Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 2 Week 1

The First Week of the Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 2 Tournament.

Battle 1: The Beginning vs. DigitalIncision
~The Score~

The Beginning: 6 DigitalIncision: 5

~The Raps~

The Beginning I vaguely remember a time not far removed When TB rap-battled DI, but it wasn't Realo-Approved By the time it was over, it was clear who'd been outdone DI was buried under a votal that toppled 14 to 1 There was crying and self doubt, greater thans pointing my direction DI contemplating if he could bounce back from board-wide rejection So, why even bother with this week? Is it just to waste my flow? It's got to be for more than this Cherry Coke-sponsored dog and pony show That's OK, though. That was only target practice for this week's main event Where you have to go through all the shame again to your heart's discontent So, DI, while you were too concerned with a topic jerking off Marcy Playground The Beginning was waiting patiently on his throne to be formally crowned

DigitalIncision Beginning your version must be a little hazy That recollection is ****, son you must be crazy You may have taken that battle, but this where it counts I'm comin' strong, regardless of your whacked accounts You came hot, rollin' one sick flow, beasted a little but its still my show An' for tonight's show how about a game you may know I spy with my little eye--twelve-lines-supplied by-this-guy-tonigh' Twelve little lines in which you apply yah lies A full "flow" that doesn't run it trickles Were those insults, Beginnin, 'cause really that tickles An' speakin' of Marcy Playground this reminds of this song "Bye Bye," TB, its clear ya don't belong.

The Beginning Ok, DI, I'm a man of the present, so I won't focus on the past After we're done here, your lines will be the King's, "God Almighty we're free at last!" Though I'd listen to X if I were you, "put the word 'freedom' out of your vocabulary." You can never escape my grasp, I'm the hunter, and you're on the open prairie You can pray in the monastery, oh but on the contrary, they'll never be answered "Hi, God, it's DI, tell the Beginning to stay away, he's nothing but a bastard!" As it falls on echoes, I suggest you convert pagan, No force can block me, I "tear down the wall" in the words of Ronnie Reagan All you can say, DI, is "oh boy that tickles," you're a posting Elmo toy Don't worry son, one of these days, Geppetto will finally turn you into a real boy And when I see your name next to mine? I can't help but be overjoyed Cause I hate to break it to you, this wasn't deja vu, again you got destroyed

DigitalIncision "Free at last" from your bad flow, finally you done You rhyme well but bro but a schme-you-seem ta have shunned There's more to rappin' than the last sound of each word I wonder what rap you listen to or how much you've heard My prayers were already answered 'fore this battle began "Please two raps only" 'cause I didn't wanna hear you spit again But not outta fear or wantin' to stop rappin But mostly because the scheme-you-bring an' ya words you overlappin' Yo ass just got reamed from this verbal arsenal I'm strappin' You really underwhelmed me, TB, I'm-almost-nappin' It really is deja-vu 'cause all I'm really seein is two verses too many from Beginnin this evenin.

Battle 2: Ed Bellis vs. MajinZidane
~The Score~

Ed Bellis: 10 MajinZidane: 2

~The Raps~

Ed Bellis Wake the children, sound the klaxons, tell the Web from Drudge to Sporcle Better let Morgoth and Kaxon know: here comes the hip-hop Oracle Make women grunt, make men cry sweetly; Bellis takes no prisoners Any fool thinks they’ll defeat me? That **** makes less sense than “Vissionerz” Here’s MC MZ, foolish kid, thinks he’s got half a pray-ah Better get his dumb ass good and hid from this poetic playah Either spiky-haired or monkey-tailed you better start repentance Cause you’re predestined to fall and fail before you’ve typed a sentence There’s no hope for ya, this match is tapped before it’s even started Oh, excuse me please – hold up, you rapped? I thought I’d simply farted Gonna wear you down like tire’s tread and break your back like Bane That’s what happens when the great King Ed meets one MajinZidane.

