Board 8 Wiki

The Sweet Sixteen finalists of Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE Tournament.

~Round 1~[]

Battle 49: (16) Menji76 v. (1) sonicblastpunch[]

~The Score~

Menji76: 0
sonicblastpunch: 12

~The Raps~

SBP is the first, to burst, against my rhyme bubble, he's in trouble
Might as well make it double, cause I see farther than NASA's Hubble

Your skill to rhyme is nothing but finesse, you own a rap business
However I possess the key to my success - a battle for that top desk
We'll have a campaign, and my rhymes will put you to shame
I've heard I'm more addicting than cocaine, that explains my fame
Because the polls are in, they just elected me Mayor
I'll control your rap business with no laissez faire

That rap was just a rental, in other words my instrumental
No, that wasn't accidental, you were only my experimental

And I was a tad under seeded but still, you should have conceded
A pill for your embarrassment, take only as needed

well, it's painfully obvious now why no one claims you're wry or clever
sir chris tied with you and was so ashamed that he had to leave forever
you rhyme as badly as you look and smell -- not to put it directly
but yer name must be 'menji' because you spelled 'mangy' incorrectly
and when fleas started hoppin down yer arms, i gave off a couple chuckles
yer lines drag so badly that fleas would rather listen to yer draggin knuckles
you tried to liken and compare yerself to the nasa hubble and cocaine
on the grounds that you're out of focus and detrimental to the human brain
but may i suggest that you should be an antidepressant stocked on shelves
because exposure to you makes people feel much better about themselves
you're unpleasant to all five senses, but you can always take some pride
in knowin that you're a great example of why the seedings are justified

Looks like someone needs help from an educated other
You spit rhymes with worse grammar than my first grade brother
I'm at the top of my classes - and my visions fine, I got glasses!
See you start a sentence using upper case - It may not be my place
But you're as clueless here as you were trying to move to second base

This ain't your type of game, It's gotta be a condition
You're like a car on automatic, you've got no transmission
There are places that accept all takers even ones like you - gangster rap fakers

You saying I see out of focus, then how come I can still touch you?
You're uneducated, and say I smell? Start here, read the back of the Shampoo
It's easy; lather, rinse, repeat! Can you smell that, the bitter smell of defeat?
Give it up, you couldn't make it as a sperm donor, admit it that rap gave you the boner

yer first rap bit the big one, but we'd all hoped in yer second shot
that you might turn yerself around and maybe give this one some thought
here i thought you might try to improve and spark some menji love
but then you bit a second time like benji with a genji glove
i'm guessin you don't read well, but this guess is a no-brainer
the proverb goes 'write what you know' so you wrote a shampoo container
good job reaffirmin yerself as the tourney's cannon fodder
you had water on the brain and now you're braindead in the water
and i won't need capital letters to keep you in yer place
you're so far beneath me that i have to use the lower case
so hit the showers, shampoo boy, and scrub until you feel fatigue
cause once the votes are counted you aren't even in my league

Battle 50: (9) Furious J v. (8) Princess Anri[]

~The Score~

Furious J: 2
Princess Anri: 6

~The Raps~

Furious J
Its about a man named "Princess" and don't worry it gets better.
As he comes and tries to front on the most verbose of orators.
His tale of epic failiure will only gain infamy with age.
Of when Furious unleashed on him a verbal Genophage.
He came in with confidence, and the will to succeed
Yet was nowhere near the skill level that he would need.
Meek attempts to resist suddenly resembled parody.
Weakly fumbling with his words, trying to obtain parity.
But inevitably falling before the J's rhythmic rarity.
So take this lesson to heart and listen with sincerity.
Princess Anri is in all of us, he represents inadequacy.
And reminds us that no one can touch J's lyrical supremacy.

Princess Anri
I rhyme with escaping sanity. My flow is shaping humanity.
The way you rhyme, sounds like you're raping a manatee.
You think you're like Will Smith: "I don't need to use profanity."
That ****'s just a myth. You're ****ing yourself with your vanity.
They call you "Furious J." So where was all the Ferocity?
More like "Bi-curious A" cause that **** was an Atrocity.
I think you must be seriously ***. Way past bi-curiosity.
My rhymes are injurious--they, kick your ass with velocity.
Yeah, I lost against DeeCee. My first and last defeat.
No one else will beat me. Ya'll can even try to cheat.
But I think it would be fitting if the rest of you retreat.
Cuz the **** you're spittin' looks like the **** I excrete.

Furious J
Wow, that rap was more homophobic than a John Cena promo
It was kinda like watching Huckabee debate in slo-mo
Seemed like a touchy subject, the whole "being gay" thing
Maybe you're "claustrophobic" if you know what I mean

So you say I'm like Will Smith, a fresh prince from the west
Well at least that makes me male royalty...Princess
So you say I rape manatees, I'll believe what I'm told
Cuz my rhymes are bustin' hymens all over the globe

Your flow escapes sanity, right into a straight jacket
Cuz you'd have to be crazy, to spit that pitiful racket
The line between you and suck is becoming ever more blurry
You want ferocity, but you don't deserve to burn by my fury

Princess Anri
Looks like Cokes don't want me to "Give a Demonstration."
Instead he's over there giving you verbal masturbation.
Bustin' hymens across the globe ain't a feat if it's rape.
If you gave the girls a chance, every one would escape.
You think I'm "claustrophobic"? You want a fist in the mouth?
Check the sig, FJ. Casey Jones will knock you out.
I'm not a homophobe. I can handle *** sexuality.
But why the **** would you be proud of bestiality?
There's two more for ya, Cokes. You gonna ***** about those?
Now I'm done with the *** jokes but, Furious, everybody knows.
I'm sorry FuryJ. But this is the end of your quest.
You can't slam with the best so jam with the rest.

