Board 8 Wiki

The Second Week of the Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 2 Tournament.

~Week 2~[]

Battle 17: DSRage vs. TimJab[]

~The Score~

DSRage: 1
TimJab: 5

~The Raps~

Uncover your eyes, uncover your ears
I'm about to turn crazier than Britney Spears
I want you to experience me and shed some tears
Maybe out of laughter, maybe out of fear

Enough about that, you suck so much
I mean you suck so very very much
You suck so much that you I can't touch
If I touched you you would cry so much

Are you scared of me yet, are you dead?
I'm about to make the next move and shave my head
And punch you in the face until it turns red
this is my rebound rap, *****

i came in here to talk some shit,
and ended up teachin you how to spit,
get some flow dog, maybe quicken the pace,
like a fed ex delivery of my fist to your face,
it's always on time and the mail always goes through,
time to find out what TJ can do for you,
and what i'll do to you, if you ever step to me,
i'll rip your shit open like a hysterectomy,
your girl? she's havin sex with me,
i'm sorry but it's true,
she said your shit's played out like blink 182
if she ever liked you she must be eyeless,
if she could see she'd know all you're packin is a stylus

A small intermission- just what you need
to recover from my punishment, you dumb weed
I will pluck you from this earth since it has no need
For a useless, ugly, over-populated weed.

fuck shit shit- Is that all you can say?
It's cause your mouth is full of it, mmkay?
Don't teach me to spit, just try for yourself,
Spit that shit outta your mouth, just spit it out!

Nice reference to my name, that always works the crowd
But the rest of the rap was simply you being loud.
Don't tell me how to rap, bitch, I go my own way
YOU should stop being mainstream, you dumb *****

first off did you listen to a word i said?
i tried to help you now it's time to rip off your head,
you rhymed need with weed and weed with need,
you got no vocabulary mine inspires greed,
ds it's time to concede, please don't breed,
or i'd be forced to proceed and make your ugly children bleed,
you cannot succeed,
the whole crowd knows this, but ignorance is bliss,
so keep on goin if you think you can rap,
while the audience catches up on an afternoon nap,
be-cuzzzzz after all they all know who's greater,
you're tanner and i'm voiced by david hayter

Battle 18: AlecTrevelyan006 vs. Jukkie[]

~The Score~

AlecTrevelyan006: 6
Jukkie: 1

~The Raps~

Here comes a verbal duel, at dawn if you prefer
You'll be playing Hamilton cuz I got dibbs on Burr
I'm gonna be Ed Norton, deal your head a sick curb stomp
Prepare yourself for failure, this battle's gonna be a romp

Better place a bet in Vegas, cuz this battle is a lock
As you see I am the master, you're the new kid on the block
You're minor league forever, and you'll never make the bigs
'stead you fail in each attempt, like a rappin' Bay of Pigs

So show me what you got, I'll even let you toe the mound
First pitch I'll hit a homer that'll never touch the ground
I'll beat you in this battle, then I'll take this tourney's crown
They should call you "the syndrome", cuz you are going downs

I came to the show, I rocked it
You cant stop my flow, I shock it
This is the start of a lyrical jam-bo-ree
I don't care what you think, nicca can't hang-with-me

Cause you will fail this battle because I own
You will never begin to beat me witha microphone
I bust out nursery rhymes that leave you broken and alone
Nick-nack-patty-wack give you mom my bone

Father, I don't wanna leave these people too blessed
Cause when I spit, most of em think I'm Po'-ssessed
But I guess that you stressed, when I pop beats off the chest
Don't jest with the best, cause I'm on a quest to put you to rest

I was rushed in my first verse, and to that I have confessed
But it doesn't matter when my trough's above your crest
No need to get all stressed, by you I'm not impressed
You'll get crushed like a pest, up against this tourney's best

I come off quite gregarious, but in truth I am nefarious
I can crush you fifty ways cuz my methods are so various
The thought that you'd compete should define the word hilarious
Gonna get you on the run, Alexander to your Darius

I don't know why you showed if that's all you can muster
Are you buyin' yourself time with that putrid fillibuster?
From the start you had no chance, up against this killa g
But boy you disappointed, more than the new trilogy

Rushed on your first? More like busted.
Clearly your worst, makes me disgusted.
Your whole first verse, needs a huge adjustment.
Rhymes so bad, you should reimburse the whole purse.

This is my testament, Jukkie been pressed against a fad.
Done the best I can to get next to it, before I go mad.
Two thousand three will never be reborn, but don't ya mourn,
Cause' one thing that will never die is Nope, Unicorns.

