(3)Super Mario 64 vs (14)Mario Kart 8 2015

Ulti's Analysis
SFF beatdowns of the highest level always amuse me, and a Wii or Wii U game getting its ass handed to it on a plate also amuses me. This was a wonderful performance by Mario 64, and for those of us who picked it to make a deep run in this contest it's exactly the kind of no-mercy poll we were looking for.

On a deeper level for me, fuck the Mario Kart series. The only ones that are even remotely playable are Super Mario Kart and Mario Kart 64, because those are the games tat existed before things like blue shells, dual cars, snake drifting, and motion controls. Mind you, they're still garbage and I said remotely playable. The entire concept of rubberband AI and punishing the players who do well by giving good items to those in last place is a gigantic example of our "everyone gets a trophy, don't hurt anyone's feelings" PC culture. It helped raise an entire generation of entitled gamers that are unable to face reality. And why would they? They got to sit in front of Mario Kart and get handed blue shells and lightning bolts if they were in last place.

What's dumb is this crap is happening in the real world, too. No more tag, no more dodgeball, no more running at recess, nothing. You must be all-inclusive at all times because we can't hurt anyone's feelings. We can't teach anyone how to win by first teaching them how to lose. No more getting in fights. And now they want to ban words like mother, father, husband, wife, boy, and girl, because the liberal PC crowd and LGBT lobby will pretend to get offended if you're not trans-inclusive.

This video is not as impossible as you think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XM-HJT8_esM

Fuck Mario Kart and fuck equality. You're allowed to lose. Suck it up and deal with it. Thank you based Mario 64 for not even letting this trash break 20% on you.