ShadowofStatue, once made a topic that people actually liked. It was called How far would you make it in this game in real life? This is that topic. Unfortunately, Shadow, shamefully abandoned his post causing an uproar. To prevent the inevitable insurrection, KCF decided to save the day.
The Rules[]
Rules are simple. You take the place of the main character in the video game. However there is a catch, you only are equipped with your own strengths and weaknesses(Unless stated otherwise). If you are not strong enough to lift clouds buster sword then well.... too bad. Simply state how far you would make it in the game until you either die or complete it! Good luck !
Previous Results (KCF0107's Tenure)[]
A[]
Animal Crossing- Unlike real life, we will likely pay off all of our debts
Ape Escape- We can't properly use the Sky Lifter, so it looks like the monkeys win
Assassin's Creed- When we take that leap of faith in Masyaf, we won't come out unscathed nor will we just break our legs like the other guy. We will lose our life, end of discussion
Assassin's Creed II- We will randomly jump off of things without scouting for cushioning and will get ourselves killed. We are that dumb
B[]
Baldur's Gate- We make to Beregost. Some of us will chill and relax here, but we will all eventually be murdered
Balloon Fight- Despite the balloons being a sort of "super balloon," we are too fat for them to lift us. Such a shame
Banjo-Kazooie- We would all drown trying to help out good ol' Clanker
Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean- Sabre Dragon takes care of us
Batman & Robin- We will beat it only because we choose to replace Batman and inherit his gear
Batman: Arkham Asylum- Despite all the gadgets we have have, the thugs at the beginning stop us dead in our tracks
Beyond Good & Evil- We have no hope in fighting against the DomZ shortly after we begin
Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing- We're Winner!
Bioshock- We don't have the luck Jack does, so we are going down in the plane crash
Borderlands- Where there's a wasteland, there are bandits and we don't match up well against them
Braid- Because most of us are already named Tim, we feel that the only option is beating the game for some odd reason
Breath of Fire III- There was no majority among the answers. The likely scenarios are us dying to some invincible horse guys, never escaping the mine, or falling of the train tracks in the cage
Bullet Witch- Shot by a sniper in the second level
Bully- We survived everything that Gary threw at us and took him down and we are now the king, or queen, of Bullworth Academy
C[]
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare- I don't know whether it means that we would die or be sent home, but it appears that training is too much for us to handle
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2- We wouldn't be able to climb the first mountain
Castle Crashers- We will either beat it or fail to reach the fortress in the sky because our rocket jumping abilities aren't up to par
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night- We only wish we could take on Wargs as they hunt us down and rip us to shreds or eat us
Cave Story- Our jumping abilities are sub-par, so we will land on spikes very quickly
The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay- Like we could survive prison
Chrono Cross- We could lose to some intimidating creatures like dragons or komodo dragons, or some guy who sounds like a tour guide in Miguel
Chrono Trigger- Sorry, but it looks like we won't stay and enjoy the carnival. We get to die at a tank shaped like a dragon
Comix Zone- The first Strigil kills us, but always remember that comic books are for nerds
Conker's Bad Fur Day- We are saying "fuck it" and decide to stay at the bar and drink
Contra 4- Die from the very first bullet fired, whether it be by us or the enemy
Crazy Taxi- We all revealed that we don't deserve a driver's license as we will crash into a bus, wall, or whatever is two seconds away from us when we hit the gas
D[]
Darkwing Duck- Shortly after our quest begins, we have to jump to a taller structure. We fail there
Dead Rising- We will undoubtedly survive, but not in heroic fashion. We will either stay in the helicopter and never enter the shopping mall or we will hide in the safe room until everything boils over
Devil May Cry- We can't make it past Alastor
Devil May Cry 2- A few reasons came up:
- We would commit suicide immediately because we are emo and decided that we couldn't kill ourselves in the real world, only the DMC2 world works for some odd reason
- We make it to the helicopter and abruptly die there
- The first thing that opposes us has the honor of ending our lives
- We are adept at standing around and shooting blindly, so we can make it all the way to Argosax
Diablo II- We won't make it out of the Den of Evil, whether it be to a Gargantuan Beast or something else
Diddy Kong Racing- We will eventually crash, whether it be on a wide-open, simple course like Ancient Lake or piloting a plane, the latter making a hell of a lot more sense
