XIII's Third Board 8 Battle

XIII's 3rd Board 8 Battle (abbreviated as B8B3) was a sequel to XIII's Board 8 Battle, and XIII's 2nd Board 8 Battle that ran between October 2012 and March 2013.

Participants and Deaths (Spoilers)
Winner: Maniac64 (Tortoise Shell)

Dead:

Reg (Internet): Head eviscerated by Colegreen's superballs Ed Bellis (Pocket Galactus): Zombified by FFD, Pocket Galactus escaped, ate Bellis' face Natwaf_Akinda (Sacred Tome): Decapitated by guitar MZero11 (Wakka's World Champion): eaed hit one of Boko's thrown swords at MZero, exploding him. RappinHobo (Recording of PewDiePie video): Sliced apart from behind by Sir Cobain neonreaper (Battlemace): Destroyed by stray anti-tank missile from MysteriousStan Dark Young Link (large hardcover biology textbook): Broke neck on a tree after fighting Raka Kazbar (Hook hand): Decapitated by RL5's Al Snow Head/having terrible opinions Naomi_Diamond (Frying Pan): Killed by Quick Man Sceptilesolarbeam (Contender): Shot by Cody mcflubbin (Medieval Flail): Blown up by one of spudsalt's exploding dogs ff6man (SNES): Neck snapped by Caelus Walrus (Rubber Chicken): Zombified, head blown off by music of Haguile and Korayashi KateWadman (Rope): Run over by Accel's motorbike <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">RL5: (Al Snow's head): GTM deflected Holy Hand Grenade in RL5's direction <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Meow1000 (Self-replicating holy hand grenade): Hit in head by head, causing him to lose head <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">catastrophy15 (Cue Ball Pistol): Blown up by Deadly Superball, which had been scattered by Ark's Apoca-Fists <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">ArkOfTurus (Apoca-Fist): Collision of Apoca-Fists and Superball caused a massive explosion, killing both <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Colegreen_c12 (Deadly Superballs): Collision of Apoca-Fists and Superball caused a massive explosion, killing both <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">MysteriousStan (Iron Man suit): Iron Man suit thrown off by magnetism of Shoe's stapler; crashed into tree and exploded <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Zazi (Frozen Slab): Stabbed from behind by JC, while surfing downriver on the slab <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">JC (Poltergaxe): Slipped on JR's BBQ sauce and fell down waterfall. Head smashed on rocks, decapitating him <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Raka (NARES manuscript): Head was hit by multiple Beyblade strikes and jumped off Raka's neck in protest <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">OInsaneOne (El-Kabon's acoustic guitar): Thrown through earth by megastrength Caelus <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Boko (Bunch of swords): Destroyed by Pirateking's hammer <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Chronic: (case of JR's BBQ Sauce): Head ripped off by staples from Kakashi's stapler <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Shoenin_Kakashi (A stapler): Decapitated by Cobain <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Haguile (Dagger/Flute): Killed self upon reading "XIII's writing: a Caelus presentation" in hardcover form <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">eaed (Ness' baseball bat): Eviscerated by QUICK MAN <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">DFF (Football): Set on fire, blew up one of spudsalt's dogs and died in explosion <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">GTM (Boko Utd Title): Caught in explosion that killed DFF <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">spudsalt (Dogs w/ explosives): Football's football flew out of the explosion and decapitated him <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Hrezs (Brass Knuckles): Ran over by Accel_R8. Exploded. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Accel_R8 (Motor Cycle): Bike caught fire and exploded after running over flaming Hrezs <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Korayashi (Jukebox repeatedly playing  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJrnlFW4IMc<span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">): Brains utterly devoured by Han <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">HanOfTheNekos (Cello): Zombie Han lost will to eat brains when Kora's music stopped; head gave up, exploded of own will <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Caelus (My writing): Head exploded because he was, at one point, written by Sir Chris rather than me <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">SSBDarren (Yoyo): While falling down waterfall, Pirateking decapitated him with the hammer. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Pirateking (Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer): Hit rocks at foot of waterfall after MSG fired a water cannon that threw him off it <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Plum (Quick Man): A Zombie. Decapitated by cody at point-blank range <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">FFD (T-Virus gun): A Zombie. Shot by cody. Zombified cody before dying. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">cody (Herschel's Shotgun): A Zombie, fell into a weapontrap laid by Cobain/Maniac <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Cobain (3 lightsabers); Hit from behind by multiple MSG beyblades and sliced to bits <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">MSG (Beyblades): A smart zombie, but not smart enough to avoid being decapitated by Maniac's tortoise shell.

Epilogue
The Epilogue was XIII's attempt to "kill" the board 8 battle franchise, by having MrSmartGuy zombify Maniac just before Maniac was able to win. Maniac's zombification led to an unstoppable outbreak that killed everything. Everything from MSG's death onwards can be found here:

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">MSG's head was hurled into the air, and Maniac celebrated victory. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">However, MSG's head bounced off the back wall, then landed on Maniac and the teeth made contact with Maniac's cheek. The head exploded, but only a couple of seconds later, after Maniac had faded away from the bunker. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">* * * <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Maniac had telported to the Charizard, where XIII and Comm were waiting for him. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">"Congrats! You won board8battle. Now you can return home, with pride in winning and one million dollars." <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">"Thanks, I-" <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Unfortunately the zombification of Maniac completed at this very instant. MSG's teeth had carried traces of the T-virus, after all. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">"Brains." <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">"Thanks, you brains?" said Comm. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">"Oh s***," said XIII, who had figured out the connotations. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">That was all the time Comm and XIII had to say or do anything though. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">The corpse of Korayashi was brought to life by me, the author, only to then also be devoured by the zombie outbreak that permeated every inch of reality. The zombie outbreak surged through every inch of reality in the millions of different universes that had been affected by the borrd 8 battle trilogy. Mr. God was zombified, Frostmourne of Time was zombified. Smegmamune was zombified. Minio was zombified. THE FIRE<span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;"> was zombified. The skeleton of Minio's second in command rat, General Splinter, was zombified. Charles Barkley was zombified. The grudge-holding Basketball was zombified. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;"> was zombified. Smeg"mer"muneus was zombified. The Beyonce and Gaga bombs were zombified. Mad Bellis was zombified. Tatyan Karimova was zombified. Goldust was zombified. Everything in that trainwreck, the abomination that was XIII's advent calendar, they were all zombified too. Everything.<span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;"> Every plant, animal, living creature, non-living creature, everything. They all<span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;"> began to thirst for BRAINS. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">However, there is a finite amount of brains. All the zombies starved to death, died, and their bodies decomposed instantly and ceased to exist because I said so. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">So now everything was dead and had dissolved. All the people in all the universes ever. The slate was wiped clean, and the fictional version of every b8 user, past, present or future was dead. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Then the multiverse collapsed in on itself because what was the point anymore? <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">Needless to say, this made it impossible for someone to amass a huge amount of money to buy an island and make people battle to the death. Because nothing existed. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,79);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;">tl;dr: Maniac won, congrats! But then everything died. So no more board 8 battles. Nice job breaking it, MSG. Winner: Maniac64, with a tortoise shell