Why Did They Lose?/2011

A different lurker picked Why Did They Lose? up for Rivalry Rumble - with Igordebraga again doing topics when necessary, plus updating the wiki page.

NOTE: Reasons that are listed in BOLD are Dr. Pizza's favorites of all-time.

Round 1
No Lance, it's alright. I know. But how...? Because... I was part of that tribe of karate gypsies who voted for Ryu/Ken. - Kamekguy Jecht: **** you. - Dark Young Link
 * 1) Earthworm Jim vs. Queen Slug-for-a-Butt lost because... becase Ertyu drew prncess whats her name in sted of Queen slut for a butt in his battle pic by mistake. - Tornadoman78 HONORABLE MENTION Queen slug's milkshake did not bring all the boys to the yard. - LazyKenny
 * 2) Conker vs. The Great Mighty Poo lost because... S*** happens. - Ultimaphazon
 * 3) Jill Valentine vs. Nemesis lost because... STAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/6400000/Kirby-Super-Star-Ultra-kirby-6482532-1024-768.jpg - Some_Character
 * 4) Katherine vs. Catherine lost because... Sonic was whored-out while Catherine was out-whored. - Some_Character
 * 5) Captain Falcon vs. Black Shadow lost because... X/0 = INFINITE VOTES (WarThaNemesis2)
 * 6) Guybrush Threepwood vs. LeChuck lost because... How appropriate. You vote like a cow. - DeathChicken
 * 7) Ezio Auditore da Firenze vs. Rodrigo lost because... Ezio put down his controller after he "defeated" K. Rool. - greatone10
 * 8) Leon Kennedy vs. Ada Wong lost because... Two words: Freezer Burn. - Dark Young Link
 * 9) Jim Raynor vs. Sarah Kerrigan lost because... Confused Halo fans thought they were voting for the machinima. - TsunamiXXVIII
 * 10) Cecil Harvey vs. Golbez lost because... Expecting a reason? TOO BAD. WALUIGI TIME. - WhiteLens
 * 11) Ratchet vs. Dr. Nefarious lost because... To Dr. Nefarious, this was his first contest, the most important day of his life. To Ryu and Ken... it was Tuesday. - Anagram; RUNNER-UP Oh Janice, my love. I have a confession. I... voted for Ryu/Ken. It's not my fault, I was kidnapped by a tribe of karate gypsies as a child.
 * 1) Yuna vs. Seymour Guado lost because... Ulti - Forceful_Dragon RUNNER-UP Yuna just needed to Seymour votes. - legendmusketeer
 * 2) The Kid vs The Guy lost because... The vote button kept killing The Kid. - ZX_Lucian
 * 3) Vyse vs. Galcian lost because... Because "impossible" is just a word people use to describe Vyse's chances at victory." - Anagram RUNNER-UP "Because I wanted them to." - Terra Branford
 * 4) Dan Hibiki vs. Sagat lost because... Nobody wanted to vote for Dan Sagat, Bob Saget's less talented brother - GTM RUNNER-UP It seems the glorious Saikyo style has not yet achieved Complete.Global.Saturation -Ultimaphazon
 * 5) Tidus vs. Jecht lost because... Tidus: Win a tag team match? You can't even raise a son!
 * 1) Arthas vs. Illidan lost because... Link has the COURAGE to stand up to any opponent and Ganondorf has the POWER to beat them. - Sakurafanboy
 * 2) Tom Nook vs. Crazy Redd lost because... Nook told Amaterasu she had until sunset to pay off her debt. - Solfadore
 * 3) Meat Boy vs. Dr. Fetus lost because... Zidane and Kuja said "Fetus", and were fed Meat Boy. - TsunamiXXVIII
 * 4) Banjo vs Gruntilda lost because... Their fanbase was a bit too niche/To give the win to bear and witch - paperwarrior
 * 5) Gordon Freeman vs. Dr. Breen lost because... Tell me, Dr. Freeman, if you can. You have lost so much. What is it, exactly, that you have won? Can you name even one contest? I thought not. - DeathChicken
 * 6) Commander Shepard vs. Saren Arterius lost because... Votes for Shepard vs. Saren were only available as pre-order DLC. - dexter28
 * 7) Ness vs. Giygas lost because... "Is Giygas one of the sub-bosses before Master Hand or something?" - FrostMage82
 * 8) Raiden vs. Vamp lost because... It even rained the day of the match! - Anagram
 * 9) Lloyd Irving vs. Kratos Aurion lost because... Sephiroth:"YOU THINK YOU HAVE MOMMY ISSUES? LET ME SHOW YOU MOMMY ISSUES!" - Haguile
 * 10) Professor Layton vs. Don Paolo lost because... They didn't. Don Paolo advanced disguised as Kratos. - Xiahou Shake
 * 11) Crash Bandicoot vs. Neo Cortex lost because... Neo Cortex killed Crash and he became a ghost. You know what happened next. -swirIdude
 * 12) Crono vs. Lavos lost because... Crono took a gamble, but rolled Snake eyes. - legendmusketeer
 * 13) Laharl vs. Mid-Boss lost because... Never bring a sword to a gunblade fight. - GenesisSaga
 * 14) Ramza Beoulve vs. Delita Hyral lost because... They actually won, but the church doesn't want you to know that. - Evillordexdeath Runner Up They had L I T T L E M O N E Y - Justin_Crossing
 * 15) Sol Badguy vs. Ky Kiske lost because... PSYCHO KILLER, Ky Kiske fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa, better run run, run run run awaaaaaaaaayyyyyy - colliding
 * 16) William B.J. Blazkowicz vs. Adolf lost because... The Keyblade kills Nobodies and Heartless, so Blazkowicz and Hitler were doomed from the start - WweJth