MajinZidane recognition alone, ed rasies me high, expecting an unquestioned fold my mission implied, got "kings" in the hole, my gaze is nothing but bold. a kick to the groin to set up my smite, got you stunned while i am stone-cold your defense is good, your coverage is great, but dammit i'm Larry Fitzgerald.

i'm not gonna scoop, push the trumpets aside, it's time for an heir to your throne. king ed, they'll all read, "may he rest here in peace" - the words on your quiet tombstone. my rite to ascend, a new age for all, here comes the mighty MZ. my trance lights the hall, like kuja you'll fall, both not quite a matchup for me.

you're the first one to die, my horror you fear like an angered freddie or jason. with two seconds left, clutch the ball in my hands, spot up like a fresh Roger Mason. my words pack a punch, like a sword to your heart, my existance is your living hell. take a boot to your skull, throw you down, knock you out, you're a koopa without its green shell.

Ed Bellis I laugh at your attempts to make a mock’ry of this process Your decent rhymes are rarer than a Pittsburgh steak at Hoss’s You’re tomato to my pesto in the paragon of sauces Got you crucified like Jesus, guess you really shouldn’ta crossed dis Dunno where you got the message that ‘stone-cold’ rhymes with ‘Fitzgerald’ You read tombstones, I write epitaphs: ‘I shot him, double-barreled’ Freddy Krueger ain’t got **** on me; it’s your life that’s imperiled I’ve got rap’s own Power Cosmic, and you’re nothin’ but my herald You’re like Roger Mason, that’s for sure, but not for being clutch It’s because you’re full of bull (did the italics spoil too much?) I guess subtlety just ain’t your thing, so I’ll be blunt and such: When your raps have faded, dead and gone, no one will miss them much.

MajinZidane they don't spoil a thing, you must be reposed, dreaming of a fantasy my words are your king, this here is real life, my own exclusive rhapsody. this dyne is your fault, this stage is my 'show,' i'm out of your max capacity. you're tied to a halt, with nowhere to go, i'll show you my fearless tenacity.

a sword is your bane, i'll steal from you too, i'm saying you might as well flee. your hits i will feign, your attacks barely strain, like a mage with zero MP. my words are your scorn, i aim for the horn, i'm fire and you're just a tree i hold A and stare, quick spin and i tear, and now you're an amputee.

my fists are like steel, my kicks you can't parry, you're a mortal while i have immortality. my pain you can't heal, my skill is unreal, this fight was a perfect fatality. so ed how's it feel, you're not quite ahead, and hey - i'm just a rookie. you can squirm, cry or squeal, you're not getting free, i'm Han and you're my pet wookie.

Battle 3: BBallman7 vs. WalrusJump
~The Score~

BBallman7: 10 WalrusJump: 1

~The Raps~

BBallman7 I'm a God, you should learn this, get back on your knees and finish your service You look nervous...retreat to the surface, Giving head is your purpose win this match I deserve this, I was born to be a wordsmith you belong in the circus, In case you ain't heard this, let me try and reword it, Get DQ'd, say I didn't earn it before they turn in the verdict You're worthless...beaten and shirtless My verses are worshipped, yours are furthest from perfect. You're in over your head, Mr. Double You Jay, I'll leave you for dead, so what do you say? I can start a riot and still get a parade And there won't be a David beating a Goliath today.

WalrusJump You are correct - your David won't stand a chance against my rhymes Your weak-ass **** in a slingshot won't kill me this time Go ahead and call yourself God - I won't listen, I'll just murder ya Ripping your blasphemous ass to shreds just like Gojira The fire that I spit out of my hypothetical lips Will be your kiss of death, your unholy apocalypse Compared to my flow, your stuff ain't nothing more than mild Which is why you might as well be a red-headed stepchild Are you ready, BBallman? 'Cause these raps will leave you bawling You won't be able to lay anything down, 'cause you'll just be squalling The appalling devastation here will allow for nothing more But that's par for my course - just chalk one up to Walrus' score.

BBallman7 I can rap like a kid too, you're a dick wad, And you're getting beaten worse than a Michael Vick dog. I already won, you're getting crucified like my only son, The damage is done, I'm second to none.

