke up, he was pretty angry to say the least. Vaati's grand scheme was trying to make Zelda his bride, so he could bang it out with her to get back at Link. Bitter at the turn of events, Link listened to some fairies and drew the Four Sword, which split him into four. Remembering what had happened the last two times Link split himself (See Oracle of Ages/Seasons and Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters 8), he was having none of this. It took the Fairies about three hours to convince Link that he was going to need all of help he could get, and that each of the Links represented a necessary element: Earth, Fire, Water, and Wind. Still not liking the idea much, but not having any better ideas, Link reluctantly agrees and sets off to rescue Zelda. Things were actually much easier than he though, and he got along with these clones much more than the previous ones, so it made storming Vaati's Palace a lot easier than expected. Zelda Rescued? Check. Vaati owned? Check. Vaati sealed in the sword again? Check. Returning to the Four Sword Sanctuary, Link places the sword back in its rightful place and his clones disappear. Link was again the hero, and had finally overcome his fear of his cloning. Life was still very good.

FOUR SWORDS ADVENTURES
But again that can only last for so long, as a few months later a series of strange events began occurring. Link and Zelda were afraid that the seal on Vaati was weakening again, so they went to check it out with a few other shrine maidens. It is there when Link is attacked by a Shadow Copy of himself. Link is forced to draw the Four Sword to defeat the Doppelganger, and in the ensuing chaos Vaati escapes again. "whoops" The Dark World appears and begins leveling Hyrule and slaughtering its inhabitants, replacing them with evil copies of themselves. Soon Link learns that Ganon, King of Darkness, had finally returned and it was his plan that had gotten Vaati released. Ganon was building a Shadow Army through the uses of a stolen Trident and Dark Mirror, and it was up to Link to stop them all. Luckily Link is still running on overdrive from the T-Virus cocktail, so he charged headlong into the perilous danger saving the shrine maidens, retrieving the Dark Mirror, destroying Shadow Link and Emo Vaati, and facing Ganon in an ultimate showdown. Ganon had come prepared to fight the Link from their past encounters, slightly deranged, druggie, off his game... He never expected a virally augmented super hero, and so he fell quickly to Link's blade. Link toppled Ganon with ease, and sealed him firmly in the Four Sword. Peace returned to Hyrule and the people celebrated as all traces of the evil that plagued Hyrule were vanquished. Three times in one year Link had gone and saved the world, without a relapse and without a vacation, and he was feeling great. So great in fact, that with evil gone from the world... He was going to fix some of which he broke...

CAPTAIN PLANET AND THE PLANETEERS
With all the evil effectively gone from the world, Link was finally able to take a step back from things and realize all of the ramifications his world saving has been having on the environment, namely the whole rift in the time loop thing (See Resident Evil 3). Plus Ganon's Dark World had scarred up the environment pretty bad itself. After some deep thought, Link calls up Elzo again and gets him to make some modifications to the Four Sword, turning it into the Five Sword by adding one additional element: Heart. Link had heard the legend of the blue-skinned Ecological hero, and was going to go his best to summon him here. Drawing the sword again, Link splits into five now, becoming a full set of Planeteers (with their swords as makeshift rings), representing each of the five elements: EARTH! FIRE! WIND! WATER! HEART! By their powers combined, they summoned Captain Planet, who helps fix some of the mess Link had done over the years. When all was said and done, the Time Loop was fixed, an oil spill was cleaned up, and a toxic chemical plant was put out of business! GOOOOOOOOOO PLANET! (PS: The irony of using a sword that has Ganon sealed in it to summon Captain Planet was not lost on Link, or Ganon for that matter as you'll see later.) Link was prepared to continue on with this choice in life and continue preserving the Earth, but he received an invitation for another GameFAQs Tournament of Champions. Pride winning out over selflessness and against the wishes of the other four Links and Captain Planet, Link slammed the Five Sword home in the sanctuary and made haste for the arena.