Donkey Kong Country- We meet our end at the ropes in 1-2
Doom- The second room and that's because the first has nothing to threaten us
Dragon Age: Origins- Our mission ends shortly after it begins when a dozen or so wolves take us down
Duck Hunt- We show our true colors by shooting the dog out of frustration
DuckTales- We will suffocate on the moon because we choose to go through life unprepared
E[]
Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind- Vivec seems to be our favorite city so we would likely just remain there. We could also not be so lucky and get assassinated in our sleep
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion- I can't believe that I am saying this but in a world with monsters and people that are about as dangerous they get, we are going to succeed in beating the main quest and possibly some of the guilds. Congrats to us all, I guess
Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem- There are just too many pressure plate traps in Ellia's chapter that surviving by sheer luck isn't even an option
F[]
Fable- We die to wasps, yes wasps
Fallout 3- We are going to get lit up in Vault 101
F.E.A.R.- We commit suicide, at least that seems like the logical action after being frightened by a girl in a red dress
Final Fantasy- We can't follow through on our first mission as Garland knocks us down
Final Fantasy Tactics- We could no longer rely on our allies when we face Wiegraf at Riovanes. The result wouldn't be pretty
Final Fantasy VII- It's just silly to believe that one could win against people with guns at long range using a sword
Final Fantasy IX- The Evil Forest lives up to its name
Final Fantasy X- Unfortunately, we are too stupid to get ourselves substituted in the blitzball game, so we are all drowning. Way to go guys!
Fire Emblem- We are strategical geniuses as our strategies lead everyone to victory
F-Zero- We would not only crash in the first race, but maybe even the first turn
G[]
Glover- Nothing came out on top:
- Sharks, enough said
- We are convinced that Glover is actual size, so we can't fit anywhere
- World One, Stage Two: "The Jump"
God Hand- Nobody agreed on one thing, so here's a few responses:
- 5 Seconds, no more, no less. Santa calculated
- Despite having a great advantage over others, HeroDelTiempo (calling you out bro) is so oblivious on how to fight that he would manage to find a way to lose to the first mob
- Our body wouldn't react too kindly to having our arm cut off. In fact, it chose to die. That's quite unfortunate for us
God of War- We die to the first enemy we see
Goldeneye 007- First guard kills us with ease
Grand Theft Auto IV- Concrete Jungle is where we meet our end. We can't cover and shoot worth shit
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City- Vice City is a dangerous place to be and we happen to die in one of the less "noble" ways, run over by a car
H[]
Half-Life- As much as it pains us, something with an awful name like "Headcrab" will kill us
Half-Life 2- We get killed in the apartments. What a shitty place to die in
Halo: Combat Evolved- We are far more capable than I realized as we make it all the way until our first encounter with the Flood
Hey You Pikachu!-Nobody dies so that counts as a win right?
Home Improvement- Since we are better than Tim Allen in every possible way, we will of course beat it to prevent ourselves from being considered to be on the same level as him
I[]
I Wanna Be The Guy- It's a shit life wanting to be "The Guy." We end up dying from an apple. We clearly don't deserve to be "The Guy" if that's how we die
Ice Climber- Nothing unanimous:
- We will stay stuck at the bottom because jumping is too big of a feat for us
- We won't be able to jump high enough to reach the clouds
- Instead of ignoring the polar bear, we feel that we must seek it out and kill it with a hammer. Our chances of living that encounter is 0%
Ico- We would all make it to the end. Whether that vague statement means we beat it or lose to the final boss, that was never specified
Indigo Prophecy- Well, we fail to save the kid from drowning at the park. Some of us couldn't live with ourselves having failed to do something that was near impossible given the circumstances. Others would get arrested because it's apparently a crime if you attempt to save someone and come up empty
J[]
Jade Empire- The other students are way out of our league, so we will hopefully be kicked out before all hell breaks loose there
Jet Grind Radio- Our rollerblading skills leave something to be desired. End of story
K[]
Kameo: Elements of Power- The biggest threats to us are shield trolls, long jumps, and confusion
Katamari Damacy- We will either beat it or be killed by a much larger animal
Kid Icarus- We don't possess any archery skills so we won't make it very far
Killer7- Despite the Heaven Smiles "begging" us to kill them, we can't follow through on the very first one