You should get extra lines, cuz this just seems criminal, You don't understand syllables, I said I'm a God, take that **** literal, This ain't political, your chances are minimal My first shot pierced your heart, your condition is critical.

You think my flow is mild, but yours is nothin' but broken, You say that you're Goliath, what the **** are you smokin'? I make a living killing noobs, business is open, And now you're choking on your words so plainly misspoken.

WalrusJump Get this guy to a hospital - he's spewing nonsense 'Cause no one sane can give this piss-poor a defense You're not the father of Jesus, you just need to see a shrink Because your title hopes were always completely doomed to sink I may just be a kid, but it's your **** that's juvenile Looking at your pathetic effort is really just vile My eyes are bleeding here, but my raps will draw your blood The way you rap, you ain't fit to be anything but mud My flow is broken - but the way you say it is mistaken It's overpowered, unbeatable, leaving you forsaken Shaken by my ability, totally humiliated But when facing me that's just the way it was meant to be fated.

Battle 4: Jukkie vs. Xtremeblur
~The Score~

Jukkie: 0 Xtremeblur: 13

~The Raps~

Jukkie As I enter the scene, my rhymes be blowin' up Blur ain't never seen, the times they be showin' up Try as hard as you can, but you will never understand I shoot you down like an Afghan, smack you with my backhand

I can pop, I can roll, I can hit you with the southern soul This ain't no co-op, so go ahead troll, stroll on while I get my goal It just ain't your time, and with me it never will be This is my limelight nicca can ya feel me?

When ****in' with me you just outta your zone, you an afterthought Everything you do is for naught, go ahead and be distraught Try to appease me, followin' the bylaws, yell about my shortfalls You couldn't squeeze in these drawlz if you was my dick and balls

Xtremeblur Allow me to present a brief introduction - the name is Blur Newcomer to this rap battle junction, but a veteran prior So before you think you're facing a nobody, I'd like you to understand I've been rockin' the mic generations before your conception was planned

The eighth wonder of the world, a lyrical prowess so refined The words they assign to my mind are as of yet undefined And about my skill it seems to me you've been grossly misinformed The only afterthought here is your own "Nope, Unicorns"

There's a reason your paper's running away from you and your pens try to hide The lines that's coming outta that mouth are worse than GLaDOS' lies So please go back and retract all those rhymes you're readying in your reply You couldn't ghostwrite if your invisible ink pen died

Jukkie Beep, beep echo, your whole rap sounds like a song by Nickeback You repeat the flow, questionin' me? Step off son, you hella wack I may be all about unicorns, and rainbows, and pimpin' But you nothing but a Blur in name and with women

You gotta be better when you rappin' with the Jukkie I'm made outta cheddar, throw on a vest you can be my caddie I mix it up as I go, but I never drop the flow You stay low, that's the best position for you to blow

Now I know it's burden with your slow wit, but I gotta give you credit Like with your sister jam her, 31 times I've hit that ***** with my hammer Well this is it Blur the end of the show Don't feel bad, you just lost to a pro.

Xtremeblur My vocation is the vicious verbose I recite on occasion Jukkie's sloppy cop-outs are hastily bickering and lazily written impersonations Blur's the underground king with a sting so shattering it breaches land I panned my view to the sky as planned to induce a high that extended my wingspan

A rap mastermind comin' with the introspective, highly trained with no deception Turnin' the world upside down just to ease up your perspective, call it a blessin' Now I await the next contender who's ready to be slayed in various ways rarely seen Poor Anri's unaware he's up against the second coming of DC - I'll leave this last bit short and sweet

I Rock more than Aesop, my Technique's Immortalized Iller than Nas and more skill than Jurrassic 5 You're Doomed, MF, it's Ludacris to even try This battle is a bigger tragedy than the day that Pac died

Battle 5: Aeon Azuran vs. TheKnightOfNee
~The Score~

Aeon Azuran: TheKnightOfNee:

