Results Edit

Round 3R3M5
Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Ulti's Analysis Edit

So, remember when Dante was supposed to beat Squirtle? Remember when people said the big Pokemon RBY > Final Fantasy 7 upset in the Rivalry Rumble bonus poll would mean nothing in this contest?

I think Leon overlapping with Cloud to some degree had a lot to do with Cloud losing in this match, but in years past it would not have mattered and Cloud would have stomped this poll anyway. But now, with all the decline in FF7's strength that will only continue on a downward trend? Squirtle can open up a 250 vote lead in an hour an no one even blinks, because by the time this match happened most people expected something similar. But expecting a cool upset is waaaaay different from actually seeing one happen. I'm a huge FF7 fan, but this match was AWESOME.

Cloud made a game of things overnight, erasing Squirtle's lead by the time the morning vote hit. And FF7 does have a really good day vote, so in theory if the Squareheads showed up in numbers Cloud could win this while the sun was up, similar to how he beat Samus in 2010.

But it was simply not to be, and Cloud's trends in this match were eerily similar to his match with Mario in 2002. Squirtle build a lead of 150, and that lead fluctuated between 150 and 250 for pretty much the entire day. One would assume the evening and second night votes would then be friendly to Cloud in this regard, but just like in 2002 that support completely abandoned Cloud when he needed it most. Come the evening, Squirtle pushed this thing up to 450 votes and simply never looked back. It would end up another loss on the FF7 resume that the game will simply not be able to recover from. It's unfair to FF7, but it's the GameFAQs mascot for Square hatred in the polls these days. This also wasn't one of those upsets where a rally or cheating was needed; Squirtle just outright beat Cloud fair and square, which probably made it the coolest upset of the contest. No stupid 4chan or Reddit rallies required.

This would also start a run where in the next 8 matches, 7 of them would feature Pokemon. I know Draven and Link were the story of the contest, and for good reason, but Pokemon dominance is also a storyline in there somewhere.

Zen's (Late) AnalysisEdit

ere's the next entry in the "Fuck It I Give Up" Sextology, this time involving a funny blue cartoon turtle beating former contest champion Cloud Strife because reasons

Reason 1) 4chan did not like Cloud and wanted Squirtle to win. Ulti mentions in his writeup that Squirtle didn't need a rally but I really don't think that's the case. You can see the votal increase on this match and 4chan had mentioned in a lot of their previous rallies that they were going to support Pokemon in the matches, and although there was less support it was still there. Again, we also still had a little spillover from the Draven rally posts, which probably benefit the Pokemon more than anyone else.

Reason 2) Ain't nobody give no shits about FF anymore unless it is specifically Sephiroth when he is against Kirby or Gilgamesh I guess

Reason 3) That weird PlayStation All-Star SFF hurt Cloud a bit, Leon is the man

Reason 4) Fuck It I Give Up

We all collectively saw this coming by this point but it hurt to watch it unfold all the same. Ulti mentions in his writeup that the vote trends are very similar to the original Mario / Cloud match from 2002, where Squirtle got a good size lead and even though Cloud made cuts he couldn't gain any momentum and eventually got beaten by this thing.

Don't get me wrong, I chose Squirtle as my first ever starter like any sane person would, but I can't believe it's strong enough to beat legendary character Cloud Strife under any circumstances. Maybe I'm just old fashioned. Bring back asbestos, it didn't do anything wrong.

Take Leon out this match and give Cloud the boost from KHIII and Smash Ultimate in 2018, what do you get? Probably a much more boring match where he wins pretty easily. It's just surreal how this contest ended up playing out. We had Vivi beating Mario, Draven beating Link, and now Squirtle beating Cloud. Eventually Sephiroth would get knocked out to Draven and Mewtwo.

