Board 8 Wiki

Who is Duke Nukem?[]

You want to know about the Duke, boy? Well you'd better get your ass in gear, boy, because I'm going to make your skinny little ass pay for ruining by ride.

Know what else, boy? I'm sick and tired of all you little kids asking me about Forever. Sick and tired, boy. I'll take as damned well long as I please before I get off my ass. I kick ass and takes names, boy, and if you aren't careful, you ass'll be next. You face, your ass, it makes no difference to me. It's all the same, boy. You don't even understand, do you boy? The Duke is about about kicking ass and chewing gum, but I'm all out of gum.

What are you waiting for, boy? Christmas? Leave me alone, boy.

"The Duke is all about kicking ass and drinking milk, boy, and I'm all outta milk." - Milk Nukem

Duke Nukem's Contest History[]

Win-Loss Record: 4-7

Summer 2002 Contest - North Division - 3 Seed

  • Northern Round 1 --- Defeated (14) Iori Yagami, 33160 [62.72%] - 19714 [37.28%]
  • Northern Quarterfinal --- Lost to (6) Alucard, 22445 [38.49%] - 35864 [61.51%]
  • Extrapolated Strength --- 33rd Place [17.48%]

Summer 2003 Contest - West Division - 12 Seed

  • Western Round 1 --- Lost to (5) Ryu, 28995 [30.08%] - 67413 [69.92%]
  • Extrapolated Strength --- 45th Place [17.56%]

Summer 2004 Contest - Midgar Division - 16 Seed

  • Midgar Round 1 --- Lost to (1) Cloud, 17624 [19.81%] - 71329 [80.19%]
  • Extrapolated Strength --- 41st Place [19.09%]

All jokes aside, Duke Nukem could actually be a character capable of placing above the 40s in the Xsts if Duke Nukem Forever would ever come out. But thanks to bad setback after bad setback, Duke Nukem, his series, and the people who design his games are all made out to be jokes. CJayC even used the Duke Milkem pic from a Penny Arcade of three years ago, three years ago, during his match with Cloud in 2004. Duke Nukem has been MIA for quite a long time, and his matches prove it. He may be increasing slightly in strength each year, but his seeding is rapidly declining. His one and only win is against a fighting character that few people have ever heard of, and if Duke doesn't do something fast, he might be gone for good.


Summer 2007 Contest - Division 8 - Third Group

For one day, the Duke reclaimed some of his lost glory. He won his first match since 2002 in one of the tightest trios of the contest. He almost certainly benefited from being the only mainstream name in that match. That also proved to be his undoing in round 2, when he found himself in the same fourpack as Sonic the Hedgehog. This time, that mainstream identity couldn't save him, and he was obliterated. Only the Duke and Pikachu pulled off a first to worst performance in the contest. Truly elite company.

Summer 2008 Contest - Division 1 - Third Group

  • Division 1 Round 1 --- 2nd place, 35984 [26.35%] - Marth, 40275 [29.49%] - Niko Bellic, 30935 [22.65%] - Kefka, 29384 [21.51%]
  • Division 1 Round 2 --- 1st place, 41268 [31.07%] - Altair, 40504 [30.5%] - Marth, 30755 [23.16%] - Lucario, 20288 [15.28%]
  • Division 1 Finals --- 3rd place, 20797 [14.45%] - Link, 74138 [51.52%] - Zack Fair, 31794 [22.09%] - Altair, 17184 [11.94%]

The Duke found a slight bit of redemption in 2008. He was immediately placed in a match heavily debated by Board 8 and shocked many by beating FF6's villain and GTA4's protagonist. Then in round two, Marth and Lucario SFF'd each other, allowing Duke to roll on by and barely scrape Altair for first. The division finals were a lock for Link and Zack, but Duke's performance in this contest can never be taken away from him.

Winter 2010 Contest - Heart Division - 10 Seed

  • Heart Division Round 1 --- Lost to (7) Charizard, 20184 [35.75%] - 36281 [64.25%]
  • Extrapolated Strength --- 56th Place [23.51%]

Many people considered Duke to be nothing more than a joke character this year, and expected him to lose to Charizard. And they were right. Duke actually lost to Charizard, a Pokemon.

Summer 2013 Contest - Division 8 - 18 Seed

  • Division 8 Round 1 - 2nd place, 6011 [20.12%] - (1) Mario, 20759 [69.47%] - (27) Fawful, 3110 [10.41%]

With the release of Duke Nukem Forever Duke no longer had a joke to stand on and the game was such a flop that it was unlikely he would gain much strength from it. As expected Duke Nukem was crushed by a lot more than expected against Mario which may signal the end of Duke's contest career.