~The Raps~

Aeon Azuran

TheKnightOfNee

Aeon Azuran

TheKnightOfNee

Battle 6: sonicblastpunch vs. nintendogirl1
~The Score~

sonicblastpunch: 16 nintendogirl1: 6

~The Raps~

sonicblastpunch this charismatic conqueror of all mediums electric again selected to showcase the modern face of dialectic finds the quality of his opponent low for this release 'cause if incompetence were artwork you would be a masterpiece it's not to say i disbelieve yer chances of clever retorts but i'll tear through yer best defense like a chainsaw through pillow forts the forecast for my victory parade's sunny like tammy sytch once i've scrambled yer brains and rocked yer head like i'm biff slamkovich so get yerself resigned to bein decommissioned and delisted yer chances are like women on the internet, nonexistent or so bloated and hideous as to be an affront to god the widest girl in the whole world -- the broadest broad abroad so i'll take the food right from yer mouth when i'm proclaimed the winner because 'nintendogirl' rearranges to spell 'got nil dinner'

nintendogirl1 Illiterate, I knew you were, innumerate is new, In 12 bars come my answer, you can keep your extra two. You reckon you’re a conqueror, a dialectic warrior, I reprimand your thoughts in this, your attitude gets sorrier.

Conqueror Caesar, call me Brutus, Lord above Jesus, call me Judas. Those forced to listen to you, by now begging, “please god shoot us” So that’s two who face the beast, but now it’s Clay who’ll on you feast, Say your last words, I’ll play priest, floating, stinging with a rate increased.

You stand tall, for a man at the end, watching his life start to fail, I’d commend you for that, in an instant, a flash, if only you weren’t so frail, So I’ll pass on dinner, I’ve better then that, because in the cabinet next to me, Moet et Chandon, unopened as yet, and a schedule empty till 3.

sonicblastpunch i'd forgot yer alcoholism but thanks for the reminder that you've had it ever since yer momma drank with you inside her and i suspect once delivered you had been mistaken maybe for a fine martini 'cause it's clear you were a shaken baby even now as an adult you can't be counted on to eat yer dinner, dialogue and brain are all unformed and incomplete you mumble about pugilism as though success you're expectin you're swingin but never blockin cause yer face ain't worth protectin so when i select my star punch it'll leave yer vision swimmin just like tyson of punch-out i'm very skilled in beatin women but don't think yer gender is the reason you're sent packin home the problem's obviously yer extra twenty-first chromosome

nintendogirl1

You’re an underaged user to whom liquor makes sicker But that don’t give you the right to kick a vicar any quicker, And though I ain’t, ecclesiastic, I know you’ll find me, enthusiastic, As I dominate, trip the light fantastic, your overhaul is gonna be drastic And as for Tyson, to a point I agree, You’re the big name, sell-out, who served time in Cell B. Crimes against rhymes, against the Nurembergs of grammar, Sit with Hammer in the slammer, till you spit, not stammer. You’ve a woman beating Punch? So you’re a puppet collector, Leave it with Judy, I’m a much greater spectre, My communiques amaze, upon my gaze your look stays, But you don’t interest me, I got my cabriolets.

Battle 7: TimJab vs. Biolizard
~The Score~

TimJab: Biolizard:

~The Raps~

TimJab

Biolizard

TimJab

Biolizard

Battle 8: RustyMrMokka vs. ExThaNemesis
~The Score~

RustyMrMokka: 2 ExThaNemesis: 10

~The Raps~

RustyMrMokka Let’s start this off by saying tha name is Rusty The age that your at ExTha is making you look pretty dusty Ya wish you could be me and be playing tha game Except your on the sidelines watching my the rise to fame I know if I’d to Arsenal you’d get excited But I ‘d rather go to a good team like Manchester United Reason is that I’m gonna get paid, look over at my maid Gotta kick back so we both get laid Get another call bout for my next contract raise I’m tha only one to knows who enjoys this much praise The paparazzi wants a interview with me But I say **** them and the people know what type of person I am, y’all see

ExThaNemesis It has come to my attention that your vision’s lackin’ clarity. You’re hangin’ on to the disparity that with me and you there’s parity. In all the hilarity, I got the notion that I should help. By exposin’ that your flow’s as cold as the arctic ocean. It came out with no emotion, lacked any sort of devotion... ‘Coz if you think you can beat me, homie your head’s locked. Like a fan that thinks Manny still plays for the Red Sox. So let me fill you in on this Nemesis known as ExTha. I’m worse than white supremacists tryin’ to behead ya. It’s the Age of Me, it’s just like Randy Orton said, When we’re done the lines’ll say Rusty and his boys are dead. Killed by the man that hears voices inside his head.

