(3)Dante vs. Vergil vs (6)Sol Badguy vs. Ky Kiske 2011

Ulti's Analysis
Jesus CHRIST

I forgot just how badly Dante wrecked this match until looking at it just now, but yeah it's coming back to me how good those of us who picked Dante > Sora felt when this happened. And Dante/Vergil would have pulled it off had this match pic been used in round 2, too.

I know Guilty Gear is just piss-weak on this site, but this might seriously be the best match Dante has ever had. The percentage here is only 3 below what Mario and Link pulled off, and given Vergil MvC3 hype and Kingdom Hearts trending way down every year, the upset was very possible. It almost ended up happening, too.

Unfortunately, this match right here may be the peak of Dante's strength. By the time we get another character battle, we'll have to deal with this piece of s***: http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2010/267/7/d/new_dmc_dante__sideview__by_dante584-d2zd1oe.jpg

If you look like a Scott Pilgrim character, odds are you're an absolute piece of trash that shouldn't exist. It has nothing to do with white hair, either, despite what people actually defending this crap think. Capcom never. f***ing. learns. anything.

We've been down this road with Devil May Cry 2, you know with taking the series in a new direction and letting a new director take over. The end result was an absolute piece of crap game with Not Dante (thanks, Viewtiful Joe 2) running around a city fighting flying goats and infected helicopters before magically popping up on an oil rig before magically popping up to tell people about swan songs and a big puke monster.

You think I'm kidding, too, don't you? And that says nothing of half the game's bosses being killable by standing in the starting position and holding down square, or his "hip new look", or freaking Lucia holy god.

The point is, WE'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. Now Capcom decides to learn nothing, as usual, and go with a whole new development team instead of just a director. Bad enough this is happening, but they go with Ninja Theory? Are you effin serious?

I don't know how many of you people have actually played Heavenly Sword, but I have. I'll let Yahtzee handle this one, but I assure you the game is just a total piece of trash that should be incinerated before it can infect the world further.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1-Heavenly-Sword-and-Other-Stuff

Notable here is how Heavenly Sword was Yahtzee's first video, meaning the game was so bad that it launched Yahtzee's career of trashing bad games. Twing-twang.

Oh and I haven't played Enslaved, but my best friend has and he tells me it's somehow even worse than Heavenly Sword. Lovely. And these are the jerkoffs now in charge of the Devil May Cry series. If you can't come up with a way to make a character cool, might as well give him a cigarette and make him look like an emo moron. F*** Capcom, f*** Ninja Theory and f*** that idiot director who literally inserted himself into the series fanfiction style, much like how Stephanie Meyer essentially write the Twilight series as a fanfiction with herself as the main character.

Oh and don't think ArcSys Works is above my wrath, either, with how they've catered to fangirls of late. Catering to fangirls is about the last thing any company should do. Guilty Gear isn't popular enough to get ruined by them, but BlazBlue is pretty much trying to figure out how to make Ragna and Jin into a canonical gay yaoi incest love affair. I'm not even freaking kidding, it's unreal. Bad enough fangirls ruined Vegas, but stop ruining my music and my video games. Thanks.

(they ruined music because they apparently think hipster douches in skinny jeans are sooooo sexy, thanks for asking)

I have no idea where I was going with this, but yeah Devil May Cry 5 is going to blow and fangirls pretty much rendered the BlazBlue plot not worth paying attention to anymore.