The Fifth Week of the Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 3 Tournament.
~Week 5~[]
Battle 1: Ed Bellis vs Rusty[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Ed
Howdy y'all, time for a show, grab your dinner and your crockery
Here comes the king, he's 4 and oh, gainst RustyMrMokka-ree
Gon' flood this fight, so don't complain; they call me Overflow
Rusty's born free but now he's chained by the lyrical Rousseau
Too late for you to make amends, the rent's too high in Bellis City
Want to appeal, just ask your friends – the gays and queens committee
Such a pity to get caught in this, but I'm actually quite nonplussed
As I iron out your awfulness you'll really become Rust
It's victory or bust for you – and boy, my nickname's Buster
You really haven't got a Clue – you're yellow, Colonel Mustah
That's also cuz you're set aflame, but you're not without your gains
I'd stick by you if zombies came, cause boy you've got no BRAAAINNNS.
Rusty
tha guys at yer asylum dig my lyrical dope
but when they read yer verse they be lookin for tha literal rope
and since i'm striking hard you've get minimal hope
cuz my raps bend you bend n fuck ya up with tha figurative shope
cokes you gotta be insane if you think this match is fair
critics eat up my shit up like girls do to my butt hair
they be reading yer raps but they don't even care
since you lost yer last life to my bear calvary tear
my surgery made me stronger which gave me smarts tha you lack
you gettin eaten by zombies after this kick to yer nut sack
ed gonna lose to the messiah since this verse made the crazies less wack
with the overkill upon you after this upcoming undead attack
Ed
You're right about the asylum – only crazies dig your cut
In a taxonomic phylum it's Acoelomorpha, lacking gut
Please tell me that those actions weren't the best you could procure
If this battle were 'bout fashions you'd be simply 'naute couture'
'Messiahs what you prattle, added emphasis on 'mess'
If you actually won this battle I would prob'ly convalesce
I must confess you are correct in saying this ain't fair
Cokes must have simply mixed you up with spam that's half-aware
Rusty's pres'dent of Nigeria and I've exiled him en masse
I'll serve you like a cafeteria with mystery meat: your ass
Alas! You're second billing, the Fitch to my Abercrombie
This is a mercy killing because Rusty, YOU'RE the zombie.
Rusty
are ya sayin' my ass gets more men than i admitted gay man
who cares about clothes companies when you are lando to my han
solo is how i roll, i'm no joke entry like a certain someone named dan
okay he's too good for you time to switch to the backup plan to the backup plan
this one will be sure to work since it shall attack with a great white shark
schooling you like the good ol' days just like it's the playground park
it's time for bed ellis get under the covers since i strike when it's dark
rhymez so tight it light ups the stadium with the ultimate lyrical spark
just call me electro boy since you can guess my superpower
hope you asleep boy you might miss power hour
actually just watch me since i'm just as good as jack bauer
i may just be a zombie since you just got devoured
Battle 2: Colonel Alloy vs Curt[]
~The Score~
Colonel Alloy: DRAW by forfeit
Curt: DRAW by forfeit
Battle 3: Aeon vs JC[]
~The Score~
Aeon: Forfeits
JC: Wins by forfeit
~The Raps~
Aeon
No fucking with A.A., no ducking plans I'm plotting
Justin Crossing's in want of flossing,
his skills vanish as his tooth's rotting
inch by inch. Victory's a sinch, it's no bold claim,
this cold brain I'm facing thinks up raps akin to mold stains.
No survival up against my might, a cool wind's racing;
A crap rival in my final fight's a comfort that's bracing.
I'm casing his past work, no signs of ability
Any affray fairly fought is futility;
This villain's quick to dispatch, mark the fall of J_C
A thrillin' handicap match won with a solitary 'e'
JC
Now that I've arrived the situation's pandemonium
Get distracted, turn back, and by now JC's took the podium
Don't expect a pushover, you won't just go owning him
You can't defy the fly, into the future I scry
I foresee defeat, you're going to dwindle, don't deny
It's as they they always cry, Live and Let Die
Too bad for my opponent, he's not quite a proponent
His word's as brittle as glass, there's no commitment
He can't follow through, there's just no way to counter
The future will be seen to, flattening Aeon to a flounder
He will realize the error, beginning this confrontation
Lost as a child in New York deep in Broadway Station
Battle 4: Menji vs jdizzy[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Menji
Lights out in this house ‘cause my rhymes hit switches
Make ya’ quick to scream like those freaky adult *****es
Came unprepared and that’s what’s makin’ ya’ scared
Take my arm ‘cause with no contact you be vision impaired
Disability made ya’ lifeless, pathetic, and unenergetic
Turn your dead body into one big aesthetic prosthetic
Sell ya’ to Old Navy ‘cause they deal with those freaks
Put you up on display advertisin’ the best sale in weeks
You made the customers double, shocked me like a pop quiz
‘cept you aren’t makin’ them come – storefront sign says:
“Watch Menji deliver an ass-whoopin’ to jdizzy for nine-fifty
And get a pair of jeans half-off, ‘cause we know ya’ thrifty!”