RustyMrMokka Sorry Extha, you can’t keep up wit tha pace You seem to be in last in the middle of this race As always I’m just going way too fast And you gotta learn to stop livin in tha past Cause the future is upon us, you know I’m gonna win To help with your failure, I’ll send you some gin But that doesn’t help your very rough patch And now you want to have a match You’d lose just like Ortan in the middle of a ceil I might just send you to tha depths of hell And when your funeral starts up The people will start drinkin from their cups

ExThaNemesis Newspapers read that I bruise faces, I’m a true rapist. Six o’clock news anchors call me the new Jason! Displacin’ and replacin’ Mokka’s face with open spaces. Coz facin’ me’s like wearin’ cleats with no laces…. I’m like a killer from Detroit, and I don’t need steroids. But watch me when these A-Rod A-Bombs get deployed. So you and your three boys think that you can beat me boy? Well **** with me boy and watch your whole street get destroyed! It’s best you’re sticking with football man, coz this ain’t your career. You done seen what happened when you faced RAP’s Premier. And next time you wanna pick on ExTha’s Arsenal, remember. Every ***** that’s ever tried that got DISMEMBERED.

Battle 9: Swif7y vs. Forceful Dragon
~The Score~

Swif7y: 11 Forceful Dragon: 1

~The Raps~

Swif7y thou sayest that thou got the words to spit. but I feel like battling you is lowerin myself a bit. my heart provides a beat at first discreet, so come and listen. my lyrical biorhythm more vivid than a violent vision. i'll have this dragon hissin like a serpent's curses. my sick, ill & allergic verses purges your spirit's surface. your efforts will be worthless once my mind & the beat merges. to crush this verbal virgin with the words i'll be servin. FD is a just a novice at this rap rhyming process. i spit so swift it makes you nauseous, i'm hotter than cajun sauce is. so please accept your losses cause you're dealin with a colossus. so ahead of my time i cast shadows on watches.

Forceful Dragon Leave the 'thou's at home this is a board 8 battle Fronting ancient prattle, prepare to be rattled...

Don't look now but I'm chasing you, doggedly racin you Easily out pacing you with my elaborate ode Forcibly I'm erasing you, last place is embracing you Fully disgracing you, countless curses bestowed

You musta been high just to mimic my class Now I'm up to my thigh with my boot up your *** Infinite acceleration of my force through your mass

Those are the physics of rap, for the uneducated next to me you're unrated, your lyrics are hated You're the black sheep of rap, nearly unrelated

Swif7y your poetry is old to me, i'll eat your corrosively. you scared like you standin on the sidewalk with frozen feet. my foes repeat their styles so keep prayin the rosary. holdin holy beads hopelessly as swif7 finds souls to reap.

when i pierce FD's eardrums with my lyrical blade. it stabs bone, missin this mental slave's miniature brain. better maintain your distance, can't catch my sickness. what i use for toilet paper is your name on my **** list.

your physics or philosophy is comedy, your rap gets walked on. bet your last girl was a blow-up doll bought from ebay.com FD you can't handle this, you''ll suffer severe damages. more wounds and whiplashes than you can dress with 50 bandages.

Forceful Dragon A rappin battle with you marks the weakest of ails When you tally the "damage" I'm only hearin tall tales The facts of it is, to your blades I'm impervious I'm gonna lay it down slow so you better take note of this

I'm a symphonic rap prodigy, always center stage Masquerading your rage can't hide truth from my gaze You're severely ecclipsed in this, no hope of a tryst for us Even shakin off the rust I'm Zues to your Polyphemus

Does it disturb to lose even before you began? White Knight to Black Queen, outmaneuvered again But for the sake of your aches I'm easing my brakes In memory of your date with mistakes I'll say only; Checkmate.

