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Nonessential Introduction[]

I have had this game for over two years, but never got around to playing it. I have also heard more people bashing it than praising it which helped attribute to my delay. I have now decided to give it a go and this is also my first playthrough topic.

Commodore Clumsy and the Mysterious Cave[]

What a “great” intro. They don’t specify the circumstances of you falling into the cave, which is called Altar Cave, but I am going to assume that the hole was quite visible to begin with and that the guy is a total moron. That didn’t stop me from naming him after myself, but I am going to refer to him as his default name, Luneth. I can assure you though that I am not one to fall down clearly visible holes.

You are thrown into the fray immediately. There are no cutscenes for 20 minutes telling you the backstory of your land. You simply drop down a hole and must fight for survival and to see the light of day once again. Like many RPGs that I have played, a goblin happens to be my first enemy. I got the first blow and easily killed him in one shot.

I finally got some sort of armor with a leather shield. I have always hated the cliché about how you always happen to find like wood and leather weapons and equipment first and then you find titanium and adamant stuff later on. Why not offer stuff at any time, but have a minimum level restriction, like Children of Mana?

After a worthless cutscene involving a blatantly suspicious rock, I touched it to reveal more to the cave, which is good because if there wasn’t I would be trapped and would die. I was delighted to soon find a chest with a longsword and equipped that sucker. I was eager to use it in battle and soon had my chance with TWO goblins. I came away disappointed. Instead of doing 10 damage with a knife, I was doing 12 with a long sword. Are you f****** kidding me? What a joke! So were the goblins and a few other enemies I met along the way. There were two different one-eyed creatures. One looked like a rock and the other was hanging upside down off of the ceiling and was plantlike. One hit kills to each of them. There was also some sort of blue wisp that also took one hit. Nothing was challenging. I eventually found a few chests containing some potions and an anartic wind, which is a blizzard spell item for those not familiar, until I reached some water that could restore my MP and HP. You know what that means don’t you? BOSS FIGHT!

The next room didn’t look like a cave, but more like an altar, what a coincidence. I proceeded to go farther until I was stopped by a voice that said something about a creature of darkness. According to Square Enix, nothing is as wicked as a turtle. It took six hits to kill it and I never had to use potions. It sure lived up to its name.

Some blue crystal nearby talked about me being the chosen one, you know the drill, without really explaining things that Luneth could understand. I was transported to the overworld where I went to the town of Ur, which is where Luneth lived.

Current Levels Update 1[]

Luneth:

  • Character Level- 3
  • Job Level- 6 Freelancer

The Dull yet Remarkably Senseless Town of Ur[]

The first building I entered was the elder’s house. I talked to the head honcho, who happened to know about the crystal, what it said to me, and what it is that I should do. How is that possible? Was he the reason I fell into the hole in the first place? Was he stalking me the entire time? How does he know so much about the crystal? How did he understand the words of the crystal? Logic tells you that something is suspicious about all of this, but is it really a surprise for Square Enix to not only be illogical, but to leave several plot holes unanswered? Because of that, I expected to never learn the answers of these questions.

He then goes on about when I first got here. He was disturbingly descriptive about my father though. Apparently, I was essentially abandoned. What is with the motif of orphans, having been abandoned/parents killed? Finally, he tells me I should leave to find others like me. Man, does that help. An orphan scavenger hunt? That screams thrilling. But of course, that isn’t what he means and feels like being a vague asshole.

He wraps up the conversation by asking me to say goodbye to the two that raised me, which I assume are the other two people in the room, but I was like “Hell no!” and just up and left. I went outside and talked to some villagers who happened to know all about me, the crystal, and the quest. Who were these people? Also of note was the old man near the town entrance who acted disturbingly refreshed, it truly was a sight to behold, when I gave him a potion, but I got a phoenix down for that.

Next to the elder’s house was the inn. Only one room stood out, which appeared to be a bar. There I talked to some vampire chick who busted out in dance out of nowhere, but it was more like an Irish jig. What a disappointment. Nobody does any break dancing or grinding, the kinds that are fun to watch/be a part of. Anyway, there was a piano in the room and I played a tune that seriously couldn’t have lasted longer than 3 seconds and the whole room was clapping. Is Luneth the only one in the entire town that knows how to play piano or something? I personally can play “Jolly Old St. Nicholas”, or whatever it is called, and that takes at least 20 seconds. I can only wonder what the town’s reaction would be to that.

After leaving the inn, I found a well that contained some potions. I then visited the armor, spell, and weapon shops. I bought the poisona spell, a leather cap, leather armor, and some bronze bracers, but no weapons. I proceeded to go to a flower bed near a stream on the east side of town where a kid was surrounded by a group of triplets; they at least looked the same anyway. Apparently, the children fear me or something, which wasn’t made clear, but I think I understand why. It has to be the premature gray hair. I was then given the option to name the kid, who happened to be my best friend in the game. I named him after my best friend as well, which is ironic because he was more like Luneth and I was more like Arc, but I will refer to him as Arc. Usually when you name somebody in RPGs, it is a cue that they will join your party, but the ungrateful bastard runs off and the camera follows him to edge of town where he says that he is going to prove to everyone that he is brave. The camera goes back to me when a girl magically pops out of nowhere. Where the hell did she come from?

I headed north where a man tells me that are monsters are to be found here. I kept going north and I fought some werewolves, goblins, and killer bees. Do the townspeople no care that they live in a monster infested area? I mean, f***, that little girl was all alone in a pretty secluded area. Did nobody think about the possibility of a killer bee impaling her with its stinger? These people are not only suspicious, but also lack common sense.

There was a house up north where an old man told me to zoom in my camera to notice hidden things. Sparkles are the clue. Some pots held some potions and a candle led to more of the house where a found a lot of chests, only one containing something decent though, a Cure spell. I decided I was done in Ur and would head to Kazus

Kazus, the town you will almost certainly forget, and a desert[]

Upon entering Kazus, I saw Arc, whom I easily startled. He officially joined the party. Nothing says improvement like adding a pansy to your gang. How can we be stopped now? Nothing can stand in our way. There is still the problem of not really knowing what the hell it is that I need to do so I have no choice but to go with the flow. Every single inhabitant is a “ghost”, which actually look more like paper figures. They have been cursed by Dijinn, or something like that, who wants to use mithril from the town’s mine for who knows what.

Inside the inn, I met Cid who told me to use his airship that’s in the desert to travel to Sasune Castle and hopefully get a mithril ring. There are also talks of a missing girl; the daughter of the town’s smith. I now have two tasks at hand, but I decided to first snoop around for any useful items and I found a mithril helm and had Luneth equip it. I then left to find the airship.

The desert was literally just outside of town, so I decided now was a good time to head back to Altar Cave to see if I missed anything. I began in a room in which I had never been in before. I saw a hole and assumed that it was the one that I feel in to begin the game. There were quite a few treasure chests. Notable items were sleep spell and some bronze knuckles, of which I had Luneth equip. I then had Arc dual wield longswords.

Finally, I went to the desert. Not only did I automatically appear in the airship, but the missing girl was there as well. Her name is Refia and she proceeded to tell me stuff I already knew and joined my party. I equipped her with whatever armor I had left and a longsword and a dagger, just to mix things up a little.


Sasune Castle and the "Sealed" Cave[]

I took the airship and flew to Sasune Castle where I met a guy standing out in front of the gate who was talking to himself about how the inhabitants of Sasune were suffering the same fate as those in Kazus. We then explained about the ring that the king should have and the guy tells us to follow him and grants us an audience with the king.

As any other remotely intelligent person would do, I DID NOT follow him and decided it would be best to ransack the place first. There were two towers behind what I believed to be the palace room. I went into the right one first. The rooms were small, but there were a few chests in some of them, including two different types of arrows. The highest room looked like it belonged to a princess. Up there I got a bow. Once I started to go down, I was surprised to find enemies. They were alterations of the ones in the cave, but tougher. There were wisps and those one-eyed plant things. They hit for some pretty decent damage and were a lot harder to kill, which is to be expected. I thought about equipping Refia with a bow and holy arrows, since the enemies had dark attributes, but I saw that you had a limited amount of arrows and decided against that.

