Why Did They Lose?/2007

PrivateBiscuit1 brought Why Did They Lose? back for Character Battle VI. Although Dr. Pizza actually planned on bringing it back before hand.

NOTE: Reasons that are listed in BOLD are Dr. Pizza's favorites of all-time.

Round 1
But hark! The theme of Frog hast begun resounding in the background. And Frog did take the Masamune and hold it high. And he proclaimeth: "Be gone, Kerrigan, and Axel, thou whost belongs in the world of demons." And with his mighty cleave, Frog hath carved that mountain in two. (TheKnightOfNee)
 * 1) Rikku & Vaan lost because... Rikku: Too girly - Vaan: See Rikku (baubeta)
 * 2) Arthas Menethil & Diablo lost because... The "Blizzard" made KOS-MOS's nipples hard. (StifledSilence)
 * 3) Axel & Sarah Kerrigan lost because... Lo, then Axel hath taken the lead from thy protagonist.
 * 1) Agent 47 & Kratos Aurion lost because... Midna and Scorpion weren't 47's targets. Kratos was. 47 fiberwired him and left. (VeryVeryLongNam)
 * 2) Tom Nook & Zelos Wilder lost because... There was no "animal crossing" sign on the road and Nook got hit by a car. Ironically, Zelos was driving the car and got hauled off to jail for drunk driving. (StifledSilence)
 * 3) Jill Valentine & Midgar Zolom lost because... &lt;Zolomy ASCII&gt; "hay guys i let cloud win LOLZ" (Silverliner182V)
 * 4) Chris Redfield & Pyramid Head lost because... P.Head was confused when he tried to mind**** Chris, only to find he had absolutely no personality or thought. This startling revelation meant his downfall as well as Chris'. (baubeta)
 * 5) Mewtwo & Toad lost because... Toad and Mewtwo asked "Can we advance to the next round?" and Ryu replied "Oh no, I'm not falling for that again." (Kenri)
 * 6) CATS & Peach lost because... Peach saw CATS low vote total and asked "OOOOOOOH, did I win?" to which Meta Knight replied "No." (Mershiness)
 * 7) Banjo & Captain Falcon lost because... All was going well for Captain Falcon until Banjo mistook him for a real bird and shoved him into his backpack. (almightyblue)
 * 8) Pac-Man & Wander lost because... Pac-Man and Wander knew nobody would be able to come up with a creative reason for them losing, so they threw the match just to watch everybody's futile and lame attempts at providing a good reason to the defeat. (OrangeJC)
 * 9) Bomberman & Crash Bandicoot lost because... "OBJECTION! *Slams desk* The question isn't how they lost....*dramatic music, action lines* it was how they were even close to beating me in the first place!!" (EpicBigKevinm84) EXTRA BONUS: http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=2187742 (Dr Pizza)
 * 10) Agent J & Miles Edgeworth lost because... ****ing 4chan. (RayDyn)
 * 11) Tails & The Boss lost because... Because there's only room for one boss and one fox in the second round.....and Big Boss and Fox already advanced. (Jedibaracuda)
 * 12) Sam Fisher & Simon Belmont lost because... It was a horrible night to have a curse. (Janus5000)
 * 13) Lloyd Irving & Jak lost because... After a long year of quiet contemplation, Zero... FINALLY FOUND OUT WHAT HE WAS FIGHTING FOOOOOOOOOOOOOR! Then Lloyd and Jak just didn't stand a chance. (Blizz Kid)
 * 14) Pit & Tingle lost because... I couldn't care less, but if I have to see the phrase "so i herd u liek mudkipz" one more god damned time....heads will roll. (chocoboslayer)
 * 15) Ratchet & Thrall lost because... The match wasn't on a Tuesday. (Kenri)
 * 16) PaRappa & Tommy Vercetti lost because... -Shoot, Jump it's all in the mind / ...If you wanna test Chief I'm sure you'll find, / With the things he'll teach, he just cant be beat. / Now he's cranking it up with the A-S-V. / So come on now, why don’tcha follow the votes / We’re not done yet, but you're getting smoked / He wants ta see if you wanna see what it takes / To be the man with the Master plan. / Are you the man now? (Forceful Dragon)
 * 17) Ness & Zidane Tribal lost because... Alucard's plan lives on... THROUGH THIS ARM! (Paratroopa1)
 * 18) Little Mac & Matt lost because... Matt stole Mac's bike! (SideshowBob311)
 * 19) Frank West & Jade Curtiss lost because... This is one kind of war Frank hasn't covered. (Paratroopa1)
 * 20) Isaac & Serge lost because... Tidus mistook Pikachu for a small chocobo and rode right into the next round. (guffguy89)
 * 21) Ridley & Spyro The Dragon lost because... Unlike Billy and Jimmy Lee, these Double Dragons can't put up a good fight. (kirbyjump)
 * 22) Laharl & Nathan Hale lost because... Laharl and Nathan aren't geometric shapes. (Azn Psycho)
 * 23) Marth & Prince of All Cosmos lost because... We were not pleased by their small percentage. No, not at all. Far too small. Too puny. (Janus5000)
 * 24) Rayman & Vyse lost because... I Feel Asleep. And Woke Up From A Nightmare. (Dr Pizza)
 * 25) Haseo & Roxas lost because... Haseo was the fast-talking, athletic new star quarterback at Organization XIII High School. But when Axel gets jealous of the admiration that his boyfriend Roxas seems to have for the new hottie, what lengths will he go to in his jealousy? Will he start flirting with school goth Riku? M/M, Yaoi, PWP, AU, WAFF, BDSM, OMC, MPreg, WTF (Sir Bormun)
 * 26) Akuma & Geno lost because... Aeris asked Squall if he could insert disc 2, and he said "...Whatever." (Dr Pizza)
 * 27) Albert Wesker & Daxter lost because... (roseille)
 * 28) Ike & Guybrush Threepwood lost because... Gordon may have fought like a dairy farmer, but Ike and Guybrush fought like cows. (Inviso)
 * 29) Prince of Persia & Viewtiful Joe lost because... Time wasn't on their side. (guffguy89)

