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Alucard

Alucard - full name Adrian Fahrenheit Tepes. The son of Dracula in the Castlevania series.

Similarly to Gordon Freeman, Alucard never seems to perform as well as he really should do in contests. And just like GFNW, there is a reason for this- it's all part of Alucard's Plan.

But what is this plan, and why does it involve losing? Well, let's think about this a bit.

Celia Fortner tells us in Dawn of Sorrow that, in order for God to be truly good, there must be an equal evil- the Dark Lord. Therefore we can assume that Dracula, the Dark Lord prior to his ultimate defeat in 1999, must have been equal to God. His son, therefore, must be equal to a son of God, only the evil equivalent.

Except, of course, Alucard isn't evil. So he's a good son of God. In other words-

ALUCARD IS JESUS!

We've always known that Jesus has been planning to return at some point, but he never said how. Technically, a vampire should be dead, but as Alucard was born a vampire, it makes more sense for him to be the reincarnation of someone who was already dead. And what better way for Jesus to conquer evil than to turn its own power against it?

Alucard is easily capable of wiping the floor with the rest of the competition. But he chooses to lose, sacrificing his victory for the sake of us. We may not be able to understand how or why, but that too is part of the Plan.

So why was he able to beat Kratos? Simple. Kratos beat up another 'god'. Alucard had to prove that he was superior to the false God Ares by laying the smackdown on the heathen.

Alucard spelled backwards and translated phonetically into Yiddish means "He Who Smells Faintly of Cedar."

He also got placement number forty-two in the all-time average x-stat rankings. Anyone surprised? All part of The Plan.

The Plan ultimately came into fruition in Character Battle X, as Alucard finally performed as well as expected and won his division for the first time!

Winning Streak Performance[]

The Plan proved ever almighty against the God of Late Night Comedy, Conan O'Brien, but wisely set up a victory against the swashbuckler Captain Jack Sparrow, since Alucard didn't want to upset the Flying Spaghetti Monster, God of Pirates and Midgets.

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