GAMEFAQS SC2K6
It was a bit of a shock when Link showed up and signed into the tournament, as most hadn't heard about his time-traveling cheating of death yet. The most surprised of course was Mario, who had been living with the notion that he had killed Link for almost a year now. You could see in Mario's eyes that he was half-pissed-half-relieved, but before the ToC Battle Royale he extended the olive branch to Link. Link took the time to explain the events that had led up to the SSBB encounter -- His 'birth,' "No Vacation" clause, battle with drugs, the death of the Old Man, the Soul Edge eating away at his mind, the amnesia, realization of his past, the search for Mario to apologize, and Pegasus' evil contraption. It was such an out of the world story that Mario couldn't help but believe it. They agreed to bury the hatchet once and for all, and Link was able to scratch off another thing on his redemption list.

Going into the Battle Royale, there were many familiar faces: Mario, his friend-turned-enemy-turned-acquaintance and Cloud and Sephiroth, the two mysterious swordsmen that he felt like they were family. There were two new people though, a female bounty hunter named Samus and another genetic soldier named Solid Snake. It was going to be a good fight. A five day fight as each day someone would be eliminated. On Day 1, Samus got overwhelmed by the speed and power of the three swordsmen as Mario and Snake fought each other to a stalemate. The bounty huntress lost her power suit quickly, and after that there was nothing she could do to avoid elimination. Day 2 proved to be interesting as Cloud and Sephiroth turned their attentions on Link, trying to manipulate the Jenova cells inside him. Link fell to his knees hard, unable to control the slideshow barreling through his head. The T-Virus was only serving to make these images worse, drawing out the worst in him as he now relived the Raccoon City incident and Soul Edge slaughtering as well. As Sephiroth was poised to come down with a Masamune through Link's back, Mario pushes Link out of the way and takes the blow. Mario was eliminated. Having had a day to rest, Link wasn't about to have Mario's sacrifice be in vain. He came out of the gate hard on Sephiroth, not letting him get the chance to mind rape him. He still tried though, Link fought through it even as Cloud joined in. Snake took this opportunity to his advantage by blowing Sephiroth away with a Stinger Missile, eliminating him. The final 3 on Day 4 was actually much closer than anticipated, but in the end Cloud Omnislashed Snake out of the contest. So Day 5 was yet another rematch of Cloud vs Link. They fought neck and neck for some time, but Cloud's power was the same as it had always been. They had worked to topple Link once, in a weakened state, but this was an entirely new Link so the tides of the battle turned quickly. Cloud managed to cut Link deep across the chest, but it was too little too late as Link was able to skewer Cloud on his Master Sword to retain his Championship. And he did so without mentally breaking down for the first time in a long time. Link had just about reached perfection in hero form...

ROCK BAND
His name recognition through the roof, and nothing evil to fight for the time being, Link decided to ride the fame train by starting up a band: "The High Rules" an alternative-pop-rock band with their debut album "What's for Dinner?" and number one single "So Hungry I could eat an Octorok!" (Link had no problem poking fun at his troubled past [See Zelda II]). He used the rest of money he had been sitting on from the E. Gadd Corporation (See Luigi's Mansion) to finance the band in the early goings. Link was on lead guitar and supporting ocarina, Zelda sang lead, Tingle on bass (every band needs a weirdo), and in a shocker Link convinced Mario to be on drums. For the next year they toured the world, selling out venues from Hyrule, to the Mushroom Kingdom, Rome, New York, Sydney, Midgar, everywhere. If there was an arena, and THR were playing it, there was never a vacant seat. Drawing off his limited musical experience (mostly from Link's Awakening), THR prospered more than any of them ever expected. Zelda became a pop-rock icon, Link's popularity stayed at a fever pitch, Mario was drawn back into the spotlight, and Tingle even spawned a series of top-selling clothing items at Hot Topic. The band had taken the world by storm, and with their follow-up album "I AM ERROR" with the power ballad "Nayru's Love", THR had no indication of ever slowing down.

