Red Shifter

Red Shifter is this guy who sometimes decides to make a topic - often with no results. He is sometimes funny when he did not originate the topic of discussion, as evidenced by his "Duke Nukem" topic.

As a reformed Tribes 2 Classic player, Red Shifter had sworn to fulfill many duties in the name of the ancient machine, Dynamix. Which ones were completed, which ones were left incomplete, and which ones were just thrown in for fun? Your call.

Sworn Duties of the Red Shifter

 * To fit the word gospel into each of his duties
 * To spread the gospel of Zelda II
 * To not spread the gospel of Wind Waker
 * To wish he could spread the gospel of Tribes 2
 * To denounce the evil gospel of Halo
 * To uncover the truth of the new gospel
 * To seek the gospel of Tyrian 2000
 * To spread the gospel of Nintenchucks
 * To never spread the gospel of ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US (but to support it when spotted)
 * To rediscover the gospel of Shifty eyes through Mega Man 3
 * To selflessly toil over the Incredible Machine, the forgotten gospel of Dynamix
 * To pass judgment upon those who seek it, and provide a "lesson" that can only be described as the word of gospel
 * To acquire 500 topics, and hide the gospel within
 * To... MAYBE discover the gospel of Pokemon... but probably not
 * To stop the spread of Mario Kart and begin full support of the gospel known as F-Zero GX
 * To reawaken the forgotten gospel of Quest 64's music - specifically Brannoch Town
 * To show people the gospel of SHINON and why he is superior to ROLF
 * To randomly post "veh" in a topic and not let anyone know that it is true gospel
 * To completely hate upon Pinna Park whilst figuring out how to throw the word gospel in the same sentence
 * To spread the gospel of making cracks at M.C. Hammer, inside the Internet and out
 * To correct the use of In Before Lock with the gospel of iblock
 * To decide what topics are gospel to Bob Backlund, and are therefore authorized
 * To continue spreading the gospel of Midgar Zolom when nobody else will
 * To spread the gospel of Kevin Nash and the tears of the one quad

Red Shifter's History on GameFAQs

 * Originally, Red Shifter did not frequent social boards. He preferred video game boards.  That explains his lack of LUE.
 * Red Shifter always came into Board 8 during the Contest Season, but didn't become a regular until Summer 2005 Contest. He probably had about 900 Karma at the time he became a regular.
 * Red Shifter has contributed 1 FAQ to GameFAQs, but pulled it after the 25M topic. The FAQ was judged by UltimaterializerX to be of incredibly poor quality.  However, Red Shifter was contacted within the internal Tribes 2 community system by a reader of the FAQ after playing a 60-player game of Siege one time; undeniable proof that the FAQ made an impact on at most one person.  It has since been reposted.
 * Red Shifter was the first one to find Post 300M, and he proved it by being the first one to make a post within the topic. He tried to keep it secret to no avail; the post's location was being spread like wildfire within 25 minutes.  Even though he posted 25 minutes before any sort of invasion occured, his post was still deleted.
 * Red Shifter scored 78/80 points in the Spring 2006 Contest, yet he was stupid enough to put Silent Hill over Fire Emblem. Therefore, he has no chance at the prizes and will probably continue to not buy any games.