Battle 51: (12) Mega Mana v. (5) BBallman7[]

~The Score~

Mega Mana: 0
BBallman7: 5

~The Raps~

Mega Mana
You don't gotta tag, Cokes, cuz this is over and done
I'd forfeit now but that wouldn't be any fun
For all you folks you support these rap battles
That read all the posts of lameass prattles
Made by users without a rappin bone in thier body
Like BBall here whose lyrics are slipshoddy
With rhymes so dry he be spittin up sand
Finest choking grains from all of Saharan land
And beats that bounce too fast too often
I'm surprised he ain't still in a coffin
In that faux rapper's grave he dug for hisself
...Like me because all I can rhyme is the Keebler Elf

Don't you see, battlin' me, was your biggest mistake,
Forfeits are free, now I will be, attending your wake,
Way past the trees, over the seas, your body burns at the stake,
All you have is disease, but your rap gives off zzzzzzzzzzzzzzs, because we all know you're fake.
A rapping bone, which I do not own, maybe you got me,
But as I sit on my throne, let it be known, I could break every bone in your body,
So while you're alone, your fear has grown, and you know you can't stop me,
Better not sleep at home, after what I have shown, you might need some coffee.
You bring up a coffin, I'll live to see you in a hearse ,
I'll make it to 60, you won't make it through my next verse.
You talk about flow, but you maybe you should learn too,
You bring up the Sahara, but I just burned you.

Mega Mana
Um, I don't drink coffee because I don't like the smell
And your fire's colder than an iced over hell
And something something something with a catchy little rhyme
I really don't want to keep wasting all your time
I tried Connect Four and that didn't work
I shut myself down to look like a jerk
I even praised the guy I had to be throwing down
And here I still am playing the clown
I can't understand why no one's shut me out yet
How am I still in this? When's this bout end?
Yeah, that didn't rhyme, I don't really care
BBall, put me down or something until I'm out of your hair, I hope

Is that a ****ing joke, you're just giving up,
You want to get shut out, I don't give a ****.
I'm gonna finish this quick, because both of yours suck,
So if this takes a minute, I should win by enough.
Something something something, stuff stuff stuff,
Since this is rushed, with a little luck,
You'll get a vote, or two if you want.
I don't know why I'm still going with this, I already won,
I'm done wasting time, **** this I'm done.

Battle 52: (13) ExThaNemesis v. (4) Ed Bellis[]

~The Score~

ExThaNemesis: 11
Ed Bellis: 7

~The Raps~

You’d think I’d be nervous, but I ain’t even phasing. Bellis’s like SBP, imitating Amazing.
While glasses start raising coz people start praising the trails I be blazing with constant hell raising.
Your eyes start-a glazing as you’re-a gazing because you startin’ to realize all the dangers you’re facing.
A cynical maniacal vision of Satan, whose raps are clinical **** that Christian’s be hating.
And there ain’t no debating as your **** I’m deflating, fans waiting to give my raps a higher rating.
You and I, there is no equating’. I’m lyrical velvet and you annoy like call waiting.
Allow me to further annotate this berating. It’s like copper alloy against Armor Plating.
Have you had enough yet? Of my metaphorical stating… relating my strengths to your faults, must be grating
On your nerves as with words around you I’m skating, baiting an attack for which I’m ready and waiting.

So Bring it on King Bellis, let’s see you do your worst. I’ll parry and dodge every single verse.
I’ll reverse what you’ve rehearsed, and into the perverse I’ll will immerse you into what I plan to do with you.
When I get through aspergers won’t be the only thing that’s wrong with you.

Ed Bellis
Sound the gospels, sing the choirs, for King Bellis has arrived
Here to preach the word of flow and funk and rhythm, soul, and jive
My opponent thinks he’s funny, thinks he’s clever, thinks he’s wise
Time to rocket-launch this Nemesis and cut him down to size
You produced so many syllables I can’t believe you breathed
Though your disses were so juvenile I wonder if you teethed
You may fancy yourself Elvis but you’re naught but a Priscilla
You may call yourself a Satan – fine, I’ll be your Saint of Killers
There won’t be enough left of your rhymes to fill a po-lice blotter
Gonna spoil all ya merits like ya spoiled Harry Potter
You can try your best and do your worst, you’re just the next John Doe
To fall victim to my version of the rappin’ RKO.

You’re User of the Year, well I’m User of Forever. Out on an endeavor to take on whoever, whenever, wherever… “whatever.”
And that’s the Squall response you usin’ when I beat you, defeat you, suck you up like Kirby and eat you.
And If this was Melee then homie you’d be Pichu, and I’m about to use my Down B and Shiek you.
I take your best shots and send em’ back at your abdominal. Cats call me AJ, baby coz I’m Phenomenal.
Your odds of winning this **** are astronomical, everybody’s laughin’ at your **** because you’re comical.
And I don’t even mean like some form of PC Superman. You more like a *** version of Disney’s Peter Pan.
See what you need to see is that this battle’s over, man. My own finisher won’t work against me when I’m sober, man.
Understand that you just failed to RKO ExThaNemesis, because I’m the greatest thing since Sonic on Sega Genesis.
I kill STARS all day, that’s why we’re at the end of this, You’re Brad Vickers, and my hand just ripped your head to bits.
So bow down and submit to this rap supremacist, this sadistic lyricist, whose bout to make you not exist.
Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, my spoiling’s not done. Because homie, SPOILERS:

ExTha kills Bellis in ROUND ONE.

Ed Bellis
Those rhymes put me to sleep, this ain’t worth gettin’ outta bed
Man I haven’t seen such sucking since your girlfriend gave me head
Then she started on my ass and thought it was your face instead
Told me you’re the one whose horse-mug should be nicknamed Mr. Ed
Guess your Final Smash consists of whining louder without style
Call me Peter Pan, you’re Captain Hook, so meet my crocodile
Get the jaws of life to pry you out of my melodious trial
Cause your life is up, it can’t be saved by even Andrew Weil
Ex the only thing you’ve spoiled is the outcome of this brawl
Boy my raps are like Obama while you barely scratch Ron Paul
Since you’re so dim let me slow it down and bring it to a crawl –
Cause it’s rappin’ Daylight Savings Time – my spring became your fall.