That is... until all four members of the band received their invitations to the GFaqs 2007 tournament. The success of THR had all but ensured that they'd get these invitations, and they all knew this day would come, though they had never discussed it. At first there was an argument to keep the band together, but in the end everyone agreed that they'd rather take their shot at glory in the tournament instead. Link himself was eager to put a notch in his championship belt. So in a press release, Zelda informed the world that THR had decided to call it quits due to the tournament. There was a large outcry, but ticket sales to GameFAQs skyrocketed in the next few days. But hey, I wouldn't rule out a comeback tour somewhere else down the line. You never rule out a comeback tour.

GAMEFAQS SC2K7
Link was ecstatic when he got the news that he was going to back in the main bracket this year. It would be his time to outshine everyone else, and to cement his place in the history books forever. He was even more excited to find out that each match would be a four-way, giving him more bodies to lay in his wake. Link showed up to the arena with an ego the size of Hyrule itself, being stronger physically and mentally than he's ever been before, having grown immensely from his very first adventure. He was looking to make the name "Link" synonymous with "Perfection" for all of eternity. His first match was a joke, as Link slaughtered a lawyer, a beaver, and a singing secret agent. From that moment on it was the same result all the way to the top as Link laid out such familiar names as Vincent, Zero, and Crono, members of last year's Battle Royale Sephiroth, Mario, and Samus, and even his on-again-off-again girlfriend Zelda in his path to the finals.

The final four: Link, of course. Cloud Strife, the airplane wing swordsman that always seems to be up there with Link. Solid Snake, the genetic soldier that had impressed last year by taking third. And finally, L-Block, a strange tetrad that had taken the contest by storm... though it looked relatively harmless honestly. The battle began and Solid Snake found himself quickly outmatched, having not gained enough strength from last year. Next to fall was Cloud, who was dismantled by the L-Block in just a few swift turning motions. Unphased, Link unloaded his arsenal on L-Block, but to his and everyone else's surprise the block would just... not... stop. It pounced on Link and when the dust settled Link was face down in the dirt, a trickle of blood running from his mouth and a boot-like bruise on his ass.

The bell sounded and the finals were over with L-Block stealing the Championship away from Link in the final seconds. The only words Link heard as he picked himself up were, "Shaped like a boot to kick your ass, *****!" Looking around into the stands, Link saw the crowds laughing at him for such a comical loss, and he couldn't help but stew in his own regret. He had come so far to fall so hard... Talking to no one, Link threw down his sword in a fit of rage and left the arena, denouncing everyone and everything he had strived so hard to obtain.

HARVEST MOON
Link had made sure that the evils were gone from the world, and fixed nearly all of his mistakes from the past... so he decided that there was no longer a reason for him to be in the spotlight. The GFaqs 2k7 loss to a Tetris Piece only cemented this fact for him. People were looking for a reason to laugh at him, almost wishing for him to fail, so he decided to leave it all behind once and for all. So what does a genetically spliced, virally augmented, once dead, former Hero of Time do if he's not saving the world? That's right. He farms. Having used all of the E. Gadd money to start The High Rules, and most the THR money being split up between managers and other band members, Link didn't have much money left over. Just enough to buy a decrepit, weed-choked farm. That was fine with him though, as over the next few months he ripped up the weeds, tilled the soil, and cultivated the land, planting turnips, potatoes, tomatoes and corn. He also raised cows and chickens, which produced eggs and milk for him. By selling all of the products, Link was able to build a rather large farmhouse that became the centerpiece of the small town. It was hard work, but it paid off in the end as Link was able to bankroll him a nice little stash of money. Unfortunately he grew tired of the long hours, and his extravagant farmhouse and ever-growing farm was beginning to gather national attention, so Link decided that it was again time to move on.

