Board 8 Wiki

The Fourth Week of the Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 2 Tournament.

~Week 4~[]

Battle 49: RustyMrMokka vs. Giggs[]

~The Score~

RustyMrMokka: 0
Giggs: 7

~The Raps~

Stop, relax, I’m busy with the facts
Stop, chillax, I’m stoned behind a mach
Crankin’ this music, it looks a lil sketchy
But I don’t care cuz this songs a lil catchy
You wonder why I’m never here
Cause you bump at the wrong time, but I have lil fear
I’m a starting forward, gettin’ all the floor time
While your on the bench, earning a single dime
Have fun with y’all life cause you wish you were me
Watchin’ your family starve, you still need to pay tha fee
This is brought to you by my cell phone
See y’all later, time to roll the bones

Why hello there, Mister Mokka, Mister rap cock-blocka
Votes I'll dock ya, you'll wish that you were on time when I clock ya
Spittin' "y'all", southern drawl? Shit was straight up comic
But I'll beat you punctually like my internal clock's atomic
You're new to this rap domain, desperate for some publicity
I'm killin' rookies like Payne, wastin' kids of all ethnicities
Kickin' livewire rhymes laced with vocal electricity
My raps'll Sting like you the Police with perfect Synchronicity
Rusty, your rhymes are corroding, each line I'm outclassin'
Piano wire across the throat cos Giggs' a rap assassin.
Every word in this verse deliverin' third degree burns
As your hope in this rap battle collapses like Bear Stearns

You seemed to bring tha heat, but it’s no fire
Cause that’s what I’m packing, man I’m such a liar
Cause I’m warning you, Incoming Fire Storm
I’m here this time rappin’ from my dorm
Wait a minute, I forget that I don’t go to college
But for a High schooler, I know I got more knowledge
Then a 30 year old man who lives in his mama’s basement
If this we real life, this rap would be a face plant
Cause right now the score is one nothing Rusty
I know it wounds hurt but no reason being fussy
As I make my final move and put you in a toss
All I’m hearing from this board is Get Lost

You think I'm some has-been? Giggs is in no mid-life crisis
Cos yo, I'm still in my teens, and yet I'm worshipped like Isis
Don't mistake talent for experience just cos you got neither
These twelve bars'll make Rusty take a permanent rap breather
And yo, "Get
Lost," you say? Well I'll just end this battle early
'Cos you're as alive as Mr. Eko, with flows as mobile as Hurley
This match was decided at the start but you just had to force the issue
I'll write the sermon for your funeral cos none of this board gon' miss you
Tryin' to big up your knowledge, but what you're dealing with's spectacular
Compared to my wisdom, you're Encyclopedia Dramatica
I'll gladly kick fools when they're down if they just can't hack it
Straight to the other side of town, your new home - the loser's bracket

Battle 50: Avyuir vs. TimJab[]

~The Score~

Avyuir: Wins by DQ
TimJab: N/A

~The Raps~

I was AWOL last time, preparing for this rhyme
But peeps were acting like i'd commited a crime!
I'm in my prime, so watch your back TimJab
Your mind will be so fucked you'll be going to rehab
The bracket's up, the first match will be soon
I'll dominate the leaderboard just like a monsoon
Tetris > Space Invaders for the potential upset
Take a note from my book and get in the mindset
I'll bet, right now, i'll finish above you
Exactly like FF3 over Sonic 2
Your bracket will elementry be a joke entry,
Like Crystalis, so we'll skip the pleasantry

Battle 51: Jukkie vs. BBallman7[]

~The Score~

BBallman7: -Win by DQ
Jukkie: -n/a

~The Raps~

Taking a DQ in a battle with Jukkie,
He looked at the matchup and said "Cokes just fucked me,
I'll admit you aren't lucky; you're not the first to face me and end it abruptly,
I know you had enough see, before it even started you knew you couldn't touch me.
But don't think I'll let you go and think I won't beat dead horse,
Cuz I'll happily unload a clip into a corpse,
And I don't mind this win it makes my ego much bigger,
Cuz now they'll say "BBall killed him, before he pulled the trigger."
So even with you running I'll still cause a collision,
In a league all by yourself you wouldn't win your division.
Cuz I'm known as a legend no one's even heard of ya,
You're another victim and I'm a mass murderer

