The second Round of the Main Bracket of Board 8 RAP BATTLE 5 Tournament.
~Round 2~[]
Battle 9: Ed Bellis vs. ngirl[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Ed Bellis
It's the mod review, so let's pursue the truth in these trying times
Maybe it's taboo to you but I'm John Wilkes Booth with undying rhymes
Forsooth Mrs. Lincoln, I'm thinkin you're LinkedIn mistakenly
People don't sink into modhood for just porking Bacon, see?
There's a vacancy where your brain should be, it's a wreck
Divided and sloppy, like a wealthy Slovakian cutting a Czech
You got cocky from talk of your bobs and the popular fallout
But you've dropped all your stock, like a hockey puck – here comes *~tHe CaLLoUt~*
You're nothing exceptional; professionally you're obtuse
You could see the reflection of Christ's resurrection and think it's a moose
So the facts are now loose – gonna go for a noose to my usermap?
Don't bother abusing it, the truth's not confusing: next up, the loser's rap.
ngirl
Are you sure this ain’t a chick fight, ‘cos, that s*** sure sucked d***,
Your verse a crime that don’t excite, no one would, dare acquit.
The man on your balcony, ain’t Abe, it’s Romeo,
You ain’t in Kansas now y’see, no chance of Super Bowl.
So click your heels together; it’s time for your drag show,
Kick and squeal at my pleasure, do you pre-fer f** or ho?
Fallout doesn’t make me cocky, I know war don’t ever change,
How ‘bout you, your chubby body, with a mind that’s all deranged?
I’m towering above you, and you’re quivering with fear,
Overpowering the stuff you, keep deliv’rin’ from ya rear.
So please don’t mind the slow clap, as you head towards your close,
Only these guys think “He’s so crap, I’ll be so glad when he goes.”
Ed Bellis
That bluster's not cuttin the mustard, you're flustered, cluster-f***in
I've seen less redundancy than a USB cable and Luster f***in
But you'd empathize with those guys: after all, they plug and chug
Your life's a mess but don't stress: ngirl, you're my anti-drug!
Wrote twelve lines of ballet-hatin straight-matin season, how cliché
I can guess you ain't religious since you couldn't pray this gay away
Don't be too jealous of the Bellis cuz the fellas all adore him
I could pen better novellas than you with only my santorum
You're here before Him, tried to wage war and fell short to Him
Makin me pro-choice: I'd rejoice for these rhymes if you aborted 'em
So get started on shutting yo' trap – wait, you still aren't dead yet?
Well hey, if you're gettin a slow clap it must not have spread yet.
ngirl
The scotch already going down, with a Cuban in your hand,
You’re the only gimp in town, so it’s fine I understand.
You’ve made yourself anyone’s pet, free sexual generosity,
you take whatever you can get, a true sensual atrocity.
You idolise my style, because, you realised a while a-
go, you’d suicide but you’re servile, the votes’ll brutalise with bile. Your
Woe, identified for miles. I’ve paralysed, beguiled, an
ol’, decrepit f***. A pedofile. I ostracize and all the while, you
watch, as I, so versatile, excise you so you can’t defile, more
raps, no more are you hostile. Demoralised, so infantile, you
take a look and you compile, actualise a list, because your guile, be-
lieved you might, escape the trial. But now it’s here:
Vote.
Battle 10: Chrono1219 vs. Dilated Chemist[]
~The Score~
Chrono1219: Wins by DQ
Dilated Chemist: Forfeits
~The Raps~
Chrono
Now they call life a stage, but it's reality I'm assessing.
See some fools are wastin time, scribblin lines, obsessing.
What I did is just ditch the script. Scraped it in a fire.
but you get kicked out by that b**** like Ultimaterializer.
I just start fresh, can attest, how this battle is won.
But you forget, brain regress, your wins amount to none.
Now dont you fret, no regrets, take your place behind me.
You second guess, and confess your brain is a little rusty.
Ready for the curtain call, but you're already bowing to me.
Even When you give your all people weep at the atrocity.
I know you would have settled by giving a fat lady a ring.