I decided to enter the left tower and was just like the right one, except I fought zombies in addition to the other enemies. Due to the toughness of enemies, I decided it was best to actually have someone learn one of the three spells I had. Cure was by far the most convenient one I had at the moment, so I had Luneth learn it. At the top was a lone treasure chest, but it of course had an enemy inside, a griffon. I am glad that I had Luneth learn cure, because I needed it. Each hit that the griffon made took out about 80% of the target’s HP. It was rather easy though. I just had Luneth cure whoever was hit and had Arc and Refia do melee attacks and the griffon was done after a few turns. My reward was a Wightslayer, which I had Luneth equip. I then gave my Bronze Knuckles to Arc to replace one of his Longswords. I fought my way back to the castle grounds when I felt it was time to enter the palace room.

It ended up being more than just one room, which was cool because that meant more loot. I found 2000 gold, a Blizzard spell, a Phoenix Down, and another Leather Shield. I made my way to the throne room where that guy from before and the king. That guy even called my group “younglings”, a term that I can’t say that I have heard before. Apparently, the king’s daughter, Sara, has the ring, but she is currently missing. Great, another missing girl, but I doubt she will be as easy to find as Refia. The guy revealed himself to be Ingus and was a soldier in the Sasune army. Ingus joins my party as requested by the king. He is a freelancer, but shouldn't he be a warrior or knight or something? It is thought that Dijinn captured Sara for her ring and took her to the Sealed Cave.

From a visual standpoint, it looks just like Alter Cave. Way to be original Square Enix. I fought some skeletons, mummies, and floating copper coins? Not sure that they make sense being here. I really didn’t get anything of note until I got 500 gold in what seemed to be a dead end. The skulls looked suspicious and I zoomed in to see if any of them sparkled. Sure enough, one did that led deeper into the cave.

There was a cutscene with a woman walking further into the cave. Ingus recognized her as Princess Sara and stopped her. She then went on to say that she came to defeat Dijinn, how did she get here anyway? There wasn't a boat outside. Did she actually swim in her dress? Now that's determination! She joined my party, but not as a combatant. There were new and more difficult enemies now, such as shadows, which pretty much looked like skeletons, and larva, which looked like an eyeball in a horizontal tornado. I found some Eye Drops and an Antarctic Wind. Sara said that Dijinn was weak to ice based attacks so the Antarctic Wind may come in handy. I also had Refia learn blizzard.

I finally caught up with Dijinn, who didn’t look like what I pictured him to be. He looked like a stereotypical genie. Dijinn was one tough cookie. Before Dijinn or I did anything, Sara wanted to be the center of attention and said something along the lines of, “I can do something too!” She cast aero, did only 30 or so damage, then left, never to be seen again for the remainder of the battle. On the first turn, Dijinn targeted and attacked Ingus twice, thus killing him. I then changed my strategy. Ingus would always block since he was currently deadweight. Refia and Arc would attack normally, but I would have Refia cast blizzard occasionally. Luneth would be the healer and attack when healing wasn’t necessary. After a while, Dijinn went down and I earned a bunch of gold.

Revisitation Galore, some voluntarily and some involuntarily, and Damn Good News[]

Sara sealed Dijinn, but my party turned transparent. We were transported and I easily recognized the room. It was Altar Cave and where the blue crystal was. You could guess what was going to happen. The four of us just happened to be the Warriors of Light. Now I am supposed to go to other crystals across the world and collect their light. I then wait like 5 minutes as they do the credits.

A random Moogle came in and gave me great news. I can now change jobs! Finally! I didn’t do that right away though. I first went to Sasune Castle where Sara was waiting for us. She took us to some “blessed” water, or something, inside the castle and threw the ring in which lifted everyone, including Kazus, from the curse. I don’t understand why she didn’t do it earlier. We didn’t have to be there for her to throw the ring. We then went to the king when Luneth told him that we were the Warriors of Light rather nonchalantly. What a naïve fool that graying boy is. The king then tells one of his knights to give us something. The knight hands us something that Luneth was holding in his hands; a canoe? It wasn’t receiving the canoe that was weird, but since when is a canoe something that you hold in your hands?

I made my way to Kazus where Takka, Refia's father, was pacing back and forth, worrying about his daughter. They have their moment, then Takka tells her that they should get back to work now, what a loving father, and Refia chases him.

I go to the inn, where I see Cid in his real form. He is older and plumper than I imagined him to be. He said that I could keep his airship, but I needed to take him home, whose path was blocked by a boulder. I went to Takka's place and Cid asked if Takka could add mithril to the hull, which he did.

I left and went to the airship. Refia was there when we got there and she said that she was coming. Soon, everyone revealed themselves as orphans. I guess my joke about an orphan scavenger hunt turned out to be true.

I decided that now was the perfect time to change jobs. Luneth was now a thief, Arc a monk, Refia a red mage, and Ingus a warrior. I then went back to Kazus where I bought some mithril gear for everyone. I also had Refia learn cure. I was then ready to proceed forward and smash the boulder.

Current Levels Update 2[]

Luneth:

  • Character Level- 10
  • Job Level- 1 Thief

Arc:

  • Character Level- 10
  • Job Level- 1 Monk

Refia:

  • Character Level- 10
  • Job Level- 1 Red Mage

Ingus:

  • Character Level- 8
  • Job Level- 1 Warrior

Canaan, a missing man, and a mountain with a F****** Dragon![]

I smashed the boulder, but the airship was destroyed in the process. What the hell Cid? Was this your ploy from the beginning? A little scene came up, but it may have dropped a hint. Luneth claimed that he felt that he had been through that before. Could it have something to do with the state his father was in when he was dropped off? Was the supposed crash then? I fought some familiar enemies, but Cid jumped in and used Fira, or some form of fire spell at least. A lot more effective than Sara, though she was in a boss battle.

I headed south to Canaan. Cid left my party, but told me to meet King Argus about a new airship. I better get one too. I was promised one after all. I was disappointed with the inn because they now started to charge me. I went into the building connected to the inn. Some girl/woman was lying in bed, sick from worrying about a man named Desch who left because he had something he had to do. Refia, being a sympathetic woman, suggested that we find this man. I also found a Mallet here.

Up north was Cid's house. His wife was sick in his absence, but she only needs an Elixir, obviously something that I happen to not have. Going east, I found another dancer girl like the one in Ur. This one had red/pink hair, but did the same dance. What is their purpose? I went north and found some stairs and shallow water. I followed the shallow path to a treasure chest that happened to have an Elixir.

I traveled back to Cid's house and gave his wife the Elixir. Cid then told me to push the lamp and a path leading downstairs opened up. Down there, I found some good items, such as Blind spell and 4000 gold. I headed out of Canaan to find Desch at Dragon's Peak.

The first enemies that I fought were flying devil/manta rays. On a mountain? I was soon relieved to fight some condors next, you know, creatures that make sense with their environment. I encountered many back attacks, meaning you were caught by surprise, and the mother f****** were actually tough to defeat. I found some items, most notably an Aero spell, when a cutscene came up. A dragon (on Dragons Peak? Nonsense!) came and swooped us up and took us to its nest where its hungry babies were as well as a random dude. This guy happened to be Desch.

The dragon, Bahamut, came to attack us, but Desch said that it was best to leave. Regardless, a battle ensued. I tried attack it, but I failed to do any damage. It then beat the f*** out of Luneth and I came to the conclusion that this was one of those "can't win" battles, so I fled. Apparently fleeing is actually just moving 10 feet away from the battle. The dragon could easily still kill me, but that would be logical and that's not Square Enix's M.O. Desch revealed to us that he had lost his memory, gave us a Mini spell, and joined our party, much like Sara and Cid. We then jumped thousands of feet down below.

