Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
I'll spare the old lecture about Nintendo always having the overall 1 seed and stomping, because going over that for the 218th time is boring.
Instead, I'm going to defend Tingle. Seriously, Tingle is a good character. Japan created him to make entirely fun of the American weaboo, and somehow the weaboo crowd hasn't caught onto this. He's fat, creepy, can't dress, is probably a literal pedophile in-game, and might be one of the most annoying characters ever. The joke caught on so hard in Japan that Tingle got his own game, and the Americans obsessed with all things Japan still can't figure it out. The best irony is self inflicted, and anime-obsessed western audiences are the best example. For that, Tingle is awesome.
Hey anime fans: every time you're spending more money on anime than most crackheads will ever spend on their fix, look at Tingle and realize it's what Japan thinks of you.
Oh yeah, there was a match here too. The new expert challenge made the placement of all three characters matter rather than only the winner, so while Link winning was obvious, second place mattered. Tingle was actually doing pretty well for himself early, before the SFF kicked in and Isaac, uh... "cruised" to a 1000 vote win. And no, this was not Golden Sun Isaac.
Yeah, this contest had complete garbage all over round 1. Seriously, go look at the bracket and look at all that fodder nonsense.
The last thing to take from this match, and we've known this for years, is that Link has lost a step. It's just that everyone else has lost a step too, so it hasn't been as easy to notice. But Link not completely obliterating Tingle and Tingle almost getting second here was embarrassing. It was a reminder that Link 2004 is probably the strongest Link. That Link got 88% on Ganondorf, 82% on Yoshi and just obliterated Cloud.
86% on Tingle compared to 88% on Ganondorf is honestly kind of hilarious, all things considered.
ok yeah it's Link. He got 73% in the opening round against Tingle and Isaac. Does that mean Link is weak? Snake confirmed new strongest Noble Nine member? People jumped to a lot of conclusions because Link didn't absolutely stomp Tingle in this showing. A lot of people said that Link was just past his prime, but I really blame the dip in votals and general lack of interest in contests. Link thrives on that casual vote. The only people left on this site are weirdos like us, and Isaac and Tingle are weirdo icons.
Plus, I think the last Zelda game to have come out at this point was Skyward Sword, the one we don't talk about anymore because it was so bland. Hey, remember that time Miyamoto tried demoing SS at E3 and he couldn't get it to work and it was super embarrassing? something something metaphor for this match
Also Isaac showed up I guess. The only thing people debated here was whether or not he'd be so weak that he would lose to a heavily SFF'd Tingle. There was an "Expert Mode" this year or w/e it was called so that you'd get more points if you predicted who got 1st, 2nd and 3rd correctly. It was a cool secondary contest and might have been more fun than making a bracket. It kept people interested and debating all the way through.