Why waste your breath, nothing can be done
Ya done, son, ain't no more fun, can't get by with a fast one
What you begun, is for none, I can't be outrun, you weigh a ton
Go tell ya loved one, or a nun, and if that don't work, ask BigPun

Battle 19: TheKnightOfNee vs. Ayvuir[]

~The Score~

TheKnightOfNee: 6
Ayvuir: 1

~The Raps~

Ready to get beat down, gonna take me on?
Or will you flee town, like mister Aeon
I beat you once, now watch the second time happen
People love my rappin' like Palmer loves dappin'
I'm not gonna stop your current streak of losin'
You'll feel like Machop getting KOed by confusion
After me, you've lost so much you'll have to buy a Garmin
And you won't be able to wipe, even with the soft feel of Charmin
Losing so much must be excruciatingly intense
But not as sad as your hope-filled pretense
Hope you liked this, next time you'll need doctors and nurses
Now take my shit out of your mouth and lay down your verses

People say my raps are shitty, they take pity
Just cos i'm not from stereotypical rap ethinicity
Well put down your guns, and lets have some fun
This white boys gonna show you how its done!
Don't run little Nee, but Aeon didn't flee, just got bored
Your raps are simple and your rhymes should be ignored
I applaud, for someone as bad as you beat yours truly
The voters, like your sisters, are totally unruly.
My aim is to get a vote, one or more in abundance
Then I can gracefully bow out and bid you good riddance
Can you strike back like the Empire in Star Wars?
Or will you lay down like your mom and the other street whores?

I won't just strike back, you see this Jedi's returning
Feel the pain of my attack like when Anakin was burning
Hi, the high ground is where I'm found, high on this mound
You lay below, with the lava's flow (it's slow, like your sound)
I really set you ablaze when my raps get ignited
I put the crowd in a daze, and they leave delighted
Do I need to add more? All your scores will be zeroes
Battling you is a bore, instead I'll go watch Heroes


I'm back, watched an episode where Mohinder was in Delhi
And do you see, I can use more tricks than Peter Petrelli
Nothing you create can equate my great power
Now don't be late. While I wait, I'm paying your mom by the hour

Oh Nee your just like the Phantom Menace
A stupid idea with a stupid premise
So you have the high ground, what of it?
I'll come through your anal ring, just like a hobbit
You may be ablaze but i'll put you out with water
Then fuck your daughter, and feed her like lambs to the slaughter
I've fought better rappers than you, so i will get a vote
Even if i have to rally just to keep afloat.
Watching Heroes makes you instantly a loser
Watch Lost, it'll make you a better user
Flashbacks and time travel, it'll have you confused
And bemused, whilst i'll be sitting here, looking amused.

Battle 20: WalrusJump vs. Fetusbucketeer[]

~The Score~

WalrusJump: 3
Fetusbucketeer: 3

~The Raps~

Pleased to make your acquaintance, Walrus is my name
Now that the greeting's over, up goes my lyrical flame
This rap battling game will be one you've lost decisively
Spitting death, my words cutting your ass incisively
This lyrical castration on a level not seen since Lorena
Your junk so full of bullshit we'll just christen you John Cena
Faced with sublime perfection, that would give God an erection
Dwarfing the fuck that gave Barack the '08 election
So really, just give up - there ain't much hope at all for ya
With people voting me like I'm kguy playing some mafia
You can't stop me, whatever you throw I won't even twitch
'Cause in terms of rap battlin' I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, bitch!

Well I guess I have to give it to you - at least you can spell, B
But get a buzzcut man - your hair looks worse than Peter Petrelli's
Oh hey your mother's a whore - I never beat around a bush
Well I beat around hers... uh, until she told me to push
But don't you worry I'm not your dad and if I were I'd pay money
So you wouldn't lie all alone on the bedroom floor cuz you're hungry
Well it's probably time in the rap where I boast about my skills
But I'd rather call your mom a whore again so I think that I will -
Your mom's a whore, there I said it and I hope it hits home
that your mom has sex for money and she's given me dome
I'm going now but I want to leave you with a few parting words:
Your mom has sex for money and hey, your mom? She's a whore.

Pssh, you've never gotten any action 'cept in a wet dream
Bet you were shocked when you woke up with pants all full of cream
My mother's faithful, and another reason you don't speak true
Is that whores willingly go down on anyone but you.
I'd say that it's your dick - but then it wouldn't be fair,
'Cause it's kind of bogus to rip on something that really isn't there.
You're a charmer like a troll, both figurative and literal
And your complete and utter ugliness is rather atypical.
So please, don't go braggin' about your bullshit lies
It's so pathetic that to be honest it left me surprised
So just go on back home, fap or something to let it out
'Cause you really have no right to say what the real stuff's all about.