Red Shifter's History on Board 8

 * Famously, Red Shifter's first topic on Board 8 was Name a character, and I'll tell you why they'll lose to Cloud. After getting about 20 posts, he cashed in, responding to each user with "Because he fails at being the main character of Final Fantasy VII".
 * Usually in his beginning years, Red Shifter only made Zelda II references. In fact, his attempt at 25M was a topic called Zelda II still rules.
 * Red Shifter once made a seconds game called "60 Opinions", where you had to agree or disagree with one of 60 opinions. It was the closest he came to a 500 topic at the time, gaining 350+ posts before someone decided to counter ALL SIXTY OPINIONS.  It cut his topic short, but DAMN, when you think of the dedication required to keep it away from a 500 topic...
 * Red Shifter eventually started passing judgment on the users. The topic was very closely timed with 25M, and was lost during his purgatory.
 * After 25M, Red Shifter used an incredibly vocal alt that eventually became much better known than he was. Red Shifter refuses to reveal the alt, and the alt refuses to acknowledge Red Shifter; it's an endless cycle.
 * When Red Shifter returned to Board 8, it was not to incredible fanfare, but a bunch of people with broken spirit and mind.
 * Red Shifter stood around a few months, waiting for his chance to strike. He posted with some failed fads, one involving the RKO.
 * Red Shifter started passing judgment again, but ended shortly after Omega333 took his judgment literally ("live in reality"), suiciding his account in order to try and leave Board 8. Red Shifter is currently banned from passing judgment on 7 boards.
 * When Red Shifter heard about the 300,000,000th post, he found it on his Board Favorites. He made a topic saying he found it, but didn't reveal its location.  Some look at him as a hero for finding it, while some look at him as a brat for admitting he found the topic, while keeping its location secret from Board 8.
 * Red Shifter made his first 500 topic on Board 8 on July 8 2006 at 2:01 AM EST. The topic was called How fast can you delete something?  It reached 500 in 1 hour, 18 minutes, 48 seconds.  Alex Shelley had a nice spinoff called How fast can you hit the back button?  It was said to be the recipient of many XDs.
 * Red Shifter offically announced himself as swirldude's rival on August 22, 2006. Though, the history of the rivalry goes way back to Post 300,000,000.
 * On August 25, 2006, Red Shifter offically changed his gimmick from Zelda II fanboy to F-Zero GX fanboy.
 * On December 6, 2006, pushed on by the posting of Alex Shelley's How fast can you hit the back button? SECOND EDITION, he made the How fast can you delete something? SECOND EDITION topic. Because it was posted during the off-season, it did not meet with the success of the first topic, stangating around 324 posts after 1 hour, 26 minutes, and 31 seconds.  The failure of this topic was mostly because Red Shifter went to take a Wii60 (lol).  He locked it rather than have it fade away.
 * Red Shifter started a massive movement to nominate the Midgar Zolom in 2007 (after attempts from others failed in 2006) by telling people "not to listen to CJayC's lies". In preparation of this, he started making and collecting Zolom ASCIIs and eventually ended up with a large collection that he could quickly unload into a Zolomy ASCII Topic.  Red Shifter's efforts were not wasted, as he convinced maybe 10 people to nominate the Midgar Zolom once and for all.  Unfortunately, Midgar Zolom's votes against Cloud failed to reach OVER 9000!
 * During the 2007 Character Battle, Red Shifter decided it was time for a new gimmick and created a Kevin Nash topic series. It was based solely on jokes about quad-tearing and featured appearances of up and coming stars like Nasheroth and his blade, the Nashermune, which is widely considered to be Bob Backlund Authorized.

Famous Quotations of the Red Shifter

 * "Tribes 2 saved my life. I was totally going to go into game development until I saw what happened to Dynamix for having the balls to make a unique FPS that is not based on World War II."
 * "The moral majority is God's way of telling you to give up hope."
 * "It's F-Zero. F-ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERO!"
 * "Wait a minute. I just put your post into a spellchecker and it didn't detect CRONHO. So what the hell does it mean?  I'm going to have to google it.  ...it appears to me that there is a game called Cronho Trigger. It's the Spanish translation of Chrono Trigger.  Could it be that Fakertyu Mark Two should be renamed... Faketya Marca Dos?"
 * "Because of Smurf, you proved that you're willing to argue in favor of Nintendo. You proved that Nintendo should be much more popular than it is now. You proved... your LOVE of Nintendo. And isn't that more important than trying to push Smurf out of Board 8?" (Full version here)
 * "I would continue to make my point, but I digress. You are not worthy of my opinion. Oh well. You ignore every single point someone makes and just try to find a single sentence that is only explained TWO !#^%ING SENTENCES DOWN THE #@!@ING LINE and say that it's not directly relevant to your personal interests. The only reason I posted this is because I thought that maybe, just maybe, someone would actually get something out of this post... because you won't."
 * "Halo basically takes all the boring parts of Tribes (shields, vehicles) and combines them with traditional weaponry to make a Sci-Fi game where headshots with shotguns are still one hit kills. Combat Evolved my ass. You know what's truly Combat Evolved? Tribes 2. You have 60 player games (hadn't been done before), realistic vehicle physics, and everything that made Tribes so great (except super speed skiing). Anyway, I know this is 505 characters. Quite frankly, I don't have an NES to play. Whatever."