Book of Tweek

The Book of Tweek that has been posted thus far:

Tweek agreed to God that it looked good. The Universe had been created. Tweek saw one little problem and knew that it could be fixed; Tweek was to roam among the people, spreading the word of God and diminishing all evil. --Tweek 1:01

In order for Tweek to prove that he was a prophet from God, Tweek requested a favor. God, who could not resist Tweek’s puppy dog eyes, agreed to the favor and gave Tweek his mage powers. --Tweek 1:04

Tweek held the mage powers (which were kept in a triangle) over his head when God gave them to him. --Tweek 1:06

Tweek told God that there needed to be a way for reproduction, or the men of Earth would die out. God thought about it for 29 days and 29 nights. Finally, Tweek suggested "women". God thought about Tweek's proposition for 19 days and 19 nights. Tweek became impatient and made "women" himself. Tweek created a cave, known as "The Cave of the Earth's Beauty" and grew all the women inside. The cave was meant to be only for the man worthy enough to reproduce. However, one man found the cave. --Tweek: 2:01 Jon, a stout fellow, told the Grand Healer of the cave of women. The Grand Healer commanded Jon to take his army and capture the women to be used a slaves. Szerober, knew this was wrong, and refused to follow the army into battle. He was reprimanded and tortured by a man named Rad Link. Eventually, Szerober couldn’t take the torture anymore, and accepted that God had control of his life now. Szerober died that day in God’s arms. --Tweek 2:08

GamerPanda, the prostitute, had heard about the great prophet, Tweek. Unfortunately, she was under captive of the Grand Healer. Tweek visited the women one night and told them to repent to be saved. Tweek asked the Grand Healer to free the women or else face the consequences. The Grand Healer refused. --Tweek 2:14

Falling from the heaven's, an infinite amount of turtles rained down. 9 days and 9 nights of turtles. Soon all the crops were ravaged. The prophet Tweek, who had warned the Grand Healer about God's rage, was confronted once again. Tweek demanded that the slave women be freed into his custody in return for the stopping of the raining turtles. The Grand Healer had no choice, he accepted. Tweek used his mage powers and incinerated the turtles. --Tweek 2:19

Tweek started to leave the Grand Healer’s land, accompanied by the women. The Grand Healer was angered by this and sent his army, now led by the promoted Rad Link, to follow Tweek and return the slaves. Tweek and the women came to a natural barrier, the Blood Red Sea. Noticing the army following them, Tweek decided to act fast. He used his mage powers and created a Naval Fleet. The women and Tweek sailed across the Sea and fired their guns on Rad Link and the army, effectively killing them all. --Tweek 2:26

Durango, who was in this army, right before being obliterated asked God why this was happening. God paused time in order to talk with Durango. God replied “Because God hates you,” and unpaused time. --Tweek 2:31

The fleet made it across the sea without being harmed from there on. The women awarded Tweek with lots of sex, despite Tweek telling them it was not necessary. Instead of going back to the cave, the women decided to follow Tweek, and help spread the word of God. --Tweek 2:34

The wealthy bard, Ayvuir, had everything, including an empty feeling in his heart. On one of his travels, he came across a man and a group of women following that man. Immediately Ayvuir knew something was different about this man. "Good sir, what is your name?" The man simply replied with "Whatever my Lord chooses it to be." Ayvuir dropped his lute and followed the man. Ayvuir, in time, found out that this man was a prophet known as Tweek. --Tweek 5:09

More and more people started to follow the prophet Tweek. Some offered him money to be in higher honor with God. Pathetique was one who offered money. Tweek took the money, saying that money was of no value in heaven. Pathetique immediately understood and started spreading the word of Tweek. --Tweek 5:16 A man dressed in black rose from the shadows in dark clothing. The man looked like what today we call a “ninja”. Tweek just stared at the man while Tweek’s followers started to panic. The Shadow stared back at Tweek. Using his mage powers, Tweek created a ball of light, and tossed it at the Shadow. The Shadow was blinded and when his sight came back after a few seconds, Tweek had taken the Shadow’s sword and was now pointing it at the Shadow. The Shadow fell to his knees and accepted his new leader Tweek. --Tweek 6:01

--Tweek 6:08

And Tweek incinerated the one called Arsey McAss using his mage powers. --Tweek 6:15

And God said, "Let there be stupid". And thus, Robazoid came forth unto us. --Tweek, 9:42

transience changed his ways after seeing God create Robazoid out of nothing. transience decided to give up his alter-ego "Jennifer" and follow the road that leads to Heaven. --Tweek 9:44

A bolt of lightning struck the Earth in front of Tweek, and Tweek knew God wanted his attention. Tweek listened. --Tweek 29:01

God's voice came down from Heaven, and said to the people of Earth, "Bump". It wasn't until many years later did they finally understand what was meant by this. --Tweek 29:03

There was one man who refused to believe in Tweek's prophecies. This man was known as The Rock. At one point, The Rock challenged Tweek to a duel. Tweek, having to prove his God's worth accepted, on the conditions that eachother's souls were up for grabs. Tweek used his mage powers and incinerated The Rock, then took his soul. --Tweek 56:92