Alright man, I'll always give credit where I see that it's due
And you earned some with your last verse 'cause some of what you said - it rings true
Like the part about me having little to no genitalia?
Yeah man you hit the nail on the head with that one - I just can't compare to ya.
When I was four I was saving my mother from a burning Land Rover
It was on fire because the man she killed sent assassins to pwn her
But they missed, hit the gas tank, and BOOM I'm a eunuch
But I don't let it phase me because it's like I have two dicks
You look confused so I'll use the rest of my time to explain to ya
That what a woman wants in bed is just a guy that'll lick her
So when you're getting it on and she's looking out the door
Just remember what I said an oh, your mother? A whore.

Battle 21: nintendogirl1 vs. ForcefulDragon[]

~The Score~

nintendogirl1: 10
Forceful Dragon: 2

~The Raps~

My 4x4s full, draggin’, yo’ ass to the ringside,
Shoulda been a hearse, but bitch, you are just too wide
Mind lingering long on a man of marshmallow,
I ain’t crossing my streams, and you’re still fucking eating jello.

Put your spoon down and listen, I’ll only tell you the once,
You’re facing raps Einstein, you’re the local village dunce.
Lie down, accept defeat, I need your submission,
You drown, be discrete, save on the physician.

‘Cos battlin’ on gonna get you bloody and scarred,
Watching me obliterate’s a study in art,
Private your decision? You’re fodder in this division,
While my vision shows the crowd provision for precision.

Forceful Dragon
I'm your lord N liege, your rapping supreme
And there's no place for you in EffDee's Regime
But I'm a busy man, so we'll keep this brisk
And starin me down bitch, you're takin a RISK

you're fightin an uphill battle, it's like tryna hold Asia
I'm rollin sixes all day and they're sure to phase ya
Snake eyes upon snake eyes watchin your chances fade
Shoulda never plied this trade and just stuck to gettin laid

All I see is cannon fodder when you shoulda sent your best
'Cause my lyrical forces are blessed when the battle most crests
You're supposed to be my worthy foe? you're even under dressed for death
Your chance of victory now? Even flatter than you're chest.

You reign supreme? Dude that was a dream,
Your regime I deem as stable as cream,
And I’m the one whipping, with my snake eyes on you,
Hypnotized you do my bidding, while power I accrue.
Yes, I went to Asia Minor, what did I find there?
Your sausage in Steiner, no finer a diner,
Your blessing exposed, your words juxtaposed,
As unopposed I disclose, the truth while you doze.
And you must be asleep, because those lines were weak,
I’d weap if they were, the best that I could reap,
So as your soul I collect, I reject to reflect,
In retrospect ‘cause all you did was get wrecked.

Forceful Dragon
To reduce your own shame just heed my advice
Give your quit notice now, don't even think twice
A continued loss of fame is just too high a price
Your wordplay is trash, its not even on par
With the stolid crap scrawled upon napkins in bars
Your continued existence, to this contest? A mar
You're old and washed up, at the end of your rope
Don't bother to cope just find a new hope
On eskimo terms you'd be stranded to float
I've seen raps with more bite been delivered by nuns
nuns with no teeth and no strength to gum
So quietly retire, bow out cause you're done.

Battle 22: SensiShadeSlaye vs. Ed Bellis[]

~The Score~

SensiShadeSlaye: 0
Ed Bellis: 5

~The Raps~

The girls all moan and the guys all sigh
Sensi Shade is here to make Bellis cry
He’s slick like grease an’ he’s quick like silver
Shade Slayer’s voice makes all the girls shiver

So-Called King Bellis thinks he’s hot stuff
Slap down a couple verses, he’s done ‘nuff
After all Shade’s just a flowless white guy
The likes of him, Ed don’t even have to try

Your mistake Bellis, Shade’s bringing the pain
It’s all aboard the motherfucking upset train
So happens Shade’s voice is Ed Bellis’s bane
I've sung Perish Song Ed, 3 turns remain

Ed Bellis
You made me cry, that much is true, but it was out of pity
I looked for hooks within your rhymes but only found a Smitty
Your fate will be decided by this one-man rap committee
And I judge your rappin skill is minuscule and itty-bitty
I’m Lavos to your Dragon Tank, I’m Smithy to your Mack
In terms of teeth I’m Colgate and I’ll brush you off like plaque
Your upset train just got derailed and flung right off the track
Cause your stocks go down like claimed cops while I’m tradin like a Jack
Perish Song is worthless here, King Ed has learned Soundproof
Gonna hit ya up with Judgment and you’ll take it like Bidoof
While Ed tore down all the houses and set fire to the roof
Sensi ran away and hid, cause his raps were just a spoof.