jdizzy
Your verse lacks inspiration. it knocked me out my groove.
not worth my time to battle someone terrible as you
you bout as challenging. as stepping on an ant.
or beating up a toddler im afraid that i just cant
stoop to your level Im above you like the top floor
Your lines pick up pennys n****** they just that poor
a bore, I snore wake up and wipe the drool away
then demand a refund, matter fact YOU should pay
so imma make ya, strip you naked, throw you on the streets
Anita baker, like her song, you belong to me
you overstepped your boundrys, so imma make you see
the folly of pussy n****** thinkin they could step to me
Menji
My inspiration inspires the system, I’m used by every lecturer
I’ve got the rhythm, give ya’ my new groove if ya’ call me Emperor
I’m guessin’ you a pacifist if it’s challengin’ to step on an ant
you did say you can’t – pay me back but don’t levant
‘Cause those pennies I picked up were sufficient to ya’ worth
My rap was unearthed, people gather ‘round like the virgin birth
You’re like a fire, people gather until the smoke blows in their face
‘Cause your words are like mace – I’m capitalizin’ on your lower case
Like an editor to a shitty writer – I have to fix your mistakes
After 24 lines of editing my hands will have many aches
But hey, you’ve kept up with me, classify that a miracle
‘Cept I’ll expose your folly – I am lyrically satirical
jdizzy
They say, the anticipation is better the the act
verses known to cause organisms so I cant agree to that
rich off the silence its golden as they wait for my arrival
Hanging off the edge of there seats like a baptist at revival
at this recital, im keynote, without me you would be nothing
well without targets i cant shoot So I guess you good for something
your lyrics are translucent, Incorporeal and short in stature
what i spit evokes emotion, ****** feel me like can--cer
Im a dan-cer, you just a *****
last name aint Armstrong so no way you dodging this
Write a will and speak your last words cause the ends in sight
the answer to your questions yes your executions tonight.
Battle 5: Alec vs BBall[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Alec
AlecTrev destroys with poise in ways the crowd enjoys
Redefining elite like I'm Dub-E-B Du Bois
BBall's background noise, makin' the Pope pro-choice
Now unlike the Church I'll seperate the men from the boys
Think you can face me? Did your head get knocked?
Like John Bobbit you're running round half cocked
Barely clocked in and already you're shell shocked
Getting mocked and rocked by the lines I concoct
I swagger, you just stagger vs my lyrical daggers
I'd steal your girlfriend but she's at best a double bagger
All life long I've come out strong, you think you can tag along?
Then like a weeabo's wet dream, you're totally fucking Rong
BBall
You think you're on my level I should note that it seems to me,
That you forgot you would have lost if Curt didn't vote strategically,
You better enact caution, I'm the rap Sergeant,
I stay strapped, I attack and stab often,
I'm past arson, I'm on to revenge courses,
One major assault and you'll fall like French forces,
I bench corpses of rappers I battled before this,
My skills are worth fortunes, yours get no love like you spit orphans.
So now it's time to frag ya, cuz we both know that I'm better,
Fuck your swagger and your dagger cuz I brought a Beretta.
I'm rightfully conceited, this game I've mastered it,
We're both undefeated, but mine's without asterisks.
Alec
Call me Sam Adams, I'm a damn good decision
I'm a cut above like your botched circumcision
Prepare for a collision with my vibrant vision
I'll make incisions of derision with perfect precision
Your rap was an absurd turd, crowd heard every third word
Guess your momma likes her babies shaken not stirred, nerd
I already slaughtered you, your IQ so low we water you
If you were a father I'd have pro'ly nailed your daughter too
You're just second best, the rapping Buffalo Bills
Emcee George Foreman, I'll get up in your grill
Get chills I'm so ill, while you got less thrills than Dr Phil
And now you're shitting the bed like you mixed exlax and sleeping pills
BBall
I thought you were great but that verse can't be forgiven,
Your skills are a bigger con than every fucking religion,
So fuck this world that you live in, where people are given
Credit for verses that surface in prison... as toilet paper for women.