Don't stress your little mettle, listen to the jp sing.
DC
I'm the greatest to log on and write verses - yes, this rhymes perfect.
**** raps, I type hearses - Chrono, your time of death online's certain.
This page contains my wrath designed, the mad chemist syllable mastermind.
Past my prime? You'll discover I've accomplished double the rest in half the time.
Watch as I gracefully storm from a haven that breaks from the norm.
Never strayin' from form - born from warlocks and creations of scorn.
B8 rappers payin' homage to the knowledge I display in this course.
Of sendin' cats to St. Peter with ether that sprays from my pores.
DAILY REPORT: I'm retirin' names with mad heart, desire, and game.
Liars are slain for gettin' gassed because my verses are fire and flames.
Inspirin' lames, my **** is built strong to ****in' embarrass you.
Not a challenge with your drop in talent... so I'm cuttin' your parachute.
Chrono
Do you forget it's not how you're born that matters.
Who can reject it's who you are on the platter?
Be the ruler of the slums or a bum of a king.
Nothing truer than this one verse that I'll bring.
You calling me a liar but you're just blind to the facts.
But I aim to be higher, don't hide behind a cheap attack.
Just know I have the will for One hundred-percent legitimacy.
Done all I can to kill every bit of the fake from within me.
But who needs a parachute when you can fly?
Guess you're grounded to your roots, dry up and die.
Can't win this fight with your level of emotion.
Do as you might and still kneel to me in devotion.
DC
n/a
Battle 11: Boko vs. Mer[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Boko
toast my reign with glassed champaigne, some call me majinzidane
boast the name; proclaim with fame, but i prefer denny crane
can't explain your pain, mer, how 'bout we call you dane?
cooked but plain - playin lanes like i'm pre-patch carry vayne
so i'll restrain, feign to slay, say boky couldn't be sweeter
coach bombay taught me to prey, you're just a f***in' cake eater
rue the day you crossed my way, pray to jay i miss your knee, foe
my blasé caused your dismay, allay one throw like i'm tim tebow
fish fillet, they say it cra'y, today i'm loungin' in my throne
blessed, now you'll jest, lest you let me get'n my zone
'pressed by arrest, but your protest won't be appeased
you'll detest this contest when all your votes are minus threes.
Mer
I beg your pardon, how rude of me to keep my fans waiting,
so I'm startin', now you can see your chances are fading,
you're an artist who colors in the lines with no shading,
It's retarded of you to think you'd get away with hating,
Rap lord, Darth Vading, you're over like the 80s,
Tell this wack n**** I'm the Zeus to his Hades,
this lazy broke ho, says his name is Boko,
feed me weak rappers like donuts to the po-po,
so-so Joes don't throw off my mojo,
yo-yo flows get beat like the Go-Gos,
got the game in my hands, call it LocoRoco,
you've been bound to Crash since you were born, Coco.
Boko
i abhor what you adore, on the floor a dirty peon
or a w****, ruinin' thor lore when you call me "daddy neon"
my encore and i restore, no rapport you're just a b****
stealth - but with no wealth, no health, just a nervous twitch.
can't address what i possess, my c.s. access or'cle's
i impress while you regress, in duress like drowning torkoals.
success - you're under stress, 'cause princess you're just a hasssle
you're gallant. oh, your talent? must be in another castle.
it's unclear why you revere, far or near, across the sea
we can peer, view the premier starring mer and the jp.
rap's shakespeare, 'low my tier, my fans cheer "winning like sheen!"
"for-" mer f***s in muk skin; says ruxin "-ever unclean!"
Mer
If I'm Torkoal, then I guess that means your ass is on some Oddish ****,
You callin' out my talent's more Ironic than Alanis' hit,
I lava spit, no stoppin' it, so **** you and your novice wit,
the only place you're hoppin' is up on my dick, you closet *****,
got this in my pocket, ****... Call it Polly.
If I had to grade your verses: Double D's, call 'em Dolly,
I ain't never been jolly, but I deliver, call me UPS,
your tired tries at rhyming burn my eyes like the new DS,
I'm judging you, I'm Judy-esque, you're blowing it, it's Hootie-esque,
your lack of skill reminds me a porn ***** that's booty-less.