Battle 53: (14) Forceful Dragon v. (3) swordsman 12[]

~The Score~

Forceful Dragon: 6
swordsman 12: 2

~The Raps~

Forceful Dragon
Rap battle has been waging these past weeks and months across the board;
and you need every edge you can get, so we'll make ours a rap of swords.
Do they call you swordsman12, cause you can wield twelve swords at a time
or 'cause it would take twelve of you in your prime, to beat one of me in mine?

I know you're not completely without skill, I've seen you coulé with the best
But I doubt even you were ready for the extent of this, your first true test.
I see that you have footwork in abundance, and swordplay still to spare
Were I a man of lesser skill, your advance would hasten me to prayer.

I've taken note of your previous work and vowed not to take you lightly
But to stand us in comparison is to make me appear the more knightly.
It's been an intense battle so far, I've been both tolerant and candid
But the most important thing of all, Inigo...I am not left-handed.

swordsman 12
Is this my greatest test? If so I’m truly disappointed
Ya can’t hang with the best, ya rap needs to be anointed
Spread on some healing salve cause imma rip that **** apart
Ya treat battlin’ like a hobby whereas I treat it like an art

You say you aren’t left handed…nor am I
My name IS Inigo Montoya...Prepare to die.
Cause you aren’t the man in black, in fact you’re just a count
Now I’m on the attack and this battle I’ll surmount

Ya better call a priest, cuz this devil must be exorcized,
I am such a beast my punch will leave you anesthetized,
You’re no demon slayer, so go and make that prayer
You’re not a mere rookie, but I’m the Most Valuable Player.

Forceful Dragon
You call yourself an artist, but you can barely keep to theme;
from swords to quotes to demons? You're most unworthy my esteem.

I am the Dread Pirate Wesley and you cannot hope to match
the strength and speed of my assault as I easily dispatch
the likes of you, 'cause against me you're visibly out-classed.

I've wrestled with Giants and challenged Sicilians when DEATH was on the line.
Yeah Cliffs of Insanity and mostly-dead days have suited me just fine.
So shorty take heed, leave well enough alone and quit while you're behind.

Our epic battle of design has turned into a rout
I thought that you could cut it, but your rhymes aint got the clout.
Dont lose heart you can try again, take time off to improve.
But for today, step the hell off, you're throwing off my groove.

swordsman 12
Your metaphor was solid but ya rhymes were elementary
Couldn’t bore me more with such a scheme-- so rudimentary
Say you’re pirate Wesley? Well I’ve never heard of him
You’re a mockery of Westley and ya future’s looking grim
This ain’t ya fairy tale thus ya work’s to no avail
My lines’ll blow ya eyes and ears and leave ya readin’ brail

See I’m Forcefully rapin’ ya, Descecratin’ ya
Remorsefully hatin’ ya cuz it hurts me to be facin’ ya
See a man be utterly destroyed by verses, utterin curses
Walk around mutterin n’ stutterin, shocked I reversed his-
-Lines back on him, I’m the Giant but he’s not slain me yet
Instead he’s cryin’ from pain, regret, he’s not a pirate…he’s a Patri-ette

Battle 54: (11) AlecTrevelyan006 v. (6) Cokes311[]

~The Score~

AlecTrevelyan006: 2 (wins in Tie Breaker, 5-3)
Cokes311: 2

~The Raps~

Alec here for my rap, in a snap, so get ready to doff your cap,
Ackbar knows its a trap, take a nap, or rap’s Tiger will golf your clap,
Give your face a slap, beat your crap, wipe you off the map,
All plans you can scrap, useless sap, just go off and fap

Your best rhymes can’t beat Bushisms, put through some rapping prism
Like early Catholicism, your crowd will have a Schism
Your rhymes are spoken matzah, all tasteless and unleavened
While mine are almost music, rapper’s Stairway to Heaven

My raps will blow you away, from computer you should stay,
So drop to your knees and pray, as in place the crowd will sway,
If rhymes were paint I’d be Monet, while like a dog you need a splay
Back off, cuz if you come my way, you’ll disappear like JonBenet

Everybody look out, Alec's travelin' through
Half gentile, half Jew? Is that the best you can do?
You can rhyme like that until your face turns blue
Persistence might snare you a vote, maybe even two
But you wanna know what I'd do, if I were you?
Turn tail and run, 'til you got no soles on ya shoes

You couldn't best Bond, you think you can beat rap's Jack Bauer?
Got exponential rhymes, like ten to the tenth power
At the top of the game, over tall *****s I tower
Pale-skinned, but I'm black at heart; yo ass is whiter than flour
Eaten bigger men for lunch, consider yourself devoured
Cuz you're takin this on the chin like your name's Bill Cowher

Before this match I'd heard, that you were rightly best,
But that rap was flatter than Keira Knightley's chest
You think you're black at heart, and your rap's a killa
But the crowd can see that this Cokes is vanilla
Time to bend you over, your psyche I will mar,
Better hope the condoms are made of good kevlar
Your raps have empty spaces, like teeth in need of braces
While I play rappin' poker, and look I'm holdin' aces
You may blame your failure, on your rap vacation
Is that your explanation, for your hopeless situation?
No, its trepidation, at the revelation,
That like a bastard fetus, you're facing termination

I don't understand why mother****ers think I'm cola
Cocozella's as Italian as Joe Garagiola
Here's some more about me, B8's rap Ayatollah
My flow's so sick, it's infectious like Ebola
Rhymes are so damn hot, man, my ****'s straight solar
Make the game do what I want like a dual shock controller
Up up down down left right left right B A start
You're playin' rap poker, but you don't have the cards
Gamblin' with your life, it's suicidal like the King of Hearts
You think you can win? Ha, check the chip amounts
First ballot Hall of Famer, like the rap Robin Yount
You're done, gimme an Iced Tea, add one to my Body Count