King Bellis has arrived to grace us with his presence
He’s come to throw scraps of food to his peasants
And by scraps of food I mean scraps of rap
His last verse hurt my ears like Spinal Tap
I heard something about toothpaste and Bidoof
And naked Cyclo dancing around on a hot tin roof

…You never actually said that? My mistake, dude
I apologize if my mental imagery has gotten you in the mood
Though I suppose callin’ attention to yer sexuality is a tad bit rude
It’s the only thing I could think of to make you come unglued
I’m sure the rapping backlash will cause chaos ensued
But I’d expect nothing more then the King of ineptitude

Ed Bellis
Try to make me come undone? I ain’t made outta horses
Try to push me around? Bitch, I’ll show you what force is
Wanna challenge the King? You better change all ya courses
Right now you’re forgettable, painfully bland
Y’all ain’t got the conkers to upset my command
I wield eight Master Swords, and you’re just GANNON-BANNED
Those rhymes were disgusting and painfully lame
This match is a slaughter, ain’t even a game –
Our host, he can’t even remember your name
This “king of ineptitude” just brought the pain
You’ll lose by a million, I do ascertain
And they’ll have to rechristen you SensiShadeSlain.

Battle 23: Rollthebones vs. RustyMrMokka[]

~The Score~

Rollthebones: DQ
RustyMrMokka: Wins by forfeiture

~The Raps~

Let's start this by me Rolling the Bones
Gonna get serious when I'm off the phone
but we already know that Rusty one this match
why am I even doing this might as well get on the patch
you lost cause you can't even post
but it's an easy win so might as well toast
I'm coming for you MOR
I'll slam you into a door
your gonna feel sore
go pick a local whore
but this is mostly rushed
I get interview and maybe I'll blush

Battle 24: Furious J vs. The Beginning[]

~The Score~

Furious J: 7
The Beginning: 8

~The Raps~

Furious J
Robbed of his first battle by Shaggy's cowardly act
Furious ready to rock the stage with the come back

Right now is the beginning of the rise of the king
With lyrics so bitching, they make a mute man sing
You've got no chance of winning, you best take to wing
I'm the champion of rapping, only waiting for the ring

You may have got a win, against a trivial opponent
But in the art of dropping rhymes, I'm the vital component
Your words are lies, I'll testify, I'm the only true deponent
You gotta know I'm the best in show, I bet it hurts don't it

A devastating win assured I'll step back and take a bow
And leave your punk ass saying, "Where's my God now?"

The Beginning
Hey God, it's TB, what the hell did I just witness?
You rose Laz'rus from the dead, so please help out J with his disses.
Cuz all I see is misses, shots at Shag that are stale.
Says he's Best in Show, so make this trained pup wag his tail
Lie down like a good boy, toss him a doggy treat
Forget the bite, he's got no bark, nothing more than a tweet
J's rhymes make the dumb speak, but you Lord cure the blind
Next time you heal the talentless, keep Furious J in mind
I ask of thee, give me competition for the next round
Cuz when it comes to this game, J is lost and will never be found
So I pray for my opponent, who's about to get his first loss
Could you scooch over Jesus? we need to make room on the cross

Furious J
You pray to your God, but he must not have been listening
Cuz your words are so bad, they could be the titanics christening
I'm a born-again atheist after reading your first rap
Cuz a belevolent God, would never let you spit that crap
You're rhymes are so horrible, they could be a biblical plague
I'd rather lose my first born, then watch you on the stage
I may be up on the cross, but you're down on your knees
Lookin' up at my shit and begging, "Please, J, Please."
But I'm not the rapping savior, I won't die for your sins
I'll keep rolling up the ladder, keep on chalking up wins
You're a rap abomination, with a sloped forehead and fins
TheBeginning ends now, and J's reign begins

The Beginning
What happened to 5 pst? don't you know that you're early?
Oh, that's just like you, J, always coming prematurely
Maybe you should have waited, read through it one more times
Cuz surely you're embarrassed for knighting me "I am Rhymes"
Or maybe proclaiming the "belevolence" of an ever-loving God
One who allows you to share the stage with TB, don't you find that odd?
"Please, J, please" when will you cease this display of mediocrity
I'm St. Peter at the gates, I condemn thee and show no pity
Turn away from this city! You belong in Sodom and Gemorrah
Where you suffer my wrath, isolated from my aura
But the time for biblical lines and rhymes are done
Spit my name in the past tense, I've only just begun

Battle 25: Biolizard vs. Cokes[]

~The Score~

Biolizard: N/A
Cokes: N/A

NOTE: Due to Biolizard's resignation and the lack of a proper replacement until the end of Week 2, this match was scored as a Technical Draw.