Kingdom Hearts- We couldn't make up our minds, but a few things stood out. We would likely stay on the island and mess around with one of two 14 year olds. If we weren't overcome from lust for little girls, then Darkside was a worthy choice for our end. If we somehow made it past both obstacles, then it would all end at Clayton's bullets piercing through our skulls
L[]
Left 4 Dead- Special Infected = Death is inevitable for us all
Legend of Legaia- Our impatience will get us killed or being in the wrong place (village) at the wrong time (invasion) will result in the same way
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past- We would so close to Zelda that she would watch us die right in front of her thanks to the Ball and Chain Knight
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask- 4-Way Tie:
- We die from starvation after being lost in the initial forest
- We beat it
- We die somewhere in Woodfall Temple
- We cannot learn a 3 second song within 72 hours
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time- Whether we would choose to jump and die or get the hell out of the Deku Tree and do something safer, that large drop stops us from going any further
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess- Like we could wrestle with cattle that are charging at us
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker- Our bodies aren't indestructible so when we hit the Forbidden Fortress walls, well, we aren't getting back up after we hit the ground
Leisure Suit Larry In the Land of the Lounge Lizards- We all said different things, but I'm siding with the guy who seemed to have the most knowledge about the game. We are going to fail to impress the woman at the disco and run out of cash to do anything about it
M[]
Madden NFL 2002- We are given the chance of a lifetime and we get cut not because of a lack of ability, but because we will miss too many practices
Marvel Ultimate Alliance- With Thor, Silver Surfer, and Doctor Strange accompanying us, we will not die and make it all the way through
Mass Effect- We will either die sometime before reaching Ashley, which some people find as a blessing in disguise, or we will explode on Eden Prime
Maximo: Ghosts to Glory- We can't fight legions of undead, so we die on the first level
Max Payne- It's very depressing knowing that we will likely die in a subway
Mega Man- Guts Man's disappearing platforms take us by surprise
Mega Man Legends- We all die shamefully to someone with such a silly pun as a name in Tron Bonne
Metal Gear Solid- We are so inferior to Solid Snake that half of us wouldn't even survive the swim. The other half would die in the first room
Metroid Prime- That Morph Ball man. We will either be too distracted being fascinated with it that we are killed by something or we can't adapt to using it and get ourselves killed
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out- Despite all of the problems that Glass Joe has and, as well as his terrible record, we show how big of pussies we really are
Mirror's Edge- Our first attempt at doing anything would result with us falling to our death
Mister Mosquito- We are killed in the bathtub level. Since someone was talking about retaining their sex drive, I am intrigued as to what the situation was
MLB Front Office Manager- We will take one the extreme paths, winning the world series or running the team into the ground
Myst- Whether it takes us a relatively small amount of time or decades, we will eventually finish it
Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon- When we find out that we have to climb Mt. Fuji, we're like, "Fuck this."
N[]
NFL Head Coach- Most of us agreed that we would make a team do worse, but responses were all over the place. Because of that, the most popular answer ended up being that we would win the Superbowl
Ninja Gaiden- we die almost immediately upon fighting the two ninja in the beginning
No More Heroes- Since the enemies are pathetic as shit, we make it to Death Metal where are lives promptly end
O[]
P[]
Pac-Man- It was determined that the ghosts are able to kill us so the combination of the ghosts and the fact that we are in a maze would get us killed sooner than later
Pac-Man World 2- Once again, nobody said anything in common so here's what was said:
- Canyon Chaos has these large gaps that we have no chance of jumping
- Won't be able to eat a ghost
- Die from overeating like a champ
- Buzzsaws
Paper Mario- Koopa Bros.? Tubba Blubba? Crystal King? They pose no threat and neither will anyone else as we beat the game
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door- Our outcomes will be one of the following:
- Lord Crump's troops give us a not-so-warm welcome upon entering Rogueport
- Beat it
- We die to Cortez because jumping won't be a viable option in that fight
- Death by reading a ghost's diary
- Pummeled in Glitzville
Parasite Eve- As the expression goes, it isn't over until the fat(opera) lady sings. In this case, it's over when she burns us to a crisp
Perfect Dark- First set of guards take us out (Just like Goldeneye....)