Round 2
(Bowser bites Black Knight’s left arm off) The Black Knight: Tis’ but a scratch! (Bowser bites Black Knight’s right arm off) The Black Knight: Just a flesh wound! (Mario and Bowser set Black Knight on fire) The Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs! (Ike walks away) The Black Knight: Alright…we’ll call it a draw… (Black Knight turns into ash) - WweJth You other brothers can't deny That when the censors walk in with an itty bitty brain And no humor to their name You get Bartz! - kevwaffles''' So they're finally here, voting for you If you know the stats, you can laugh too Put your hands on your mouse like you want to clap As we take you through this crappy match! HUH! -Haguile Blastoises are blue Waluigi got creamed And is now purple goo - GenesisSaga Ryu: Can't let you do that, Star Fox! - greatone10''' Edgeworth: You stole our votes, and make bracket voters your slaves! Dracula: What is a lawyer?! A miserable pile of objections! Phoenix: OBJEC...F***! - kevwaffles RUNNER-UP - This was a failure. I'm making a note here: Huge Protest It's hard to overstate my irritation. Frog vs Magus. What is so good about those two? They haven't had a game in years, Except for those dumb remakes. But there's no sense crying over every match loss We'll just keep on trying until our votals are boss So good luck to you two, you've earned the right to go through Until this contest is won by Link. I'm still a bit angry. I'm being so sincere right now. I really should have won that match you know that? The voters were stupid. They just up and threw their votes away. As they clicked it hurt because I'm so much better than you. Now the X-Stats say that you are stronger than me But I'll beat you someday just you wait and see Next time I'll have my run, and I'll get so much done Until this contest is won by Link. Go head and leave me. I think I prefer to end right here. Maybe you'll go far in this after all. Maybe you'll win this. THAT WAS A JOKE. HAHA. FAT CHANCE. Anyways that match was bad It was a complete farce. Look at me still talking while the bracket moves on By the next match you have I'll be long gone. I've better things to do than watch you two Until this contest is won by Link. And believe me it'll be won by Link. It will always be won by Link. Just wait for it to be won by Link. I'll watch it be won by Link. I lost but who cares it will be won by Link. Won by Link. Won by Link... - JeffreyRaze
 * 1) Ike vs. Black Knight lost because... It's safe to assume that it was somehow Meg's fault." - mcflubbin RUNNER-UP The Black Knight: None shall win!
 * 1) Kirby vs. Meta Knight lost because... Too many people picked Meta Knight in the first round, so he was banned. - Pondos RUNNER-UP During the battle, Kirby mistakenly absorbed Eggman's ability. Unfortunately, Eggman's only ability is losing to Sonic. - mcflubbin
 * 2) '''Bartz vs. Gilgamesh lost because... I like big Butz and I can not lie!
 * 1) Donkey Kong vs. King K. Rool: H-H-H...Here we go!
 * 1) Luigi vs. Waluigi lost because... They were about to win, but Red and Blue sold 8 nuggets for 40,000 votes - WweJth RUNNER-UP Charizards are red
 * 1) '''Fox McCloud vs. Wolf O'Donnell lost because...Fox: Hey Ryu and Ken, can we go to the next round?
 * 1) Terra Branford vs. Kefka Palazzo lost because... Because right when Kefka was about to land the final blow he was incapacitated by a baby Metroid. - Dark Surge 6
 * 2) Chris Redfield vs. Albert Wesker lost because... Contests are a living thing. They change along with the times. Yesterday's Resident Evil 4 might be tomorrow's Resident Evil 5. - Anagram
 * 3) Amaterasu vs. Orochi lost because... They say the pen is mightier than the sword...too bad the brush wasn't. - Pirateking2000
 * 4) Zidane Tribal vs. Kuja lost because... Now I'm not saying it had anything to do with Wily being German and Kuja and Zidane being of a different race. But I'm not saying it didn't, either. - kevwaffles
 * 5) Phoenix Wright vs. Miles Edgeworth lost because... Alucard: Victory is too good for you. Enjoy the rest of the contest in the space between trials.
 * 1) Chell vs. GLaDOS lost because... You know, being in this contest just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest. Winning contests is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody voted for me, or put me in a genderswap topic, or asked why I lost. I had a pretty good life. And then I entered a contest. This dangerous, GameFAQs lunatic contest. So you know what? You win. Just go on to the next round. It's been fun. Don't come back. - Anagram
 * 1) Kratos vs. Zeus lost because... Who? Forgive me, but I can't be expected to remember each contestant's failure. Unless you become another Brawl. Yes, Brawl... That failure was brilliant. Perhaps too brilliant... - Anagram
 * 2) Pac-Man vs. Blinky lost because... Pacman can only deal with Gaseous enemies, not Solids or Liquids. -Wanglicious
 * 3) Siegfried Schtauffen vs. Nightmare lost because... People were confused by the poll. "Nightmare? I thought his name was 'Roy'!" - TheCodeIsBosco
 * 4) Dante vs. Vergil lost because... http://www.omgimages.net/img/1130/124877.png - GTM