Why are you wasting my time we could both do without,
That was your worst flowing verse like a brook in a drought,
Like a book in the South, you're useless like a girl with good looks and no mouth.
You should have stayed quit now you've removed all the doubt,
But I'll call you Sam Adams, because I'll be drinking a man's beer,
Makes sense since at the end I'll be the last one to stand here,
I'll make my demands clear, just give in to your damn fear,
You're like a blind kid who just found out that he can't hear.
Battle 6: Wigs vs Foolmo[]
~The Score~
Wigs: Draw by forfeit
foolmo: Draw by forfeit
Battle 7: Minipooot vs Digi[]
~The Score~
Pooot: Forfeits
Digi: Wins by forfeit
~The Raps~
Pooot
I begin my attack spittin' lyrical smack
You best follow the leader cause I'm leadin' the pack
My words flow faster than speed, gonna smoke you like crack
I burn you like high quality weed, till you blacker than black
Watchin' you on the ground while you bleed, cause you wacker than wack
Poot's ready to feed- heh, you the perfect snack
Like a bull into a crowd I came here to gore
Gonna put you in a coma, stomp you to the floor
Score one for the Poot, and none for the whore
I've declared war, cause Digi Digi Digi (what) can't you see
Uh Sometimes your words just disappoint me
Poot spewin' attacks like a real MC, go home son cause you straight to DVD
Digi
Yo disses are made up, like applyin’ eyeliner, blacken you like a prize fighter
Firefighter - puttin’ out your burns quick, stop, drop and roll on you with a drum-stick in pub-lic
I’m rus-tic, call me sputnik, out of this world, upon re-entry I’m a missile like Sidewinder
Piledriver - from New York to New Brunswick, pitchin’ a blinder, my raps deserve an uptick
That’s right, an uptick, my raps is subject to inflation
Supply and demand, you can’t supply, I demand a donation
I charge by the word, by the line, by the rap and by appearance
You charge for bjs, hjs and your services are on clearance
And for every billable syllable I find you more and more killable
Awestruck and outstruck, I see now that your blood is spillable.
So go ahead Poot and those tight handys'll take ya far
Probably a shame that I've seen tighter rappers on a candy bar
Pooot
Battle 8: Tombolo vs Realo[]
~The Score~
Tombolo: Wins by DQ
Realo: DQ
~The Raps~
Tom
I'm up against Realo, and he's sure the real 0
My victory here can't quite be called a steal, oh
You don't even know how hard I can go
Gonna knock you down so low, 'cuz it's time for my solo.
I'm bringing aplomb, attacks with acclaim
You're just gonna bomb, like a Balalaika claim
Your five minutes of fame will make a nice frame
For building my name, while I render you lame
Couldn't hack it with Lockes, now you're gonna get cut
My UCA career rocks, but War is kicking your butt
You're just a weak manslut, forever stuck in a rut
And once I'm done with you, your last door will be shut.
Battle 9: sbp vs PatsD[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
sbp
i'll wax you like a car wash, scrub, you're destined for the scraps pile
think you're immovable but i'll just flip you like a klax tile
while you trip over your lines we can smell your fear, you're running scared
no dice on trying for surprise, like jeremy irons i'll be prepared
you think yourself mufasa but like sagat i'm the angry scar
my f-a-d-c ultra two will blow you up like sinistar
like tetris two there's bombs in it, cacophonous commotion
your rhythm is just depressing so i'll blast you back, a blues explosion
stuff a cellphone down your throat and make the call to wring your neck
i'll rip your guts out, have a look, and bill you for the belichick
so flee for safety, patriot, go running back to take a knee
you've la-le-lu-li-no shot at my philosopher's legacy
PatsD
I was gonna take it easy on you then you dissed my namesake
Forget 'bout sharin' Cheez-its, mon, you got me pissed in eight ways
You call yourself a legacy, forget that I'm a Dynasty?
Your reign had ended long ago, today I'm at my finest peak.
I'll piss a verse magnificent, you just crapped out a stinkbomb
You wish you were this mischievous, you can't teepee a wigwam
You call yourself the baddest cat, but pussy you ain't my brother.