Battle 52: Extha vs. TLO[]

~The Score~

Extha: N/A
TLO: Wins by DQ

~The Raps~

Thanks to cokes for hosting rap battle
Cause if aeon came back hed be grilled like dead cattle
Now let me shout out to the LNC with such precision
Including Jukkie, crasty, idyvino, and digitalincision
Let's not forget RayDyn, Mokka and rammtay
Fetusbucketeer's so bright he turns midnight into day
And if MajinZidane tries to hijack my topic
I'll light him up so bad like he was a fire in the tropics
As for realosix he may never come back
Hope no one says its because he's black
These rhymes dont make any sense but I'm just keepin it terse
And while we're all missing ExTha let me finish up this verse

Battle 53: sonicblastpunch vs. Rollthebones[]

~The Score~

sonicblastpunch: 6
RolltheBones: 0

~The Raps~

there's a science to this process that you just don't have the knack for
you skipped out on rusty's match and we're not sure what you came back for
the idea is lines interwoven, string concatenation
but prolonged exposure to yer work just mandates vaccination
'cause you're lazy and unpopular and sad like an overweight goth
it's no surprise "rollthebones" shifts around to spell "be loner sloth"
but anagrams aside yer plans to try and man the battle stations
have us all awaitin yer next self induced humiliations
found yer day planner, in fact, i think i'll read today right off it
"step one: lose to sbp, two: (question marks), step three: profit"
so go ahead, flounder and fail, and reinforce that all will deem
we add: another victory for me; remove: yer self esteem

Your style is a poetic crime, feminine rhyme after feminine rhyme,
Whereas my lyrics are sublime, the greatest poet of my time.
We outgrew anagrams long ago; SBP? “Public’s chants: No!”
I didn’t think I’d ever sink that low, but this battle is quid pro quo.
And when I man my battle station, you feel the sensation,
That creeping trepidation as I fight back the temptation,
To lay down this beating, leave you broken and bleeding,
With a fleeting chance of succeeding after this meeting.
Go ahead, take my esteem, while I crush your victory dream,
With my authority supreme, like a communist regime.
But don’t take it to heart, you were dead from the start,
Sonic died on Genesis, so depart; ‘cuz celebrating is my favorite part.

you must have caught some illness 'cause you sound and smell obscene
with all yer rhymes claimed as sub-lime because you're lookin worse than green
and yer delusions of empires reveal your brain's gone way too sick
you're wailin painfully like you're muhammad hassan's entrance music
well fittin considerin how short his gimmick stuck around
your life's been one big insult and it ends with you bein put down
or put to sleep or euthanized -- whatever euphemism serves
to properly convey the fate we've all decided you deserve
so comb yer puffy mullet back one last time for yer last appearance
find a spot on yer skin where the grease will cause least interference
and think about the compilation released once you're gone
"the best of rollthebones!" -- a blank cd with acne doodled on

Is that the best you’ve got for me? I think we all agree,
That CD won’t stay empty, you’re gonna see the best of RTB.
Not sure why you think you’ve got clearance to discuss my appearance,
the only interference is your adherence to weak rhymes and incoherence;
Rappin’ about wrestlers, you fuckin’ clown, you’ll never take my crown,
You’re juvenile mind will have to leave town, once I lay the Smackdown.
Get back to English class, it’s absurd, your pathetic use of words,
Three synonyms for euthanized I heard, in that weak rap that just occurred.
You said I looked sick; you’re right, I was up puking all damn night,
I was trying to hide my plight to be polite, your rap made me sick, alright?
But I’ll take a pill or maybe two, then do what I came here to do,
No illness will keep me from beatin’ you – with that, I bid y'all adieu.