Battle 55: (7) BesaidGuy v. (10) nintendogirl1[]

~The Score~

BesaidGuy: 6
nintendogirl1: 1

~The Raps~

I don’t care if you’re a chick, I’m a heathen and I’m dreamin
To choke you with my semen til your body stops its breathin
You’re chest will be heavin, you’re breath will be ceasin
The sound of you deceasin will be aesthetically pleasin
The thoughts got my heart beatin, and it is for a simple reason
It is appeasin to be seizin the wheezin heart of a cretin
If by now you’re not believin, that I will stab you while you sleepin
Start your menstrual cycle early, for a week you will be bleedin
I’ll slice you even like steven, but there’s no Shai Leboeuf this evenin
Rigamortus hits and you’re freezin, and to your death we’re speedin
I’m gonna miss you pleadin, while my knife was slowly cleavin
But I guess you’ve learned your lesson not to mess with this rappin demon

Pray tell what the hell was that? I ain't rollin' on my back,
This is real combat, so you'd best try another tack,
I ain't no heaven sent toy, I'm the debt collector,
You ain't paid your rent boy, so you're gonna meet Lecter.
You're Agent Starling, face your nightmares while they're snarling,
But fly away darling, I'll just sip my Carling,
Your verse spoken first, and it was all pre-rehearsed,
Now for your blood I have a thirst, and your bubble will burst,
I'm coming with a messerschmidt, keep your Even Steven ****,
All your crossdresser wit, keep believin' you twit,
But don't be sad guy, as from this contest you fly,
Like the Aurochs pre-Ti, dus at least you did try.

Another lame FFX joke, Hardy Har Har, didn't you har har hear?
Those got lame in week 1, along with your entire car-eer
I'm the bad guy, leaving black eyes, and I rep Sony often
But you're the rapping PS3, this is the final nail in your coffin
A tack in combat? For my weapon I have to get the stains out
A little cloth, a little bleach, for when I blow ya brains out
You silly wench, stop rappin, you're just another meat beater
I smack you with a meat cleaver, beat ya body like Rocky in a meat freezer
I kick raps and speak ether, this here is a sneak peaker
Ta find ya body, the fisherman will have to be deep sea-er
So let us end this little fallacy, NONE of you can try and battle me
Cuz I just ripped this chicks spine out like a Sub Zero fatality

Blindness, your lines are inducin', is this all that you're producin'?
I'm reading it, I feel the sap, my IQ starts reducin',
Sub-Zero is your name? I rise a Phoenix from the flame,
I'm always right and I avert the blame,
Contradictions keep showin, but somehow you keep on goin',
It looks like you got panicked, forgot raps meant to be flowin',
My lines are old news, but yours are heard among the pews,
PS3s and coffins are more dead than Hitler's Jews.
You're insulting my sex, resulting from I expect,
Your lack of ability, yeah I spoke to your ex,
The problem I'm now exacerbatin', I notice you are hesitatin',
As I tell the whole world you have trouble masturbatin'.

Battle 56: (15) WiggumFan v. (2) Dilated Chemist[]

~The Score~

WiggumFan: 3
Dilated Chemist: 9

~The Raps~

My raps' opening lines always make me want to slit my wrist,
But it doesn't matter, cuz the rest will destroy one Dilated Chemist.
You're sniffin' chemicals right from the jars like its aromatherapy,
But you gotta know those compounds are innocuous; it's elementary!
Compared to *ME*, in chemis*TRY*, yer just a grade-A moron
And you KNOW, you wish your *FLOW* would at least get a B for Boron.
Yeah, your music and rhythm is gonna be thrown all out of its circuitry,
Comparing to rock, you're just Mariah Carey and I'm Freddie "Hg" Mercury
I'm gonna suck all the life out of you, and you'll be quite in-a-panic,
I'll break your carbon bonds and bones, hey now you're inorganic!
So I hope your mind is prepared for me to bend and cleave
Did you know my favorite element is named after Mendeleev?

Dilated Chemist
Your rap has so much wrong but you did get somethin' right.
If I came out with that openin' even I'd commit su-i-cide!
Everyone on this site has flaws, dawg - yours is spittin' rhymes.
So just do as you said and take your wrists and slit 'em... side to side.
Now listen - this isn't chemistry class, it's a battle of witty raps.
I could talk hats and wigs on fannie pigs but I'm no silly sap!
Come and get some you wiggy *** - turn your rap into a stand up act.
With rhymes so bad even Superman Reeves would hand that **** back!
You lack the skill and defense to withstand my atomic blasts.
Cause I so dope my isotopes is enough to destroy your ass!
I'll inject you fast with estrogen for messin' with a veteran.
You're really wiggin' out now and you'll never get the win!

We're in for one last round, so let's take it to finish, Mister Dilated.
You're gonna be diluted alright, in fact, you're gonna be inundated.
Your composition's got less character than the likes of Pichu or Crono
As I evoke my rap diluting skills, you'll be screamin' "H2-OH NO!"
Then I'll add sodium to your mixture, and I'll create an erratic dissolution.
Your rap's content will be more mixed up than The Matrix Revolutions
So you relate me to Christopher's Superman by using the greater Reeves,
Thanks for letting me to compare you to the star of Constantine and Speed.
Too bad that my rap's expertise is something that'll go beyond you,
Cuz your only claim to fame is you learned Kung-fu from Keanu
Well, I got no more to say in the face of your rap's failed science
So I guess I'll just use this last line to congratulate the Giants!