TWILIGHT PRINCESS
Tired of working the hard soil itself, Link sold his farm for a high profit and moved out of the expanding village in order to work on a smaller farm as a goat herder in Ordon Village. He wanted to stay out of the spotlight for as long as possible, and his growing farm had begun to catch people's attention. In Ordon though, things were peaceful and quiet, just the way he liked it... until one day when his friends were kidnapped, and he was pulled through a mysterious black wall... and he was turned into a wolf. Awakening imprisoned in Hyrule Castle, Wolf Link meets an imp named Midna who promises to help him escape if he can help her find Zelda. Of course he agrees because, hey, he'd like to see if Zelda could help him too (if she wasn't still upset about the thrashing he gave her in the 2007 tournament that is). When they find Zelda, she explains that the Twilight King Zant is trying to merge the Twilight Realm and Hyrule into a land of darkness using an evil power. Oh hey, Link's heard this one before. Time to be heroic then! Traipsing all over the world in his wolfly form, they finally meet up with Zant, who owns the hell out of Midna with the light from the Light Spirit Lanayru, and embeds a black crystal in Link's head to lock him in wolf form. Link gets Zelda to save Midna, but Link has to find the Master Sword to save himself, so he internally curses the fact that he threw it away after losing to L-Block. He finally finds it however, and is now able to shift between his human and wolf forms at will. It wasn't such a bad thing after all. So, back to the basics, clear a few dungeons, collect the necessary items, own some faces. Aha! They reach Zant again, who explains that he's serving a higher power -- Ganondorf. Link knew he had escaped the Five Sword when he saw him in the 2007 tournament, but he had been weaker. Link never expected that he could do this...

Link dispatches the crazed Zant and Midna regains her fused shadows, ripping a serious hole in Hyrule Castle's magic barrier. Link fights through until he again comes face to face with his arch-nemesis, Ganondorf. He doesn't fight fair though, first sending a mind controlled Zelda after him. Link takes care not to seriously hurt Zelda, but eventually takes her down and breaks her of Ganondorf's control. Ganondorf than transforms into Ganon, and Link puts the goat-herding skills to good use by tossing the big boar around, putting him out of commission. Ganondorf rises again though, and Midna transports Link and Zelda to safety, fighting Ganondorf herself. That lasts all of two minutes as Ganondorf again appears, crushing the fused shadows in his hand. Link and Zelda fight Ganondorf on horseback, with Zelda praying for the power of the light arrows. Ganondorf is thrown from his horse and challenges Link to final, climatic swordfight. All the years of animosity boiling down to one final clash of steel...

After many minutes of intense battle, Link calls on the power of all his genes, the Triforce of courage, and the T-Virus combined to drive the Master Sword into Ganondorf's glowing wound. Ganondorf still stands, impaled and grinning, believing the Triforce of Power will save him. It does not. Ganondorf dies where he stands. Free from her curse, Midna's true form was revealed, and Link was intent on hitting that (even with Zelda standing right there). They all travel back to the Mirror of Twilight and Midna says her goodbyes, heading through the Mirror and shattering it for good, severing the link between the worlds (she didn't want to see Link screw up his relationship with Zelda). Link is devastated of course, as he had never been given the cold shoulder like that before, but he doesn't let Zelda see that as he needed her to fall back on.

Link returns the Master Sword to the Pedestal of Time for safe keeping, and decides that staying in Ordon Village actually wasn't for him after all. Saving the world always seemed to put Link on the right track again, and this time was no exception. This had been a long time coming, but it was finally time to see it become a reality. The game ends with Link riding Epona through Faron Woods, away from Ordon and towards Hyrule Castle so that he could pick up Zelda... And the two of them were about to go on a proper vacation together. Screw the Old Man's clauses. Until the next time the world needed him, The Hero of Time was off-duty, living the life he should have been living from the start.

CONCLUSION
This theory is now entirely factual. No more Zelda timeline topics are allowed to be made, as this is the final and correct word. I will clarify for the doubters, but I am clearly right. If you disagree, you are lying. Remember, only the truth will set you free...

~Fin~