Persona 3: FES- Killed on the monorail
Persona 4- Shadow Yukiko, which may or may not be better than being shy around girls, thus missing the Midnight Channel
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney- The first case would be a cake-walk, but with Mia gone in the second case, we crumble from being on our own
Pikmin- Against all odds, we are making it off that planet in one piece
Pokemon Yellow- We would eventually become the Pokemon Master, but our paths to and from there differ, including Mewtwo killing us afterwards and banging anybody we wish
Portal- The turrets would stop us dead in our tracks
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time- Wall-running isn't something we are adept at
Prince of Persia (SNES)- We break both of our legs on the first drop. The guard will then casually stroll over and stab us to death
Q[]
R[]
Rampage- We would beat the game in one of two ways:
- Destroy everything in existence
- Die, but a Cold War: Redux would ensue once how we became mutants was leaked, which would end up destroying everything in existence, just in a more drawn-out fashion
Ratchet and Clank- We probably don't even know how to properly use a screwdriver, so immediately
Red Steel- We die to the first enemy, who happens to have god awful aim. We are that incompetent
Resident Evil- Try as we might, the dogs are going to catch us and eat our brains before we can reach the mansion
Resident Evil 2- We just aren't the fighting type. We will die by heart attack upon seeing zombies or killed by zombies after being cornered
Resident Evil 3: Nemesis- The very Nemesis we see kills us
Resident Evil 4- We may be able to get into the village, but we aren't coming out
Resident Evil 5- Some big dude will kill us, whether it be one with a chainsaw or a battle axe
River City Ransom- Getting that extra fighter helps, but we are still going to get curb-stomped by Benny and Clyde
S[]
Saints Row- We let the opportunity of a lifetime, the chance to be in a gang, go to waste as someone wastes us
The Secret of Monkey Island- Nothing took the majority, so:
- We drown trying to pick up the idol underwater
- We refuse to be go into the canon at the circus
- We die somewhere in that off-screen chaos at the governor's mansion
- "The Machine" stops us
Shadow Complex- We either break our legs falling from a wall or simply fail to climb a wall
Shadow of the Colossus- No way in hell are we getting past the first colossus!
Shaq-Fu- Like we could take on a guy with swords with our bare hands
Shining Force- We would let everyone else put themselves into harm's way and end up victorious with barely a scratch on us
Silent Hill- For whatever reason that a pterodactyl is in a cafe, we are dying at its hands/claws
SimTower- Our project will falter and will literally be driven to the ground, due to a terrorist or poor architectural planning
Skies of Arcadia- Antonio gets us before we can do something about Alfonso
Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus- We are dying in the intro, whether it be by dropping into the building or fall off the water tank
Sonic the Hedgehog- The impact from land after using the springboard in 1-1 renders us obsolete
Sonic the Hedgehog 2- When we are forced to take a spring to scale a cliff, we aren't going to reach the bridge above
Splinter Cell- We are getting rubbed out on Police Station. We will either be absolute morons and somehow run out of ammo and lack the ability to be physical or we will die to one of the two guards harassing the drunk man
Starcraft- Once again, everyone believes they are tactical geniuses, so we cruise to victory no matter which faction we side with
Star Fox 64- We crash the arwing and die almost immediately
Star Fox Adventures- Our responses are all over the place in terms of where they take place in the story. We will die from the crash in the very beginning, during the test of fear, from electrocution in Cloudrunner Fortress, or we fail at the strength competition in LightFoot Village
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic- We die with Carth underground on Taris, die as soon as Trask leaves us, or we beat the game because deep down, we are all truly Jedis
Streets of Rage- We die to the first boss. The dude has a bladed boomerang!
Super Ghouls 'N Ghosts- We couldn't agree on anything, so I am going to combine a few things and say that we ditch the armor and zombies get to us
Super Mario Bros.- It was near unanimous that we would die on the first level, but the first Goomba is the likely reason as to why
Super Mario Bros. 2- People were insistent that dying from initial drop does not violate in-game physics, so there you have it
Super Mario Bros. 3- Either the first pipe stops us or we die sometime on the moving stage of 1-4
Super Monkey Ball 2- We could manage the first few floors but it is inevitable we are going to fall off and die soon afterwards
Super Smash Bros.- Despite us having a handicap and items to use, we still can't get past Link
T[]
Tales of Symphonia- Riding on the coattails of our party, we will beat the game
Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World- I'm sure what we meant to say was that we would commit suicide for having to hang around Marta or that we would murder Marta and kind of fuck up our quest. Instead, it came out that we would beat it or die to Richter
ToeJam & Earl- Multiple thoughts:
- We will die instantly due to some weird logic that BIGPUN presented
- Some crazy ice cream truck man kills us
- We beat it. We are so much better than ToeJam and Earl
Tomb Raider- We fall down the first pit
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater- We have hit an all-time low. We fall off the board immediately upon getting on it. In other words, we would keep falling off a stationary board.