Round 3

 * 1) Sonic the Hedgehog vs Dr. Robotnik lost because... Sonic might be able to run faster than the speed of sound, but when it comes to their games Mario and Bowser just have the better track record. - GenesisSaga RUNNER-UPS It's freaking Mario! - Anagram / People wanted to vote for Sonic but had Mario in their bracket, so they decided to hedge their bets instead of their hogs. - FrostMage82
 * 2) Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion lost because... Obviously people are hastily voting for Zero when they mean to vote for Sub Zero. I guess they don't realize that Sub-Zero is below Zero oh ho ho ho - MarvelousGerbil/LeonhartFour
 * 3) Ryu vs. Ken lost because... Every time someone voted for the fighters, their rival appeared and shouted, "In that case, I'll choose the trainers!" - Kenri RUNNER-UP: Instead of taking on the Fighters themselves, Red and Blue sent out Charizard and Blastoise. Ryu and Ken took out Blastoise with ease... but unfortunately for them, Charizard resists the Fighting-type - TheCodeIsBosco
 * 4) Big Boss vs. The Boss lost because... Big Boss tried to capture and eat Ridley, but he was simply TOO BIG. - GenesisTwilight
 * 5) Mega Man vs. Dr. Wily lost because... Mega Man was about to win the match when Capcom saw how excited everyone got and decided to cancel his participation - ScareChan
 * 6) Frog vs. Magus lost because... All part of the plan. - Edouble_is_back RUNNER-UP What is a frog? Something that beats Magus. - Shoenin_Kakashi
 * 7) Solid Snake vs. Liquid Snake lost because... http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/2521/zolom.png - Emporer_Kazbar
 * 8) Sora vs. Riku lost because... Well. I guess that match was undeniable proof that Squall and Seifer totally owned those lamers. - GenesisSaga

