The B8

Intro Song
We've been on the run

Posting in the sun.

Looking out for contest fun.

GameFAQs here we come.

Right back where we started from.

Ertyu's draws tornadoman

jp weighs a ton

Aga got the ban

GameFAQs here we come

Right back where we started from

-Smurf

 

Episode 1: Pilot
''It can be tough being the new guy in a new, foreign place. Growing up in the mean streets of Malibu, I thought I had seen it all. Little did I know that I had hardly learned to live at all.''

Shelley: Steve, why did we have to move again?

''Steve was my brother. ...And father, and mother. Somehow, all at the same time. And we were expecting a new baby sister in a month.''

leadrboardsteve: The same reason we're saying our names then "colon" before we say anything. The script calls for it.

"Shelley colon. But Steve, it just doesn't make sense!" Alex Shelley argued, stamping his foot and dropping the box he was carrying. The sound of glass shattering rang out, but he didn't care. He was the new guy in a new, foreign place. He had thought he had seen it all, but little did he know that he had hardly learned to live at all. It was a cause for alarm.

"leadrboardsteve colon. Dad got a new job, bro. Get used to it. Why, I've had to move eighteen times before you were born for the same reason!"

"...We're twins, Steve."

"You forgot Shelley col-..."

"Forget the colons! This is a problem! I just turned 18 for the second time in my life and I'm the new guy in a new, foreign place who thought he had seen it all but little did I know that I had hardly learned to..."

At this point, Steve did what he did best. He pretended to call himself into the bedroom for some hot, steamy parental sex. This was my cue to get out of the house and quick. Besides, I guessed that it wouldn't hurt to go explore the town... Meet some new friends, enemies, black people, rebels, goths, angry teachers, somebody who I'll only see once every ten days... The norm.

I had to get started somewhere. I had a new life to start... A new life in........... The B8.

I'm Alex Shelley. The new guy.

And I like narrating things.

And butts and butts and butts.

' Do do do dooo. Do do do dooo. Do do do dooo. Do do do dooooooooooo.'

''The B8 was a strange place... A place where everybody seemed just a little off. Walking through town, I took the time to take in my surroundings. It all seemed foreign to me, because I was the new guy who thought he had seen it all, but I figured I could get used to it with time.''

"And number 1... Is Ed Bellis!"

"Oh, shut up! I did not stay up all night for you to feed your own ego! What the crunk?!"

''Street performers listing "Top 50" lists, people interrupting each other with Fresh Prince lyrics... I didn't know what to make of this strange place. I didn't know if I'd ever fit in. I didn't know if I'd ever have a buddy, a pal, a best friend of mine.''

"Hey buddy, hey pal! Hey best friend of mine!"

Shelley turned, confused at the voice interrupting his narration. There stood a man looking to be about 36, yet obviously Shelley's exact age of 18. Shelley raised a curious eyebrow, not sure what to make of him.

"...What?"

"Don't you recognize me? Your best friend, Poot!" the "boy" proclaimed, jabbing himself in the chest with his thumbs. Shelley raised his other eyebrow, forgetting to lower the first one and now looking too surprised.

"...What?"

"That's right! I'm your key to the B8, remember? I know everybody, all the hot spots, and how to make it!"

"...What?"

''I had a feeling that there had been more time between scenes, yet to please network execs, things had been cut out. I rolled with it, because that's what I did. Roll. Hobos, specifically.''

"...What?"

Poot frowned, shaking his head.

"Oh, come on. Stop playing, man!"

Shelley just shrugged, playing along. Poot began to point to random people as they walked.

"That's War. He's hilarious. And that's Criona. And that? Well... Stay away from them."

Shelley looked to where Poot was pointing. Two guys were headed their way.

''I looked to where he was pointing. Two guys were headed my way. ...And Poot's. But mostly mine, because this is my damn story.''

"Well, well, well... What do we have here?" One of the guys asked, clicking his tongue obnoxiously. He ran a hand through his hair, dropping a few hundred dollar bills. "Whoops! How clumsy of me!"

"...Are you trying to show off that you're rich?" Shelley asked, eyeing the money.

"Are you trying to show off that you're not?!" The guy shot back, coughing a bit, then spitting out a few Benjamins. The guy next to him laughed, raising his hand.

"Put in His Place Five!"

Somehow, the high five never made it, as a boy ran by, intercepting it without a word, then running off. The two stared after him, then shrugged, the first guy picking a few twenties out of his teeth.

"You must be the new guy. The name's Smurf. And this awesome in human form? He's The SEP. I run this town... Though not really. That's just a way of saying that I'm hot stuff and you're not."

The SEP nodded eagerly.

"Yeah! So just stay out of his way and... Be new, Mr. Newy McNewGuy!"

The two laughed. Poot cowered behind Shelley, who simply blunk.

"Okay."

Smurf stepped closer, poking Shelley hard in the chest.

"I don't like your tone. Do you know who you're messing with? ...I'm Smurf. I'm a big deal. And The SEP? He's captain of the football team, the baseball team's MVP, the entire soccer team, lacrosse captain, track star, president of the sewing club... The list goes on. Are you... Scared?"

Shelley blunk again, because blunking seemed to be the thing to do. ...Blinking. Blunking. ...Bliunking.

"Uh... Sure."

Smurf stared him down for a second, then seemed satisfied.

"Don't mess with me, Holmes."

He walked past the two, not looking back. The SEP followed, looking as if to take a punch at Poot, then stopping short and laughing.

"Flinch Five!"

...Again, it was intercepted. The SEP frowned, confused.

"...Who the hell is that?"

'Do do do dooo. Do do do dooo. Do do do dooo. Do do do dooooooooooo.'