Battle 26: Blur vs. Princess Anri[]

~The Score~

Xtremeblur: 2
Princess Anri: 2

~The Raps~

Basically I bask in blastin' beginners back
Lyrically I lash enlightened linguistics you lack
Unapologetically I unpack unparalleled perfection upon your ass
Revolutionary rhymes that request to be rhetorically asked

Ominously I ooze omniscience on top the opposition
Viciously I vocalize verses with valiance and vision
Expressionless emcees entangled by blur enveloping every ear
Redefining standards of realness - rap's new renaissance is here

Amongst the ancients I assess my fate: Anri's annihilation
Notorious since nascence - the nexus of hip-hop's new nation
Relaying ridiculous wordplay repeatedly resulting in retreat
If you could please, skim this post vertically to truly understand your defeat

Princess Anri
Blastin' a beginner, is that what that was? Something almost singed me.
Lastin' til' dinner ain't gonna happen, cuz. You bring less heat than Shinji.
Unrealistic are your chances to survive with your straw hat and shotgun.
Raditz says your power level's sub-five. But I'm in awe that it's not one.

Each word that you pick has the same first letter. It's an unbelievable feat!
A gimmick to make your lame rhymes better, could you have been less discrete?
This league's better off without you. You want to make yourself useful?
So self destruct like Chiaotzu. Or use your neck to make that noose full.

Deicide's what you're waiting for. But showing up was your fatal flaw.
I decide both your fate and more. I'm going to spare no coup de grace.
Chumps conjuring contagious conjugation cause collisions catastrophic.
Keep your next verse courageous and remember alliteration is idiotic.

And I wonder, when I rap along with you - if everything could ever feel this real forever
Faithfully, you stand by me. My girl, my sunshine, so happy together
This is more than a feeling, this is an unchained melody, and I'm not gonna miss a thing
I don't think the world would understand - not Dion, not Houston, not Vandross - could put the love in their voice that I bring

There are many things that I would like to rap to you, but I don't know how
Unlike Zelda, you, my princess, will never be excused, so love me tender now
I was lost, so I looked, and I found you - will this happen another time?
You take my breath away, my own sweet child, and there ain't no mountain I wouldn't climb

Because you're just like heaven and I will always love you; you're the only cure I need
Ben Folds was wrong - I'll be the luckiest, should your life you choose to spend with me
All these verses we made, from the cradle to the grave - This is my final plea.
All I want is you. God only knows...Anri,

*gets down on one knee*

Will you marry me?

Princess Anri
Yes, yes. A thousand times yes. I'd never take another lover.
Now please get me out of this dress and get under the cover.
May our honeymoon last until the new Game Contest begins.
I'll be the small spoon. Ass ready, willing to accept your sins.
This is all happening so quick and I don't even know your name.
I hope it's not all just a trick and you really do feel the same.
I've never felt this way about anyone. I know it will last forever.
How'd you melt my heart at 21? Actually, I'm 22 but whatever.
Age makes no difference. I wouldn't care if you were only eight.
It'd be a criminal offense. But if I went to jail I know you'd wait.
I'd wait for you till the end of time. I'd count the days gone by.
Until our marriage is not a crime. Did I mention that I'm a guy?

Battle 27: TheLastOblesik vs. WiggumFan267[]

~The Score~

TheLastOblesik: 2
WiggumFan267: 1

~The Raps~

Let’s get this ball rolling with the opening rhyme
Cause “adios Aeon” is the only Spanish you’ll be hearing this time
I can spit in any language to all and their own
Leaving AA lost in translation he’s gonna need Rosetta Stone
Now it’s time I step in cause I’m the number one instructor
I’m so damn fluent I could be a Carnegie conductor
Unfortunately my instruction was to no effect
Apparently teaching Aeon how to rap was a big regret
I apologize for your failure to interpr’it
But you’re no guitar hero, hence your lack of frets
You can take this loss but please don’t be pissed
They call me Schindler but you’re not on my list

Good morning there Tee-low, time to rise and SHINE!
Aeon's left this playground, so now you're all *mine*!
You're just Tommy sittin' there at the top of the slide,
I'm here to be your Angelica, and knock you out of stride
Knock you unconscious, everything's goin' murky,
Only halfway done, ladies an' gen'men of the "jerky"
I'm your big bully, do I gotta say it thrice?
Your shit's so thin, its fuckin' REPTAR ON ICE
Put up a fight T-LO cuz yo' rappin's gettin' nailed
And I'm just spinnin' about a girl in *pig*tails.
We both ain't so sweet though, in which I take my revel,
Deep down, I'm pure evil baby; I'm the fuckin' devil.

That rap was stinkier than Cynthia in the sewer
TLO's out to cleanse Wigs no doubt cause I'm purer
I don't plan on going down so easily as NORG
But my rhyminz sure to keep you more hungry than Thorg
Call yourself Angelica? Well it's time to meet rap's Susie
Ima take your puddin pops then put you out in a doozy
Your rap is so criminal you're a lifetime felon
Mine is exploding inside you...ya feelin my melon?
Cause at the end of the day you'll be more lost in Paris
You'd be dying to concede me so I'll be your Sephiroth, Aeris
If you were an AIDS test you'd test positive for losing
I'd listen to your reply but I'll put a Gramps and start snoozing

Well I ain't one ya see to normally be too fickle,
but that lousy flow sure produced some rotten Pickles
I hadta shower after that; made me feel real skeevy,
Gonna nail your big behind, same as Stu does to Didi
Now think back, relapse, Thorg loses in the end,
The Winn-AR, Rep-TAR, sent Thorg to Washington
I'm the one testin your skills: Positive, AIDS and SARS
Next time watch where you buy your Fudgy Ding-A-Ling Bars
From Phil to the Lil its like my rappin' speed's at twin.
You're just a dumb ole TLO-saur and "I don't love him!"
The battle's over now man, you're no Susie Carmichael.
You've got no way to win, after I steal your tri-cycle.

