Chop Chop Master Onion's Contest History

Who is Chop Chop Master Onion?
A lot of characters are considered two-dimensional, but few ever embody this trait in a literal sense. Chop Chop Master Onion is one of these proud few.

An accomplished sensei and rap artist (best dual baccalaureate ever), Chop Chop shows up in the game Parappa the Rapper to teach the game’s titular character the ways of rhythm, offering the timeless advice, “Kick, punch, it’s all in the mind.” He also eventually goes on to host (according to Wikipedia), a “romantic karate work out [TV] show.” A talk show hosted by pirates, ninjas, and Chuck Norris couldn’t touch how awesome that is.

Why CJay ever bothered including Chop Chop in any contest whatsoever remains a mystery, but I’d watch his show over any of those damn Tomb Raider movies any day of the week.

“Kick, punch, I SAID THIS LINE ALREADY, CHRIST.” - Chop Chop Master Onion

(Writeup courtesy of Ed Bellis)

Chop Chop Master Onion's Contest History
Win-Loss Record: 0-1

Summer 2002 Contest: East Division - 16 Seed
 * Eastern Round 1 --- Lost to (1) Lara Croft, 19512 [30.37%] - 44737 [69.63%]
 * Extrapolated Strength --- 48th Place [13.24%]

Lara Croft is perhaps the most anti-voted entrant in the history of GameFAQs contests, and despite her popularity is one of the most hated video game characters of all time.

Yet she still managed to beat Chop Chop Master Onion in a match. It goes to show how much GameFAQs loves the PaRappa series.