The Second Round of the One Loss Bracket of the Board 8 RAP BATTLE 5 Tournament.
~One Loss Round 2~[]
Battle L9: Walrus vs. Menji[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Walrus
Introducing the rapturous rapid flow in this rap battle,
I'm Hurricane Katrina and you're in N.O. without a paddle.
My s*** addles you like mad cattle disease - you got a cow?
I'll bull rush these bars and collectivize votes like Chairman Mao.
Leaving you feelin woozy, like you just got lit up by an Uzi,
Yo flow almost as dumb as asking a blind girl out to a movie.
Illmatic as f***, my rhymes hitting harder than a monster truck,
This battle is a Civil War - you're the Beavers, I'm the Ducks.
I rap this in the street, got all the ghetto asses clappin,
You so ratchet you got the clap holdin your strap like "what's happenin'?"
You as cute as a Pikachu, but my s*** is four times effective,
Devastatin' you so bad your presence is a contraceptive.
Menji
I'm seeing red reading these sluggish rhymes, go back to bed
I'll rap you in your blankets and win this contest like I said
No lying, try to read my poker face and I'll leave you straight gaga
You're an abomination to my sensation, the rapping star wars saga
I could force teach you 'til I'm hoarse like a life sentence English course
It wouldn't help though, your brain and mouth are going through divorce
Claiming your raps're Illmatic? Son, you're Nas' Untitled
Indecisive word choice leaves my wordsmith's fury unbridled
And it's no coincidence you compare yourself to Hurricane Katrina
When your flow's a disaster and I'm out to avoid ya like a subpoena
Court ordered, my flow's in limbo while I grab Me_Pie_Three
He'd teach you like he taught me, another average blind girl diss? C
Walrus
My raps ain't Untitled - this one's "Menji chokes on dick"
You get flicked and your ass splits in half just like a toothpick.
You ain't hard with your fairy poker face lady gaga s***.
So Just Dance out of this contest, you winning would be robbin it.
You're whiter than Vanilla Ice, a nice big tasty snowcone,
But I'm on the throne, so I'll melt your ass, you'd best just go home.
This battle's getting bum rushed, leaving all the b****es starstruck,
But your 12 bars of garbage gettin' placed right in the dump truck.
You're out to avoid me? That's your most prudent option,
Else I'd kick your sandy box and the salad you're tossin,
All the way off Board 8, and straight into your coffin,
So maybe you should sack up and stop butt f***ing so often.
Menji
You got it all backwards man, as done by Tom Green:
"My bum is on your lips" - instead, lick my dick clean
Ladies call it irresistible like cookies left for St. Nick
The only maneuver getting my dick out is the Heimlich
But no one's here to save you, too busy with their Save My's
Roll to save vs. suffocation, sounds like you'll need more than two tries
Even in a game of D&D, you'd still choke when it's left to your imagination
Perhaps you're suited for something simple: pumping at the my gas station
You'll still be socially inept but good at one thing, call you Dexter Morgan
Better than me even, 'cause we don't bother with that s*** in Oregon
Only way you're surviving this night is to pull the guilt card out
Go ahead a sell your raps like they're cookies from a girl scout
Battle L10: Anri vs. jdizzy[]
~The Score~
Anri: Forfeits
jdizzy: Wins by DQ
~The Raps~
Anri
n/a
jdizzy
I'm a rappin highlighter yeah I turn n****s yellow
Face me like your worst nightmare legs quiverlike jello
I pudding pop off like Cosby make you sweat like wearing sweaters
Seems like the last 2 chumps knew better then tryna face there betters
Y'all both cowardly b****es no courage unlike the dog
I mean I know I must be scary but y'all be leaping like frogs
And I'm the truck no dodgin me, can't make it across the road
my lines Come at you quick like that one video game toad
I wrote this rhyme in less time then is takes to p**** out
I'd tell you man up but I doubt you know what that's about
I ain't never scared I got that Luda mindset
I need a real opponent ales is it time yet?
Battle L11: swordsman vs. MePieThree[]
~The Score~
swordsman: 8
MePieThree: 0
~The Raps~
swordsman
Lyric packets flood your consciousness, a rap DDOS attack,
But I don’t mean you’re Anonymous when I say you’re a hack.
My loss would be preposterous, I leave ya burned like phosphorous,
The UN begs me “please, stop the killing, save the populous!”
My dominance is obvious, you can’t begin to test me,
I’m in your head, Leo, top of the game, Messi
is the scene of this verbal murder spree
and I’ve beaten better rappers so know MPThree aint **** to me.
Your presence here’s a mystery, I drop bars like the slammer,
Put you out your Misery and smash you with my hammer.