2013 Contest Matches

Round One
Link > Isaac > Tingle
Raiden > Waluigi > Alan
Yoshi > Solaire > Demi-Fiend
Shepard > Olimar > Kain
Tharja > Tina > Juliet
Aeris > Hero > Rinoa
Draven > Jak > Chie
Ryu > Yuri L > Face
X > Jigglypuff > Welkin
Sonic > Fei > Dan
Dracula > Lucina > Caim
Barret > Layton > Reimu
Wrighto > Marth > Nightmare
Vincent > KOS-MOS > Dunban
Mewtwo > Zero > Chester
The Boss > Chrom > Heavy
Sub-Zero > Garrus > Frank
Bowser > M.Knight > Archer
Seph > Midna > L.Mac
Morrigan > Edgey > 47
Spyro > Clementine > Reyn
Luigi > Balthier > Jade
Big Boss > Viridian > Peacock
Ness > Locke > CATS
Elizabeth > Poison > Thrall
Kirby > Terra > Peach
Crash > Wheatley > Vercetti
Snake > Isaac > Keen
Alucard > C.Falcon > Rydia
Bayonetta > N > Wander
GLaDOS > Cole > Ragna
Ike > Proto Man > Robotnik
Epona > Mordin > Niko
Altair > Ratchet > Shulk
Lara > Slime > Yuri H
Kefka > Zack > Ryu H
Cloud > Prinny > Armstrong
Frog > Joe > Jack
Lugia > Sly > York
Dante > Laharl > Raz

Squirtle > Ramza > Denton
Zidane > Ridley > Dancin'
Shadow > Yu > Kat
Leon > Wesker > Oliver
Gordon > Simon > Hades
Crono > Missile > Kerrigan
Pikachu > Lloyd > Big Daddy
Magus > Otacon > Jade C
Sora > Scorpion > Aya
Gilgamesh > Booker > Kaim
Yoshimitsu > Lu Bu > Groose
G&W > Lee > Meat Boy
Drake > Pac-Man > Steve
Blue > Fox > Wolf
Samus > Sandbag > Isaac C
Catherine > Neku > Vaas
Knuckles > Celes > Seifer
Ezio > Tails > Bomberman
Auron > Ocelot > Roxas
L-Block > Palutena > Teemo
Dragonborn > Nook > P.Head
Yuna > Chief > Claire
Tifa > Chun-Li > Cirno
Mario > Duke > Fawful
Vivi > Jensen > Marisa
Ganondorf > Guybrush > Max
Squall > Rayman > Video
Ammy > Vyse > Adol
Missingno > Tidus > Banjo
Wario > Creeper > KoAC
Red > Corvo > Sissel
Wrex > Cecil > Pit
MM > Magikarp > Geno
Kratos > Recette > Travis
Jill > Haggar > Red Bird
Zero > Kratos A > Boko
WCC > Claptrap > Lenneth
Rikku > ?-Block > Lyndis
Zelda > Marston > Sackboy
DK > Lightning > Falco
Charizard > Riku > Nier

Round Two and Beyond
Link > Raiden > Yoshi
Shepard > Aeris > Tharja
Draven > X > Ryu
Sonic > Barret > Dracula
Mewtwo > Wrighto > Vincent
Bowser > Sub-Zero > The Boss
Sephiroth > Morrigan > Spyro
Big Boss > Luigi > Ness
Kirby > Elizabeth > Crash
Snake > Alucard > Bayonetta
GLaDOS > Epona > Ike
Kefka > Altair > Lara
Cloud > Frog > Lugia
Squirtle > Dante > Zidane
Leon > Gordon > Shadow
Pikachu > Crono > Magus
Sora > Gilgamesh > Yoshimitsu
Blue > Drake > G&W
Samus > Knuckles > Catherine
L-Block > Auron > Ezio
Tifa > Dragonborn > Yuna
Vivi > Mario > Ganondorf
Squall > Missingno > Ammy
Red > Wrex > Wario
MM > Jill > Kratos
Zero > Rikku > WCC
Charizard > Zelda > DK
Draven > Link > Shepard
Mewtwo > Sonic > Bowser
Sephiroth > Kirby > Big Boss
Snake > GLaDOS > Kefka
Squirtle > Cloud > Leon
Pikachu > Sora > Blue
Samus > Tifa > L-Block
Red > Vivi > Squall
MM > Charizard > Zero
Draven > Mewtwo > Sephiroth
Snake > Pikachu > Squirtle
Samus > MM > Red
Draven > Snake > Samus (Finals)

Caim > Dancin' > Chester

Bonus Matches
Mario > Crono > X
Link > Snake

MM > Mewtwo > Pikachu

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