Battle 10: Ayvuir vs. TheLastOblesik
~The Score~

Ayvuir: TheLastOblesik:

~The Raps~

Ayvuir

TheLastOblesik

Ayvuir

TheLastOblesik

Battle 11: swordsman12 vs. SensiShadeSlaye
~The Score~

swordsman12: 15 SensiShadeSlaye: 5

~The Raps~

swordsman12 So here’s my first opponent in this rap competition Soon Swiftly Slain by a tactician’s composition Lyrical ammunition leave ‘em in critical condition Call the rap mortician, demolition is my mission I sprung unexpected like the Spanish Inquisition You’re hung for high treason, ya disgrace the rap tradition

Six shots across the belly I’m gankin’ like R. Kelly I PvP on a *****, you’re a shattered Torricelli- Barometer, under too much stress the pressure’s breakin ya Andromeda, chained by lines but God’s forsaken ya No Perseus is savin ya, my sword pierces ya vertebra I murdered ya, Swordsman’s the king reignin’ o’er ya.

SensiShadeSlaye I’m supposing the quota in this rap institution Is that words ending in ‘ion’ are the only solution An’ on top of that the second winning formula Is using too many instances of ya ya ya

But ya see swords guy I’m a new revolution Ya could say I’m the face of the lyrical evolution Ya outdated yas will do ya no good against Sensei Rapping is my call an’ flow is my propensity

Ya call yaself the king but ya talkin’ to yer deity They refer to me as Cthlulu so kneel and swear fealty Otherwise I might be moved to make ya look at my face And force Cokes to hunt for another Rap Battle replace

swordsman12 So that’s the best you’ve got? I’m severely disappointed Elementary rhyming and a flow oh so disjointed I’m sendin’ out a sentry, find me better opposition Someone more creative than a nursery rhyme rendition Perhaps your verse was rushed or you aren’t a rappin’ native Maybe your ego’s crushed or your mind is vegetative You call yourself Cthlulu, the rapping evolution A brazen imitation well deserving execution! Look at your dire face? No one will suffer so hereafter Send ya to a higher place, then walk away in laughter One verse was made of “ions” but if anything is positive, When it comes to slaughter, it’s my rapping that is causative!

SensiShadeSlaye I must applaud you on yer verbatim and such For your words are “causativin’” my stomach to clutch But other then that well yer thesaurus is whack Yer attempted vocabulary has disrupted yer attack

Do you even understand what half yer words mean? I’m thinkin’ yer some kid attemptin’ to StealMySheen This is my story ya see and yer at the last chapter The climax of the book, the attack against the master

It’s a bloody epic battle it’s gotcha grabbin’ the pages You gotta know if the survivor is the hero of ages But you ain’t Link, kid, just some punk with a sword And Shade is the master of an endless demon horde

Battle 12: Fetusbucketeer vs. Seginustemple
~The Score~

Fetusbucketeer: Seginustemple:

~The Raps~

Fetusbucketeer

Seginustemple

Fetusbucketeer

Seginustemple

Battle 13: Cokes vs. DSRage
~The Score~

Cokes: DSRage:

~The Raps~

DSRage

Seginustemple

Cokes

DSRage

Battle 14: MaxedOutRyu vs. Rollthebones
~The Score~

MaxedOutRyu: Seginustemple:

~The Raps~

MaxedOutRyu

Rollthebones

MaxedOutRyu

Rollthebones

Battle 15: Shaggy vs. Furious J
~The Score~

Shaggy: Furious J:

~The Raps~

Shaggy

Furious J

Shaggy

Furious J

Battle 16: Princess Anri vs. AlecTrevelyan006
~The Score~

Princess Anri: AlecTrevelyan006:

~The Raps~

AlecTrevelyan006

Seginustemple

Princess Anri

AlecTrevelyan006