Battle 54: DigitalIncision vs. Forceful Dragon[]

~The Score~

DigitalIncision: 6
Forceful Dragon: 1

~The Raps~

FD, good to see you my man how's it going?
I figure I'd ask before my magnificent showing.
You know, the one where I make you look like a biter?
Though all I'm really doin' is exposin' you for the righter!
With my verbal onslaught I perfectly spit capricious,
my rhymes flow freely just vicious and malicious;
because for you rap battlin me is nigh on ambitious!

I'm about to Force you down underneath my boot FD
I'm here to dominate this Dragon as rappin's top brute, see!
Do not disagree with this emcee known as Digi.
If you're wonderin' what's happening just read the marquee,
DI slays FD with an incision strong, begins his winnin' spree like he planned all along.

Forceful Dragon
Spendin time matchin length with rhyme
The essence of rap passin you by
Rap battlin' is gritty, aint gentle or pretty
'cos "pretty" means ******, ya get me?
Rap's hard hittin; rap's flow spittin;
not soft-written kittens with mittens

And so I'll kick yo ass until your marrow quakes
People takin bets how many bones i'll break
'for you give up, and its gonna be soon;
more contorted than platoon, your corpse be strewn
Featurin' more of your blood than Kill Bill'd allow
Nevertheless ya got a lesson from teacher now

FD call me Surge cause you just Shocked me good
I expected raps from you but I guess I misunderstood
I'm calling you Koga because those raps were Toxic in a bad way
Or maybe you're Giovanni, hittin the Ground in dismay
You can call me Blaine for ignitin' your raps, I'm Burning trash
I'm Gary now, your rival and I'm makin' a splash
Destroying your raps and leaving nothing but Ash
Damn FD you annoyance, you're like a bad rash

You're team rocket to my Pikachu your raps just cant win
You're going down again FD much to your chagrin
I think you got jipped as a Dragon you're defective
Call me Lorelei, ice beam to FD, SUPER EFFECTIVE!

Forceful Dragon
Shoulda known better'n start a vidya game rap;
Invoking the subject? Activating my traps
Shotty-melee your face, sticky nades on yo ass
And i'm ghostin the skies, warthoggin the grass
Got croc heads opened wide, logs dippin to hide
Even still I can ssssnake your frog from both sides
Yeah, my red shells trackin' with ease, balloons i will seize
green shells deadlier still, always comin in threes
Smashin up rainbow cruise, you must be playin to lose;
I'm runnin 700 percent and still takin abuse,
I've got a claim to fame you can't hope to tame;
You're still just the player, but I am the game.

Battle 55: Swif7y vs. The Beginning[]

~The Score~

Swif7y: 5
The Beginning: 2

~The Raps~

hello, i'm highly advanced plus the rhyme form demands.
that you respect this loss cause my mind is cyborg enhanced.
better believe it, swif7y's the best here so suck on my blessed pair.
i'll bury you so deep hell will seem like a breath of fresh air.
and the fact that you're weak, it's just a matter of speech.
i'll put my foot up your ass until your bladder retreats.
plus i'll ask for receipts every time you battle with me.
such a waste of my time i'll be refunded back a few weeks.
Fuck puttin lead in your frame, it'll embed in your brain.
and i'll have you runnin quicker than ink left in the rain.
i'll leave this rapper estranged with this gift that i'm sending,
to: the beginning, from: swif7... which is this killer ending.

The Beginning
Next time send your small package via express
Postmark it by the deadline to the accurate address
Cuz I didn't receive a gift, what I saw was a mess
Baseless attacks lacking style or finesse
Slow-witted rhymes forced my brain to regress
To your level of intellect on afternoons at PBS
So now I'm publicly endorsed, TB funded by the people
Watch as they flock, Swif7's hanging from the steeple
Investors worship me, they see their stock is paying off
Swif7's followers jump out the window, they were safer with Madoff
So here is your receipt, the gratuity's included
Hope you enjoyed your stay, The Beginning has concluded

aight it's time to come raw, dope, ill, tight and abusive.
cause i'm tired of holdin back like strikin masseuses.
blessed to spit and dressed to win with a meritless arrogance.
though i'm new to this conquest of disparaging narratives.
i'm swif7 bitch, i write with the mood of really pissed peasants.
and you'll be tortured in front of the town with medieval witch weapons.
i'll cause damage quick til gauze bandages cover all vantages.
i'm raw cancer sick, you're shootin blanks while i'm drawin cannons, kid.