The Not-So-Fun Adventures of being small[]

After defying everything known to man by surviving the fall, we found ourselves on the opposite side of the mountain, thus not being able to return to Canaan. I went into some woods where a lone gnome was. He gave us a Mini spell and told us how to get to his town of Tozus. I left the woods and made everyone small and searched every square inch until I finally discovered Tozus.

If you magnified what was in the grass, that is what Tozus looked like, except there were buildings and such. I entered the only building on the northwest side of town. There were some good items like Cura, Fira,, a Fire Staff, and Mithril Bracers. There was also a woman, I think, who lying down in bed that wanted an antidote, which I had on me. She was the town physician, Shelco, and she thanked me by revealing a path that would take me to where the vikings live, called Tozus Tunnel. I first looked around town, but there was nothing important and I left through the path. Because I was still small, the enemies were out of my league and I had to run. I eventually made it out, became large again, and entered Viking's Cove.

I made my way around the viking's base and found their leader. He offered me their remaining ship, The Enterprise, if I took care of a dragon that was haunting them. I then left the cove from the northern side.

I saw the ship, but I decided to explore first. I headed north to find some ancient shrine. Inside, I found a statue with only one of the two eye sockets having a ruby. Arc suggested that we become small again, damnit, and go inside the mouth of the statue.

I was a bit angry that I had to run away from rats, caterpillars, and hedgehogs. They were enemies that I could crush with my shoes if I wasn't small. I found a Serpent Sword and another Fire Staff, but since I was small, they were largely useless for the time being.

Eventually I found a GIANT rat that was guarding the other ruby eye and I had to fight it. All I did was have Refia use Blizzard, and have Arc, Luneth, and Ingus alternate each turn for one to guard, one to use a potion, and one to use a black magic spell item. Occasionally, Desch came in and used Thundara, which was actually helpful. The rat eventually went down and I took the ruby eye. On my way back, I found some Shell Armor and Helm.

Afraid that if I placed the eye back to where it belonged, a boss fight would trigger, I just left the temple to head back to Viking's Cove. I went to the inn to heal and I found some good stuff. I found a Spark Dagger, Blizzara, Fira, Thundara, 3000 gold, and a Viking's Axe. I gave the shell stuff and Spark Dagger to Luneth, Viking Axe and Serpent Sword to Ingus, and the Fire Staff to Refia.

Current Levels Update 3[]

Luneth:

  • Character Level- 11
  • Job Level- 8 Thief

Arc:

  • Character Level- 11
  • Job Level- 8 Monk

Refia:

  • Character Level- 11
  • Job Level- 8 Red Mage

Ingus:

  • Character Level- 10
  • Job Level- 7 Warrior

Wandering, more wandering, and then BAM, true progress[]

I went back to Nepto Temple and placed the eye back. The soul of the dragon, or whatever it was, spoke to us and knew that we were the Warriors of Light. He said that by placing the eye back, he could control his physical form. He also gave me the Fang of Water.

I went back to Viking's Cove and I was officially given ownership of The Enterprise. I navigated to Canaan, thinking I needed to drop Desch off, but I was wrong. He still had a quest to complete that he couldn't remember. I found a random town while sailing called Tokkul and I went in hoping that that was supposed to be my next destination.

I tried talking to two old men, but they made it seem like I was the spawn of Satan and ran like the dickens, despite possibly being 80. I found a few items lying around, like an Ice Staff and Bacchus's Cider. There were only like two buildings that I could actually enter. One of the was the home of possibly the town elder. He said that soldiers come and steal goods and able-bodied people from them. He requested my help. I went into the fireplace, no typo, and found a Kenpo Gi, could have spelled it wrong, Sonic Knuckles, and another Serpent Sword. I equipped Refia with the Ice Staff and Arc with the Kenpo Gi.

In the other house, a kid ran into the fireplace as soon as I arrived. I followed him, but his mother stopped me, blocking my path. She mistook me for the soldiers and said that her husband was taken. She continued to stand in my way. That pretty much says that something is important behind her, but I have to deal with her crap first. I left Tokkul to find these soldiers in the desert.

I spent almost 10 minutes walking around the desert, fighting enemies, and cursing the floating thing that I had no airship to reach, before I came to the conclusion that there wasn't anything that I could do here. I went further to the west and I stumbled upon a chocobo forest. I got one and soon realized that there was a village directly west of the forest. I ordered the chocobo to let me the f*** down and I entered the Village of the Ancients. I talked to everyone, but nothing progressed the story. I did buy a Headband as to not make this a wasted effort and left.

I went back to the boat to explore a bit more and found what seemed to be a castle a little to the north. It was Argus Castle. I found over 7000 gold, several kinds of arrows, books of fire/ice/light, a Killer Bow, and a Scholar's Robe. Unfortunately, nobody was there, so I was unsatisfied for two reasons. One was that I didn't steal any of the goods in the presence of others. The other was that I still lacked an airship because of King Argus not being there.

I headed west and found a cave that was Gulgan Gulch. The inhabitants here were all blind, but they could "see" into the future. The chief gave us the spell toad, which I had Refia learn, and said that Desch's destiny awaits at the Tower of Owen. Finally! I now have a legitimate lead in my quest. I found more mage crap and I went looking for the Tower of Owen, which was northeast of here.

Feelings of (minor) Melancholy[]

The first room looked like I was in a sewer until I reached a part where Desch said we needed to turn into toads. Refia insisted that we give up on our mission to save the world because she loathed the thought of being a toad, the dumb b****. I changed us into toads and changed us right back to normal in the next scene. Toads? Miniature? What's with all these useless spells that I only use because of obstacles? Now it looked like we were in a clock tower. From time to time, a random voice spoke to us, telling us to leave or we will meet our doom. I found some Flame Mail, a Spark Dagger, a Salamander Sword, and some insignificant items.

I eventually met up with what seemed to be a normal woman, until she turned around and revealed herself to be the illustrious Medusa. When the battle screen popped up, her head was 10 times larger and she seemed to have lost her body in under 5 seconds. I got my ass kicked the first time. I decided to level up each character a few levels and fought her again. I schooled her.

Desch finally regained his memory. He was an ancient who was in charge of guarding the Tower of Owen. He obviously didn't do so well. The continent was going to shoot up to the sun, I think, due to some energy override in the tower. Desch then decided to sacrifice himself to save everyone, saying that it was his destiny. He told us that the Power of Fire is at Dwarven Isle. He then jumped into the incinerator-like thing and we were transported back to The Enterprise. A nearby whirlpool disappeared, allowing us to explore more of the world. Refia sounded a bit skeptical as to if Desch really died.

Current Levels Update 4[]

Luneth:

  • Character Level- 20
  • Job Level- 35 Thief

Arc:

  • Character Level- 20
  • Job Level- 27 Monk

Refia:

  • Character Level- 20
  • Job Level- 21 Red Mage

Ingus:

  • Character Level- 20
  • Job Level- 14 Soldier

Feelings of (EXTREME) Annoyance[]

I truly had no clue where I was going. I found some cave to the west and decided to enter it. It was Molten Cave and I could barely take a step in before giant flames prevented me from going further, so I left.

There was another cave just south of it. It was called Dwarven Hollows and that sure sounds like the place that Desch was talking about. The dwarves kept going on about a stolen horn. I bought some Ice Helms and Armor. After investigating a bit more, the thief was named Gutsco and he stole the Horn of Ice and fled to an underground lake. Going deeper into the cave, I found the lake in question. I turned into a toad and went under the water.

Once reaching the Subterranean Lake, I went back to being normal. It looked pretty much like what you would expect from an underwater cave. There was an old enemy here, the Bomb. All of the other enemies that I encountered at least made some sense, like mermen, sea devils, and stalagmites. My main find was 6000 gold. I came up to a pile of gold and treasure chests when I met up with Gutsco. He was being paranoid and attacked us.

