Why Did They Lose?/2008-09

"Why Did They Lose?" was brought back once again for the 3rd year in a row in Character Battle VII, this time being being ran by Dr. Pizza, and Whit3_Rabb1t for Character Battle VII. Whit3_Rabb1t was supposed to take over for Biscuit, but he was nowhere to be found, so he gave Dr. Pizza permission to run it on instead. But when Whit3_Rabb1t got hold of Dr. Pizza, and they agreed to run it together.

However, White Rabbit seemed to never be online at the end of each battle, and Dr. Pizza hadn't felt like posting them, therefore our Lurker decided to come back and help post the topics with us.

Runner-ups are now considered to be allowed under the winner, if Dr. Pizza, White Rabbit, or The Lurker believed they were funny enough to be mentioned. The first Runner Up ever to get this honor was to "The Utility Man" for his reason why King Dedede and Pit lost to Ryu (Ninja Gaiden) and Zero (Mega Man X). Although someone ACTUALLY had gotten this before hand, but was not recorded.

On October 14th, 2008. Dr. Pizza quit because he'd "had enough of how shitty the jokes for each topic were, since no one had any imagination anymore. and im tired of it." and White Rabbit pretty much vanished, so Mr. Lurker ran the topics till the end of Round 1, and Dr. Pizza decided to come back and this time run it completly on his own.

But on October 26th, 2008. Dr Pizza had enough of topics with only maybe 20 responses, half of which bordering between mediocre and pathetic, so he finally closed the series of topics for good. This was repeated during the Best Game Ever 2009 Contest.

NOTE: Reasons that are listed in BOLD are Dr. Pizza's favorites of all-time.