Dilated Chemist
It's rhyme time - I got more punches than Mike Ty-son aired.
Forget Einstein, there's no such thing as this emcee squared!
Might've played Metal Gear but you fear me cause real-ly I'm the boss.
And unlike Jesus I'm someone you just don't want to cross!
You're at a loss cause I got more W's than you and that Method guy.
Oh my, did I destroy your pride and jeopardize your life?
Don't cry now, please tell how - you plan to destroy the #1, Neo.
Oh please no, you have no chance of defeating me, bro - I'm DC, yo!
No mortal man with a normal hand can afford to land where I torch the damned.
Shut out your flows? Of course I can - my lines shine like I post to tan!
Wiggumfan, don't get mad - you're gettin' your ass handed to you , accept defeat.
I straight killed you man, bless the priest, - homie, please rest in peace!


Battle 57: (8) Princess Anri v. (1) sonicblastpunch[]

~The Score~

Princess Anri: 9
sonicblastpunch: 6

~The Raps~

Princess Anri
Looks like you're on a roll, sonic. But you're runnin' outta time.
Cuz you're a bigger troll than Chronic. And way past ya prime.
Should you commit suicide? The famous question asked by Camus.
Don't even bother to decide. I'll beat your ass until you say "yes."
You may be known on board eight but you still can't get a date.
At the pre-schools lookin' for a mate. Anyone that'll procreate.
Goin' for the little girls unaware that they should have pubic hair.
You've seen more kiddies underwear than the ****in' Pedobear.
You got realo on your side. He wants a battle for his pride.
But after you and I collide, The Blast Punch will soon subside.
Your advance will be denied. I'll toss your wide-eyed ass aside.
I'll take this contest into stride. The new champ. Bona fide.

let's all pretend you're witty cause you parroted a 4chan meme
but expanded it to four lines in lieu of any clever theme
excuse you, princess, you're on the fast track to failin abjectly
is yer next move 'o rly' then rhymin 'descartes' incorrectly
i'm goin to gleefully outlive you like sartre outlived camus
since you showcase how l'enfer, c'est les autres will always ring true
with yer mispronunciation you belaid yer stratagem
feignin brains and culture knowin full well you have neither of them
it's obvious you're on the lesser side of our dichotomy
i'll slice through you like herophilus practicin androtomy
so way to prove yer widespread reputation justified
as the noxious, graceless, ostentatious face of dateless clowns worldwide

Princess Anri
I mis-pronounced a French name. I must have I lost all my support.
You can't imagine my shame after your "philosophical" retort.
You can say "Cah-moo"correctly but you got no flow like Shatner.
Who the **** are you exactly? I'm the next Phoenix Flattener.
I think you should apologize to AT. Give him penance for your sin.
Because your fake disguise is flaky. This pretense is wearin' thin.
It's time to get your "goodbyes" in and notify your next of kin.
It comes as no surprise that Sonicblastpunch Never Wins.
You may be a one seed but this match is a done deed.
Some advice for you to heed: It's time. You must concede.
Waitin' for ExTha in the semis. Realo/DC/Cokes after he dies.
You guys can dry each other's eyes. Aeon, I'm ready for my prize.

see now why i'm among federers and you're among the berrers
you named yerself for shining force but keep makin unforced errors
'i must have i lost all my support', yes, it must be a hassle
to post these when yer proofreader is in another castle
yer dreams of winnin are so absurd that they should be thoughtcrime
cause like a miniature clock, you'll always just be small time
you declare yerself the next phoenix -- that ain't a compliment
after how the last match with a phoenix and a 'never wins' went
you're just the crust off my toast, the dust beneath my heels
the program code outmoded and the road beneath my wheels
you're just another victim and my list of kills is infinite
but to honor yer memory i'll leave some dumb mistakes in it

Battle 58: (5) BBallman7 v. (13) ExThaNemesis[]

~The Score~

BBallman7: 3
ExThaNemesis: 6

~The Raps~

You hit a fluke on the duke, but this battles getting kind of gory,
What will you bring to the king, I'll end this Cinderella story.
Come legit or just quit, I don't care what you did before me,
You'll get killed with your skill, God just reassured me.

Cuz I'm a giant in this game, bigger than a whole ocean,
You couldn't catch up with my fame, if I walked backwards in slow-motion,
I put the Ex in your name, cuz I'll kill you without emotion,
Buh-ball put you to shame, you just got raped without lotion.

I don't need to get crazy, you need flow to defeat me ,
I kept this one simple, so you don't feel the need to cheat see,
No matter what you're still worse, I'm a street G,
Go use a 24 line verse, you still ain't gonna beat me,

You want to talk flukes? Those are bad words that you chose, G.
The only fluke here is you getting’ this far to oppose me.
You bring up kings and God’s with pre-determination.
I bring up my sick twisted rhymes about extermination.
About how I bring devastation across your nation.
No rations in your station can halt this domination.

You say you’re a giant, bigger than the sea.
Sorry but fat mother****ers don’t intimidate me.
You say you walkin’ backwards and goin’ in slow-mo.
I say you go the other way coz you’re a ****in’ homo.

So cry moar about the use of my “excess” lines.
I could use one word and still beat your witless rhymes.

You think you're even close to me, so let me give you a zinger,
We'll both end up on TV, but you'll be on Springer,
Can't count my victims on 2 hands, but can count your fans on one finger,
I keep going up the ladder, you're like a fart you just linger.

I can tell I'm your idol, since you're getting kind of shabby,
So I'll follow you to Springer, cuz I'm your baby's daddy.
You had a chance, you let it go, what's my stance, you should know,
You know deep down, you're the clown, who's seen a sau-sage up close.

No need to deny it, board 8 don't care if you don't hide it, except I will be all mean,
You might be a major leaguer, but you play for the wrong team.
You got no depth like a black hole, except you won't suck me in,
Come back when you're a man, or when you stop ****ing them.