Like Medusa, he looked nothing like his appearance outside of battle. He was our size then, but he was now buff and much larger than us. He was annoying as hell. I could handle all of his attacks except when he cast mini. I only had a few Mallets and Refia was my only mage. I had to change battle strategies frequently when someone needed to be healed and someoned needing to be enlarged on the same turn. I had all the guys use physical attacks since they were effective.

Eventually, I beat him and I recovered the Horn of Ice. Gutsco simply disappeared into thin air and Arc acknowledged that, but he quickly let it go. I was walking a bit when I saw a shadow following me, which I figured was Gutsco. I teleported out of the lake, but the shadow was still following me, I headed back to Dwarven Hollow to return the horn.

The mystery of the shadow was finally solved, but my hypothesis was unfortunately correct. The elder took down the invisible barrier. When I put down the horn on its pedestal, Gutsco laughed and revealed himself as the shadow, which I figured from the beginning, so he was praising himself for nothing. He also took both horns. God dammit! I just went through all the trouble getting it back and now he steals BOTH of them. The horns are for reaching the fire crystal, and he wants to harness its power.

The inhabitants kept spitting out 3 different locations. One was a shrine to the north. Another was a cave to the north, which I figured was Molten Cave and the location I should go to. The last one was the town of Gysahl. I felt like exploring the shrine and Gysahl first. I was unable to find the shrine, but I did find Gysahl, on the opposite side of the map nonetheless. The town had a bizarre musical theme. Chocobos were their specialty, but I found that hard to believe. The town was surrounded by a river and mountains. What use were chocobos there? I found some magic keys, which were useless since Luneth was a thief, and some Gysahl Greens, which I didn't intend to use. Nothing else of note happened and I headed for Molten Cave.

After searching around a bit in Molten Cave, I came to the conclusion that I must travel through the lava. I fought some tortoises, dog-like creatures, and lion-like creatures, of which all 3 aren't known to live in lava, but then again, it is remarkable that I can too. At least they looked somewhat intimidating, although it was very minimal, because the next two enemies I fought were called Balloon and Red Marshmellow, and they didn't even live up to their name. I found a ton of items, but none were very important.

I reached what seemed to be a dead end, but like in Altar Cave, there was an obviously out-of-place rock. which meant a hidden path. I eventually met up with the Fire Crystal and Gutsco. He said that we must die for him to gain the power. He slowly approaches us and a screen pops up indicating that he was attacking us like it wasn't obvious.

I don't know how or why, but he was suddenly a dragon. When did this happen? I was incredibly disappointed. Just to see what he was capable of, I had everyone use physical attacks and I did around 1000 total damage to him and all he did was two physical attacks totaling 150 damage or so. I kept doing the same thing for 5 turns and he died. I never healed and he used a full party fire attack only once.

He died and I got the Horns of Ice back. The Fire Crystal then gave me its power and I used the portal to leave the cave.

Chosen One? Maybe you should act like one[]

I returned the horns to the dwarves and I was given a magic key. What an insult! I have a f****** thief moron. He also gave me access to their treasure room. There were only two notable things, though one wasn't exactly a good thing. There were Gauntlets, of which Ingus equipped, and an Ottershroom. Who came up with that name and how?

Upon attempting to leave, some random dude comes up and collapses. He was from Tokkul and said that it needed our help. It is to be burned and we need the help from a scholar, whoever that is. I presume that he died after talking. I decided to not give a damn about the scholar part and made my way to Tokkul.

My stay in Tokkul was short as I was dropped almost immediately by an unknown source, but true chosen ones shouldn't fall for something like that. Soldiers approached our unconscious bodies and talked about Castle Hein and being slaves there. We awoke in some cells. Another fellow prisoner said we were in some giant tree that was manipulated to become a fortress.

I now found King Argus and I guess these guys are his knights. Hein, whose men captured us and were responsible for the attacks on Tokkul, was a former advisor under Argus. He apparently changed after some earthquake and was enveloped in darkness and became corrupt and lustful for power. His soldiers are actually Argus soldiers that were brainwashed.

I was walking from cell to cell, talking to the knights, when one came out and said that he had to kill me. Uh, ok? He turned out to be a demon. I had no problem dispatching his ass. In the last cell, a man/woman was laying on the ground and gave me a Mini spell before dying. I made ourselves mini and went into the nearby hole.

It is now official, this is a dungeon. I encountered a pharaoh and a lemur, but don't worry, Square Enix made sure that they didn't look anything like their names. The only useful thing I found was 9000 gil. I just came to the realization that the currency is gil and not gold. If I recall correctly, gil has always been the currency in Final Fantasy games and I should have remembered that.

I finally caught up with Hein, who was a skeleton, though I am not sure I understand where that came from. Despite his appearance, he was challenging. Only Arc was effective as an attacker and Hein constantly used status effect spells. Throughout the course of the battle, he used blind, poison, and sleep, and by doing so caused chaos. Refia used some sort of cure spell almost every turn. Luneth and Ingus used status effect healing items when needed and attack for a measly 100 damage or so. After several turns, the long and grueling battle came to a close.

Hein died and the tree that we were in began to speak to us. It transported everyone where they belonged, except us, as we were taken to the Living Woods where I was given the Fang of Wind by some fairies. The tree old us that we must leave to the surface world, which he may have also called the world of darkness, but I can't remember. The overworld came up and I was at an unknown place and had no idea where to go next.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side[]

I went to Tokkul to see if that woman is still blocking that pathway. The two old men near the entrance didn't run away this time. I got to the room where that woman was and there was f****** nothing. You have got to be pulling my leg! If this was an Elder Scrolls game, you bet your ass that I would have slaughtered the entire family for deceiving me and then use their house as one giant storage room.

Hoping for better results, I went to Castle Argus since the king should be able to help me with an airship. He gave me the Wheel of Time and told me to go to Cid for the rest.

I went to Canaan and Cid turned The Enterprise into a hybrid vehicle. It can also fly now. Cid then tells us that we can go back to our world now. He revealed to us that the five of us aren't from this world. It was 10 years ago that Cid was piloting an airship when it was engulfed in darkness and it crashed. The five of us were the only survivors. We must now find out what has become of our world. I am to fly beyond the continent to reach our world.

I left the continent and the new location was bizarre. It was vast and empty as well as incredibly dark. There were only 3 islands showing up. I didn't mean to, but I attempted to land my airship and it actually worked. This dark matter was actually water. I found an island with a structure that look like a temple and I went inside.

It was the Water Temple. I went into the furthest room, but a magical blockade prevented me from touching the crystal. I went to the cave behind the temple, the Cave of Tides. I fought some frogs and two-headed otters, they sure could take a beating. They had to have had around 1000 HP each. I was soon stopped by a door with a barrier just like the one in the temple. I traveled to the northern island and off its shore was a sunken ship and I decided to check it out.

The Wrecked Ship probably has the best music to this point. I found some Blood Swords and Zeus's Wrath as well as human lifeforms. What business would they have on a sunken ship? Some old man was babbling about how this girl named Aria, who was on a nearby bed, was very sick. How many times have I helped sick women in the game so far? I gave her an antidote first and that worked. She woke up and was glad to know that we were the Warriors of Light and wished to help us. She then joined out party.

I went back to the Water Temple and went to the podium with the barrier and crystal. Aria didn't do a spell nor were there any special effects. She was casually walked up and grabbed the Crystal Shard and came back to us. It was time to head back to the Cave of Tides.

Things never seem to go my way...ever[]

Aria opened up the door that I was unable to earlier. During a battle in which chameleons claimed to be cockatrices, Aria came in and cast protect on everyone. I am hoping I have a boss battle with her in my party because her spell will come in handy. I found a Blizzaga spell.