Can't wait to see the kids you have, you fuck your nephew's mother
I threw it back to you real fast like Digi did to topple ya
Watch out, hyenas at your back, they're itchin' bad to gobble ya
You top the power rankings, but you're on a losing streak
I'll be banking on this spanking to be cruisin' to three-peat.
sbp
of course you're talking cheez-its, you're the biggest cracker on the board
acting all salty, flaking out, you're on the f-ritz heading toward
bankruptcy when my premium plus taxes kills your cash reserves
you'll try to play our heartstrings but you only get on people's nerves
can't even garner votes out of charity, folks'll pass on through
nobody wants t-risc-uit if it means they might be seen with you
you're flopping like a goldfish, your face flush with recognition
that you're out of your depth against the league-leading rhetorician
here's a ticket for the show of hands so you can finally see applause
your dynasty was sadder than those freaky inbred habsburg jaws
and history will only laugh when your case is presented
because failed campaigns like yours are why the footnote was invented
PatsD
You call me the biggest cracker, then you rattle off Nabisco
Seems like yer whiteness tracker had a little of a miss, no?
Don't worry, once you crumb-le I'll just sweep you away
I ain't that blind or fuckin' humble, launch my feet to yer head.
I'll fuckin' punch yo teeth out, you better go and get the gauze
Don't even try to speak out, you're flowin' worse than menopause
I'm high with the times, call me a billy-in-air.
Or do it cuz I'm valued at a million heirs
My rhymes are well-done man, yours aren't even medium rare
The name's Johnny Rappleseed cuz I re-ceded yer hair
With my lines, now it's time, for the voters to decide
Which was better, yer White Cheddar, or my homicide.
Battle 10: AID vs Extha[]
~The Score~
AID: Wins by forfeit
Extha: Forfeits
~The Raps~
AID
why does the title say me versus extha? you might want a lesson but this can't be a battle
if you wanna be trained buy a bra, I don't offer sessions in the profession of prattle
I’m a terminator, not an educator, can’t teach this fool to spell nomenclature
much less to use words to endure my furious flurries of lyrical forces of nature
'cause I spit typhoons into monsoons and rise the world’s tides like twin moons
coolin' pools of molten ooze to brew volcanic flues while you drool into spoons
forget fingers like prunes, I leave bone-deep tattoos in black and blue hues
they spoil future news that a flash-forward-flood chugs your pitiful dews
ask a sleuth - the bruises I drew are clues that you lose, soothsayin’ previews of truth
for the newborn babe with less tooth, from the new Babe with less ruth.
that's no lion - my keyboard just roared, now let's hear your mouse squeak
better cheat and repeat me, the only lines I can't beat are mine from last week.
Battle 11: RTB vs Stan[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
RTB
I can tell that you can’t rhyme, this match’ll be a landslide,
Give you some lyrical jail time based on your failed lines
When I teach the ways of rap I unleash the rage I have
I’m a beast untamed who attacks and speaks and slays you hacks
Who seek to claim wins with crap so meek it fades to black
While I breach and maim and scrap your weak and fake fool raps.
Stan, check my ability, there’s no civility to my hostility
My capabilities seem like an impossibility. Such endless volatility
When I pen this, you can’t mend this damage from my lines Stan
Watch as my disses dismiss, it’s remiss of your flow to be so dry man.
It's a spectacle, your best lines I’m dwarfin’ because yours fester with boredom,
you're as detestable as a third trimester abortion or molester of orphans.
Stan
A long song played in a throng
Guess I just proved you wrong.
Ya say you’re a teacher but you’re preaching to the choir
Speaking Greek - need a cipher - nothin’ but a rhymer
For your boasting - I wasn’t scared in the least
I’m Kraven the Hunter to your “untamed” beast.
Yeah - that’s me making your heart throb
Cause I’m swan diving like it’s my job.
As I pen this, I can’t help think how weak that attack was
Because I saw and really did dismiss it - like a fly’s buzz
Get me a coat hanger cause I’m hanging RTB to dry
Or maybe take a trip to the back alley and make ‘im cry.
RTB
Your poetic technique is pathetically meek and aesthetically bleak
You’re as frenetic and weak as an obese diabetic that can’t eat
So cease the fight and at least I might decrease the spite
With which I write to win outright and leave you deceased tonight.
I’ll be the judge at this trial in which Stan’s style is reviled
There’s no denial you suck when no wins are compiled in your rap battle file.