Alright time for me to GET SERIOUS. Time for me to beat B-Ball til he’s DELIRIOUS.
Time for me to bring ALL my Fatal Fury. No matter what it takes to impress this grand jury
Of Rap, who will see that I’m like Terry Bogard, hittin’ these homies with lyrical punches, so hard.
And these ain’t just the words of another blowhard, so just take the shots that I send at you with no guard.

Or maybe you’ll find that I’m insane like Billy Kane, hittin’ you with sticks and poppin’ veins in ya brain.
And as ya brain drains down ya face like rain, you’ll realize, sucka, that you should’ve refrained.
From ever takin’ on this challenge and facin’ me. We could be in a race forever and you’d still be chasin’ me.
I’m comin’ in first and you ain’t even placin’ G. So just face it, B, the truth you’ll embrace it, see.
That you didn’t have a chance in all of forever. Like the Buffalo Bills winning a Super Bowl: Never...
Could you hope to outwit this master of clever, I have no peers in this game what-so-ever.
So sit back and chill, homie as your head gets severed, by this MC that’s like Brawl: BEST RAPPER EVER.

Now let me put an end to your constant free-fall. Rap clearly isn’t your game. Best stick to B-Ball.

Battle 59: (14) Forceful Dragon v. (11) AlecTrevelyan006[]

AlecTrevelyan006 defeats Forceful Dragon by forfeit (disqualification).

Battle 60: (7) BesaidGuy v. (2) Dilated Chemist[]

~The Score~

BesaidGuy: 1
Dilated Chemist: 10

~The Raps~

I’m the rappin demon, a giant, so you better shoot big
Hey, Arnold, I’ma leave you slumped on the stoop, kid
I move fast like im on a cheat code, I like haxxin
Dump a full clip, then I’m off the wall like Mike Jackson
You aint foolin me with tom-foolery, so move it G
Before I have you typin up raps posthumously
Compared to me, Hell’s heat will be pretty low
I’ma have you lookin like extras from the Thriller video
Now do you get it bro? I aint here to to test ya
Zombie your ass, then you hit you with Life like Yunalesca
Kill you twice in one sitting, its quite fitting that in the 2nd round
It’s Bottom of the ninth inning and I’m like Beckett on the mound

Dilated Chemist
Y helo thar , e-gangster - whose rhymes always contain nonsense.
Your weak career ends here, my lyrical prowess remains constant!
Your whack verses barely scratch surface - I always peak with a sentence.
A rap demon with sins, kid? A bible's in your coffin so you can sleep on repentance!
You weak when you steppin' - in circles of mediocrity you seem to be mentioned.
You'll flee from my presence so fast your feet release from the tendons!
Dawg, why you boastin' on your skill like you suppose to own the crown?
Matter of fact, why you set this up just to watch yourself go down?!
It baffles me that you just don't know when to back off, B.
Besaid, I'll beat you like Bill Gates 'til your ****in' mic grow soft, G!
Hit you with a rhyme so phat that your chance at coming back are slim to none.
I had this tournament locked since Day One - you ain't REALO you FAKE, son!

You guys want more said? I want beef, so I am after DC, the boar's head
He will be ex-hor-ted, bleedin on the floor dead. like his mouth was on his forehead
Hell, I'd simply do it for more bread, cuz when I see DC, all I see is Dead Neck
That I plan on cutting so fast, when the blood splatters, it won't even be red yet
I've got a goal just like soccer, while you're wavin bye, I'm hittin Hi notes like an opera
In the rap game, I go balls out like I ripped a hole in my boxers, I'm so ****** propa
So when I put the black gloves and shirt on, squeeze the trigger and get my murk on
There will be nothing left for you except for big bells, slow hearses and church songs
I get my dirt on,I would advice you to suck straws, start poppin them pills
In preparation for eating through a tube and suffering, along with hospital bills
To ya perfect season I'm a blemish, I diluted his chemistry with voodoo
When I run in ya house, put the pump in ya mouth, you got nothin to say, do you?

Dilated Chemist
He took the bait, blood filled with hate so let me translate his fate.
I'll castrate this ingrate, mate - eat him up like a piece of cake.
Dude, when I'm drunk I just don't give a **** - I'll send your guts to your next of kin.
And you can bet your luck, you ain't gettin' up - I rendered your ass im-po-tent!
If you still don't know my words got soul that make people stop, drop and roll.
And dude your flow just has more holes than a bowl of cheer-i-os!
I got stylish punches like knuckles of prada so please don't botha tryin' to duck this lava.
Truth is I could beat you with both my eyes closed - like a ****in' pinata.
BG, I can't prop your scripted words or pretend your verse was interesting.
Dawg, your **** drew yawns first, yup - and then a few crickets sing.
This dude is shiv-er-ing, forget his trash flow and lyrics - I'll smash those in minutes.
Real fast, bro. Don't act, yo - even your ass know youre finished!


Battle 61: (13) ExThaNemesis v. (8) Princess Anri[]

~The Score~

ExThaNemesis: 7
Princess Anri: 14

~The Raps~

This is like Flair against Kennedy, I tell ya son. I’m worth Sixteen titles and you ain’t even got one.
See this is over and done, this ****’s pre-determined. I score more Touchdowns than Thomas, Thurman.

But I’m the Giants of this Super Bowl. Ready to rise up and step on you, ho.
Ready to silence and crush all ya noise...Ya voice… whiny like Brady’s, hollerin’ “17 points?!”
You ain’t even gon’ score that, your total’s at zero. Stick to guitars, homie coz I’m rap’s Hero.
Zap you like Chu to Fearow, act like Rob DeNiro… coz I’m flawless and my rhymes they lawless.
Braveheart like William Wallace. And “freedom” is something you’ll never again see
Coz you stepped to Mr. InSANity, so understand me, Princess Anri, you just can’t beat..
Me.. Coz you’re a coward and I’m waging wars. I’m straight Geese Howard with my Raaaaging STORM!
When I’m through you’ll wish you’d never been born, an orphan, you’ll wish you’d been an abortion.