We eventually reached the crystal room. Aria did her thing and said that we needed to do our part. Out of the blue, she pushed us out of the way and was hit by something that wasn't made clear. A random creature popped out of nowhere. It claimed the be the legendary Kraken, but it really looked like Death with tentacles sticking out and a pinkish/purple cloak.

It mentioned a new name, Lord Xande. It was hired by this guy to steal the light from the crystals. Was Medusa also a part of this plan? Much like Medusa, its in-battle appearance was so much different. It looked like a demon with tentacles. Like Medusa, it kicked my ass the first time. All of its attacks, blind spell/blizzard spell/physical attack, were nothing to sneeze at. I grinded a bit before coming back and I was victorious.

I rushed to Aria who said that she needed to bless us with the power of water. Everyone was still for like 3 seconds until a screen popped up stating that we were blessed with the power. Square Enix couldn't have made it remotely look like we acquired an important power? She then dies and an earthquake occurs.

The screen went black and showed a scene of land rising to the surface of the water, including a town in perfect condition. The screen went black again except Luneth's unconscious body and a strange elderly woman. Some voice told me to seek out Doga to help defeat Xande on the continent of Dalg.

Luneth regained consciousness and was surrounded by Arc, Refia, and Ingus. Arc told him that they were in the City of Water, Amur, and that old guy from the sunken ship found us and brought us here.

Amur, the town that poses more questions than it answers[]

I gained some info here in the inn itself:

  • Goldor locked my ship in the dock
  • Goldor has a crystal
  • His mansion is to the south
  • There is a bog before his mansion
  • I need Levigrass Shoes to cross the bog
  • Delilah should have a pair of these

Just who are Goldor and Delilah and where exactly was I? On the top floor of the inn, there was a piano. I began to witness an odd scene. The 6-10 men that were in the room just got up and danced and spun around for what seemed to be 20 seconds. Once I stopped playing, they immediately went back to their seats as if nothing happened.

Outside, I talked to a woman when a group of quadruplets, who all looked like Hound the Clown from Air Bud, came in and claimed to be the Warriors of Light and then stormed off. These quadruplets looked to be in their 40s. Who stays together that long? God what a weird town this is.

I now heard stuff about some sewers and a guy named Gill. I am being overloaded with people and places without knowing how to use this info.

I bought Luneth a Black Cowl and Garb and a pair of Thief Gloves and Arc a Chakra Band and a Black Belt Gi at the armor store. At the weapons store, I purchased two Main Gauches for Luneth and two Battle Axes for Ingus. I gave Ingus's old Royal Sword to Refia.

The next building I went into was Gill's place. He gave me agreed to let me access the sewers, which is where both Delilah and the shoes are located. Those quadruplets were eavesdropping outside and yelled that they will get there first, eager to proved that they are the real deal. Gill then left to unlock the gate to the sewers.

I feel I have to make note of this; a guy north of Gill's house uttered a term I had never heard before and will be stunned if I ever do in real life. "Juicy scuttlebutt". What the hell does that even mean?

I searched around for any items. I found some Thief Gloves, a Black Cowl, and a Black Garb. Seem familiar? Well I just paid a decent amount for those items when I could find some just lying around town. Great. I finally made my way to the sewers.

I had just found some Cat Claws when I stumbled upon a tragic scene. The quadruplets were cornered. By what you say? Frogs, f****** normal sized frogs. If I wasn't forced to fight the frogs, I sure as hell wouldn't have.

After the fight, they finally came to the conclusion that they weren't the Warriors of Light. Really now? What gave you the impression in the first place that you were? You don't even wield a weapon or use magic. What could you possibly do?

I met up with Delilah, who turned out to be the strange woman that was pictured when I was unconscious. She didn't believe that we were the Warriors of Light, but she agreed to give us the shoes. She threw them to us, but while they were in the air, the quadruplets instructed us to get out of the way. Ingus jumped out of the way while the shoes were still in the air and they exploded upon hitting the ground.

The quadruplets then explained that we were the real deal and Delilah gave us the real pair. I had two problems here. How can anybody take what these guys say as credible? They are 4 brothers at least in their 40s, they are f****** named Gramps, who live together and go around pretending to be heroes. Does that not scream psychological issues? The other problem is that I was given one pair? Did this turn out to be a solo mission without my consent?

I was transported back to town and I left for Goldor's place, relieved to leave that strange town.

Current Levels Update 5[]

Luneth:

  • Character- 26
  • Job- 65 Thief

Arc:

  • Character- 26
  • Job- 49 Monk

Refia:

  • Character- 26
  • Job- 31 Red Mage

Ingus:

  • Character- 26
  • Job- 27 Warrior

Paradise, for most people, and then Paul Simon's paradise[]

I did some exploring first and I began to realize some previous events. Up north was the Water Temple. That means that the rest of this land was the land that rose from under the sea. Why was it hidden in the first place?

I decided to head south to Goldor when I fought a creature with quite possibly the worst name in the game, Hellgaroo. It was an evil kangaroo. Are you serious?

Upon reaching there, I found that Goldor was a pun. Everything in his home was made of gold, including the enemies, like Gold Bear and Gold Eagle. I seriously had no idea where I was going and was wandering around until I met up with a knight in golden armor, Goldor. We fought soon after.

He was pathetically easy. I beat him in 3 turns without healing. Like Gutsco, he was obsessed with a particular object, this one being a crystal. Goldor made it seem that this was the crystal I was looking for, but I figured it was just gold. He broke it, I think, and then he disappeared. On my way back out, I found some treasure chests, 11 of which held 11 Gold Swords. I then left Goldor's Edifice.

I went back to where The Enterprise was locked up and took off on it. Unfortunately, I had no clue where to take it. There was an island to the east, but nothing was there. I went to the smallest of the 3 continents, which is southwest of the continent I was just on, but a strong gust of wind prevented me from going far. There were a pair of islands near the middle sized continent, which was northwest of everything, and a village was on one.

It was Duster and it was the town of bards. Almost everybody I talked to responded with music and a song. Would Paul Simon love this place or what? I only bought a Rune Bracer for Refia and left.

I found a cave on the southern part of the nearby continent called Unei's Shrine, but I couldn't do much. There was a woman sleeping in a bed on an altar and a parrot said that Unei was guarding the world of dreams and nothing could wake her, so I left.

I found another city on the northern part called Replito. Like Duster, this was also a specialty town, this time in summoning. The villagers talked about Noah, the model summoner, but he passed away some time ago.

Two things caught my attention when speaking to the villagers:

  • Noah's apprentice is currently going through an eternal slumber, which sounded like Unei, or whoever that woman was in the shrine.
  • Noah summoned Bahamut, which I believe was the dragon I fought on Dragon's Peak.

I bought some Hi-Potions and left.

The Big and Surprisingly Empty region of Saronia Part I[]

I found this gigantic walled region to the east. As I approached what appeared to be a castle, my airship was hit by something and was shot down.

Saronia was what this place was called. I started to head for the castle when there were two different colored troops on opposite sides of the road, bickering at each other. I wasn't allowed in the castle so I left for the northeast town.

It was appropriately named Northeast Saronia. I found out that the king is the source of all the problems. He personally divided the troops into two groups and made them fight each other. I also heard that the king has a new adviser called Gigameth. If that isn't an evil name, then I don't know what is. I found an elixir and left.

Southeast Saronia was next. I heard some more news about some treasure and that the prince was expelled. After talking with everyone, I went inside the monster-ridden Dragon Spire in the middle of town.

Dragon's Spire, the home of giant worms, monkeys with spikes, flying bulls, and kangaroos that cast magic, essentially anything that isn't a dragon. It is structured like the towers at Castle Sasune. I found a lot of dragoon gear, but tha was it though, no boss or anything.