Tried to punch me out the game like Captain Falcon? A missed hit.
I'll tell my ***** to throw another scalp in my wig crypt.
Battle 12: Princess Anri vs. SeginusTemple[]
~The Score~
Princess Anri: 3
SeginusTemple: 11
~The Raps~
Anri
When I first saw him, I went wild. I knew I wanted to be Mrs.Temple
When he looked at me and smiled, I saw my future in his dimple
I had been waiting my whole life just to get close to Mr Seginus
We started dating, now I'm his wife and I need a dose of his p****
My legs are wide open and wet, I'm dying to let Seginthistemple
I'm Seg's new bride hoping I get it. I'll even beg, it's that simple
You can do anything you want to me. I exist for your pleasure
How much do I have to flaunt it before you fist my treasure
I want you to be inside of me forever so that I can feel complete
Every night you can ride me however long it takes to cum--skeet You had your fun with your whore and you don't need my b****in'
So when you're done you can ignore me, I'll go back to the kitchen
Seg
Anri's gone fawning on my schlong but I don't want the gonorrhea
so suck my vice until its ripe, get ***** smacked by onomatopoeia
sacrifice my white pawns anri, c'mon lets never be apart
unrest my testicle destiny, unleash my einsteins and mozarts
blow parts. my parts I mean, your beautiful dark crooked fantasy
I've bedazzled all the women and now I need a man to see
that my stick is like godzillas villains, it facilitates destruction
and you suck so good no simile can illustrate your suction
I'm not into dinner or a movie, lookin forward to the luncheon
where I laugh and feed and beat you with my featured meat truncheon
give in to your adoration bro, elevate my wicked power
all in all you are just one more brick in temple's tower
Anri
You came late, but you can take as much time as you need
Don't hurry fate, just give me all of what's mine: your seed
I don't have time for your chess but I can be your White Queen
Like my Emma Frost dress? Underneath, I'm shaved clean
I'm not a brick in your tower, please just brick on my face
Taking your dick in the shower: on my knees is my place
Now I'm just gonna take it, you kept playing hard to get
Even though I have to rape it, you're still slaying my c***
Between my legs just like I dreamed, I'm about to climax
"OH GOD SEG" I screamed, but you'd already made tracks
Even though I got what I needed, next time I'll get your consent
"Please come back to me" I pleaded,"I think I might be pregnant..."
Seg
making baby bastards stirs not my placid lake, flaccid snake
break you with acid grenades made to burn your face to flakes
let a berreta replenish my fetid flesh fetish
fresh new exit wounds make the blue blood reddish
now I'm mr. extremely mean no more serpentine cream
creep, keep me outta your sleep I'm a dreamkill machine
deadly machete ready to sever every reverie of romance
never let me in your head I gotta psychokinetic fro-trance
make you claw out your tongue and say my name with your hands
make you pry out your eyes and see you're free within me
make you seek out your heart and you'll know love is blind
make you saw off your arms and grasp with your mind
Battle 13: swordsman12 vs. rollthebones2[]
~The Score~
swordsman 12: 2
Rollthebones2: 9
~The Raps~
swordsman 12
Thank you RolltheBones but you’ll wish I got DQ’d,
Twas your only chance of winning and avoiding getting boo’d.
I don’t mean the ghost but in this game you’re nonexistent
Go waddle off an edge like a DDD assistant.
At the top of the Meta game, I’m rappin’s strongest Knight
I see your legs get Jiggly, lips quiver when I fight.
But you’re out of verbal arrows, boomarangs and bombs,
Can’t make the mental Links to compete with my aplomb.
When it comes to battle rappers I’m the top of the list
Now you’re mashing c-sticks, crying “tires don exits!”
It’s a race to the finish and I know I’ve got a leg up
You’re busy smashing bros for five bucks like a keg cup.
rollethebones2
Those lines were your best stuff? They’re f***ing borin’ us
You’re drooling 'smash bros' lunesta while I’m spittin euphoria.