Battle 28: Seginustemple vs. BBallman7[]

~The Score~

Seginustemple: 5
BBallman7: 5

~The Raps~

Look at you, all pumped to have your rep stomped and marred
The ball's gettin jumped - I got more hops than a bar
With just twelve I'm able to dunk ya under the table
The lyric drunk wonder stops at the seg stable
Only cables got your b-back, still livin in red pill fables
Where you the shit, spit ill, you see more shit than Clark Gable
Through rapid eye movement seven stays fixed on fiction,
Double six vapid bars later you're proven mixed up in conviction
Yeah, you've got sick diction, in that your flow's like a flu
I feel ill for putting double bee down in my debut
But your career has a shot, unlike your free throw don't miss
You should star in Def Jam as a silent protagonist

That verse was so weak, that's too bad cuz you need this,
I butchered the Walrus, you tied with a fetus,
I'm getting five stars from everybody that reads this,
Should have bet on this slaughter, cuz then I would be rich.
I'm so disappointed, you had so much potential,
Like a girl with a nice ass, but face needs some dental,
But you ****ed around, like insurance on a rental,
And I'll never back down, you can't cure this I'm mental.
So don't try to get lucky you're gonna have to go through me
But so far it seems you truly don't want to out do me,
So excuse me, you call this your debut but you already flopped
I just hit the winning shot news said your heart has just stopped.

Fatigued yet, sonny? Ready for this Segin set?
The league's pulling money and hedgin your 'bet'
But like a pet they see you through unease with nerdy hustle
Wheezing "please, he's a breeze, just use a lil muscle"
So apparent they're errant, your night terrors realized
I'll eat ya alive and spit you out til you're nihilized
As a Nietzche-derived rolled-up scroll unfurled
Ink in arial reads "What's the point of this world?"
In a whirlwind of words you've been pinned to the board
God of sin here to weigh in, play to win (praise the lord!)
Slay the already floored, and reward they who spin
Seginus genesis now begins and for you it's already ~fin

I'm litterally laughing out loud, because that was pathetic,
Your prewritten rap was a bit too generic.
Not even one line attacks me like your first,
Not even one line seems like you read my verse.
But why even bother you lost with a bleeding nose,
And you had your last rap written two weeks ago.
Back to the battle and your lame innuendos,
Seginus genesis, that's clever, I choose Super Nintendo,
Seriously Temple, I feel so disgusted,
You could have asked me for help and we could have discussed it,
This battle could have been epic but you got lazy and rushed it,
Now you won't get a vote, I'll be two and oh, **** it.

Battle 29: DigitalIncision vs. TVontheRadio[]

~The Score~

DigitalIncision: 2
TVontheRadio: 3

~The Raps~

I just woke up so lets make this quick,
TV, you here to suck my dick?
'Cause I'm stuffin' yo mouth like you need to stuff votes
To win this battle with ten inches down ya throat
But TV, I'ma grace you with a couple DI quotes
So you better listen up and take a few notes
But I gotta hurry like I said, got my girl waitin' son
My rhymes and flow penetratin'like bullets from a gun
Have yah even seen a girl, TV, have you had one in ya view?
The only time you get propositions is when you play Fable 2
But that's OK if the best you can gets in a game, kinda sad that the men light yeh flame,
Now I'm pullin out, sorry 'bout the aim, if anythin' you've just been shamed by fame.

I've been eagerly awaitin' for a chance to get back
My rightful spot in this league, the baddest battler in the pack
Anticipatin' spoken struggles with the setup by Cokes
But all I got from my opponent's shit-suckin' and gay jokes.
I ain't stoked with all of your disses, elementary
I'll make ya' see reality, just how you can't keep up with me
The only mystery to thee will be "Query my sanity!"
Exactly how it's meant to be to battle brainlessly with rappin's TeleVisionary
Digital is whack to me, analog is where I be
The pedagogue of Tagalog, my tongue's hands-on, get down and dirty
For precision lyric surgery, I cut yo' lines like Ryougi
Ending your very entity, a vicious verbal vivisectomy

Oh hey TV, so nice of you to show
I understand you took extra time to best my flow
That's cool with me though its sad to see
that you came up "short" as us-u-ally
Sure my insults came on a bit strong
But yo doin' your lyrical surgery all wrong
Your scheme is whack and your flows a joke, once again you come up broke
took all that time then come out and choke
Its like you playin' Trauma Center with no stylus to use
Precision takes backseat to raps that confuse
This ain't a hospital though I might call nine-one-one
Your raps are makin' me sick, as a replacement your done.