The Big and Surprisingly Empty region of Saronia Part II[]

I then left for Southwest Saronia. I went to some researcher's house and he conjured up a random, large chocobo who seemed to be asleep, for its entire existence. I could use it for item storage, but I elected not to.

I walked into another building, could have been a bar, when a group of look-alikes were harassing a boy. We intervened and were attacked. They were guards/soldiers for Saronia, but they were horribly weak. The harassed party was none other than the exiled prince of Saronia, Alus. I learned that the king's name was Gorn. All the gossip around town was true and he asked for my help and joined my party.

Outside, some guy who like a caretaker of Alus gave us a Wind Spear and another gave us Dragon Mail.

I left for Northwest Saronia, but I pretty much did nothing and decided to head back to the castle.

Because we had Alus, we were allowed into the castle, where we spent the night. However, during our sleep, King Gorn came in and made an attempt on Alus's life, sort of. He had the open stab, but he hesitated and ended up stabbing himself. He had been under Gigameth's spell, whose appearance is indescribable, at least I can't put it to words.

Gigameth was disappointed and decided to take matters into his own hands and kill everyone in the room. He then revealed himself to actually be a Garuda, which was a pain for me in FFXII outside the Tomb of King Raithwall.

This was arguably my toughest battle yet, though logic would tell you that is should be regardless. Garuda's lightning attack was devastating. so Refia had to heal every turn or things would get ugly. Arc was good for 1500 damage each turn and Ingus for around 1000. Luneth would be my second "healer" as he would use items when necessary or otherwise attack.

It took 5 turns, but every single member of my party ended up with less than 100 HP, so another lightning attack would be game over. I remember the townspeople talking about how Saronia is known for dragoons, so maybe that was a hint that I should have changed to that class for this battle, but things worked out in the end.

Gorn told us Gigameth's plan and then he died from his wounds. Alus thanked us and said he would take his father's seat on the throne.

Finishing up in Saronia and one of the most pointless "dungeons" you will ever encounter[]

We were still in the castle when I could move around freely and I headed up to the throne room when I talked to some guy that made another reference to Noah. This was about a lute being in the Temple of Time. Could this be what I need to wake Unei?

In a building just outside the castle, I talked to some engineers and they restored and ancient airship called The Nautilus. They claimed that it could withstand the wind on Dalg. Even more interesting news that I found out at the building next door was that Noah had 3 apprentices. Besides Unei, there was Doga, whom I remember I need to see from that dream/telepathic message. The other was Xande (and the plot now thickens).

After hearing about the treasure room, I just had to rob the palace. I ended up finding a bunch of weapons and armor that wasn't good enough for any of my crew members (Rusty Mail? Seriously?).

I left Saronia briefly to test The Nautilus. It is mega fast, but I miss the ability to sail on the water. The Nautilus can go underwater and act as a submarine though. It was time that I check out that library in Saronia that was often mentioned.

After reading everything, two things caught my attention:

  • One was a series of books about Desch and his father. What were they exactly researching and what is their connection to Saronia?
  • The other was just one book, but it talked about a dark blade. What is the dark blade?

I left Saronia and headed for Dalg. The only building I saw must have been Doga's Manor and I headed inside.

It didn't take long for Doga to notice me and he had his guards try and seize me. Much to my surprise, his guards were moogles. I was hoping they would attack me so I could annihilate them. Alas, they didn't and Doga appeared in person. He realized that we were the Warriors of Light and he talked about what Noah passed on to his apprentices, which explains why Xande is doing what he is doing. He then joined my party. We are to go to the Cave of the Circle, for who knows what. I went to his study and touched a sparkling candle that led to another room. I made ourselves mini to fit in a hole in the room and went inside.

Damnit, another strickly mini area! I can't damage anything wheh miniature and using magic is a hassle and wouldn't be worth it. I had to flee my way, which was only 3 rooms.

In the last room, Doga gave The Nautilus the ability to go underwater. Damn researchers misled me. I thought I already had that ability. We are to go to the Temple of Time and get Noah's Flute to wake Unei. Doga will find the key to Eureka, whatever or wherever that is. By waking Unei, she should help us find the ship The Invincible. We were then teleported to outside his manor. I was still unsure why we had to go through those three rooms for Doga to give me the new ability, at least I don't think he explained his reasoning

Trying out The Nautilus while still being productive[]

I decided to try The Nautilus's new ability. It is slow as molasses underwater. My god does it take forever to move around. I eventually reached a dead end while wandering aimlessly and I came to the surface. I was surprised to find a town that was surrounded by mountains. I decided to check it out.

It was Doga's Village. It was essentially one large magic shop, but there wasn't anything that I needed to purchase so I left.

I didn't know where this temple was so I just went exploring. I found a cave west of Saronia called the Ancient Ruins, but I couldn't go far until a boulder blocked me, so I left. I decided to look underwater for anything. My best bet was to search around Unei's Shrine. Immediate as I submerged, I landed on top of a temple and was automatically placed inside. It was the Temple of Time.

Enemies weren't as easy as they usually are. The gap between enemies and I had shrunk. They either hit for a substantial amount or they took a lot, luckily not a combination of both. It was really just one giant treasure hoard. I found a bunch of diamond-based armor and a few good weapons, like a Defender.

I eventually found Noah's Lute, and that was it. There wasn't a boss fight nor was the temple going to collapse. I felt like I didn't deserve the hold the lute without actually doing something for it.

I went back to Unei's Shrine and I was successful in waking her up. She said that we must get The Invincible, which has the ability to go over select mountains, at the Ancient Ruins. She then joined my party and gave me the Fang of Fire. I also found out that she was the one who was speaking to me when I was unconscious after fighting Kraken.

It was only a matter of time before I would become sidetracked Part I[]

I went to Saronia to rest up and restock some items when I was talking to someone who talked about something under Saronia. That made me flashback to a room around the treasure room in Saronia where I saw another room that I couldn't access. A knight said that the path had been sealed, but an alternative path existed. I decided to search for this. While underwater, I found a cave just south of Saronia and I went in.

I was in the Saronia Catacombs. Enemies were massive and loaded with HP, but all of my party members could hit for over 1000 and Luneth and Arc would consistently hit for 2500+, so it wasn't a problem. The only good items I found were several Elixirs and Phoenix Downs, but I had to fight an enemy in order to claim the item. I eventually found my way to the sealed off room in Saronia Castle where some Paldin named Odin b****ed at me for disturbing his slumber and attacked me.

I was kicking his ass, large in part to Unei casting Haste on us so we would always attack first. He had 2 attacks per turn and I managed by having Refia use Cura and Ingus use a Hi-Potion every turn while Arc and Luneth attacked normally.

Out of nowhere, he did some spell with a weird spelling and decimated my entire party to absolute nothing. I trained a little bit before challenging him again. I did beat him with pretty much the same strategy as before, except Refia and Luneth died at one point, so I had to revive them and get back in sync.

Odin disappeared and recognized us as the Warriors of Light and we were given the summoning spell Catastre. Too bad I don't have a summoner right now.

It was only a matter of time before I would become sidetracked Part II (also some important foreshadowing)[]

I decided to explore some more and see if there was anything else of note on the ocean bed. After searching for a long time, I found another cave on the southeastern part of the world and went inside.

Sunken Cave was the name and I am not quite sure that it makes sense. EXP galore here though. Enemies offered way more EXP than the effort I put into killing them. The enemies were pretty standard underwater creatures, but some of the names made me chuckle and I don't know why. They were Sea Witch, Killer Hermit, and Kelpie, which was as pathetic as its name.

I did find a ton of items, about 20, but none of them mattered as much as the Trident. Will I use it? Probably not, but if I ever do, I will take great pride knowing that I ended the life of something with a Trident.

I did a side conversation with Unei and I learned something interesting. Xande couldn't have created the earthquakes. Someone or something was responsible for them. My obvious thought is, "Who or what is behind them?" I left the cave and went back to the Ancient Ruins.