The crowd has my lines on their mind like a beanie,
You’re name’s a ****in joke throughout the league-- Scalabrine.
MePieThree
If I'm a joke in Tha League, call me Jeremy Lin
All I do is win from the moment I begin
Like most other playas you seem illiterate
'Fore I obliterate I'ma teach you to alliterate
Alighting along a linguistic assault
Bring it or brace it, I'm breaking your bones like the bank vault
Cannot contend, c***. Flow slow as a crawl.
Dodge, dunk, dribble, drive, dodge, the 5 Ds of BBall.
English is my second language but I'm eloquent
Finna make the finals as the fan's favorite immigrant.
Grand grand giant now, sign a G for a G of Gs
Harvard's hero here; "MVP?" MP3!
swordsman
Disperse my verse a little late, had better **** to do
Than giving out free lessons to a worthless ***** like you.
Learned to alliterate but those rhymes are merely second rate,
They yearn for my return, another serving’s what the crowd awaits.
They know I will deliver, I’m too dam strong and you’re downriver,
Got that Hoover flow, put your ass in a depression till the drinkin’ kills your liver.
You’ve got an obsession I can see in your expression,
“How the **** is Swords so damn good?!” is the question.
Athens burns tonight because of what my verse incites,
Rap revolution, smash ya system in anarchic spite.
A guaranteed failure so you may as well concede,
A dick in your mouth’s the only time you suck-seed.
MePieThree
Last time I checked, Hoover's only suck and blow
For dams to make power they gotta have bad flow
Whereas flow goes straight through me because I excel
If I were a bad decision I'd be Keystone XL
You were a worse one from the day of your conception
Sperm in your mom without her knowing. Like "Inception."
Call me Leonardo but I ain't got no bravado
Not my fault, she came to me like El Dorado.
It's V-day so there was delay
But now my bone's, well, dry as a bone
If you wanna call it "Virgin's Day" that's okay
So you can celebrate dying alone
Battle L12: Biolizard vs. BBallman[]
~The Score~
Biolizard: 0
BBall: 7
~The Raps~
Bio
It's been a while now, but I'm back in the frey
Can't kill me now, I've got five bars stocked up. Jean Grey.
Dark Phoenix rises, burns your asses to ashes
Bringing so much heat, you'll be getting hot flashes
Planet buster, star killer, I beat you down for free
I'll break you in half, worse than Wesker broke Marvel 3
Do I frighten you? Give it up, or at least try harder.
A lot of talk, no bite, no class. Peter Parker.
Does what a spider can when crushed under my heel
I'm not Mephisto, son, with me, there is no deal.
The time is now, and you aren't getting one more day
Just lie down and cry so I can send the pics to J.J.
BBall
I lost my only battle, just came off of my second bye,
But it's best that I emphasize, you still should expect to die,
I'm spittin' out pesticides known to affect the eyes,
I'll admit that you're sick, cuz you've been blowin' infected guys.
Cuz bro your lack of tools are just hard to correct,
You suck, so you lose, that's cause and effect,
You're r*****ed at best. You're on par? Lets inspect:
No rhythm, flow, or good bars in your set.
You can't hide the fact you're wack, like a mask on a twitch,
F*** talkin' trash with rap, I'd rather scrap with my fists,
Slice your middle, c-section, and start slashin' your wrists,
Take out my middle, it's B7; I should be banned from this rap battle ship.
Bio
An ape could rhyme in fours, that s***'s a poser's facade
I'll call you Kevin Nash, cause I'm about to tear your quad
You call me diseased, but it's you that is impure
Your baseness is the sickness, and I am the cure
Doctor's orders, take your medicine, follow my regimen
to lose the estrogen, maybe you'll stop being so feminine
Cut you open, take your talent, if there's any left in ya
You're a fraud, a coward, more yellow than Binya Binya.
Your lyrics are empty, about as harmful as a rash
Putting you down on this track like I'm Snidely Whiplash.
I conduct this battle, think you can win? You shouldn't.
You'll be going down as the little rapper that couldn't.
BBall
You attack my raps of fours, you must be defective G,
You f***in' rapped in twos, and did it ineffectively.
F*** it, no more mercy, no fear, no etiquette,
The end of your sentence, period. Predicate.
Better yet, I'll let ya live, to show you what I've done to you,
Then flush ya down the toilet, in this battle, you're number 2,
You're gonna lose, I'm gunnin' fools, hit ya til your tongue is loose,
Kick ya with my f***in' boots, then walk off with your runnin' shoes.
For you to win, these must come true:
I share a juice with Mother Goose and Hitler yells "I LOVE THE JEWS!"
You're gettin' MURKED, I'm the best on the Earth. Jealous?
And now we all know the context of that word. Bellis.