The only reason I take time to write retorts profoundly prime
The rappin' crime you call your rhyme pollutes with grime this art sublime
I have to find a state of mind
The kind aligned to crush and grind
Your bones I bind, all unaligned
Combined - a rambling Frankenstein
Which I unwind from space confined
The grotesque creature now unmined
To plague mankind with raps consigned
So hideous they'll make you blind
'Til I decide to shut yo' mouth and end yo' life, ain't worth a dime
Maybe you're better off with rappin' as an undead, buried mime

Battle 30: ExThaNemesis vs. MaxedOutRyu[]

~The Score~

ExThaNemesis: 12
MaxedOutRyu: 0

~The Raps~

I got trophies fillin’ my jeans like they bout to burst the seams.
And MOR’s winless just like Buffalo sports teams.
If he sports dreams of beatin’ me, he’ll have to raise his level.
Before I unleash this beast and leave him disheveled…
Pantin’ and suckin’ wind harder than dirt devils.
He’ll be breathin’ so hard like he just ran 50 yards,
Like he does at the special O’s with his fellow retards.
People wanna give me slack for holdin’ back,
When my weakest crack give Ryu panic attacks?!
Here’s some advice, MOR, listen to these hunches.
You wanna stand a chance, train hard with some verbal crunches.
Coz I just blasted you while pullin’ five or six punches


They say i can't do better than my last
I'll show 'em, Me and ExTha are in another class
It be easy to talk about his ex
Like how he failed to provide sex
There's even alts dedicated to that ***
Why she even ****** with him hell i dont know
But fuck that bitch, I have a lyrical itch
No more talk about ExTha's bitch
4 more lines, better be lucky the rules ain't sixteen
My assault is like a bloody tampon, wont be clean
Raging Demon sucka, cant block this
Round 2 then I finish this

I think I’mma make this rap about comparisons.
You’re the Mr. Slave to my Mr. Garrison.
You’re droppin’ balls while I’m Marvin Harrison.
So far apart that it’s just embarrassin’
You’re the game and I’m ertyu, coz I just beated you.
In MPC you’re PC-Supes, I just de-feat’d you.
You’re a Goomba and I’m Yoshi, I just eated you!
I could beat you if my first verse I just repeated, dude.
I’m a million degrees and you’re still cool when heated, dude.
Takin’ you off your feet with my lyrical de-cleater, dude.
So if I’ve beated you and eated you, and in all manners defeated you
Do you see any reason for me to still be speakin’ dude?

When I have time to this I'm unstoppable
Chances of you winning aren't probable
I see spur of the rhymes aren't good enough
Maxed Out bitch, My lyrics are tough enough
Sickly flow, might as well call it the west nile virus
Get injected by this then there's no end of hearing this
Nobody will mess with ya, you'll become a plague
I declare war sucka, ace of spade
Next time you come in my city, show some respect
Or i'll give you an ass whippin you'll never forget
And for the next bitch that has to battle me
Hold on a second.........there mom is calling me

Battle 31: MajinZidane vs. Swordsman12[]

~The Score~

MajinZidane: 4
swordsman12: 4

~The Raps~

well here come the swords, all ready to go, a vict'ry for you'd be surreal
that's fake like a dream, your strikes i can't feel, they'd hurt if i weren't type steel.
cos a swordsman you are, just not quite adept, you can try but i'd just 'defend.'
my shield's your one 'block,' you're gonna be swept, i'm the 'spurs' and this is your end.

maybe you should give up, read my words so you'll known, probably time to seek a replace
this hear is my sub, i'm the captain of flow, get some peanuts for you turtle-face.
you should raise a few stats, maybe try a tail glow, better yet go with an accupressure
this attack you won't dodge, it's one hit KO, bank a three in the clutch like D. Fisher.

you might pull ahead, but my shells do not miss, i will knock you right off of this road.
they're not even red, you shouldn't've fled, i'm peach and you're my servant toad.
i think you're misled, you're looking quite dead, take a rest maybe save in this inn
but you'll find you have bled, stuck atop your death bed, with me asking you "oh did I win?"