You ain’t impressed us by starting the second round truant
I would request confluence next time but you don’t seem fluent
While my words are like Metatron’s, penning celestial scripture
We could fit your worthwhile lines into a silent motion picture.
My divinely designed and refined rhymes confine you six feet under
You supine half-mind whose punch lines are obsolete blunders
You’re a living irrelevance, and RTB embodies excellence
Expelling your pestilence with my preeminent intelligence.
Check the precedence, my lines last year led to your derailment
I can spare you this again Swordsman: practice self-impalement
swordsman 12
What you lack in creativity you make up for with verbosity,
My verse is the epitome of what rap is supposed to be.
My lyrics smash spirits, throwing molotovs from the roof,
Only time that you’re on fire’s when I’m burning you with liquid proof
flowing from my veins to enflame your lame insipid spoof.
A faux intellectual, your flow was ineffectual,
I’m saying you suck dick but I don’t think you’re homosexual
cause I see you don’t like it so I’ll make your rape a spectacle.
I’m winning this race cause I just picked up a star,
While you’re spinning in place like you double tapped R.
Your entire world is over, as rappin’s Lord I reckon that
I’m across the finish line before got your second lap.
rollthebones2
Raps about games are a childish crime and you’re no gambino
Your flashy raps are Michael Bay, my dialogues are Tarantino
And ‘Lord’, cut that fake cheap s*** that your fake lines emit,
You’ll only win if this Atheist says “For the Lord’s sake I quit”.
Those f***ing lines you just rushed in can barely even function
So these lines are punching their way to your deconstruction
Twelve lines spent boxing and talking pure lyrical toxins
That I’ll force feed down your throat (that hole you put c***s in)
I’ll go the Whole Nine Yards, this verbose flow is just Unbreakable
While you get as much praise as Michael J. Fox in “Unshakeable”
I rap like rhyming is a Sixth Sense while you’ve failed to ever thrill us
I’m coming hard with a vengeance like a lyrical Bruce Willis
Battle 14: Biolizard vs. Giggs[]
~The Score~
~The Raps~
Biolizard
After tearing down the Redcoats and their leader's grand delusions
Bio's back on the path of his glorious revolution
Next stop Giggs? More like Gaggs, you're choking on my dong
Ask your sister what it's like, son, I can't bother to go on
I'm a lyrical wordsmith, and your crafts can't compare
If we're doing this like Voldemort, then we'll call you the spare
There is magic on my lips, every line an incantation
And in this battle, these lyrics call for your extermination
F*** Avada Kedavra, my rhymes are the killing curse
With that, you're finished before you even spit a single verse
Shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but at your funeral they'll say
That you got your pasty ass kicked in the battle this day
Giggs
Seems like it's time to grace the stage and start administring script rape
100% free Base engaged, just like a Lil B mixtape
And it's clear the flow is ill, got b****es plottin' for a relapse
But then Bio wouldn't know skill if it shot him in the kneecap
So let's recap: my rhyme inflicts defeat and pain on all
Only Redcoat here this time is Bio's blood stained on the walls
Aiyyo, being a basic b**** don't mean that you can quell my acid tongue
It's go hard or go home time, and it's plain to tell you're flaccid, bruh
I'll kill you in the womb just like your mother always wanted to
And every b**** you touched since killed themselves like you're a Montague
But don't you worry, Giggs'll f*** you up; peep the bye/bi, son
Fallin' like Glass Joe to my uppercut cos on the mic I'm Tyson
Biolizard
B****, you're setting up the dynamite for your own demolition
The only thing that needs aborting is your rap battle mission
This ain't a matter of life or choice, cause I'm just pro
You're like Mike in that you only mattered several years ago
Got a bye to round 2, and you're already out of luck
Holyfield doesn't need both ears to hear that you suck
Your s***'s weak. I swear that this battle ain't even fair
You're scared, you've broken like an MMO by Bioware
Farming from slaying scrubs, the example's in this match
They're gonna be working hard to nerf me in the next patch
It's best to pack up, son, cause this battle is mine
It's true, you're through, you blew. I quote Woo, END OF RINE
Giggs
They say "Giggs rhymes like a Norse god," but I play it low key
Still spit divine, it's just total fraud tryin' to slay this O.G.