Quarterfinals

 * 1) Mega Man X vs. Zero lost because... Sorry, but one Mega Man x Zero is still zero. - Pirateking2000
 * 2) Samus Aran vs. Ridley lost because... Samus: "I still can’t believe my dragon lost to you, Red vs Blue! You’re now the GameFAQs Rivalry Rumble champion! …Or, you would have been, but you have one more challenge ahead. You have to face another Rivalry! His name is… Mario vs Bowser! He beat the Elite Four before you. He is the real GameFAQs Rivalry Rumble champion!" - GTM
 * 3) Alucard vs. Dracula lost because... What a horrible night to have a curse. *Sun's Song* The morning sun has vanquished the horrible night. - Kenri RUNNER-UP: Alucard... Alucard, where art thou? Come hither. Oh Alucard, the plan, listen to my words... The words of Dracula... Dost thou sense it? The shadow of LAW is descending upon this round. Nintendo's forces even are now mustering at attack my castle. For so long, my castle, the source of our victories, stood as a symbol, deterring outsiders like Phoenix Wright versus Edgeworth and Frog versus Magus. But before these tremendous Hyrulian powers, even my power is as nothing. It seems the time has come for the rivalry without a Noble Niner to end its journey. Our destiny which was is to lead Castlevania on the path of victory and success. Alucard, go now! Wait for the next contest and guide yourself to victory. I do not have much time left. Fly, Alucard, fly! The fate of Castlevania, nay, the Plan, depends upon thee! - Anagram
 * 4) Squall Leonhart vs. Seifer Almasy lost because... They actually got more votes, but most were thrown out when the admins discovered that they were all from the same orphanage. - Anagram

Semifinals
RUNNER-UP: '''Bowser: I wanna win a woman's heart Like no kid ever has To snatch Peach is my best start And then I'll tap that aaaaass! RAWR! Mario: I will traverse the galaxy Jumping-a far and wide Mama Mia, another pipe!? Guess I'll have to-a go inside... ~_~ Both: Princess Peach! It's you and me I know you're my destiny Princess Peach! Oh, I love your back end And your cake I will defend Princess Peach! Oh, it's sad but true My sex drive will pull me through You kiss me and I'll save you Priiiiiincess Peaaaaach, gotta get dat ass! GOTTA GET DAT A~A~ASS! PRINCESS PEACH! - GenesisSaga'''
 * 1) Pokémon Trainer Red vs. Pokémon Trainer Blue lost because... http://www.gamefaqscontests.com/gallery/albums/rivals/rivals-61-1.jpg - firefdr
 * 1) Cloud Strife vs. Sephiroth lost because... Cloud fought the LAW and the LAW won. - greatone10

Third place match

 * 1) Cloud Strife vs. Sephiroth lost AGAIN because... So you just got your ass handed to you against Link and Ganon, and while you're still surviving and getting to an Inn, guess who you run into? GARY MOTHER****ING OAK. - ZX_Lucian RUNNER-UP Roses are Red Violets are Blue People Lied Then Aeris Died - Shoenin_Kakashi

Finals

 * 1) Mario vs. Bowser lost because... It is written: "Only Jay Solano can defeat Link." - TheCodeisBosco RUNNER-UP http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g352/AnagramGF/Mario1.png - Anagram