Results Edit

Round 2R2M14
Saturday, August 24th, 2013

Ulti's Analysis Edit

I've seen 11 years of contests. Lots of well-deserved wins, lots of well-deserved losses. Lots of comebacks, lots of surprise blowouts, even surprise contest winners. And I can 100% say from the bottom of my heart that no character ever deserved to lose a match more than Dante deserved to lose this specific match.

Because oh





Tameem and Ninja Theory basically went as far out of their way as possible to piss off as many DMC series fans as they could, and I'm not actually sure what's worse: Tameem doing this, or people actually defending this literal abortion (watch the Mundus Spawn fight, assuming you can make it through the vid without puking) of a video game. I always thought Stockholm Syndrome was overblown, until this game came out and there wasn't universal hate for it. Capcom basically has been telling their own fans how much they hate them for years, and somehow people still defend Capcom. I really don't get it.

I'm saving my 100% writing energy for the DmC review I'm working on, but the short of it is DmC is by far the worst game I've ever played in my entire life, and anyone who actually likes it is obviously a human being with no intelligence that I will never want to interact with or take seriously, ever. There is no defense for that game. Zero.

Regarding the actual match, the only Dante match I've ever predicted incorrectly was his 2007 run, and I can get behind the 2007 run because pre-DmC Dante deserves to make waves. But now? Absolutely god damn not. Dante went from a badass slayer to a metrosexual trapeze artist, with a director pulling a Stephanie Meyer and self-inserting into the main character in a glorified fanfic.

So yes, I knew Dante was going to lose. I knew he was going to get blown the f*** out. And not only did he deserve every second of it, but 151 people have absolutely no idea what in the hell they're talking about:

HOW?! How did 151 so-called experts not see this coming? Did the seething hatred of Capcom, Ninja Theory, and DmC somehow escape you people? I legit want an answer. Who in their right mind could possibly think Dante was winning this?

Last note: No character ever has or will have more pic sabotage attempts than Dante in this match. For the first time ever in this contest, we got to see stats on submission numbers for pictures. Dante more than doubled his closest competitor for pic submissions, because everyone was submitting DmC stuff to sabotage him. He ended up getting a fair pic from 4, but there was no chance in hell Dante was ever going to overcome the hate and win this match. Even Zidane stayed even with him for 10 minutes.

Burn in hell and go f*** yourself, Tameem. Never make another video game ever again.

Zen's (Late) AnalysisEdit

If you zoom out on Dante's match pic, he pretty much expresses how we all felt about his performance here:


People had basically given up on Dante being able to overcome Squirtle by this point, but this match coming right after a small Pokemon loss gave people the slightest bit of hope. Then the match started and all that disappeared. It now became about extrapolating Dante and Zidanes' performances to see how strong Squirtle really was. I'm not sure if people were saying Squirtle > Cloud yet, but there must have been at least a small minority who predicted it.

I know 4chan was really into rallying Pokemon and the slightly higher votals here show that they probably did get involved in some small way, but not on a crazy level. Besides, in this contest rally-strength was just real strength. Squirtle's performance in 2018 will determine where he really truly stands in these contests. Probably still good.

Zidane did well here, coming in 2300 votes behind Dante isn't awful.

Dante might have won if we had gotten Donté, el exterminador de demonios here instead.