A lesson for the insolent, you'll earn nothing but a cheap death
Gon' sacrifice this innocent, but first I'll take a... *deep breath*
Transmittin' better **** than your beta spittin', your threat etiquette is straight desperate
We're so seperate, the vote's never splittin', there's no way you'll get the electorate
I'll leave you deader than Etta's gettin', more John Paul than Sean Paul
Must be better at sweater knittin', talkin' more bull than Ron Paul
So man your ballot's invalid, your verbal pallete is pallid
And you'll win no friends spoutin' that f***in' word salad
If you're lookin' for advice please never try your luck at fiction
'Cos what's cookin' here's too nice to die so f***er suck my diction
Battle 15: Me Pie Three vs. Alec[]
~The Score~
Me Pie Three: 0
Alec: 12
~The Raps~
Me Pie Three
Alec sit down; you can't announce no-thing.
Gimme the crown; let us hail the new king.
Number one MC; it's time to rally loyal troops.
Parents from NC; I know my royal Raleigh roots.
When I hit up my harem I choose a girl and I f*** her;
You have to hear that cuz it's how I met your mother.
You'll choke in the red zone while I stoke the pink.
See you in the endzone; I'm miles ahead like Link.
To make it fair, put me in the tourney of champions,
And join one with Allen for World's. Worst. Admins.
I'm the man with the golden gun and girls wanna get rich.
Trevelyan's death scene's coming; watch out I'm MI6.
Alec
I'm enRAGEd by that rap, s*** you spit was unfit
ENVY Menji's blind girl cuz she ain't gonna read it!
Gekko says "GREED is good", I see I'm hoarding the skill
Your rhymes so vanilla, make penicillin seem ill
Worldwide I preside, so you should take it in stride
Your girl calls my j*** ego so she swallows my PRIDE
She's a GLUTTON for cum like it's manna from heaven
Always giving MAD head like she's Spacey in Se7en
Though her LUST keeps me busy, I'll prevail against SLOTH
Because this emcee's harder than nipples on Hoth
Poor Sauce drew a rapper who's as deadly as sin
So bring in next of kin 'fore it even begins
Me Pie Three
You're a clown with a gimmick; a sinner named Bozo
But I'll indulge you via mimic; I'm rap's VIRTU(E)OSO
The angel of flow and I'm bringing you JUSTICE
And since you're such a Sucubus your "manna's" just j***
PRUDENCE tells you to quit. Resign to fatalism.
You'll never get better. I heart creationism.
I'm Saint Pietrick ridding B8 of hood rats
I'm holier than Tebow, shout out "Who Dat?"
I could send you straight to hell, but I'm showing RESTRAINT
Hope you have the COURAGE to confess what you ain't
I flow with dexterity; I'm gaining popularity
So I have FAITH you'll be HOP(E)ing for voter CHARITY
Alec
When facing your damnation, you just parrot my creation
You think you'll gain salvation from pathetic replication?
Hear that flattery's sincerest in the form of imitation
Though you'll still end up forgotten, like a visit from The Haitian
Oh look a Tebow reference, so unorthodox and fresh
What next, a Mer rap battle where somebody gets called "pressed"?
When you're blessed with no zest, should at least try your best
Your raps show you Rushmore than looped North by Northwest
This guy fails at all things dope -- he’s like Ziggy from The Wire and
thus it fits that he’s exposed, then forgotten like retired brands
For the rate that you perspire, one would hope you had some fire, man
At least you'll get the votals – one for every snake in Ireland
Battle 16: BBallman vs. Extha[]
~The Score~
OVERTIME
~The Raps~
BBallman
I'm gonna verbally castrate this rap fake,
Got his dick sucked by a man, and said he's still half straight,
You look like a fat ape got ass raped,
I'm embarrassed for this board if you don't finish in last place.