So here’s MZ, the rap battlin’ catastrophe
Can’t believe Cokes thought this joke is a match fo’ me
Ya rap’s a cheesy poem, flows even worse
A free lesson's what I’ll show ‘em, you’ll go home in a hearse
One hit KO? Thanks for all the laughter
You’re a nerdy bitch on Made: I wanna be a rapper
Poor little princess, you’re in the wrong chateau
Way outta your league and I’ve yet to reach my plateau
No Mario to save you, so bid your adieu
Survivors of my massacres are more rare than Mew
Your attacks are defective and ya steel ain't protective
Cuz the fire that I’m throwin is super effective

but your fire is weak, under-leveled and such, it can't phase an elite like me
work on your technique, you're still just a pipsqueak, as for now you can't touch MZ.
cos i'm quicker than sheik, with moves you can't touch, gonna knock you straight off of this map
like a rogue i will sneak, my "flow is unique," this "princess" you will not kidnap.

i reign over you, my words are your law, i'm a king while you're my lowly minion.
my people rejoice, hold me dearly in awe, while your no more than a palmer opinion.
i won't be outplayed, you'll require first-aid, got a gun while you're tryin' kung fu.
your words are low-grade, your attacks i evade, turnip spam and i'm finished with you.

i'm on top of the world, got the strength of an ox, you're as strong as a girl's beanie baby.
my wit is supreme, like a snide dr. cox, you're the lions draftin' Michael Crabtree.
i won't stop when you're down, 'til the ref pulls me back, keep on punching you square in the face
your words are off track, i will cut you no slack, a HADOKEN to keep ya in place.

Hurt ya feelings the first time, with this one I’ll end ya
Cursed to spit worse rhymes, “unique flow” can’t defend ya
See ya lip quiver, the blood ain’t menstrual little lass
River flowin’ down ya leg cause I just kiterunner’d your ass
Sheik or peach take ya pick cause it doesn’t mean shit to me
I’m like fox at FD, it’s a guaranteed victory
Waveshine to a spike, down is your trajectory
3-stock you quick, deliver a top tier valedictory
Head of the class, in my Prime like Optimus
You’ve been surpassed, this match was total dominance
This ain’t football, but you’re right that I’m a lion
King of the jungle, in this fight is where you’re dyin’

Battle 32: Swif7y vs. sonicblastpunch[]

~The Score~

Swif7y: 12
sonicblastpunch: 16

~The Raps~

i'm swift surely and damn this kid's dirty, he hits girlies.
the champs around and I'm takin this hands down like 6:30.

sendin quotables after you to provide the voters a laugh or two.
cause droppin nice bars is my most notable attribute.
and in this verse for you i'm not usin techs or gats.
cause this is personal, i'll hurt you with direct attacks.
let's address the facts: spb like to keep a dick in his throat.
guess that's why he's always ahead and swift to get votes.

don't like the clashing right? you more like the fashion type.
listenin to flashing lights, dancin with hermaphrodites.
swif7 hits you with massive might, propel you to drastic heights.
atmospheric gases strike, rapidly your ass ignites.

just who the hell is spb, how are you failin this abjectly
three letter abbreviation and you place two incorrectly
are you dyslexic or apoplectic in yer impotence
yer stanzas simply fallin limply at my wall of eloquence
against my force of rhymed discourse with verses rollin awesomely
you scrape along the bottom like a thorough colonoscopy
so grab that tactless sack of crap you prattled off to vent yer mind
and hang it in yer family tree where it can feel amongst its kind
and ask yer parents while you're there about yer birth certificate
scrawled swif7y in crayon with spittle spots all over it
they knew you're inbred and deformed like charles second the hapsburg
so you're named gibberish garbage like a random keygen password

alright fuck it, i'll sit you in my passenger seat with your feet up.
nuts tied to the dashboard, smile at you while i speed up.
settle in around 80 miles per, word, this next bit is morbid.
i'll hit the breaks, cause whiplash and watch you bust your nuts with your forehead.
then force you to do jumpin jacks with your elbows tied to grenade pins.
after ive taped open your eyelids wide to watch pornos with just shaved men.

breaking your face in with a hateful parade of punches from satan's brigade.
i'm not a polite guy... see, i'm taking you out and making you pay.
you fake what you say, heathen. i got the keys, the locksmith was shocked.
votin for me or sbp? that'll be a brief debate like "boxers or not?"
you wanna compare my flow to yours, try pissin against the niagra.
cause i actually keep my shit hard, you just pack your rectum with viagra.

it's sad how my opponent flaunts his sexual disturbance, he
stores hairless man porn in his car in case of an emergency
and spends the day dreamin about the ways he could ride with my nuts
i'm flattered, really, but yer desperation only undercuts
the shameful lack of cultivation that yer stammerin releases
schlongs and cars and punches are yer only conversation pieces
a tragic admission that you can't aspire to somethin finer
openin yer mouth wide for my balls to be yer headliner
and this continuous suckin has rendered you bitter and unstable
folks callin you nas because you've lost and you want on my label
but take solace in the knowledge that you left the way you came
marked out of one hundred points you matched the seven in yer name

See Also[]