2013 Contest Matches

Round One
Link > Isaac > Tingle
Raiden > Waluigi > Alan
Yoshi > Solaire > Demi-Fiend
Shepard > Olimar > Kain
Tharja > Tina > Juliet
Aeris > Hero > Rinoa
Draven > Jak > Chie
Ryu > Yuri L > Face
X > Jigglypuff > Welkin
Sonic > Fei > Dan
Dracula > Lucina > Caim
Barret > Layton > Reimu
Wrighto > Marth > Nightmare
Vincent > KOS-MOS > Dunban
Mewtwo > Zero > Chester
The Boss > Chrom > Heavy
Sub-Zero > Garrus > Frank
Bowser > M.Knight > Archer
Seph > Midna > L.Mac
Morrigan > Edgey > 47
Spyro > Clementine > Reyn
Luigi > Balthier > Jade
Big Boss > Viridian > Peacock
Ness > Locke > CATS
Elizabeth > Poison > Thrall
Kirby > Terra > Peach
Crash > Wheatley > Vercetti
Snake > Isaac > Keen
Alucard > C.Falcon > Rydia
Bayonetta > N > Wander
GLaDOS > Cole > Ragna
Ike > Proto Man > Robotnik
Epona > Mordin > Niko
Altair > Ratchet > Shulk
Lara > Slime > Yuri H
Kefka > Zack > Ryu H
Cloud > Prinny > Armstrong
Frog > Joe > Jack
Lugia > Sly > York
Dante > Laharl > Raz

Squirtle > Ramza > Denton
Zidane > Ridley > Dancin'
Shadow > Yu > Kat
Leon > Wesker > Oliver
Gordon > Simon > Hades
Crono > Missile > Kerrigan
Pikachu > Lloyd > Big Daddy
Magus > Otacon > Jade C
Sora > Scorpion > Aya
Gilgamesh > Booker > Kaim
Yoshimitsu > Lu Bu > Groose
G&W > Lee > Meat Boy
Drake > Pac-Man > Steve
Blue > Fox > Wolf
Samus > Sandbag > Isaac C
Catherine > Neku > Vaas
Knuckles > Celes > Seifer
Ezio > Tails > Bomberman
Auron > Ocelot > Roxas
L-Block > Palutena > Teemo
Dragonborn > Nook > P.Head
Yuna > Chief > Claire
Tifa > Chun-Li > Cirno
Mario > Duke > Fawful
Vivi > Jensen > Marisa
Ganondorf > Guybrush > Max
Squall > Rayman > Video
Ammy > Vyse > Adol
Missingno > Tidus > Banjo
Wario > Creeper > KoAC
Red > Corvo > Sissel
Wrex > Cecil > Pit
MM > Magikarp > Geno
Kratos > Recette > Travis
Jill > Haggar > Red Bird
Zero > Kratos A > Boko
WCC > Claptrap > Lenneth
Rikku > ?-Block > Lyndis
Zelda > Marston > Sackboy
DK > Lightning > Falco
Charizard > Riku > Nier

Round Two and Beyond
Link > Raiden > Yoshi
Shepard > Aeris > Tharja
Draven > X > Ryu
Sonic > Barret > Dracula
Mewtwo > Wrighto > Vincent
Bowser > Sub-Zero > The Boss
Sephiroth > Morrigan > Spyro
Big Boss > Luigi > Ness
Kirby > Elizabeth > Crash
Snake > Alucard > Bayonetta
GLaDOS > Epona > Ike
Kefka > Altair > Lara
Cloud > Frog > Lugia
Squirtle > Dante > Zidane
Leon > Gordon > Shadow
Pikachu > Crono > Magus
Sora > Gilgamesh > Yoshimitsu
Blue > Drake > G&W
Samus > Knuckles > Catherine
L-Block > Auron > Ezio
Tifa > Dragonborn > Yuna
Vivi > Mario > Ganondorf
Squall > Missingno > Ammy
Red > Wrex > Wario
MM > Jill > Kratos
Zero > Rikku > WCC
Charizard > Zelda > DK
Draven > Link > Shepard
Mewtwo > Sonic > Bowser
Sephiroth > Kirby > Big Boss
Snake > GLaDOS > Kefka
Squirtle > Cloud > Leon
Pikachu > Sora > Blue
Samus > Tifa > L-Block
Red > Squall > Vivi
MM > Charizard > Zero
Draven > Mewtwo > Sephiroth
Snake > Pikachu > Squirtle
Samus > MM > Red
Draven > Snake > Samus (Finals)

Caim > Dancin' > Chester

Bonus Matches
Mario > Crono > X
Link > Snake

MM > Mewtwo > Pikachu

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