Current Levels Update 6[]

Luneth:

  • Character- 40
  • Job- 99 Thief

Arc:

  • Character- 39
  • Job- 74 Monk

Refia:

  • Character- 39
  • Job- 42 Red Mage

Ingus:

  • Character- 39
  • Job- 35 Warrior

A New Asset, which unfortunately leads to arguably the worst part of the game[]

Unei was able to clear the boulders from before. This was a sort of town for the engineers here, which happened to be infested with monsters. That's my kind of town! **** was getting quite expensive now. One piece of equipment or weapon would take over 10% of my gil stash, so I decided to pass, for now. I found a bunch of armor and weapons that I had already possessed. After a long series of rooms, I finally made it to The Invincible, a luxurious ship. It has the four kind of shops, beds, and even its very own fat chocobo.

Unei had to leave to rejoin Doga and she instructed us to go to the Cave of Shadows to collect the final fang, the Fang of Earth. After doing that, I should head back to Doga's Manor so that the two of them can give us something. Even though Unei told me where the Cave of Shadows was, I wasn't paying enough attention and had no idea where to go. I decided to just search around. I was on Saronia's continent when I tried out The Invincible's unique feature and found a town that I couldn't reach before, Falgabard.

This was the town of dark knights. I learned that the Cave of Shadows is north of Amur, but I decided to finish scoping out this place. On a small island in the town, I found some Demon-based armor and a Blessed Hammer. There was a cave in the waterfall in the northern part of town and I fought a shinobi here for ownership of a Kiku-Ichimonji. There was another cave in town and I found stuff that I found earlier in this very town. There was nothing else to do so I left.

Getting to the cave was tedious and annoying, I had to constantly go up and down through mountains. Square Enix even had the nerve to make this a maze. Clearly, no fun was to be had here. I sighed in relief when I finally made it and went inside.

The cave with an unexplainable appearance and mixing up the party once again[]

It is kind of weird that there are bones everywhere. They aren't human bones either, they are too big, so it made me question what were they and what was responsible for all the bones. A dying black knight gave me a Kotetsu, but I already had like 3.Occasionally, I didn't kill an enemy in one hit and they split themselves into two, but their cunning little ploy didn't change the outcome of the fight. They still had their ass handed to them.

I came across a room that was littered with passages hidden in the dark and some of those led to dead ends, so it took me some time to reach the end. I found a bunch of Genji related gear during this time.

I came across two gigantic sets on bones that I used their spinal cord as a bridge. Whatever did this to them must be pretty beastly. I found the Fang of Earth. However, my party decided to just sit and stare at it and talk about it for a while. Once they finally had the decency to pick it up, they were attacked by a shadow, and they deserved it if you ask me.

And by shadow, Square Enix meant something along the lines of Satan, which had a German/ Eastern European name. Fortunately, it was slow as f***. When it swung its sword, any person with some sort of reflex would have realistically dodged it, but my party lacked that "skill," and I have a thief. It hit me for around 500 HP, which wasn't that bad, about 25% of my health, yet Luneth and Refia managed to die. How in the hell can that slow ass motherf***** attack before my thief? Luneth, you are a disgrace.

When the battle ended and the gil/EXP screen popped up, I couldn't help but laugh a little at how they made the dead bodies looked like, but I was still stunned over the outcome. Refia and Luneth, repeat after me. "Mmphhmphh, I'm dead!"

The reason for the presence of skeletons was never stated. I guess it was for intimidation looks.

Instead of heading to Doga's Manor, I decided to check out something I saw earlier when going to the Cave of Shadows. I came across some statues that were just sitting there, which if I recall correctly, had something to do with the fangs and Xande. One by one, the statues began disappearing as I touched them. The Invincible could now move beyond this point and there was this gigantic wall with a large crystal tower inside.

The wall was its own thing called Ancient's Maze. I took a straight path and found the Earth Crystal. Even though the rest of this area is probably more like its name suggests, I was disappointed it was this easy coming across such a major object. I had to fight something that looked exactly like the creature in the Cave of Shadows, but this had a more simplistic name, Titan. It hit for about twice as hard as the previous one, but for some odd reason, I had essentially no problems and took it down easily.

I learned that the tower inside of the wall is called Syrcus Tower and Xande is inside. I also had access to every job, if I read the manual correctly, and I decided that it was time for a change, though not a major one. It was more like an upgrade.

  • Luneth is now a ninja
  • Arc is now a black belt
  • Refia is now a devout
  • Ingus is now a dragoon

Revisiting the floating continent, the place that everyone has seemed to have forgotten about[]

I wanted to build up my job levels before going back to Doga and Unei. I also had in tow a ship that could go very high and a ship that could go underwater. Maybe there are a few places that I couldn't reach before on the floating continent.

One place did stick in mind, or should I say thing? There was a secluded lake surround by mountains and in the middle was a giant creature's, I assume, shadow under the surface. It's a good thing that I had The Invincible because I needed it to go over some mountains. I took a canoe to the lake and I somehow managed to wind up in a cave. How did that happen?

The cave was called Lake Dohr and not Dohr Cave, a name that would actually make sense. First the random spawning in a cave and now a misleading name. This trip didn't start off on the right foot. A bunch of items were here, but they were useless so I won't bother typing them up.

I had the honor of fighting a sea lion, in the literal terms, with that being its name. Kelpie, as you may recall from a few dungeons back, was also of this type, a f****** poor excuse of an enemy at that.

In the last room, there was a whirlpool in the center with a serpent or dragon-like creature partially sticking out. I wonder what could possibly happen next. Its name was Leviathan. Wasn't that a term in Moby Dick? It was also one ugly ass son of a b****. Take the face of the Pummel Weeds in Kameo and make it more twisted and longing for blood. A fight broke out.

It has such a skinny torso. This is NOT the gigantic monster I saw swimming around earlier. I will give it credit though, it was incredibly annoying. Its physical attacks did around 500 damage, but it caused petrification about a third of the time. I was fortunate to be near full health at one point in the battle because it used a tsunami attack that brought down everyone but Refia's HP to less than 400. I was also fortunate to eliminate it later this turn so it didn't have the possibility to do that again.

I could now use its power in a summoning spell, but I had no plans to become a summoner. I left and I found out that I am unable to return to that cave. I went around the outside perimeter of the floating continent and I found a cave that required The Invincible to access. It was Bahamut;s Lair. Oh s***! I am going to exact my revenge. There were a lot of items, far better than those in Lake Dohr, but Elixirs were the only ones that I would probably end up using.

The big man himself, or herself since I don't know the gender, made an appearance and could actually speak to me, like Leviathan. He/She then challenged me and flew outside.

Boy, did the class changes work. Arc and Luneth hit for heavy damage and I had Ingus jump because it will cause massive damage to a flying creature. I had Refia cast Aeroga. None of this stopped Bahamut from wreaking havoc though. Physical attacks did from 500-1000 damage. The big thing was Mega Flare, which hit everyone for a minimum of 1000 and did over 1700 on Arc. The battle only lasted two turns, but Arc was killed and Luneth and Refia had less than 200 HP. Ingus went unscathed due to jumping.

For my victory, I got a never-going-to-use summoning spell as well as some dignity lost from our previous battle. I couldn't find another use for The Invincible and I didn't feel like searching the entire ocean floor with The Nautilus, so I decided to head back to Doga's Manor.

The Winding Dungeon that packed quite the surprise, in more ways than one[]

A teleportation circle was placed in front of me shortly after entering. It took me to Doga's Grotto. While going down who knows how far, I found 20000 gil and a bunch of now useless items. I finally reached a place where Doga and Unei were waiting for me. They talked about the key to Eureka again. However, the only way to advance further is to defeat them in battle. Great.