Extortion won’t even help you because you move so slow, dude. I’ll keep on shining when you fail to glow, dude.
When this is done you’ll say the Reaper knows you, because ExThallence just *RKO’d you*

Princess Anri
ExTha, you shouldn't even be here. You're just a weak clone like Seph.
You got lucky as a wild card but you've been rhyming like you're deaf.
You can't read my lips as I'm spittin' it. They move too fast for your eyes.
Grab your girl's hips while I'm hittin' it. Blood is runnin' down her thighs.
When this tournament is ova', you'll be crying like a ***** for Jenova.
Spank your girl's ass so hard, I'll make her scream like Sharapova.
I feel like I should go easy on you because I've got the upper hand.
I'm about to call Jeff Veasey on you and get your fake ass banned.
You saw the show with "sonic the favorite." I just can't be stopped.
Sit back, let me flow and savor it. Before your ass gets dropped.
The closest you'll get to me is your name next to mine on the marquee.
But now it's time they took "ExTha" down and put up "Anri versus DC."

So my RKO didn’t finish you off, even though you’re blows were clinically soft.
Clinically depressed like you off Zoloft when I get sick’a playin’ around and take them mother****in’ gloves off.
Dip my fists in glue and roll ‘em around in glass, send ‘em straight through you and knock ya on yer’ ass.
So Bow down in the face of the Shining Force that I bring, I’m bout to devour your verse like a 3 course for the King...

You talk about clones and say my cards are wild. I say you got owned coz I’m hard; you’re mild.
You wanna ban me with Veasey, this ****’s too easy, you’re breezy and weezy, go call Sailor Beezy
Format was wack and your rhymes were cheesy, so I’m bout to show you how it’s done, fo’ sheezy...

I’ll rock and sock you, clock and mock you, cole-cock you. Step into the ring and ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP you.
I’ll liquefy you and mop you, ‘lectrify and shock you, take you to the Empire state and knock you off, dude.
And as you fallin’, turn and scream til’ your lungs hurt, close your eyes til’ you splat n’ yo blood squirts...
But then you wake up, realizin’ it was a dream, then you scream; coz you see me right in front’a’ yo’ TV.
“Nice to see you old friend. Did you enjoy your end? Yes, it was real; I brought-you-back-to KILL YOU AGAIN."

Princess Anri
This match was over from the first verse. But I gotta spit something at least.
I got ExTha in the back of my hearse. He's long since been deceased.
I'm gonna keep this verse brief. I don't want to disrespect the dead.
To help your mom with her grief, she's on her knees giving me head.
I'll replace her tears with my semen. Then I'll send her ass the bill.
You should have listened to Freeman when he offered the blue pill.
You gonna cover your fists in glass? You think you're Jean-Claude?
My knuckles are already brass. I'll take you out like sonic the fraud.
Time for your Sudden Death. I'm about to cut your post-season short.
You're gonna find out the hard way why they call this the Bloodsport.
I'm the Hard Target in this bout. You had Nowhere to Run so you folded.
In case you guys had any doubt, all the Van Damme puns are bolded.

Battle 62: (11) AlecTrevelyan006 v. (2) Dilated Chemist[]

~The Score~

AlecTrevelyan006: 16
Dilated Chemist: 17

~The Raps~

Guess I’m in the finals, up against this tourney’s fave
But I’m here and ready, to direct him to his grave
David v. Goliath, I will iceberg your Titanic
You may be the chemist, but it’s MY flow that’s organic

I’m bromine to your benzene, I’ll be breaking every pi
Like sodium in water, it is clear your doom is nigh
For you it is all over, and your rappin’ well is dry
I’m aborting your career, with a hanger up the thigh

Alec’s here to bring you down, DC whose rhymes are vaunted
Like a girl round SDR, your dreams will all be haunted
Aeon says Cokes was angry, but for this he need not fear
This one’s already over, no tiebreaker’s needed here

Dilated Chemist
Whoever testifies that they're as blessed as I will get rectified and left to cry.
This fake agent ain't the best, he lied - Alec Trevelyan likes to have sex with guys!
Yup, that's his only ex-er-cise - quick to raise his hand when asked "who's next in line?"
Takes it from behind and pretends he's fine - while people scrape his brown like resin highs!
Eww, your rap status has offended mine - sicko, this is where your whack record dies.
Dawg, my rhymes are sick they infect the eyes - my multi's got the crowd lookin' mes-mer-ized!
Can't beat me, many have already test the ice - your wins were by luck but the rest is dice.
I'll deflect all your punches and severe your thighs - I can't be held down with the sturdiest vise!
I'm a verbal picasso lettin' thermal shots go - leavin' you with shells like when a turtles hollow.
I'm a pain thus an epidural follows - you didn't come to spit, like a girl that swallows!
Watch DC the Damager punch this weak challenger cause like virgin's in porn, he's such an amateur.
Beatin' me requires ****in' talent first - now your days are numbered like months on calendars!