I murder with diction of unheard-of-conviction like a muted court sentence
My words have inflicted an absurd affliction and there’ll be no repentance.
They’re approving me as the winner, and it’d be insane if they said you aptly fought
I’m proving you’re just a beginner, you’re an inane runner-up: just an afterthought.
This lyrical display proves my rhymes are gold, yours are tired old shit, son.
A miracle array of lines to spoil your ancient old ass: call me the end of disk one
Stan
Tumbling over and over in a wordy gyre
Your situation has suddenly turned dire
Aspired and desired to be a rap battler
Mired by what transpired now you shatter.
Mock my record all you want
But you’ve got nothing to flaunt
For you the playoffs are barely in reach
Now don’t that just sting like a beach?
I’m accused of being an ancient beginner - are ya confused?
Did you mean to bruise or abuse me - cause I’m just amused.
This thread’s over no matter how much ya pled or said
Cause the final message is clear: disk could not be read
Battle 12: Mer vs WC[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Mer
I got fightin' words to substitute two fists,
Your rhymes bitin' turds, I leave a bitch toothless,
I'm ruthless, leave you paralyzed and useless,
Your chance at winning disappear like Doopliss,
You know, Dub-C tries, he can' be me though,
His rhymes just waste my time like TVTropes,
You're wanted less than a Brokencyde CD, bro
Tell him like John Cena, CAN YOU SEE ME? No.
I bring the thunder, Rap God, you can call me Odin
And man, I ain't even gotta try to own it,
Here's my verse, almost fell asleep as I wrote it,
Someone wake me up when I have a real opponent.
WC
The real challenge of this rap is avoiding the modhammer
If I use the disses I’m thinking I’ll be in the gamefaqs slammer
Your rap was delayed cause you were at the monster ball
Yall proud of being freaks, and you made the right call
You think you’ve already got this match wrapped up
But your rap is like the script of two girls one cup
I honestly have no clue how you won twice
I’m about to put you already slim playoff hopes on ice
I could tell you were falling asleep as you wore that shit
You don’t deserve a single vote, you are fucking unfit
This match shouldn’t have been extended for you
Cokes should have stepped in and given you a DQ
Mer
You're pathetic trying to pass that shit off as a rap,
Once I read it, had no doubt this thing was a wrap,
I get claps while your rhymes get smeared like a pap,
You're a 3 to 4, like when I might take a nap,
I'm a straight 10, don't mention the irony,
I'm essential like Iron and Vitamin E,
You ain't Vitamin C, no Graduation,
From the Battle High School where we're magic makin',
You're the unwanted guest, like menstruation,
They hear my shit and Crank it like Jason Statham,
You know the voters'll be typing out my name, right?
I pack more lines than Kate Moss's Friday night.
WC
You tried to compare yourself to important vitamins
Judging by that crap I think that you’re just on heroin
All you got there is lame pop culture references
Here’s where I would put a joke about your sexual preferences
This battles is a soccer match and I keep scoring goals
Running all over you hurts, I need Doctor Sholl’s
You ask me to get at you but I’ve already gotten
At the end of tha league, your raps will quickly be forgotten
I could stop right now and leave the next 3 lines blank
The voters can surely tell your raps must be a prank
No human being could write verses that damn poor
Leave at the door your false illusions of grandeur
Battle 13: Boko vs Chrono[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Boko
take it away bokes, it's time to run the show
flow that i can bestow - a lyrical k.o.
can't escape your b.o., cos you got majin on the mind
possess the likes of you, confined and now you're blind
inclined to but i'm kind, won't destroy you quite yet
teach you a thing or two, general to your cadet
like a bull i'm dead-set, ain't nothing slowing me down
you were caught red handed, scum tryin'ta lynch town
in my puddles you will drown, my skill's above your level
defeat i'll likely revel, send you down to the devil
while i sit atop my throne:
now alone, you ain't nothin' but a dirty tombstone
Chrono
Story time, gather round, Tell you what's going down
Stop, now what is that sound? The screams from a masked town.
I'm like the Nemesis, out for your heart, sending you a valentine.
Was over at genesis, you fell apart, at the very start of time.
A moment of quiet on top of a hill.
Then Fluttering from above breaking your will.
An omen of death, blood colored butterfly.
Your very last breath, three points before you die.
Dreamers keep on thinking there's a chance in hell.
Gotta stop believing, cause you know damn well.
No Antidote, no cure, get that in your head.