not one quotable rhyme in that verse that you sung.
while i'm spittin them flames like i have lucifer's tongue.
i'm not sorry that i'm showin you up, a tyrannical image fuels my mic.
Fuck cocky, i'm just full of myself... like cannibalistic suicides.

The Beginning
First a day and a half, then it takes you an hour
Swif, you're a schizo, Maya Driscoll to my Jack Bauer
You're a self-composed couplet, no idea what-the-other-line is thinkin'
String together random words, bump into each other, a rhyming Blinkin
Now if Swif threatens to eat himself, is that a hostage situation?
And is his idea of a romantic getaway, right and left hand masturbation?
Under constant self-manipulation, you need to rip out your satan's tongue
Your flow can't breathe in there, it's just an artificial lung
You think you're a cancer, just confused for bovine aches

You're the stuttering b-b-buffallo using sporadic line breaks
Who claims to be full of himself, so that makes you made of bullshit
Guys and gals, Swif7 and his Verbal Diarrhea are now running for the exit

Battle 56: swordsman vs. Wiggs[]

~The Score~

Swordsman: 0
Wiggs: 6

~The Raps~

Drunk last night but I’ll thrive today
Either way I’ve arrived to quickly slay my prey
I’m the Ovechkin of rap, Alexander the Great
Deke through the gap and a score I create
One-Zero me, your ego deflates while ya ponder your fate
Defeat you await, grave is dug, head’ll be on my plate
All smoke and mirrors, a little man behind a curtain
I’m the true wizard, leave you hurtin’ for certain
Shootin’ lasers from my mouth and fire from my fingers
Deadly medley of chaos, no man lingers
Body scorched and mangled, you had no time to run
Like a shotty to the skull...DOA in round one

Charge you a penny for your thoughts, all you can afford
Gonna show you the Wig is mightier than the sword
Take your PC away from you, like the keys from the ignition
You're not goin' home tonight in this state of inhibition
I ain't playin games or tricks, got no cards up my sleeves,
What you see is the real deal, "Can you dig it, Keanu Reeves?"
Usin' mirrors to do your thing, your skills are just an illusion
Your whole premise's less believable than The Matrix: Revolutions
You're dreaming of beating me, and that'll always be imaginary,
That's about as real as "i", and as complex as fuckin' binary.
Feels like any rhyme that came out of your mouth was purely accidental
And while you struggle with your Base 10 rap, I'm goin' hexadecimal.

Don’t worry Cokes, I have what it needs
Hot lines to make ya shakey, drop you to ya knees
Try to take my keys? Smash ya face in with the board
QWERTY on ya forehead, with ease you’ve been floored
You’re wrong, this IS the matrix and I know it’s unbelievable
You chose the blue pill so to you it’s inconceivable
That I could have the skill to reach heights thought unachievable
Truth is, you’re merely average and I am the One
Bend physics to my leverage and I’ve only just begun
This lyrical, physical, and spiritual domination
Leave you speechless, lifeless, and faithless- ready for cremation
Scorched to ashes by an obliteration device of my creation

Down to the finish line, but you're out of cooridination
One last rap to put you in your place, via insubordination
Yer havin' trouble keepin up, watchin' a bunch of slow asses,
Cuz your pace is sloggin' down, like a Grimer through molasses,
Don't try typin' too fast, without practice it'll hurt you,
Pains me watchin' you do 5 WPMs, tryin' to type out "ERTYU"
Now that you've chosen your path, you'll be beggin' for that blue pill,
Yer all strapped down, forced to watch "The Day the Earth Stood Still"
Speechless, lifeless, faithless; I would say it describes you
Quite a close relation once again to our friend Keanu
And that's all there is to my hit rap of the summer,
"Dude you are so totally wasted.... bummer!"

