Biolizard28's Top Ten Unfunniest Things of All Time

These are Biolizard28's Top Ten Unfunniest Things of All Time ranked for Ed Bellis's What Would You Do.

Top 10 Unfunniest Things of All Time
The world is a funny place. Literally. Though there's so much sorrow in the world, with a war going on, asteroid paranoia, hell, even midterms, it always helps to have a joke or two be told to you. Maybe take in a comedy. The world needs laughter. Without it, we would be lifeless, melancholic shells. Though, not everything is great about comedy. There are some people, comedians or ordinary, and even shows that are killing comedy and the joy it gives us. Though many people will find some of these hilarious, I personally believe they're the lowest forms of comedy, and thus they belong on a list... of the Top 10 Unfunniest Things of all time.

10. The Running Gag

We kick this list off with what some would consider a classic. Every now and then, you see a good joke told on TV, or maybe just saw a sequence you thought was funny. Now imagine hearing/seeing it again... and again... and again. I don't mind some running gags, but a lot of them really only worked as a one time joke, and the repetition just shows the laziness of the writer/comic. Though, some gags work best this way. It's situational, so it's at a fair spot, I'd say.

9. Wordplay for Dumbasses

I AM SOFA KING, WEE TODD ED. Don't misunderstand me, I love wordplay. I love it in English and even in languages I don't understand. I find it completely stupid when people use a tool like wordplay for dickery, to be honest with you. But it's not so much the misuse of the element of wordplay as it is the immaturity behind it all.

8. Impersonations

Impersonations don't have to be for comedy, but I figure it's used primarily for that purpose. I'm sorry, but I really don't see how being able to do a flawless Christopher Walken impression is hilarious. Having him say stupid **** in that voice is even worse. But, hey, just my opinion.

7. Swearing

Somehow, people find it funny when people swear uncontrollably, or just every other sentence. Therefore, I notice some people tend to stack jokes up with swears in order to make them seem funnier. It's pretty much fluff, and maybe I'm just looking at some bad comedians, but it's something I notice that happens a lot.

6. "Neo" Pop Culture References

Understand that that probably isn't even a real term, but hell. What I mean by Neo Pop Culture References is basically focusing on the latest celebrity gossip/screw up that deserves to be, and most likely is, on the cover of a magazine somewhere. Like, jokes about Britney Spears shaving her head, Michael Jackson molestation charges, etc. I don't mind jokes revolving around said people, but at least make an attempt. "So, Jamie Lynn's preggers. WHAT A SHOCK!" is not a joke. It's an attempt, sure, but it's not a joke.

5. Dragged out jokes

Family Guy, I'm looking straight at you right now, make no mistake. If there's anything I hate worse than a mediocre joke, it's having to sit through it. If a long joke could keep me entertained, sure, I'd gladly stick around to hear the rest. But if I'm watching a guy, say, clutching his knee in pain for a good two minutes, I'll pass. (Still looking....)

4. "Non-PC" Jokes

Directing my attention to a certain comedian who needs off the air. There's a grand total of three things I hate worse than this, but this one's still plenty bad in my book. When people tell jokes about *** people, a specific race, then I may, MAY, laugh, but only if it isn't based on a stereotype that's existed for ages. You name a group with some form of generalization floating around it, you're guaranteed to hear every single one in a joke some day. And you're not going to like it. Not because your offended, as some morons would say, but because it genuinely sucks.

3. Comedic "Filler"

You see this all the time. People laughing at just one completely random word. If I shouted "CHEESE" in a crowded area, you'd be sure to hear a chuckle somewhere. Maybe taco, perhaps? Monkey? Pie? People are easily amused, it seems. So much so, that any one word that sounds remotely random can induce laughter. It's very easy to do, too. No substance, just a word.

2. Quotes

Oh God, this is one giant step above the rest. If I have to hear one more goddamn Family Guy quote spewed from the mouth of some idiot who thinks he's the funniest guy on the planet because he can parrot Peter Griffin, I'll kill somebody or something. Dave Chappelle, Carlos Mencia, The Simpsons, you name it. That's all I have to say.

1. Would the owner of...

This one is the most idiotic and predictable of them all, and equally unfunny. We've all been in this situation. You're in the middle of a test, the intercom comes on. "Would the owner of a white Mercedes with license plate number .... please move your car." One brave, brave idiot raises his hand and says "Whoops, that's me!" I'll be honest, my classmates, in every one of my classes, will laugh at most anything. Yet, whenever someone gives this a try, he gets no reaction. That just shows how unfunny and unoriginal it is. I swear, one day, I'll park my car sideways, go in, wait for the intercom, and flash my keys in his face if he tries to claim it's his car. That's how goddamn stupid I think it is.