I'm a ten, hardcore, men are all you get hard for,
And I put up a God score, like a 1 on a par 4,
I'm not done, encore, but I know you don't want more,
You're a sheep with a lion in a room with a locked door.
Iron clad vs feather fists, I'll smash Exthanemesis,
In fact I'll grab your neck and twist until your head has bled and splits,
Now you're done, forever missed, you better run and exit quick,
I heard you swallow cum for breakfast b****, cuz word is Extha never spits.
Extha
Wow, we’ll be bored by a thousand gay jokes when your talking’s done.
But I guess that only makes sense since you’re a walking one.
I’m ringing bells with rhythm spells that give ‘em hell.
And you spit gay bars like you gettin’ raped in prison cells.
And yea a dude sucked my dick, but I aint really bothered, kid.
Coz it aint my fault we can’t tell what gender your father is.
You’re notably slow it seems every time that you go at me.
And even your ho’ll cream when she hears some of my poetry.
I’m Frost-y see, so tell her to drop by my wood on a snowy eve.
So believe, I’ll murk you til you’re a burnt out gutter lay.
I’ll carve, cut, and chop you down so that your blood’ll spray.
Homie, you drove the road not taken but you should’ve went the other way.
BBallman
I heard you were good, I better recheck facts,
You're a b****, step back, spewing s****, Exlax,
Snapped your throat, neck cast, you best play dead fast,
Before I hit you in the eye like I'm sponsored by Lenscraft,
But losing to me means improving your X-stats,
So I'm helping you out by moving to next match.
Sex with my dad? That's a stupid tactic, enjoy the loser's bracket,
I use a lot of gay jokes, but that's cuz yous a f*****,
I'll leave this bum hurtin, my gun's certain, I'm the Atilla the Hun serpent,
You're the winner of none version, this is 300 with 1 Persian.
Your best shot is conceding, your skills done nothin' to help,
Like a dead necrophiliac, you're just f***in' yourself.
Extha
It’s so funny that this fat geek thinks that he has heat,
When he tried out and failed to make my rap team just last week.
Unfortunately he couldn’t even make junior varsity.
His gnarly beats were nothin’ but farcities.
So I’mma force feed catharcity to his starving artistry
In the form of my hardened PEEN.
I’ll build and ERECTAL set in his ass while I rape him on his couch,
Then I’ll use my c*** to ETCH-A-SKETCH my name in WHITE on his mouth.
This was our rubber match and I ****in’ proved that I’m the better man
Broke both his arms and legs, and gave him four casts like a weather man.
I brought the heat, G, my allophones got acetone.
So B, blow my horn and talk to my nuts like my sack’s a phone...
BBallman
You should have been a mattress stain, your father should have practiced aim,
Or better yet your f***in' mother should have knelt down and enacted brain,
The fact remains, you use other's lines, just f***in' shoo n00b,
Four casts? Search king of the dot online. Youtube.
It's true dude, you're either a thief or not a very clever vet,
And your flow makes it seem like you got a speech impediment.
Not shocked, but it's me that should use a "better man" joke,
Got clocked, I sped up the time of your death like I made the second hand smoke.
Extha is beneath me, guess that makes him an a******,
If you gave a mil for each good diss that f** wrote he'd be mad broke.
I'd say that Extha sucks, but that would be redundant,
Obligatory gay joke: Your ass is what men cum in.
Extha
Like rebellin’ against office machines you’re gonna protest the fax.
When I inform your f***** ass that you’re grotesquely whack.
Tellin’ stories about my lines like that’ll change the outcome
instead of showin’ us where you bit your style and your sound from.
Homie it’s a ****in’ strategy that is completely flawed
coming from the demon rapper from Fleet Street, Sweeney Fraud.
Homie I’m bout to leave you burnin’, crispy, and covered in blisters,
like your dick on that night you made love to your sister.
Mister, this is finished, you are plastered, done.
You look like Luster and ngirl raised a bastard son.
And remember what I said in verse one about your daddy sucking c***?
Well thanks for making the saying ‘Like father, like son’ a f***ing lock.