Battle 57:F Furious J vs. Princess Anri[]

~The Score~

Furious J: Wins by DQ
Princess Anri: n/a

~The Raps~

Furious J
Anri's hit the bricks, didn't wanna take his licks
Even if he was here I'd send him to the river of styxx
He ain't got the tricks, to kick it with the J the slick
He's comin with the tenacity of newborn baby chicks

But J's here to dominate with a forceful performance
While fappings the closest Anri's ever come to romance
He's taking his martial arts test but it won't do him no good
If he stepped to me I'd snap him in half, just like balsa wood

He didn't have the chops he needed, to accomplish his feat
But winning against me is a fluke, with no chance of any repeat
Furious J is the pinnacle of rap, the creme of hip hop elite
Even if Anri were here, this match would end in his defeat

Battle 58: KnightofNee vs. SensiShadeSlaye[]

~The Score~

KnightofNee: n/a
SensiShadeSlaye: Wins by DQ

~The Raps~

It’s time for a story - ladies girls and gents About a guy named Shade whose raps were like torrents Of hellfire and hailfire and other kinds of fire too And maybe a little lightning, even, in lieu Of an opponent that likes fire - hey, I’m rambling Let’s get back to the point of this song that I sing

So this Nee guy, right? He’s afraid of my verses So he vanished, waiting for a weaker opponent to versus But you know, I’m not really picky, a win’s a win dude Not accepting this generous gift would be quite rude …Wait have I already rhymed dude and rude in this competition? Ah well, doesn’t matter, it’s not the point of this mission

Battle 59: SeginusTemple vs. Ed Bellis[]

~The Score~

SeginusTemple: 0
Ed Bellis: 7

~The Raps~

Ed Bellis haunts contest board, flauntiest whore gives fellas head on more occasions
when they pay him, fellatin - directly to the fore, swallow more, but spit creamy caucasion
spermguard the keyboard, let his flow be yours, mushroom stamp post button, stroke rod
broke off the wad. Meanwhile I fly like Icarus but get my wings signed by god
burned away feather things smoked ed 'king' kickin n screamin on rap scene flatlinin saline
so mean now read between coke lines: I'm divine, in your hell you won't dine, so stay lean
and now I deem it's time for a joke on ed's mammer
she can get in a line, but 'no loose items on the ride', so damn her
camera snaps shot of bell on rap coaster, realizing mortality
craps lots when he eyes me reapin over his lingual immorality
watchin him kill english will make me nauseous, so I'll ralph a bit
and my second verse will serve a single-hand seance of the alphabet

Ed Bellis
To challenge the king, step into my ring, y’all got mad fees to pay
So I hope ya don’t choke while you’re blowin much smoke, Mr. Seggie Fils-Aimé
Theatricality don’t suit ya, banality gon’ boot ya, need a rappin’ resume
I’ll sing ya a ballad bout an untossed salad, cause you’ll be in the ground like Caesar lay
Talk about coasters, ***** I’m the tycoon, gon’ burn ya an’ toast ya in a lyrical typhoon
Ain’t no rap drought here, I’ll bring the monsoon, see you flail about here like a crazy buffoon
Shoulda taken a dive, cuz you ain’t at all immune to the king’s massive jive and Seg-killin harpoon
What’s it take for ya learn – there’s just not enough room; just call me Mr. Burns and you’ll be my hired goon
Takin potshots at my mom ain’t classy, it’s just sad, but it’s still not quite as gassy as me ****in your dad
My mortality is timeless while your life is just a fad; you’ve killed men before but that was just because your breath was bad
I’m the majors like Brad, y’all just hang around like Chad, I’ll impale ya like Vlad, you’re a McQuack like Launchpad
You’ll soon rue this day, but I’ll be glad; another victim falls to the rappin’ jihad.