=Character Battle VII=

Round 1
RUNNER UP/HONORABLE MENTION: Dedede and Pit asked if they could go to the next round, and Ryu said "I think you have me confused with someone else". (The Utility Man) RUNNER UP/HONORABLE MENTION: Fox did a Barrel Roll. It reflected Chris' bullets and Tim got caught in the crossfire. (Blizz Kid) 2ND RUNNER UP/HONORABLE MENTION: Chris shot Tim in the chest and Tim rewound to avoid it.... Chris shot Tim in the chest and Tim rewound to avoid it.... repeat. (Biolizard28) HONORABLE MENTION\RUNNER-UP: Turns out TCF (the chainsaw factor) does not complement TJF well at all. (Colonel Alloy)
 * 1) Cecil Harvey and Jade Curtiss lost because... Damn Replicas. (tazzyboyishere)
 * 2) Luke fon Fabre & Shadow the Hedgehog lost because... Zidane headbutted them. (LinkLegend27)
 * 3) Kefka and Niko Bellic lost because... Duke always gets closer to the ladies than the rest. Especially when they're as hot as Marth. (Justin_Crossing)
 * 4) Guybrush Threepwood and Isaac lost because... Altair and Lucario fought like Dairy Farmers. Appropriately enough, Isaac and Guybrush fought like cows. (Mad Steve)
 * 5) Roxas & Sho Minamimoto lost because... Their world ends with Super Weegee! (Tatl)
 * 6) Geno and Deckard Cain lost because... Voters didn't stay awhile and listen (Shoenin_Kakashi)
 * 7) Fei Fong Wong and Knuckles the Echidna lost because... Zelda tricked Knuckles into thinking Fei stole the Master Emerald. (Twilight the Fox)
 * 8) Lloyd Irving and Tom Nook lost because... I don't think many Tales fans like Lloyd (alot of them seem to hate him for some reason) though I expected him to come closer. Maybe his portrait wasn't cool enough? Tom Nook just isn't that great; he's the annoying shop keeper that I kept thinking was going to attack me if I didn't start paying off my debts (I had the money, but I spent it on a piano; no, I don't know how to play the piano; no, I don't have room in my house for it). (Yoshirider)
 * 9) Crash Bandicoot & Raz lost because... Nightmare showed them, the GREATEST nightmare! (Gaddswell)
 * 10) KOS-MOS & Neku lost because... Neku got Ganonbanned. KOS-MOS got Ganonbanged (Shoenin_Kakashi)
 * 11) GlaDOS & Wander lost because.. Used to following the advice of disembodied voices, Wander left on a never ending quest for cake. (Biolizard28)
 * 12) Balthier Bunansa & Big Daddy lost because.. the Big Daddy mistook Balthier for a little girl, and wouldn't let him out of his sight into the next round. (zes50)
 * 13) Frank West & Kaim Argonar lost because.. Despite being over 1,000 years old, Kaim was not a zombie. Frank West was displeased. (firaga89)
 * 14) Meta Knight & The Dog lost because.. Because Metaknight missed a duck and hid in is cape since he couldn't take the shame of a dog laughing at him. The dog found this funny and continued to laugh. (AshKetchummm)
 * 15) Diddy Kong & Kratos Aurion lost because... combined with Alucard's Death Note design, The Plan (TM) was made infallible. (Biolizard28)
 * 16) Ike & Spy lost because... Ike fought for his friend, who thanked him with a knife to the back. (Biolizard28)
 * 17) Donkey Kong & Miles 'Tails' Prower lost because... The WCC offered them cake if they withdrew from the contest, but Tidus knew the cake was a lie. (Tatl)
 * 18) Banjo & Captain Olimar lost because...Banjo thought Olimar's Pikmin were some kind of collectible, and promptly stuffed them in his backpack. (Big Bob)
 * 19) King Dedede & Pit lost because...Ryu Hayabusa has come a long way since his debut game. Birds and pits no longer pose a threat to him. (FalconPain)
 * 1) Albert Wesker & Sackboy lost because... Wesker lost on purpose so he could come back to life later. No one knows who Sackboy is. (DeathChicken)
 * 2) Chris Redfield & Tim lost because... There were no black people in the poll and Chris didn't want to kill a white guy or a fox. (tazzyboyishere)
 * 1) CATS & Nathan Drake lost because... Nathan has the misFortune of being allergic to CATS. (Chinballz)
 * 2) Axel Steel & Miles Edgeworth lost because... Edgeworth was hoping to think of a way to win while objecting. He didn't. (Pleinair)
 * 3) Ness & Travis Touchdown lost because...Ness and Travis could not comprehend the true form of Mewtwo's attack.(Biolizard28)
 * 4) Jinjo & Lucas lost because...I hate fourpacks, with regard to Why Did They Lose? You feel bad coming up with something for just one or two of the characters, but it's rarely funny if you go out of your way to include all four. Blah. (Colonel Alloy)
 * 5) Kain Highwind & Professor Layton lost because... Professor Layton starting cheering on his competitors because they solved the simple puzzle of how to beat him. (Justin_Crossing)
 * 6) Captain MacMillan & Siegfried Schtauffen lost because... Swamp Thing never gets any love and hard to spell names are hard to vote for.(Tatl)
 * 7) Laharl & Ramza Beoulve lost because...The other 38 didn't show up for the raid. (Falcon120)
 * 8) Commander Shepard & Magus lost because... If the winners were to change, let it change! If Sonic is to be destroyed, so be it! If my fate is to lose, I must simply laugh!! I'm coming, Sandbag! (Edmond Tan)
 * 9) Marcus Fenix & Rydia lost because... They were too busy comparing cup sizes. (Biolizard28)
 * 1) Nana & Ratchet lost because... They're both tools. (Kenri)
 * 2) Heavy & Revolver Ocelot lost because... Ocelot touched Sasha. (WarThaHedgehog)

Round 2

 * 1) Zidane Tribal & Wario lost because... They got a red card for headbutting. N/A
 * 2) Marth & Lucario didn't combine their names to make "Mario." (Paratroopa1)
 * 3) Phoenix Wright & Bowser lost because "Phoenix needed a miracle. Instead, Bowser happen." (WarThaHedgehog)
 * 4) Nightmare & Frog lost because To put it simply, they croaked. (Justin_Crossing)

Contest Was Discontinued due to lack of voting, marking it the first time ever that this series of topics was canned.