Wow, that’s intellectual, gotta call me ****sexual
But like you without Viagra, it was pretty ineffectual
Regardless of whether I am straight, at least I don’t go nail jail bait
But after roofies to sedate, you and lil sister get ‘long great

You want multis every line, and that I do admire
But I give them to ladies, get them calling like a choir
My disses burn you inside out, like an enema of acid
Looks like DC has hit a drought, cuz the crowd was pretty placid

And after this rap, your girl will yearn, and while she bangs me I'll laugh at her,
Give her such a tap, your dick will burn, like some barb-ed wire catheter
So I think today, it’s been conveyed, that here your welcome’s overstayed
After this play, the crowd will say, “By Alec Trev DC was slayed”

Dilated Chemist
The pictures I drew in 3rd grade explain more than your word play.
When I'm done with you you'll look like split juice - all over the floor, stained.
Alec can't handle me, jeez. You blowin' my style cause you a fan of D's.
Brought ecstasy in a bag with me - yup, I'm takin' this battle with E's
Catch my flow? Prolly not cause my punches swollen drift will leave you cold and stiff.
Your ass is too slow - I'll roll your scripts, smoke and burn this ***** like smokin' spliffs.
You holdin' this? This man has to stop, I'll smash his top with acid drops.
You're rhymes are hot, fantastic.... NOT! C'mon Alec, just admit you slob.
You incestuously blow pops so I roast suckers - bustin' hard like broke rubbers.
I smoke & toast duckers - DC is like Ray Stantz, the way I ghost busters!
I'm like your momma's snatch - somethin' no man should try to **** with.
Your rhymes completely blows me away... but only cause you suck ****!


Battle 63: (8) Princess Anri v. (2) Dilated Chemist[]

~The Score~

Princess Anri: 20
Dilated Chemist: 21

~The Raps~

Princess Anri
You managed to go undefeated with rhymes you probably didn't even write.
But now I'm still the top emcee, with ten times more kills than Luca Blight.
You beat me once before when I was just a student. Now I'm rap's savior.
If this league was the institute for mutants I'd be Professor Charles Xavier.
Your head is swelling even faster than my dick while watchin' porn.
There's no quelling this disaster. It'll be over quick. No time to mourn.
You're lucky I gave you my vote over this tourney's little favorite Alec.
My rhymes so far down ya throat you'd think they were skittle flavored and phallic.
You said you couldn't believe you were in the finals against "this guy."
I guess I just ain't gangsta enough. But I'll still win and this is why:
You're about as gangsta as Hello Kitty. You've got no hope for a repeat.
Last time they voted out of pity. This time they help you cope with defeat.

Dilated Chemist
Speak back and get maimed, flow's mastered - can't beat it.
Your broke craft, delete it - your verse was so sad I needed Prozac to read it!
Think you stoppin' me? *****, drop the beat and I'll rock a free.
Dawg, I run this board like pickin' the shoe in Monopoly!
Attractive at glances but your verse lacks in advancement.
I'm the first challenge you've had - how will you salvage the damage?
I'll beat your chest in regardless whether the message is harnessed.
Cause when you battle you post trash like yesterdays garbage!
You're just a decadent artist - battlin' DC for fame, simple and plain.
I'm the National Anthem, ***** - I'm way ahead of the game
This rap is done, the riddles prove I'll **** on you - here's a little clue.
I'm mini-me in battle cause I'll always belittle you!

Princess Anri
"Decadent", triple word score! Oh wait. This **** isn't Scrabble.
And while you may be a shoe...seriously this **** is a battle.
If you need to take Prozac, I can assure you, it ain't from my verse.
You're overrated like Zach, but I endure you. I've been through worse.
Look out, he's gonna "rock a free." Wait, what is that I don't even...
Probably means he's ready to flee. I don't really blame him for leavin'.
It won't even be tough for me to take out a fake Star Spangled Banner.
I think this is enough to be worse than when Snake mangled Tanner.
You are kinda like Mini-Me: a gimmick that's not welcome any longer.
And I'm kinda like Biggie, see. If you kill me I'll only become stronger.
Here's something "simple and plain": You couldn't beat Simple Plan.
By Anri, you've simply been slain. Just concede to the better man.

Dilated Chemist
I'm ruthless when I rap, just choose not to write back.
When you accepted you steppin' in my newly designed trap.
Activate this, you'll get slapped and shakin' for tryin' to attack my greatness.
I'ma tear this ***** up worse than a virgin amongst a batch of rapists!
I doubt you'll even land a punch, you can throw a few if you dare.
But Anri you're only outstandin' when losin' in musical chairs!
Your whole flows a disaster - mines iller than a cancerous bastard.
With stanza's of anger I'll leave you in an open grave all mangled and plastered!
I mastered this, don't hate - Anri, I'm that great at makin' rhymes.
Your **** wouldn't be explosive if you had anal sex with mines!
No lie, it's the truth - I come hard when I rap, it's a fact.
And when I spit, it's over - like dudes when they climax!

Princess Anri
That rap wasn't very "ruthless." Sounds like you're trying to seduce me.
Spittin' rhymes like ya toothless. What's with the lisp you produce, Dee?
I clearly spit this verbal assault that's about to bring your reign to a halt.
I merely get rhymes from my vault. You get yours from LameJokeAlt.
Rapin' virgins is the only way you can get laid without the girls gettin' paid.
I think your ass should be afraid. Instead of a mine, I'll use a grenade.
You think you're the next Horatio. You're the only virgin on this board.
Unless you count your verbal fellatio. You can keep my load as your reward.
Your flow does seem kinda sick. You should get it tested for Chlamydia.
I'm a beast owning a chick like when the sea monster bested Rydia.
DC might beat me at musical chairs. I won't test his lame claim to fame.
But let's just see how he fares against the best in a real man's game.

Dilated Chemist
My words insist I'm superb with this verbal diss, DC the murderous journalist.
Tyin' poisonous herbal dipped tourniquets where the worst of his surface ripped!
You're about to burst from the nervousness of facin' my cursive assertiveness.
My verses are merciless - tighter than a virgin's perked cervix is!
Dawg, it's true - I'm the tightest rapper to ever write a chapter.
I could set this kid straight while holdin' back - like a skilled chiropractor!
I've got writin' mastered and I was blessed to speak with the best elite.
If Anri shedded and embedded my skin in lettuce, he still couldn't get ahead of me!
And I suppose you hoped I hadn't remembered to show.
Cause you know you're ****ed if I dropped - like a prisoners soap!
Already served this foe an L but I'll gladly force feed him another.
Cause history always repeats itself - like Alzheimer patients who stutter!

See Also[]