As a roman lord I banish Bellis's crap decap Ed his flow tapped like he's greekin
Like mappin hell he can't chart in tartarus, unlike the Spanish armada M-Jammer's son is weakened
His leakin corpse on my coliseum, Nero was never nuts as these, I do thriller and seize em
Please, his torrent was quelled like the router was sabered by Liam
My torturous words like light swords fight wars under mic roars
I'll spit vile venom into a vial, pour for Ed and serve without smile phased
While he spits on dude's ***** for lube, doin a mix of goob-like whores
Rubik's cubes or Rube's got nothing on this complicated style maze
Yo, cash rules everything around me, watch me superman that OHHHH
Bellis lick me like a lollipop, now here's the here's the here's the scenario
I'm the real slim Seggy and I like big butts
Bitch get out the way, Seg gon give it to ya

Ed Bellis
Seg resorts to gimmicks and quick fixes to jinx me; it stinks
Rippin’ off rhymes multiple times is a high crime, methinks
Resortin’ to chortlin’ out alphabet bold letters is borin’, I’m snorin’
King Ed gon’ pour it on in a torrent so raw you’ll need Neosporin
Hidin’ behind big words, I’ll chop ya into thirds and feed ya to birds
It’s absurd, your victory’s blurred, a slaughter has occurred
Wanna talk Greeks, I’m like Socrates, questioning why you exist
You’ll be the Oedipus to my Sophocles, and here comes the plot twist:
You’ve lost this game, I’ve tossed your brain, now gouge out your eyes
That you didn’t forfeit from the onset is the only surprise
You’re floating on the edge, Mr. Seg, now I’ll toss ya off the side
Tomorrow’s headline news: “Ed wins, Temple died.”

Battle 60: fetusbucketeer vs. AlecTrevelyan006[]

~The Score~

fetusbucketeer: 2
AlecTrevelyan006: 6

~The Raps~

If it's alright with you, good sir, I'd like to be polite today
To sort of change the running trend of spouting angst and rage and hate
So kindly and with your permission, Sir Trevelyan oh oh six,
I'll begin the act of complimenting your mother, your father, and your sis

Your mother was a gorgeous girl who blossomed into a perfect woman
with a heart of gold it's no surprise she landed your dad with her supple bosom
Your parent's love produced two children, one of which is you, of course,
the other being your little sister, with the poise and grace of a thoroughbred horse
Which isn't to say that your sister's ugly, because as any red-blooded young male will attest,
she's a prime example of effortless beauty, in her movements, her actions, her thoughts, and her dress

I hope that you're thankful of the gifts you've been given, but since you're so keen I'm sure you're aware
that you're life is considered by all as idyllic, your intentions pure, and your appearance fair

Why thank you mister fetus, as indeed you are too kind
I can see your soul is good, and your language is refined
But while you are quite nice, and all people find you charming
The way you misinterpret me is indeed quite alarming

You nailed it on the head, when you called my sis a horse
Cuz like one with broken legs, I’d shoot her without remorse
While mom and pop who are my source, and whose union you endorse
Were in my youth untimely split by beatings and divorce

So you see that while I turned out well, it’s not all good at home
While the story of your life makes a nice and happy tome
You call my life ideal, but it’s yours that I call awesome
While my family’s so screwed up I envy Michael Dawson (WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLT)

I once heard a tale of a man who had a seizure
during his pilot's test, he crushed the ground, killing billions at his leisure
'cause you see he didn't hit a field or pond of even forest -
What he hit was way more brutal, I'm surprised you didn't know this.