Monsters make real sure, you'll be left for dead.
Boko
take THAT away bokes, that story made me dry
heaves you like a horse, diseased and you're awry
teased you like you're fry, not quite the sharpest in the box
rampin' with a chrome mox, you always imprint ****s.
board eight flocks to my decree - presence makes you flee
but i outrun, racin' you like my girl's trixie
i'm not outgunned, snipin' you like i am MC.
you're gonna need a genie - wish that you were me
and so you see where i'm at, square me and you get e
energy, nearly free, of the dyne variety
heavenly, above you as if i were a god
while you're stuck down in hell giving high fives to the todd.
Chrono
You act like a king, but you're nothing but a bad joker.
The cards always brings a girl who screams for me to "fuck her"
Bet your followers would stick by you to the end.
But your castle crumbles brick by brick, Armageddon.
Law of the land, it's rebellion, against the power.
The master plan, sense of treason, your last hour.
Wizards can incant a spell but at my sound they stop.
Warriors can raise some hell, but at my words they drop.
Out of fear shut your doors, kingdom ready to fall.
Not a spear, not a sword, Chrono's rhymes wreck all.
You lost your bet, your castle, and soon your life
Now I'm all set, no hassle, to put you on ice.
Battle 14: DC vs Seg[]
~The Score~
DC: 12
Seg: 0
~The Raps~
DC
Battlin' me and wanna win? Pray to the powerful mod in the skies.
Packed with so much punch you'd think you met a four armed God in disguise.
My metaphoric lines will shine and dry out your soggy and lame attempts to -
Unseat me from the throne I own - Seginus, it's time to end you.
My dominance is obvious, you're novelist when droppin' scripts.
What I jot and pen on monoliths'll leave you positive that God exists.
Pompous? shit, that's modest, kid - my accomplishments astonish men.
Gynecologist's comment when this Segibitch is loggin' in.
My consciousness revolves and spins - constantly on consonants.
Monstrous with a polished spit - I'm BBall, Giggs and sonic mixed.
Enthrallin' the populace while demolishin' your rotten writs.
Expose your sloppiness when squabblin', there's no way that you're toppin' this.
Seg
I'm in for rammin my rhymen through dc's rappin hymen
I clock in, my glock on his deadline, alarm chimin
I'm a timesplitter and I spit bitter vitriol, bitch get real
he feel the itch as the fans drop in and hit the shit he spiel
on this deal the devil got gypped, I throw in the sack and spit-seal the crypt
leave a dilated ghost-ridin backseat in a black whip
a deceased flagship dumped on the great river thames
"dc's a hell of a chump" mused the late ricky james
chemist's spirit sickly maimed and screamin for momma
witch doc's autopsy reads "lyrical blunt force trauma"
cops at the scene with a mother in tears, I'll have her
gonna peen her in the rear over dc's cold, dead cadaver
Battle 15: Me Pie Three vs Cokes[]
~The Score~
Me Pie Three: 0
Cokes: 4
~The Raps~
Me Pie Three
Not a huge coffee guy, my dogs drink cokes in da morning,
But today they get none, cuz this can's freezin' up and explodin'.
Ya shits so low quality, rather do that ice than a coke,
The drug methodology makes ya stuff seem less of a joke.
But ya pokin the alpha with a twig cuz you know that I'm in beast mode.
Woke me, now it's eat mode, suck ya brains out tween my teeth, cold,
But my packs got a thirst, so I sick em on ya like Zerg rush.
Gut ya, divin in rough, so quick they blurred, MUSH!
CRUSH! STORM! SWARM! Haha, ya flow needs form bro, I'd like ya cubed,
On thin ice, cokes, and you'll be drowning reliving this stuff, looped.
Try to climb up and I'll just go in hypermode,
MP3s got tons of phazon, now ya blaze on, cuz I got ya by the lymph node
Cokes
That rap was so bad I nearly had a mental breakdown
I've never read rhymes so nonsensic'lly opaque, wow
Like Michael J Fox, you're about to feel a shakedown
Splash some water on your face, make sure you're awake, clown:
You're fucking horrible, you shouldn't have been a replacement
You rhyme like you've spent your life locked in someone's basement
Your command of the language rivals that of the cavemen
You're so stupid, people stare at you in amazement
You prob'ly wake in the morning and wonder where outer space went
Truth is, it ain't half as much as the space between your ears
If you could comprehend this, you'd already be in tears
But fortunately for your ego, your brain is in arrears
Me Pie Three
Simple's only good if I can take a good nap
Now that I'm well rested though I'm spittin hood raps
All I see are excuses, like why ya dick's three inches
Can't screw *****es because they see the bust in yee britches
Misses be laying me with kisses but this kinda bliss is
Amiss wit you, unliss ya take revatio for ya sistas
Ya verse is matches ya dick though, they bore me
Rehearse, or you'll be kicked out before we
Even finish, but you're used to that, surely
Can't even **** while you're jaying off to furry
Can't even whizz through Sonic, gettin' Es on easy
Can't even fizz, cokes, cuz your flow's all leaky.
