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Results Edit

Round OneR1M49
Thursday, August 1st, 2013

Ulti's Analysis Edit

For a split second I thought Scorpion had a chance in this match, but then I realized this site has a hard-on for Kingdom Hearts for whatever reason. That series has two good games in it and only two: the original, and KH2. That's it. Everything beyond that is Tetsuya Nomura proving that he has no business making video games for any reason. Someone needs to just realize that Disney has become completely irrelevant to Kingdom Hearts and is shoehorned into every game now.

Oh and by the way.... https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B8cPyvE2GTjOMzE4MTVlZTctMjE5Yi00YzAzLWJjZTAtZTllODY2OTc2MTMx/edit?hl=en_US

That is the most accurate description of that abomination of a plot you'll ever find, and it'll save you from ever having to play any of the games. You're welcome. I take gifts and donations, preferably peanut butter Christmas cookies with that colored sugar sprinkled on top.

Also, are the Parasite Eve games worth playing? They're from the era when Square wasn't garbage, and I've always been curious. But they're a third person shooter, or something? Someone explain what those games are about, if you feel like it.

Recipe for Parasite Eve

-1 cup Squaresoft
-2 cups JRPG
-A tablespoon of guns and magic
-Big pinch of Quest 64 combat system

Mix together, make sure not to add extra playable characters, add to baking tray, bake for 30 minutes, let it cool, serve. -LazyKenny

I'll take this guy's word for it!

Zen's (Late) AnalysisEdit

If Sub-Zero had been in this match there might have been something to talk about, but Scorpion has been around since the beginning of contest history and there was plenty of data to show that he had absolutely no shot.

Kingdom Hearts III is finally coming out this year after two centuries in development, and even though Haley Joel Osment looks like he's one cheeseburger away from a massive heart attack, Sora will most likely be stronger than ever in this upcoming contest thanks to the continued KHIII hype train that pulls into the station every few months.

It's like Snowpiercer, the hype train just keeps going through the frozen tundra of mediocre KH spinoffs while on board Haley Joel Osment is eating babies to gain strength or something. Not sure where I was going with that metaphor. I'm one to talk I literally had three burgers and eight beers and like five babies last night at my friend's place.

Yeah this was a match that happened, Aya Brea got her time on the front page again, and some people argued she might LFF Sora because... Square Enix? OK, sure, yeah. That worked out great.

In other news Mortal Kombat XI is probably coming at some point. Did we ever revisit the idea of getting Reptile into one of these things? Or Liu Kang, Johnny Cage or Shao Kahn? There's some kind of potential there. Maybe. Probably not.

2013 Contest Matches

Round One
Link > Isaac > Tingle
Raiden > Waluigi > Alan
Yoshi > Solaire > Demi-Fiend
Shepard > Olimar > Kain
Tharja > Tina > Juliet
Aeris > Hero > Rinoa
Draven > Jak > Chie
Ryu > Yuri L > Face
X > Jigglypuff > Welkin
Sonic > Fei > Dan
Dracula > Lucina > Caim
Barret > Layton > Reimu
Wrighto > Marth > Nightmare
Vincent > KOS-MOS > Dunban
Mewtwo > Zero > Chester
The Boss > Chrom > Heavy
Sub-Zero > Garrus > Frank
Bowser > M.Knight > Archer
Seph > Midna > L.Mac
Morrigan > Edgey > 47
Spyro > Clementine > Reyn
Luigi > Balthier > Jade
Big Boss > Viridian > Peacock
Ness > Locke > CATS
Elizabeth > Poison > Thrall
Kirby > Terra > Peach
Crash > Wheatley > Vercetti
Snake > Isaac > Keen
Alucard > C.Falcon > Rydia
Bayonetta > N > Wander
GLaDOS > Cole > Ragna
Ike > Proto Man > Robotnik
Epona > Mordin > Niko
Altair > Ratchet > Shulk
Lara > Slime > Yuri H
Kefka > Zack > Ryu H
Cloud > Prinny > Armstrong
Frog > Joe > Jack
Lugia > Sly > York
Dante > Laharl > Raz

Squirtle > Ramza > Denton
Zidane > Ridley > Dancin'
Shadow > Yu > Kat
Leon > Wesker > Oliver
Gordon > Simon > Hades
Crono > Missile > Kerrigan
Pikachu > Lloyd > Big Daddy
Magus > Otacon > Jade C
Sora > Scorpion > Aya
Gilgamesh > Booker > Kaim
Yoshimitsu > Lu Bu > Groose
G&W > Lee > Meat Boy
Drake > Pac-Man > Steve
Blue > Fox > Wolf
Samus > Sandbag > Isaac C
Catherine > Neku > Vaas
Knuckles > Celes > Seifer
Ezio > Tails > Bomberman
Auron > Ocelot > Roxas
L-Block > Palutena > Teemo
Dragonborn > Nook > P.Head
Yuna > Chief > Claire
Tifa > Chun-Li > Cirno
Mario > Duke > Fawful
Vivi > Jensen > Marisa
Ganondorf > Guybrush > Max
Squall > Rayman > Video
Ammy > Vyse > Adol
Missingno > Tidus > Banjo
Wario > Creeper > KoAC
Red > Corvo > Sissel
Wrex > Cecil > Pit
MM > Magikarp > Geno
Kratos > Recette > Travis
Jill > Haggar > Red Bird
Zero > Kratos A > Boko
WCC > Claptrap > Lenneth
Rikku > ?-Block > Lyndis
Zelda > Marston > Sackboy
DK > Lightning > Falco
Charizard > Riku > Nier

Round Two and Beyond
Link > Raiden > Yoshi
Shepard > Aeris > Tharja
Draven > X > Ryu
Sonic > Barret > Dracula
Mewtwo > Wrighto > Vincent
Bowser > Sub-Zero > The Boss
Sephiroth > Morrigan > Spyro
Big Boss > Luigi > Ness
Kirby > Elizabeth > Crash
Snake > Alucard > Bayonetta
GLaDOS > Epona > Ike
Kefka > Altair > Lara
Cloud > Frog > Lugia
Squirtle > Dante > Zidane
Leon > Gordon > Shadow
Pikachu > Crono > Magus
Sora > Gilgamesh > Yoshimitsu
Blue > Drake > G&W
Samus > Knuckles > Catherine
L-Block > Auron > Ezio
Tifa > Dragonborn > Yuna
Vivi > Mario > Ganondorf
Squall > Missingno > Ammy
Red > Wrex > Wario
MM > Jill > Kratos
Zero > Rikku > WCC
Charizard > Zelda > DK
Draven > Link > Shepard
Mewtwo > Sonic > Bowser
Sephiroth > Kirby > Big Boss
Snake > GLaDOS > Kefka
Squirtle > Cloud > Leon
Pikachu > Sora > Blue
Samus > Tifa > L-Block
Red > Squall > Vivi
MM > Charizard > Zero
Draven > Mewtwo > Sephiroth
Snake > Pikachu > Squirtle
Samus > MM > Red
Draven > Snake > Samus (Finals)



Caim > Dancin' > Chester

Bonus Matches
Mario > Crono > X
Link > Snake


MM > Mewtwo > Pikachu

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