=Best. Game. Ever. 2009=

Round 1
He was in a bind cos Starcraft was behind and was willin' to make a deal. When he came across this Spartan primin' to sway the voters hot. And Diablo went up on slot one and said, 'Chief, let me tell ya what' 'I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a rather good choker too' 'And if you'd care to take a dare, I'd be willin' to make a bet with you' 'Now you've got a bunch of miracles, but give Diablo his due:' 'I bet my Soulstone against your fans, 'cos I think I bomb better than you' The Chief said, "I'm the MC and this might be a sin" "But I'm takin' you over me to round two, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been'.
 * 1) Mike Tyson's Punch-Out & Space Invaders lost because... The Invaders, seeking intelligent life, found Mike Tyson. It all went downhill from there. (Vergil Sparda)
 * 2) The Oregon Trail & Pong lost because... They actually got a million votes, but were only able to carry 44,695 back to the wagon. (Paratroopa1) HONORABLE MENTION/RUNNER UP: Oregon Trail and Pong would have gotten more voters, but they died of dysentery. (Lucid Faia)
 * 3) Duck Hunt & Galaga lost because... Ninja Gaiden was told it was going to lose, but it refused to................. believe it. (Kenri) HONORABLE MENTION/RUNNER UP: Galaga, losing terribly, saw the dog laughing at him; The ship decided to shoot him instead of the ducks. (Dr Pizza)
 * 4) Dragon Warrior III & Contra lost because... No shirt, no protagonist name, no victory. (Red Shifter)
 * 5) Civilization & Castlevania III lost because... Castlevania wouldn't switch over from Despotism. Civilization crumbled. (DeathChicken)
 * 6) Sim City & Tecmo Super Bowl lost because... You can't have the Super bowl played in a $3,000 stadium. (arby64)
 * 7) Battletoads & Prince of Persia (Classic) lost because... they got stuck on the pause button music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhl9pJB-2Ak (Locke Scythe)
 * 8) Crystalis & River City Ransom lost because... After awaking from your cryogenic sleep you find out that Slick is holding the Sword of Wind for Ransom and are unable to start your quest. (Arctic_Slicer) HONORABLE MENTION/RUNNER UP: They didn't equip the BARF sword (Breakdown777)
 * 9) Gunstar Heroes & Sonic The Hedgehog 3 lost for ALOT of reasons. The Top 5 reasons why they lost was because... 5. Dice roll landed Sonic and Gunstar Red on the ****ing Curry and Rice (StealThisSheen), 4. Nintendofaqs (Smoking Hamster), 3. People misread the poll and thought they were voting for Sonic Heroes. (Lopen), 2. They simply weren't SUPER enough. (PurpleMonkDish), And the number 1 reason and winner is, They lost because Genesis Does What Nintendon't - it loses contest matches. (tim333)
 * 10) Doom & Streets of Rage 2 lost because... John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were Nintendo games in the poll. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Axel were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the GameFAQs contest and he said to dad "I want to be in the contest daddy." Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY NINTENDO" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got the night vote he stopped. But now in the sixteenth hour of the poll he knew there was Donkey Kong Country. "This is Axel" the radio crackered. "You must fight the monkeys!" So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall. "HE GOING TO KILL US" said the monkeys "I will shoot at him" said Diddy and he fired the peanut missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill. "No! I must kill the monkeys" he shouted The radio said "No, John. You are the monkeys" And then John was Cranky Kong. (tim333)
 * 11) Mega Man X & Phantasy Star IV lost because... Link used the select trick to cheat. Mega Man tried to, only to find out it no longer exists in his game. (Paratroopa1) HONORABLE MENTION/RUNNER UP: Needlessly using Xs and Phs hasn't been cool since the late 90s. (Lopen)
 * 12) Secret of Mana & Shining Force II lost because... It's no secret that Sonic is popular, and Mortal Kombat II was a force to be reckoned with. (Paratroopa1)
 * 13) Donkey Kong Country 2 & Resident Evil 2 lost because... Leon needed more Bonus Coins to resolve the next puzzle (Childproof)
 * 14) Star Fox 64 & Suikoden lost because... Suikoden only managed to recruit 64 Stars of Fox. (paperwarrior)
 * 15) Kirby Super Star & Resident Evil lost because... (GTM)
 * 16) Earthbound & Lufia II lost because... Ness and Maxim went through a time portal that trapped them in the Era of Forgotten RPGs. (kinsho3)
 * 17) Banjo-Kazooie & Perfect Dark lost because... Pokemon love to eat Rare candy. (FalconPain)
 * 18) Deus Ex & Final Fantasy Tactics lost because... Don't blame the winners. Blame yourself or God. (Biolizard28)
 * 19) Soul Calibur & Xenogears lost because... Squall used Draw to get 100 Votes from SC and Xenogears and Junctioned them to his Popularity. When he attempted to do so with Starcraft, he Drew Fanboys. (Some_Character)
 * 20) Chrono Cross & Half-Life lost because... no one likes joyrock and he is a terrible user. (MetricTrout) Honorable mention Link opened a treasure chest and found a sword of immeasurable power. Zidane opened a treasure chest and found a sword of immeasurable power. Gordon Freeman found a crowbar. (Inviso)
 * 21) Silent Hill 2 & The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind lost because... Morrowind and Silent Hill 2 violated the law. They were arrested and their stolen votes were confiscated. (Bittergrim)
 * 22) Metroid Prime & Paper Mario lost because... They looked good on paper, but they're passed [sic] their prime. :( (Hello Im Bob)
 * 23) Grand Theft Auto III & Knights of the Old Republic lost because... Diablo went down to Gamefaqs; he was lookin' for a match to steal.