Round 2

 * 1) Knuckles the Echidna & KOS-MOS lost because... An emerald is a girl's best friend. (swirldude)
 * 2) Frog & Midna lost because... You must be at least this tall to progress to the next round:




 * 1ft




 * --- (MetaKz)
 * 1) Kefka & Revolver Ocelot lost because... They had trouble filling out their forms to advance to round 3. Kefka couldn't fill in the last name line and security got suspicious when Ocelot wrote "sadistic torturer" as his profession. (Blizz Kid)
 * 2) Shadow The Hedgehog & Bowser lost because... Like the moon over / the day, that DAMN fourth chaos / emerald was lost. (Janus5000)
 * 3) Meta Knight & Wario lost because... Meta Knight released Heavy Lobster, but Wario mistook it for a real lobster and ate it. (Paratroopa1)
 * 4) Magus & Phoenix Wright lost because... Big Boss presented false evidence of himself being Solid Snake. The Judge did not penalize him. (swirldude)
 * 5) Bidoof & Zelda lost because... Zelda left her beaver unguarded. (Dark Young Link)
 * 6) Raiden & HK-47 lost because... Wanting to Replace Robo, Crono went to the store to find a new partner. It was between an Emo Gender Confused Robot, A whining Fembot, or a Droid bent on Human Genocide. He made his Decision. (BIGPUN9999)
 * 7) Mudkip & Vergil lost because... Dear 4chan, YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR! Sincerely, The users of GameFAQs (Dr Pizza)
 * 8) Liquid Snake & Alucard lost because... Living on through this arm is not part of The Plan. (Warsola)
 * 9) Ada Wong & Balthier Bunansa lost because... Those dogs always were a problem in Resident Evil... (Big Bob)
 * 10) Tidus & Vivi Ornitier lost because... Pikachu used SFF! It's super effective! (Big Bob)
 * 11) Kirby & Donkey Kong lost because... There's no L in team, nor is there one in Nintendo. (Inviso)
 * 12) Nightmare & Ryu Hayabusa lost because... Riku tortured the competition by going on a 24 hour monologue about darkness. Snake is used to enduring torture so he survived. The others... were not so lucky. (Tien25)
 * 13) Aeris Gainsborough & Lara Croft lost because... Apparently being feminine is more effective than being female. (somdude04)
 * 14) Duke Nukem & Gordon Freeman lost because... Duke Nukem does two things: Lose contests and chew bubblegum. And he's all outta gum. He blames Freeman for believing Stride was simply a gimmick. (StealThisSheen)

Round 3

 * 1) Yoshi & Scorpion lost because... Yoshi wouldn't GET OVER HERE, so Scorpion couldn't ride him into the next round. (Kenri)
 * 2) Marcus Fenix & Auron lost because... Much like Auron, everyone died. But Ryu got a second round, and Cloud had Fenix down. (FalconPain)
 * 3) Fox McCloud & Big Boss lost because... Seeing Fox, Big Boss thought he was back in the jungle on a mission, and wasted the day killing and eating his opponent. (Inviso)
 * 4) Crono & Zero lost because... They decided to stay dead. (Janus5000)
 * 5) Ganondorf & Yuna lost because... "Ganonpork" and "Yunafish Sandwiches" were on Master Chef's menu. "Luiguine" was not. (Tatl)
 * 6) Amaterasu & Leon Kennedy lost because... Dante threw his Pokeball in the air and unleashed Pikachu, while Leon did the same and unleashed Amaterasu. A battle ensued. The victors moved on. (guffguy89)
 * 7) Kratos & Riku lost because... Shaped like a boot to kick your ass! (KamikazePotato)
 * 8) Sora & Sub-Zero lost because... Sonic showed Sub-Zero some SoraxSquall slash stories Sora sent, so Sub-Zero sought suicide. Sonic soon sent Squall some, so Squall swiftly severed Sora's spine. (SuperSmash Master)

Quarterfinals

 * 1) Mega Man & Ryu lost because... Samus and Cloud asked if they could win. Ryu said "NO!" But then Mega Man had Ryu's powers from defeating him last year and screamed "SHOR-YU-KEN!" (PrivateBiscuit1)
 * 2) Mario & Vincent Valentine lost because... Mario was stuck in a galaxy far, far away, and Vincent got tag teamed by Sephiroth and Link after boasting himself with a "Terrific Ten" T-shirt. (OneMoreBullet)
 * 3) Luigi & Pikachu lost because... Their victory got pushed back to February. (roseille)
 * 4) Sonic the Hedgehog & Squall Leonhart lost because... L-BLOCK. (HoboV3)

Semifinals

 * 1) Samus Aran & Sephiroth lost because... With no "L" in their names, they did not have the blessing of the all powerful L-Block. (MetaKz)
 * 2) Master Chief & Dante lost because... Being disguised as a cardboard block, Solid Snake avoided the wrath of L Block kicking Dante and Master Chief's asses. (kyl14)

Finals

 * 1) Cloud Strife & Solid Snake lost because... sovietgamefaqs.ytmnd.com (Falcon120)
 * 2) Link was second because... (not saved... )

BONUS. Paddle & Weighted Companion Cube lost because... The ? Block contained a Starman. (BIGPUN9999).