Trapped- We are going to remain stuck in the first room. Who would even think about burning a finger?
Trauma Center: Under the Knife- You are dead wrong if you felt that we could be adequate surgeons
True Crime: Streets of LA- We die by the hands of a dojo crasher or during the second mission, and the second mission involves you driving to a destination and that's all
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter- Multiple Scenarios:
- We beat it
- We get eaten by the first dinosaur
- We are unable to do any rock climbing so we will eventually be eaten by dinosaurs
- We are too manly to be killed by the first dinosaur so we will kill it in a battle of honor and determination, suffer extensive injuries, and easily fall prey to the second dinosaur
U[]
Umineko no Naku Koro ni- End of Episode 5. I can't really add anything further to that
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune- We do not survive the boat shoot-out in the beginning
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves- There was confusion over whether we would start on the train or at the museum, so I am doing both:
- Train- We aren't surviving this section
- Museum- We will be caught
V[]
Viewtiful Joe- Helicopters, sharks, lava, and everything else in this game are no match for us. We will succeed
W[]
Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos- We believe we can sit and watch the battles and we will eventually beat it
WET- Our bodies will be filled with lead immediately
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego- We do end up finding her and though most people decide to turn her in, a few let her go
The World Ends With You- We aren't lasting a week there. 3 days, 6 days max
WWE SmackDown vs Raw 2010- Our predictions go like this:
- Wouldn't make it out of training
- Lose shortly within first match
- Rehearsals told us to lose
- Script writers would make us the new badass, so we never lose
- Squash Chavo on Superstars, feud with Hornswoggle, and get future endeavor'd
- Lose to Cena
- Jobbing to Triple H
- Become a jobber and constantly introduce new gimmicks
- Cling to an awesome wresting and reap the benefits
- Beat up Hornswoggle
X[]
XIII- We aren't making it past the onslaught of people on the pier
Y[]
Yo! Noid- We die at the pizza-eating contest
Z[]
Zombies Ate My Neighbors- Even the name of Chainsaw Hedgemaze Mayhem sounds impossible. No way will we and the neighbors make it through that one alive
Former Previous Results (Stripey's Tenure)[]
Shadow of the Colossus- 1 colossus or earlier.
Metal Gear Solid- Ocelot or the very first room in the game
Left 4 Dead- Suicide, due to fear of zombies
Pokemon Yellow- Everyone would just about beat the game. Either that or have some fun with the females of the game ;).
Assassins Creed- We would all die at the intro.
Kingdom Hearts- Darkside would finish most of us due to poor jumping ability. either that or Kairi hahe.
Resident Evil 4- Most of us would die soon as we enter the village :(.
Final Fantasy X- We either died at the first boss in Spira. Or until the wedding. Unless your sonic, i doubt any of us can surf on cables.
Pokemon Snap- We would beat the game with relative ease.
LOZ Wind Waker- God damn forbidden fortress.
Bioshock- Most of us would commit suicide before even entering rapture
Fallout 3- We wont even make it out of the vault :(.
Mega Man Legends- We would fight through everything until we see Roll naked, then we'd die happy.
CoD4- We would all die on the first damn level.
Legend Of Zelda OOT- A lot of us were just too damn freaked out by a large talking tree to go any further. Either that or what was in the damn tree would kill us. Why does a friendly tree have a giant killer spider in it? WHY!!!
Final Fantasy VII- We are poor excuses for a SOLDIER. Most of us get shot in the head while trying to lift the 100 pound crapster sword. Either that or the guard scorpion eats us and our mothers.
Super Mario Bros- Either we fail to make it past the first pipe in Level 1-1 or we drown in 2-2. Why does a plumber have such good hops?
Pacman- A lot of us made it 4 hours. Me and a few others personally believe we could beat the game if we had the help of a few other ghost. WAKAKAKWKWKAKWKAKWKAKKKWKA
Mirrors Edge- We would fall off a skyscraper and go splat :). Besides one dude who thinks he will find a respectable career. PAH!
Guitar Hero 3- We would all win. Maybe a few of us would lose to lou
Portal- Either we become way to old. Or we fall into a pit of acid or some crazy crud like that.
Silent Hill- We die early.
Sonic the hedgehog 2- 1-1 is the end for us
The world ends with you- The world ends with us :(
Wii sports- We would get atleast 3 medals. None of us dare challenged matt though.
Final Fantasy Tactics- We all go bye bye in the beeginning.
Oblivion- The sewers is where we would meet our fate.