Chief you rally up your base and play your voters hard. It's Hell here in Gamefaqs and Star Wars likes playin' it hard. And if you win the chokin' you'll keep doin' your little dance. But if you lose, Diablo gets your fans.

Diablo opened up his case and said, "I'll start this show" And he knocked his opening vote down to KotOR's weak blow. He kept movin' along and did an evil hiss. And then GTA3 popped up and Diablo it did diss.

When Diablo finished, the Chief said 'Well you're pretty good ol' son' 'But sit back in your chair down there, and I'll show you how it's done'

ASV comin' up run, boys, run. Diablo's in the house, position 1. Claude's in the bottom, pickin' out dough. 'Ballin' with the Chief win' 'No, child, no' (Kamekguy)
 * 1) Disgaea & Fire Emblem lost because... Laharl tried to recruit the Fire Emblem characters but their levels only went up to 20. (WhiteLens)
 * 2) Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas & God of War lost because... With so much murder involved, the games qualified as criminal scum and had to stop right there. (Biolizard28),
 * 3) Halo 2 & Okami lost because... They bowed down to the might of the Lich King. (Justin_Crossing) HONORABLE MENTION/RUNNER-UP: No dog or space ranger can survive an onslaught of 40 lvl 1 Gnomes. Luckily, Snake had a box to hid in. (Some_Character)
 * 4) Gears of War & Shadow of the Colossus lost because... Shadow of the Colossus was smalltime and there was no sanctuary for Gears of War. (Kenri)
 * 5) Final Fantasy XII & Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney lost because... The judge believed Ondore's lies. (paperwarrior)
 * 6) Persona 4 & Street Fighter IV lost because... Persona 4: Nobody could BEAR with how good this game is. (Felpool Leon) HONORABLE MENTION/RUNNER-UP: SF4 LOST?!?!?! (OcelotDAD])
 * 7) Pokemon Diamond and Pearl & Team Fortress 2 lost because... Medic kept trying to bring ubers in tournament mode and was eventually disqualified. (KJ456) HONORABLE MENTION/RUNNER-UP: Pokémon are not credit to team. (Shoenin_Kakashi)
 * 8) BioShock & LittleBigPlanet lost because... Snake, being more of a pie man, did not fall for the Portal cake lie. The same could not be said of the others. (Jaster24) HONORABLE MENTION/RUNNER-UP:Someone built a Sackboy to look like a Little Sister, so Big Daddy wouldn't leave him alone long enough to win the match. (Tatl)
 * 9) Left 4 Dead & Mass Effect lost because... Things were going swimmingly for them until Wrex accidentally woke up a Witch. (Chinballz)

Round 2
Donkey Kong & Pac-Man lost because... They ran out of quarters. (Kenri)