Cokes
Something in the way you rhyme revolts me like no other rapper
Without a doubt I'm about to put your lights out like the Clapper
You wanted a good rest, now I'm making you a dirt napper
You don't seem to understand how to speak coherently
Can't read your verses unless I got a lotta beer in me
Deforestation, cuttin' down MCs like I'm clearin' trees
I've taken down Cali redwoods, but you ain't even a pine
The people opine that your lines can't even come close to mine
So naturally gifted, I don't need twelve, I can beat you in nine
Battle 16: Giggs vs Swordsman[]
~The Score~
Giggs: 5
Swordsman: 3
~The Raps~
Giggs
I'll end this shit in record time, spit my words and then flee the scene
Swordsman found dead by the second line like a murder in New Orleans
Giggs come so hard Americans just don't get it, like dark aeons
With a rush of adrenaline, turnin' poets to kids with crayons
'Cos this flow **** is like hardened cement, you just can't kick it
Settin' in motion unfortunate events, bitch, call me Lemony Snicket
I cause schisms like VFD, seduce your friends and your girl
Giggs the cataclysmic MC - I'll induce the end of your world
You're so skill-less it's outrageous, man, your plight is hopeless
Best hope my illness is contagious, spreadin' pandemics of dopeness
Swordsman shunned like a pariah: half-steppers fester, slain and shot
And in the ground you'll expire, 'cos rap lepers never change their spots
swordsman
Hit like Smirnoff and limes, leave ya buzzin’ like hive mind
Suckin queers off for dime’s the only time you earn a head-line
Your cement flow is too slow, I’m Sonic in an enzo
It’s like you’re Em on benzos, too fucked to attend shows.
Presidential, JFK flow cause my fire’s everlasting
Don’t try to say you’re Oswald cause I know your ass aint blasting
So light it up, I did inhale to put it bluntly
The people love me, I’m a savior to the country
Even conspiracy theorists say it’s crazy you’re above me.
This is a massacre, ending faster than the Bay of Pigs disaster did
Lyrical rapture, call the pastor cause ya cold and stiff as plaster wigs
No miracles for bastard kids, this missile crisis is the end of Giggs. (nuclear launch detected)
Giggs
Yo Giggs be racin' through your ghetto, negro, causin' rap shenanigans
Displacin' you like Leno, ego bigger than Zapp Brannigan's
Such a turnoff yet you're moistened, what I spit addicts like sex
But swordsman's Smirnoff rap is poisoned like this shit's predictive text
'Cos man those rhymes were more top-heavy than that wench from Seventh Heaven
Swordsman 12 left on the bench, you couldn't make the first XI
This match is a sham, even in your head you can't outrap me, yo
Just catch me if you can like I'm gingerbread or Di Caprio
Submit to the rap zeitgeist; Giggs' words always carry gravitas
This ****'s like tryin' to fight Christ, absurd even for your backwards ass
Play-offs ain't wired in your journal so you'd best howl farewell
'Cos Giggs ensured your fire will burn eternal from the bowels of hell
swordsman
If I’m in rappin hell then you’re still trapped in purgatory
Seven layers deep enactin’ violence on MCs before me.
More fire than a crematory, I spit demonic sonnets
Rip chronic then I rock shit while you cough hits, you aint ill bitch— that’s pneumonic
Blend rappers into dog bits, hear the 9s click? Verbal bullets leave your mind split
but both sides advise “quit!” cause Sword has got that sharp wit.
Punches slaughter like Gitmo water, kill you on the board
Award you with my notes and still couldn’t hit a chord.
My malevolent rhymes are refined by intelligent design
while your irrelevant lines say less than a mime.
Clear as black and white, Giggs lacked the might to stop my track to playoff lights
Crushing mics in this unfair fight, you other rappers better check ya sights!