I guess I had to fight them one at a time. If there was on fight up to this point where you fought something that looked absolutely nothing like its out-of-battle counterpart, this was it. Doga was full of color, consisting of purple, bright blue, and red. It had a giant long tail, a plump torso, a big head with big eyes, and some weird things dangling from its chin area. I recommend trying to look it up.

His physical attacks did around 500 damage and his elemental attacks varried. Area attacks did 500 each, but individual attacks did 1500. It was easy enough that everyone should have managed to stay alive, but I accidentally had Ingus attempt to run away instead of jumping, which ultimately led to his death.

After defeating Doga, I immediately had to fight Unei. Unfortunately, I wasn't healed from the previous battle, so Ingus was still dead and I had to take care of that right away. Like Doga, her appearance was much different, but didn't stand out as much as Doga's new form. You should also look up this image as well.

She first began by casting self-help spells, so that gave me many free hits on her. Unei put up far more of a fight than Doga though. Her holy based spells hit me for more damage than Doga's spells. Arc and Refia lost their lives, at least I won though.

With Doga's dying breath, he gave me the Eureka Key and told me to go back to where Xande is. He also told what kind of light each of us stood for:

  • Luneth- Courage
  • Arc- Kindness
  • Refia- Affection
  • Ingus- Determination

At least Refia and Ingus had a more uncommon version of a common word, if that phrase makes sense to anyone besides me. Unei then gave us the Syrcus Key and the bodies of both her and Doga disappeared. It was time to go back to the Ancient's Maze

The Deceptive "Maze" and finding out what Eureka actually is[]

It was disappointing to find out that the rest of Ancient's Maze wasn't really a maze either. It was a linear path for the most part. I did find a ton of items, but once again, only Elixirs had some use. Syrcus Tower was just in front of me as I exited the "maze" and went inside. I took a straight path and used a key to unlock Eureka and went inside.

The theme of Eureka sounds the most "Final Fantasy-esque" out of all the previous locations. It also kind of reminded me of those weight containment commercials with the orange furry thing that looks a bit like Gossamer from Looney Toons.

While going through the first part of Eureka, I found some Elixirs and a Ribbon, of which I had to beat a purple ninja to obtain. I also got a Black Hole from the ninja. Who knew that ninjas carried something like this around? Almost immediately, I found some Shurikens. Why the hell didn't the ninja have these on him and instead have a Black Hole? I then examined a floating ring and a boss battle came up.

It was a skeleton dressed up in Native American chief attire. It wasn't too bad. I just hated how infrequent his agility was. One turn he would attack last, then he would attack second or third, though my party can take some of the blame for being disappointments. I managed to keep everyone alive and was rewarded with a Moonring Blade.

I found an Omnirod before I found I sword that I had to win another fight before owning it. It was some woman on her knees, but don't get the wrong idea, she had a sword and was hellbent on piercing every single one of our hearts with it, literally. Even though she had 3 attacks per turn, I had no problems with her. I got a Masamune and I soon found a Phoenix Down.

I found another sword on a stone and had to fight once again. This guy looked like a gladiator and was even named General. That's definitely an omen saying that he will be one tough cookie. Sure enough, he was. Having Refia use protect was essential to my victory as well as General's low defense. After 3 turns, I was rewarded with Excalibur.

Again, another sword, another boss. This guy was pretty much the Jolly Green Giant clad in armor, adept at fisticuffs, and able to levitate. That didn't translate into a good match as 5 hits were all that were needed to take him down. I got the Ragnarok for my "troubles."

I then found not a sword, but a staff covered with moss and s***. I still had to fight for it. All I could think was, "What the hell am I fighting?" Take a centaur. Next, remove the human portion. Then, replace it with a dog with 6-10 heads. Their, if plural is applied here, physical attacks were nothing to sneeze at, but my god was their magic amazing, much to my chagrin. 3000 damage was done to Arc once, which unsurprisingly killed him. They went down in 3 turns though and I got the Elder Staff.

I then found 2 more Elixirs and Shurikens until I found an area that sold things. I finally found where level 8 white magic was sold and Refia has now learned every white magic spell in the game. I realized that this was a dead end and that this whole Eureka thing was an incredibly long side quest. I am not quite sure the magic made it worthwhile. I teleported back to inside the Crystal Tower and went searching for another path.

Ending the Shenanigans Part I[]

The key that Unei gave me opened a door here in the first room. About 80% of the enemies now are former bosses and it seemed like I had gone through dozens of rooms, finding about half a dozen Elixirs.

I came up to a mirror and a voice told me that we were now cursed by the five wyrms. We couldn't move, but Doga's voice could be heard and he said he would get help. He got Sara, Cid, death-defying Desch, Alus, and one of the quadruplets. It is quite laughable at how trusting those five were of a strange man in a cloak. I find it hard to believe that any of them, except maybe Cid, knew who that guy even was. They were transported to where we were and they said that they would hold off the wyrm's power. How did they even know about the wyrms when they were literally just transported?

We too were transported where I finally met Xande face to face. My first thought was that he was the long lost ugly duckling of the TMNT quintuplets. He challenged me to a fight, but he was insanely easy. No explanation needed.

With his dying breath, he said that the Cloud of Darkness was upon us. Sure enough, the Cloud of Darkness appeared and said that the world would return to nothingness. It then fought me and ripped me a new one. The screen went black and Cid and the gang told us not to give up. Doga and Unei gave us their souls so we could fight once again and hopefully save the world.

Ending the Shenanigans Part II[]

I was now in the World of Darkness and snooped around the place. I went through a portal and I found a Ribbon that was guarded by a Xande Clone. I soon had to fight a Cerebus, which had way too much HP for my liking. It was pretty much a "war of attrition" and I held out longer.

I went through another portal and fought another Xande Clone for a Ribbon. Instead of a Cerebus, I fought a weird levitating green ghoul with its tongue sticking out. Same kind of battle as the last one and I wound up on top.

This whole process happened two more times. One of the fights was with a creature that had the shape and color of a lemon, one eye, wings, and a tail. Only Ingus didn't have a Ribbon equipped, so about 50% of the time he was attacked, he was petrified. For those who didn't know, Ribbons nullify all status effects. The last fight was with a two-headed dragon that was incredibly powerful and I almost died, which would have been very frustrating, a few times, but I managed to be on top at the end.

I went through a rather large portal and followed a path until I met up with the Cloud of Darkness once again. Like with Bahamut, I wanted pay back.

This was quite a tough match. The Cloud of Darkness had two tentacles that would attack and the cloud itself, though it looks nothing like a cloud, attacked 2-3 times per turn. Call me an idiot or whatever you like, but by pure accident, I found out that I could target the entire party, in battle, with white magic. Things would have been a hell of a lot easier if I knew that. I just made the game five times harder. Since I had the Ribbons equipped on everyone, the tentacles attacks weren't so bad since their main draw was status effects. The cloud had powerful magic and physical attacks, but I would expect nothing less. Everyone but Refia, it would have been bad news if she did, died at one point or another during the battle. The revelation of being able to target the entire party was essential and it allowed me to be victorious.

After a long scene whose purpose was to convey something that nobody really cares about, I went back to Cid and everybody and started taking people home. It was down to Luneth, Ingus, Sara, Arc, and Refia when we went to Ur. I found it funny how accepting the inhabitants were. Luneth became a f****** ninja and Arc was a black belt. Does nobody have any curiosity as to how that cam about?

I just now figured something out. The "father" who dropped me off at Ur was actually Cid and he was dirty because of the crash. Just a random tidbit.

The five of us were standing around when the dark clouds in the sky disappeared and very bright light was shining down upon us.

Mission Accomplished.

Then rolled the credits.

Current Levels Update 7: The Final Update[]

Luneth:

  • Character- 66
  • Job- 60 Ninja

Arc:

  • Character- 66
  • Job- 64 Black Belt

Refia:

  • Character- 66
  • Job- 50 Devout

Ingus:

  • Character- 66
  • Job- 73 Dragoon
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