A persistent fad started by BlackMageJawa during SC2K5. Based on the Moderator's seconds game from April Fools' Day 2005, the idea was that whenever a newb (ie- anyone who doesn't visit Board 8 during the offseason) made one of those horrible common and annoying "Why is ______ losing , he/she/it is much better than _____" topics, we would look at the seconds of their post time, and post the appopriate response. All of the responses were submitted by Board 8 users prior to the start of the contest.

Previously, users would post not only the phrase, but the seconds as well (for example posting "00- *Explodes*" rather than just "*Explodes*") which seems to ruin the continuity of posts. For SpC2K6 the numbers have mostly been omitted in order to confuse the newbies more, although they may return in future as some feel that making it clearer what it is adds to the insult.

For future contests, Board 8 members will be suggesting new phrases. Here is what we currently have for the most recent contest.

As of January 2010, some Seconds Game responses are now considered "disruptive" by the moderating team and will result in disciplinary action.

The Character Battle X Response ListEdit

00 - *Explodes*

01 – Thanks for that, Luster.

02 – paramore twitter boobs

03 - Your bracket just tore its quad!

04 - Did you get a PM from Preston or something?

05 - one less bracket to worry about

06 - Count Vertigo first appeared in Star City, where he attempted to steal back the jewels his parents had sold when they escaped to England after the war. The victim of a hereditary inner ear defect that affected his balance, Vertigo had a small electronic device implanted in his right temple that compensated this problem. Tinkering with the device, Vertigo learned he was able to affect other people’s balance as well, distorting their perceptions so that they literally couldn’t tell up from down, an effect known as vertigo. Donning a costume and taking the name "Count Vertigo", he embarked on a life of crime. This would bring him into conflict with the heroes Green Arrow and Black Canary. Count Vertigo's black and green costume with its insignia of concentric rings, was designed by Trevor Von Eeden. The patterning of the cape's inner lining was a tribute to Steve Ditko's distinctively arcane artwork.

07 -

08 - So this is a story all about how your life got flip-turned upside down.

09 - what ever [losing character] es dum

10 - You're gonna have a bad time

11 - You wanted _____ to win? TOO BAD! WALUIGI TIME!

12 - Who even cares? This is hella bullshit!

13 - Your face is bees.

14 - ##Vote:[topic creator]

15 - now dey gotta surfer

16 - Just another nail in your bracket's coffin

17 -


19 - Blacker than the depths of darkest night, hotter and more bitter than Hell itself... that is your bracket.

20 - You thought [loser] would defeat [winner] so you get NOTHING! YOU LOSE! Good day sir!

21 -

22 - Look to your bracket, now back to mine, now back to your bracket NOW BACK TO MINE. Sadly, it isn't mine, but if you would have chosen [Winning Character Here] It could smell like mine.

23 - The King in the North!

24 – That’s so interesting, TC.

25 - ya go my [winning character]

26 - Don't worry, it's opposite day!

27 - But is s/he hot??


29 - There goes bracket

30 - At least 40 million sperm are released per ejaculation, yet somehow you were born.

31 – Did you make sure you chose the fun entry?

32 - You bought an N-Gage, didn't you?

33 - We held a meeting and decided to screw up your bracket

34 - #POKEfear

35 -

36 - The velociraptor spots you 40 meters away and attacks, accelerating at 4 m/s^2 up to its top speed of 25 m/s. When it spots you, you begin to flee, quickly reaching your top speed of 6 m/s. How far can you get before you're caught and devoured?

37 - Screw this topic I have money!

38 - Menji76 asked a blind girl to the movies and you still manage to look dumber than him, wow.

39 - Just Monika

40 – because your bracket so bad, rice krispies won't even talk to you

41 - It's all part of The Plan™

42 - This topic sucks and is now about trains

43 - Hey do you guys scream after you pee?

44 - Literally Obsessed


46 – _____ will remember this.

47 - cool story bro

48 - The three worst games ever made are Hearthstone, Warcraft 3, and [losing character's game of origin]

49 - I cannot sanction your buffoonery.

50 - War13104 had Kefka beating Crono. He still looks smarter than you.


52 - ✓Seen

53 - All your vote are belong to us

54 - This let me know the contest had officially started, so thanks for that.

55 - Well EXCUUUUUUUUSE me, princess!


57 - my heart gors out to your bracket

58 -

59 - that one is going in the "whiners" folder, sorry TC

See alsoEdit