Monday, July 15th, 2013
Mewtwo scoring the contest's biggest blowout will get its just due in future writeups, I promise. It's also getting harder with each passing contest to sing the praises of a blowout we all saw coming. It was a blowout. It takes a series of circumstances. Mewtwo took advantage of those circumstances and crushed, as we all saw. Woohoo.
But this was all about Chester. Chester holds a special place for us at Board 8, because favored user Icehawk named his dog Chester. The very short story is that another favored user who goes by agasonex (totally not Xenosaga backwards guys) made a neat little indie platformer on Xbox Live to honor Icehawk, Board 8, and most notably, Chester the dog. If this was Board 8's contest, and if the 8 seed line was Board 8's tribute, then this was Board 8's match. More than anything Phoenix Wright, L-Block, Link, or anyone else has ever done.
So for those looking at this in a few years who don't "get the joke" as they see that 3.51%, this was never about Chester doing well, or winning, or whatever else. This was about making history. We WANTED Chester to get the lowest score ever and be remembered as the weakest character ever. To compare, just look at Zero in this same exact match. Who is ever going to care about his second place score, bad as it was? Chester is way more memorable in his own special way, and it's stuff like this that really makes me look back at this contest and hope that people give Allen a break. He did a lot of stuff for us this year.
No, this was about Icehawk's dog -- our dog. This was about Tanner's projection to actually win a match now. This was about Chester being a new unit of measurement for stats now. I'd dig up a picture of the actual dog, but I respect Icehawk's privacy more than that. If he wants to put a picture on the wiki later, that's up to him.
Just know that we love you and your dog forever in our own special way, buddy.
@agasonex is banned I guess cuz I can't tag him. I wanted to thank him for creating *spoilers*.com, a site that (sadly) was a defining part of my adolescence. There may or may not be a cringey comment or two from a 13-year-old ZenOfThunder still stinking up that website.
I can never run for President.
Board 8 legend agasonex created a game called Chester, and we decided to get him in because the only thing Board 8 loves more than Character Battles is getting obscure Board 8 in-jokes into Character Battles.
And that was the entire plan, because nobody thought Chester would make it in, and due to getting an 8 seed he was actually given... a... winnable situation?
Now people were conflicted: Originally the idea would be that none of us would vote for Chester so that he'd come up worse in the X-Stats than Tanner, therefore entering the pantheon of Fun Contest History Trivia, but now he was up against big time nobody and obscure visual novel villain Zero.
The day came and some people voted for Chester and a lot didn't. He ended up getting over 900 votes, some of which I guess were peeps who thought his match pic (an aga original!) was funny or to anti-vote Pokemon. There aren't 900 B8ers, right?
It all worked out though, Zero still quadrupled him, and Chester is definitely the weakest character ever in these things. Could he beat someone (Caim) someday? Maybe. Will we ever see him again? I don't think we need to.
You know, I made a game. I got it indexed on this site: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/709438-misplaced-max
The site to download it doesn't exist anymore though so I guess it's just lost media. Maybe in another reality Misplaced Max would have gotten in in Chester's place, but my legacy cannot compare to that of aga's.