He hit the Large Hadron as hard as he could but didn't realize his mistake
until he was surrounded by millions of tiny black holes, each the size of a sperm of a snake
He just thought he was tripping or had a concussion but quickly he learned he was wrong
as his body got torn bit by bit he could feel it and died trying to think of a song

Now that might seem just a little bit strange - to think of a song as you're dying -
But this was a song that his grandmother taught him as a young boy whenever he'd start crying
It's a song about seizures and how you shouldn't have them especially when you are flying
And he never once thought that the song would be handy til [this rap is completely stupid and I apologize, guys]

Master Alec showed some pity, to apprentice Bucketeer
But alas his turn was wasted, like if Abra uses leer
Fetus blew his one last chance, to become a rap anointed
When he went and spat that crap, he left us disappointed

He should have known that facing me, defines foregone conclusion
And I had thought he had some skills, must have been some weird illusion
His raps cause brain contusions, with wit rare as cold fusion
And the occlusion of his allusions just leads to mass confusion

I know you’re trying something new, and for that you should be lauded
But if you can’t do better, your lil fan club won’t be crowded
While he fills his raps with charm, as his words seek to disarm
His rap career’s like Palmer; you could say it “bought the farm”

Battle 61: MajinZidane vs. nintendogirl[]

~The Score~

MajinZidane: 4
nintendogirl: 6

~The Raps~

my poetic rhymes do not disguise the sharpness of my word
sympathetic style, no compromise, i'll end this with my sword.
my transcendent flow, developed to show the lyrics I amass
yer response time slow, this cast i know, i'm bout to be kickin' your ass.

preform on my stage, let the world admire what i am throwin your way
got you trapped in a cage, keep you safe from my fire, your composure is weaker than clay.
you will need a white mage to prep for yer verse, my stuff is surely to phase her
open up a new page, read about my new curse, over here i'mma chargin' muh laser.

i will show you no fear as i charge straight ahead, you'll be tear-in' when i punch you out.
cement boots off the pier, after yer eatin' lead, this will be the one true final bout.
you're the first one to fall, like glass joe got no chance, come on i would LOVE a real match
for no longer i'll stall, there's no shift in my stance, got some C4 inside of yer snatch.

Now you’re calling, you’ve finally stopped stalling,
And you’re on your knees and crawling,
To my palace, lost as Alice, in my wonderland of malice,
Yet you’re trying to seem callous? What the hell?

I’ll give credit where it’s due,
You’ve stood up to let me blitz you,
Stupidly courageous, not a bit advantageous,
Useful as your AIDS, but not nearly so contagious.

Your lazer is a’ charging, and your penis is enlarging,
Proximity to oestrogen, your body is alarming,
Far too extended, but you’ve kept yourself well tended,
3 inches ain’t much, but yo mama thinks you’re splendid.

i recognize yer petty lies and i advise that you remise
i analyze what yours implies, makin' sighs about my size
well yer in for a big surprise when i revise what you've theorized
look in your eyes, you see your prize, find my "supplies" to be life-sized.

yes this implies that i would rise and let you have your very own try.
in my franchise we charge excise, so spread your thighs and try not to cry.
i plan your demise, put on my disguise, this "exercise" causes time to fly
with your outcries we'll feel up in the skies, but soon i'll have to say goodbye...

until sunrise you can surmise only to be fooled by my phony guise.
then i chastise, use my knife and incise, a final prayer for you from rabbis.
you were unwise to spread those lies, and my reply will summarize
that i despise what you've reprized; but in the end "spoilers" ngirl dies.

I see you feel anxiety, you’ve lost hold of sobriety,
You ain’t got no propriety, not welcome in society,
Your rhymes got no variety, can’t challenge a small fry MC,

While I got skills, give the audience thrills,
I give you chills, racking up the kills,
While, you’re slipping on spills and popping pills.

So I shame your claim, I became big game,
My acclaim is aflame, you never overcame your blame,
So I proclaim my name, I’m NGirl for shame.

This is the end, your conclusion,
Time to mend your quaint illusion,
I’ve just penned, your tournament exclusion.

