Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Hold up, a match pic without Lara having DDDDDDDDs? I'm confused.
I'm also mega confused by this match. I expect Yuri Hyuga to be really weak, but I was not expecting Lara Croft to be a beast. I guess people liked her series getting a reboot, or something? This was the first time Lara looked even halfway decent in a contest in six years, and barring that pointless female contest, this was the first time Lara completely crushed a match since 2002. That's a long period of contest futility there, and to randomly see it turned around was odd.
Oh and let's throw Slime some love. Dragon Quest is a good series, but this match really showed that Slime is the mascot for that series. Lara may have rocked this poll, but Slime did not embarrass himself. We've all killed hundreds, is no thousands, if not even higher numbers of Slimes, but we all love the little guy.
Long live the Slime! But not the Metal Slime, that guy is a coward and a dick. You take 1 damage from everything, y u no fight me? =(
Poor Yuri, he almost got septupled by Samus in his first ever appearance then took a loooong nap and got woken up with Lara Croft's gun in his face. Stick him in the freezer, Lara!
Lara was coming off of her hot new reboot game where she looked like Alicia Vikander, the only woman worthy of Michael Fassbender's love. Wait, I think I got my timeline wrong...
Regardless, people now take Lara seriously now despite ridiculous scenarios like her murdering 300000 people then getting real real sad cuz she killed a deer. I get it, it's a video game, but other video games do "being a video game" way better. Having Lara grunt a lot and talk to herself sarcastically is enough to get her onto Nathan Drake's level I guess. Should have gone all the way and gotten Nolan North to voice her.
Slime finally made a contest appearance and even though it was nice to see copious Dragon Quest reps make the field, unlike Final Fantasy people don't seem to particularly care for that series' characters here, even its mascot. Maybe Jessica from DQVIII would do alright? Boobs.