Battle 62: XtremeBlur vs. TVontheradio[]

~The Score~

Xtremeblur: 2
TVontheRadio: 2

~The Raps~

Upon a provoked thought chain I've ascended from the deepest caves of sound
Four matches in, obliterating the competition with the keenest claves around
You're invoking a wrought brain that's already appended the obituaries of his opponents
Guiltier than sin, price of admission equal to the pay that comes with a Shinra employment

A top tier band's next on the hit list, what's this bedlam? Another to be raked on my death toll endeavor
'Sa crime testing my patience, but you're the victim - the melody I make maroons souls to be lost forever
It's true. Get so injected in this beat, they'll end up discovering Hoffa before they ever
Find you, but don't worry, those looking for Amelia Earhart will certainly feel a little better

Now one contender lesser, I'll Return to Cookie Mountain and send my letter off to Science
Turned thirty thirsty emcees into blood fountains, forcin' those Desperate Youths into silence
And Tonight, I'm a sabotage the truce of the Golden Age with ambitious and exquisite lyrical violence
Get Halfway Home before you realize my poetic wryness - contentless Wolves Like You are left Cryin'

So with your rap that's so clever - takin' titles TV treasures
Pleasures no one and not ever, with your prosy plodding measures
Lectures of your failed endeavor, never worthy learning ventures
Censures sounding your surrender, better give in to the pressures
Of the TeleVisionary, conquering your reality
That act will be your last, you see, for this rap's a Fatality
No need for twenty syllables, sixteen's a flawless victory
Syntactically no match for me, a determined finality

Now you Let the Devil In trying to **** with King Eternal
Wore You Out and left you Blind for Staring at the Sun, infernal
But I'll show you mercy, son; won't cast your Dreams into the fire
An Ambulance to keep you safe; courtesy of the Young Liar

A "TeleVisionary", you say? That's the imbecilic title you've crafted yourself?
Well I'm envisioning your decay; No more delay now, so fasten your seatbelt

I kill as many emcees as SDR gives hugs
Dish out more nosebleeds than Ali to a cokehead's mug
Make you clean up your own mess like a Janitor, Scrub.
Brain tissue spilled on the floor, convoluted as O'Reilly on drugs

I'll make you cry worse than Grave of the Fireflies
My arsenal's got more bullets than people in Shanghai
You could try longer than pi but perfection doesn't compromise.
You'll only end up more heartbroken than Will Smith when his dog dies

Wordplay on fire - forests admire - like the sound of the lyre, it plays in your death scene
Smoke more folks than tobacco, ruin idols like Jacko and the Clinton fiasco, time to start the machine

Perhaps my title might just prove a little hard to process
For the real ee-dee-iot box whose goal is "DQ!" for success
I'll have to spell it out for you, with every syllable and stress
A test of all your learning faculties - you fail, I must confess
But let's not jump ahead (although I'm right) I'm sure you'll play along
Cause "special" kids like you need lessons, too, to know what's right and wrong

The "Tele" in my title simply means "far off" in Greek
Exactly how you measure up to TV's worst day of the week
"Vis" and "ion" are both Latin, "see" and "be's" the definitions
Hackin' Blur's craptacular raps is a sight to see! Be wishin'
That you never scorned the psychic who just saw another vision
Fission Mailed went the machine right after starting the ignition

Battle 63: DSRage vs. WalrusJump[]

~The Score~

DSRage: n/a
WalrusJump: Wins by DQ

~The Raps~

WalrusJump, more like SphealJump, My humps, my humps my humps my humps, check it out. I am only posting this rap because of you, you're a foo and I don't want to lose against you. That would be embarrassing... so let me sing... We are siameeeeese cats This rap is phat, what what, in the butt. It's a poop, can't you tell?

I'm ashamed I even have to respond to that junk More bull**** than Ashton Kutcher when you're getting Punk'd Your weak-ass rap is shameful, you've got blame to show for it, And so does your mother for not using birth control for it Losing against me is embarrassing? I don't believe that lie 'Cause right now your cheeks should be as red as cherry pie Seriously, the Black Eyed Peas? What the **** were you on Because really at this point this battle is too far gone. So just accept defeat now before further humiliation Or else I'll be forced to make this a demonstration "How Not To Rap - Part 1, Featuring DSRage" So why don't you just exit this here rap battling cage.

Battle 64: Cokes vs. MaxedOutRyu[]

~The Score~

Cokes: -
MOR: -

~The Raps~





See Also[]